Chapter One: Good Old Days
"I wish somebody would have told me, babe
Someday, these will be the good old days
All the love you won't forget
And all these reckless nights you won't regret
Someday soon, your whole life's gonna change
You'll miss the magic of these good old days"
(12 years old)
You would think after being placed into the house that prides itself upon bravery, chivalry, and courage that I would at least have the ability to face the day less cowardly.
Maybe self-pity felt good when I was truly down and feeling so out of place, but I didn't always want to accept being the outcast. I just had to deal with it though. What exactly was I supposed to do about my family name or the fact that my house sorting created a huge disruption within my family that probably seeped into my reputation within the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? It made sense for who I was though; a complete and utter failure in the eyes of the Catchlove pureblood family. All I had to do was convince one lousy magical hat to put me into the house that my mother and father vehemently explained would only support our "great legacy" and any other house would disgrace them. What would only make them more disappointed was knowing I was sorted into the enemy house; the great lion house, the maroon and gold colors, the Gryffindor house.
It was just another incident to compare my whole life to my eldest sister, and another warning to our youngest to not turn out like me. You'd think at this point I would become used to the ranting, but no matter what I did to accomplish some type of greatness I was always thwarted by what they wanted.
I was a walking, nonresponsive list of failures and disappointments to my family. I could only imagine that they must've foretold my wrong doings, and my mother expected nothing less than that from there on. If I could have foreseen how much of a disappointment beforehand, I would've found a way to leave a long time ago, but now all I could do was receive my education, make it through the day without any attention, and figure out my plan to escape my family.
"Are you sulking again?"
Sighing I looked over to my left to see the bright, fiercely blue eyes of my youngest sister who leaned against the brick column. Her black hair caught the light of the sunny day creating a blue tint within the silky strands as the breeze fluttered through. It was her first year here; technically it was also my first year here, too. My parents thought it would be beneficial if I stayed home for one more year and entered the famous magical school with my youngest sister, but her vernacular didn't fit that of an eleven-year-old, and I didn't fit in with my classmates.
"Be careful, Viv," I started while shutting my journal close and hiding the book under my arms. Adjusting my seated position upon the stone seal that faced the transfiguration courtyard. "You'll ruin your reputation if you're caught standing too close to me," I grumbled to her. She didn't seem fazed by my words only sticking her tongue out lightly before walking to pat my feet away from the opening and sitting to take up the space.
"Your reputation isn't ruined you know… Maybe, just kiss up to Violet—"
"And allow her to misuse me to prove my loyalty? I'll stick to my social pariah status over that, Vivienne."
The Slytherin girl shrugged. It wasn't her place to try and solve these issues anyway; she had no quarrel as the precious Catchlove baby who followed in the right footsteps. Though I could understand she didn't want to see our sisterhood in such an estranged relationship. The fondness us three girls shared seemed like a distant dream that I could only recall certain parts.
"She watches out for you, Ronni." Her tone was softer, more childlike with the nickname. "You don't see it because she keeps it to the shadows."
"Like a true Slytherin, right?" I chuckled while looking back at the younger girl. I caught the twinkle and the small pull in her pale pink lips that showed she enjoyed the joke. Something had caught her eye causing her to lean to the side as her eyes narrowed lightly. I turned around to catch a glimpse of dark hair and Slytherin robes hiding behind one of the brick columns within the courtyard. Raising my eyebrow, I turned back to my sister who seemed to enjoy the shy classmates eavesdropping with a cunning look in her eyes.
"A friend of yours?" I asked.
"More like an aspiring competitor. Turns out that Snape kid is actually brilliant with potions… and it makes me sick." She hissed before getting up. "If you'll excuse me, I'm off to question his motives for spying on me."
"Don't be too harsh, Viv. He might just want a friend—"
"He's as friendly as a werewolf, Veronica. He'll get what's coming to him, housemate or not." Vivienne's retort left no room for changing her mind as her figure moved gracefully to the boy. I turned to watch the confrontation and expected more but was surprised to see and hear that their strange discussion involved heated words that carried on as they walked together. They weren't shouting but I could see even in the boy's face that their words weren't friendly.
"Is your friend in trouble?" I turned back to see a few fellow Gryffindors walking past. I recognized them as the troublemakers within our house. It wasn't too far into the year, and they proved to be the ones best suited to make sure we weren't winning the house cup during our school years here. The tallest one had neutral black, untamed hair, and glasses that framed his light blue eyes that twinkled with determination.
The one next to him looked like he was ready to jump at the opportunity of stating that my little sister was, in fact, in trouble. His tousled dark curls framed his face, and his bright grey eyes were piercing. They were like the fine silver we carried in our home. The third seemed more reluctant to be involved, and much more timid compared to the others with his honey-colored eyes that looked back and forth between me and the scene ahead of us, and light brunette hair that caught the sun in a way to made it look brighter. The fourth boy seemed skittish, much more nervous than the third, and looked rat-like with bucked teeth and a chunky little face.
"U-Uh, no…" I said while looking back at the two noting that a redhead, the sweet Gryffindor Lily Evans I had spoken to on occasion, had actually joined the two Slytherins. "I think it's some inner house rivalry or something, but no my sister's fine."
"Just as long as that slimy git isn't causing any trouble then!" The grey eye boy said while glaring at the three before looking back at me with a softer expression. I wasn't sure that that had to do with anything and merely shrugged.
"Is your sister in Slytherin?" The third boy asked as he looked over to me. "For some reason, I thought she was a Gryffindor."
"She just likes to spend time with me… I'm afraid they're in the 'perfect' house, or whatever." I grumbled while lightly rolling my eyes. This earned a bark of a humorless laugh from the first boy who approached me further.
"Those snakes really must think they're something other than the belly crawlers they are!" The first boy loudly proclaimed. "My dad says Gryffindor's have always been legendary, so don't forget that!"
I gave a shy smile unsure how to react to the outburst. "My family thinks differently, but… I don't really understand why."
"My family thinks that way, too! Don't worry, us lions know we're the ones who are better anyway!" The second boy said while stepping close to lean on the brick that had my back rested on. "You're in our year, right? I think I've seen you around the common room before. My name's Sirius." The grey eyes were livelier than ever as he straightened up in his robes.
"I'm James," The first boy said motioning to the two in the back. "This here's Remus, and that's Peter trembling behind us."
"Hey!" The fourth boy said, "I-I'm not trembling!"
"I'm just messing with you, Pettigrew." James dismissed with a laugh before turning back. "What's your name?"
I blinked between the four boys and wondered how this could've possibly happened. All I was doing was minding my own business, enjoying journaling, and musing on the idea of being free. What happened to the safety of being invisible? The promise of sliding under the radar of anyone or anything and getting my education without interruptions?
"V-Veronica," I answered in a meek tone. "Veronica… Catchlove,"
"Wait, that means you're related to that babe Violet Catchlove, aren't you!?" Sirius exclaimed causing me to jump from his excitement. I sighed at the common reaction of anyone mentioning my older sister. In our ancestry, our family had commonly intermingled with Veela, and a lot of their traces were passed down over the generations. My grandmother was full-blooded, the first one in two generations in the family tree, and her son happened upon a half-blooded Veela woman. In our family there was pride in how the magic within our blood was pure, but also how we had an advantage in our other gifts. It may have conflicted with the ideal of pureblood, but with our family's fortune and ties, it seemed to be a lesser concern to most.
At least that's how Violet explained it. None of the politics would've ever been discussed with me or Vivienne simply for our age, and I wondered if they'd ever discuss it with me whenever I came of age.
I grabbed my bag and swung my feet off of the seal of the opened column while standing up. I didn't know what I could say but I knew I couldn't handle the gawking that these boys would end up doing. I hurried past them before the sound of one of the boys yelling after me stopped me.
"Wait!" Sirius said catching my arm and running in front of me. "I didn't mean anything by it, I swear! I just know her because of my cousin, Bellatrix! Besides, I just meant she's got good genes." With an added wink that sent a flare of heat through my body, hands, and face. My mouth went dry at such a gesture I wasn't sure what to do.
"Oh…"
"Yeah," James came up and put an arm around my shoulders. "Besides, if all your sisters ended up in the worst house possible, and you ended up in the best, then clearly you got the best genes!"
I giggled while shaking my head and removing myself from James's hold to turn around and face them. "You all are quite odd, you know?"
The two boys went back and forth on how they weren't odd, or how they were just stating facts. Ever since arriving at Hogwarts, it was the first interaction I had that I didn't feel too out of sorts. Remus had come up to try and settle their dispute on who was the oddest, and Peter watched eagerly nodding to whichever boy made a point that sounded right in the moment. I took a couple of steps back as a light and shy smile played on my lips while watching them.
"Hey," Sirius turned to me and stopped my regression from the group. "Sit with us at dinner, will you? I wanna share stories of just how awful our family is." He said with a playful smile and glimmer of mischief that made his eyes livelier. I blinked a few times as so much within my small body wanted to protest and resist, yet the words came out before I could completely realize I had said them.
"Y-Yeah… uhm, sure, okay?" I said readjusting the books and journal I clutched to my chest. I turned away and practically ran out of the Transfiguration courtyard with the words "I saw her first!" echoing behind me. I was almost positive it was Sirius's voice that left me perplexed and feeling strange.
)))(((
(13 years old)
"Oh, look! It's Vile Veronica with her little boyfriend! Could you imagine how ugly their children are going to be?" The teasing and high-pitched laughter of Bellatrix Black, Narcissa Black, and their gang of Slytherin girls echoed through the hallway. It was a daily occurrence to be hassled by the two, but the comments would only get worse if it were just me. This time my sister, Violet, wasn't around to tame the hyenas. She had graduated the year before leaving me defenseless from the verbal, and sometimes physical, attacks.
"Shove off, Bella! Merlin himself would cower at the grotesque child you'll be having!" Sirius bit back while putting an arm around my shoulders to turn me away from the group and head down the hallway. "I swear it's like every year they morph closer into becoming harpies; don't let them get you down, Ronni."
I smiled and looked away before shrugging off Sirius's arm. "I think that side of your family acts like that due to inbreeding," I said earning a boisterous laugh from my friend.
"You might be on to something there!" Sirius smiled brightly at me as I nudged him lightly. We were headed for Potions class, just a normal day at school, and I had to admit that after last year and the few months during our second year I was beginning to enjoy the castle halls more by the day. I could thank my education for providing enough fascinating courses to keep me dedicated, but I had to give a lot of credit to the friends I was able to make. It turns out that while Sirius Black and James Potter found trouble around every corner, they occupied they were exceptional in the friendship department. Remus Lupin was a kind soul who understood that comfortable silence was necessary for me to survive. He was insightful and thoughtful, and a wonderful study partner. Whenever we did talk it was always a pleasant conversation. Peter could be kind as well but wasn't too keen to warm up to me just yet.
I was even able to warm up to the girls in my dorm like Lily Evans, Mary Macdonald, and Amelia Blume. It was a different environment with the girls, and I didn't just mean that because of the boys I had become close to. I was used to my sister's friendships, and while Vivienne and I grew up closer it was night and day compared to the kind and feisty friendships that the girls provided.
"What's the brilliant mind of Veronica Catchlove on to?" James' voice came from my left joining our walk. "Wouldn't happen to be a new jinx we could use on Snivelus, could it?" Sirius laughed at his friend's question.
I gave an unamused look to the Gryffindor boy on my left. "Please, I know he's a horrid classmate of ours, but looking for reasons to harass him won't stop anything. He fights back, and it's rather unfair in numbers!"
"Unfair in numbers? Did you forget who trails around him, or have you completely stopped talking to your sister?" Sirius scoffed giving me an incredulous look.
Vivienne had grown close to the Slytherin boy in a manner of speaking. While the two would constantly try to outdo each other in their academics they were often seen together, bickering or otherwise studying within the library. They were more frenemies than anything, but when it came to Lily Evans's interaction Vivienne tended to stay away when the girl would come by. Since she had taken up with Severus Snape and Violet before, she left, Vivienne was starting to become a person I wasn't recognizing. My baby sister didn't blow me off but would distance herself in the halls or act indifferent whenever I tried to talk to her.
I looked down as the three of us made another turn. I hated it when the obvious was thrown in my face regardless of the light tone.
"Hey," Sirius said while putting a hand on my shoulder making me look up at him as we all stopped in the hallway. "I'm sorry. I know it's kind of a sensitive subject with your sister." He gave a remorseful look. It dawned on me that Sirius had spoken about his brother, Regulus, in the same light before. A shared type of pain and frustration that we didn't find in others.
"Yeah, haven't you figured it out yet, Ronni? Sirius is just an idiot sometimes that you have to overlook!" James teased earning a playful shove from his friend. A small smile formed on my lips while lightly rolling my eyes.
"I think you're underestimating just how stupid he is, Potter!" I turned behind me to see the shiny black hair, the large and unflattering nose, and the dark eyes of Severus Snape himself walking past us. To my dismay, I noticed the blue-tinted black hair of Vivienne by his side and looking back between Severus and our group. She looked annoyed at the prospect of another fight happening.
"Shut your mouth, Snivelus! That nasty breath of yours will kill us all!" James spat at him with a heated glare.
"Why don't you do something about it then?" Severus turned around to face us. "I can take on all of you!"
"Can't you just give it a rest for once, Severus Snape?" I reasoned with him. His cold eyes narrowed at me and a sneer that aged him formed on his lips.
"As if I'd take orders from the lap dog that follows them around!" He spat.
"You take that back now, Snape!" Sirius yelled while taking his wand out and stepping in front of me. The movement was so quick I barely had time to register that Sirius, James, Severus, and Vivienne had taken their wands out. The two Gryffindors couldn't afford another detention from the one they just received days ago, and I wasn't going to just stand by while my baby sister was being brainwashed by the Slytherin boy.
"Wait!" I shouted but the flash of colors swarmed around me. Vivienne was too quick for James or Sirius to react, and with the reflexes of Severus the two boys were petrified and knocked to the ground. Students had surrounded us at this point from different houses exclaiming as the fight broke out. I gawked at the petrified Sirius and James before a flare of anger shot through me. Dropping my books I pulled out my wand and held it at the two.
Vivienne laughed and waved me off. "Quit playing, Ronni! The two had it coming." She said while forcing Severus to lower his wand that had pointed at me. She folded her arms and stood in front of her frenemy while raising her eyebrow. "You ought to pick the better company, you know." Her attitude showed she did not believe I would do anything. That I couldn't do anything in the face of a duel. She was my sister, and I didn't want to hurt her at all. Begrudgingly I lowered my wand and huffed.
"What on Earth–Oh!" The proper and startled voice of Professor Slughorn came about finding the scene before us. I quickly turned and remembered to lift the petrifying charm as the two Gryffindor boys relaxed and groaned, gathering themselves to stand up.
"Professor," I started but whatever I would say was ceased as Slughorn held up his hand.
"Another commotion, and this time it's dragged two sisters into it! You boys have better learn to live under this castle's roof, or surely, you'll bring it down on everyone!"
)))(((
(15 years old)
The early May weather was beautiful on this day. It wasn't too hot that the sun was uncomfortable, and the breeze helped create a cool atmosphere. I was able to enjoy my alone time writing in my journal, studying Ancient Runes, and singing. I loved being able to sing freely at a pass time. If there was one thing, I inherited from my Veela ancestry it was the mesmerizing singing voice. My mother had prompted something that I wasn't expecting, and I had to admit it made me suspicious of why, but she also said she could see the Veela within my bright blue eyes. It was sweet… which wasn't within her character.
I pondered on the last visit I had with my family. It wasn't the worst holiday to spend with them, but it was uncomfortable. Violet earned her expected praise within her ministry job, accomplishing her refined status among the purebloods and her position as the Assistant to Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic. Of course, Violet ate it all up as if it were her favorite dessert. Not to mention her engagement with Rabastan Lestrange. Her wedding was set to happen on Samhain of this year. Vivienne had kept to Violet's side the entire time we were back at our family home which only further broke my heart and our bond. Ever since Violet had left Hogwarts it was like the school turned to the next version of her; Vivienne became popular among the Slytherins and joined ranks with the likes of the Black sisters. She even somehow found a way to maintain her strange friendship with Severus Snape even if Lily Evans didn't like my sister.
I had grown to like Lily fairly well. She was sweet, smart, and a fun conversationalist. I think she was apprehensive of me due to my friendship with James, who tried his very best to woo the Gryffindor girl but with little to no success. It was both cute and annoying to watch his attempts at flirting with someone not interested in him. Any time the subject was brought up she'd always divert the conversation to how Sirius was interested in me. It was enough to make me uncomfortable every single time.
It didn't matter what I felt for Sirius Black. Not when his handsome, boyish charm attracted the eyes of other girls. Prettier, more popular girls.
"But he doesn't really pay attention to anyone else. Surely you've seen that!" The voice of Mary Macdonald interrupted my self-pity. A lot of these moments that the girls would point out only made me brush their words off, excuse Sirius's flirtatious nature, or his intentions were misinterpreted. It didn't matter if they soothed or tried to reaffirm their excited suspicions. I'd never bring it up with Sirius if my life depended on it.
I pushed my books aside and stared out into the field that overlooked the Black Lake and sighed heavily. It was maddening how I had to wrestle with my feelings about the grey-eyed boy of the Black family. As if my own self-doubt wasn't enough, it also went as far as involving my family. My mother and father didn't mind the aspect of a pureblood union and even encouraged this idea, but thanks to my sisters they were now aware of Sirius's reputation as a rebellious boy who didn't care for tradition. While they couldn't stop me from being his friend, I had the suspicion that they employed my little sister to keep tabs on our interactions. I was seeing her more often seeming to keep to herself but would come out of nowhere to pass the two of us in our rare moments of privacy. It was starting to make me feel like I was always watched with nowhere to keep to myself except within the common room. Lucky us we were in the same house, but so were my other friends and acquaintances.
I adjusted in my spot and decided with no other life around me that I could allow myself the moment to indulge singing my worries away. I started humming an old lullaby our house-elf would sing to me and my sisters when we were younger. It was quite morbid, a send-off hymn for the dead. I loved it through and remembered how I used to beg the kind and caring house-elf to sing to us. The singing stopped when she passed away, but I never forgot the words.
(*)"Dark the stars and dark the moon. Hush the night and the morning loon. Tell the horses and beat on your drum. Gone their master, gone their son…"
After the first bar, I felt more comfortable in raising my voice. It was freeing to have my own company to sing as loud or as softly as I wanted.
"Dark the oceans, dark the sky. Hush the whales and the ocean tide. Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum. Gone their master, gone their son…"
The water around me twinkled with the light reflecting. The grass that was revived during the spring seemed greener. I could hear the birds chirping loudly before fluttering away at the snap of a twig. With a panic, I turned to where I heard the sound to find Sirius watching me. He looked enthralled a delightful smile on his lips as he watched me.
"Don't stop on my account," he said while walking closer. Swallowing the embarrassment of a vulnerable moment I looked back to my hands that fidgetted with the hem of my skirt.
"It's not polite to sneak up on a lady, Sirius."
"I didn't want the lady to stop her incredible singing, Ronni." His voice had deepened over the few years I had known him, but I could still point out the young voice I remembered when we first met. He walked to take a seat next to me under the tree. "Besides… I've never heard you sing before. Why are you hiding such a talent?"
I snorted and rubbed my face feeling the heat taking over my body and constricting my ability to speak properly. "I… well, I just… You know I hate attention!" I whined earning a laugh from the boy.
"You? Hating attention? I would've never thought such a thing!" He nudged me. I looked back up at him. Even as we sat I could see the height difference. His shoulders were broader than I remembered from last year, and I could only assume they'd continue to fill out as we grew. I could see stubble on his face that started to define his jawline. His dark curling locks hung around his face and the dark lashes that framed his eyes were hypnotizing. How was it like I was seeing him for the first time?
"Where did Ronni go?" He asked while raising an eyebrow. Shaking my head I looked away from him.
"Sorry, just… a lot on my mind I guess," I said.
"Hey," Sirius whispered while putting an arm around my slender shoulders. "What's going on, Veronica?"
I sighed and leaned to rest my head on his shoulder. No wonder the girls gave me grief over my best friend. With how touchy and concerned he always was with me I couldn't deny how it looked to everyone around us. They didn't understand how our relationship worked, and even if I had strange and deeper feelings, I just didn't want anyone prying into it. Sirius was safe, and ever-present. Why would I disturb that with silly, fuzzy feelings?
"Just been out of sorts is all…"
"Did you know your nose twitches when you're full of shite?" He teased. I scoffed and laughed while lightly backhanding his chest. I pulled away from him and stared back at him.
"I just…" I started while looking into the eyes of the boy I had felt such a strong pull toward. Curiosity killed the Kneazle, but what they didn't tell anyone was that satisfaction could bring it back. Maybe Sirius wouldn't find it strange if I just asked. "A lot of girls… are talking about… us."
He snorted while giving me an amused look. "Oh really? Saying what?"
I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair. "W-well… I mean… they just think that w-we spend… a lot of time together, or something."
Sirius nodded before his brows pulled together. "Yeah, that's not a bad thing, right? That's what friends do." He answered.
'This was a bad idea.' I thought to myself shaking my head and immediately regretting my lack of critical thinking and disturbing need to know. "Just… J-Just never mind. It's stupid–"
"Ronni, wait!" His hand stopped me from gathering my books. "Hold on a minute! What's wrong with a bunch of gossip?" I huffed and turned to look at the confused expression of Sirius.
"They keep asking if we're more than friends!" I rushed the words out and looked away. My heart was racing from the words I had said, thoughts swirling of what he might say or do next. Was I too forward? Could I take it back and just act like nothing happened or bothered me? How foolish of me to let my emotions and curiosities get the better of me!
I didn't expect his laughter which was so bright it caused me to look at him as if he'd grown three heads all at once. He shook his head as his laughter died down looking at me with ease and shrugged. "Is that what's got you so gloomy?" He chuckled a bit while wiping under his eye. He looked so entertained, calmed, and seemed to enjoy this topic.
I blinked while looking around before my eyes landed back on him. "W… Well, sort of."
"And why should that bother you? I mean… it is just speculation. They'll never know how we truly are." He leaned over giving me a playful smile.
Biting my lip, I had to steady myself. "I… couldn't help but wonder… if you thought of me… differently?" I winced and looked up into his intense grey eyes. His eyes seemed to lock with mine in a way I had felt before but not as tightly. A feeling of knowing something I wasn't sure of filled my mind, swimming around until the thought came to me.
'He wants to kiss me.' This voice sounded like my voice but wasn't completely my voice. I could feel the difference between my thoughts versus this strange version of myself. I blinked and shook my head swallowing the strange feeling and thought away before gathering my books once again. "I'm sorry I asked, let's pretend I never–"
"Stop," Sirius said while putting a hand on the books that occupied mine. I couldn't look at him but once again I was able to do as he said. I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't easy to do with the nauseous feeling ranging within my stomach, although as someone who followed the rules and did everything she was told, it meant little.
"Look, I didn't think I'd get a chance like this any time soon. You're… You're bloody brilliant, Ronni. I mean it's been the second I met you I… Well, I've…" Sirius's words trailed off leaving him uncharacteristically lost for words.
This wasn't something I expected from him at all; the look of confliction at what else to say, his low sigh, and the licking of his lips made him look nervous. Sirius never looked nervous like this save for maybe the day of his first Quidditch match. Even then this was entirely different than the friend I was staring at.
I moved closer to him slowly. No words could be spoken no command within my mind to stop myself could cease my movements. It didn't help when I watched him move in as well. Our faces were so close that I could feel his breath on my face just before his lips found their way to mine. They were soft and gentle when they touched mine and sent electricity through my body. I wasn't sure how to react; I'd never kissed anyone before, but the idea seemed pretty straightforward. Sirius knew what to do from there as he tilted his head to lock lips with mine. I felt his fingers delicately grab my chin to deepen the kiss. With a shaky hand, I found the fabric of his robe to hold onto. This carried on for a minute or two before we had to pull away for air. Unable to look at him I laid my head on his chest just as I heard the rumble of a low laugh.
"Still shy after all that?" Sirius asked with an amused chuckle just as I bravely looked up to him. My cheeks felt like they were on fire at this point. I started giggling unsure of what to say to him. "Does that answer your question well enough?" I gave a small nod with a small smile as the two of us adjusted to sit up against the tree and continued to lay there taking in the peace and the excitement of this new chapter we discovered.
)))(((
(16 years old)
It was so hard to breathe through the sobbing as I tried my best to calm down, but the waves of despair rolled within my chest. It was horrible, truly and disgustingly horrible. My mother and father have taken so much from me already I don't understand why they would try to take even more!
I cried into my pillow trying to suffocate the loud sobbing. I pulled away from the wet fabric and rubbed my face, sniffling the snot as best as I could. I got up from my bed and hurried to my desk to tear a piece of parchment and wrote as quickly as I could.
'Sirius,
I'm so sorry I'm not even sure if I can write this but my mother and father know about us. Vivienne must've seen us or something, but they've forbidden me to see you again–'
Another sob built up as I tried to wipe the tears away as quickly as I could, but not all as some had fallen onto the paper to smear the ink. I tried to steady my breath once more and calm my breath enough to continue.
'They're taking me out of Hogwarts and sending me to Beauxbaton as a promise to do that! Sirius, I don't know what to do! Write back as soon as possible!'
I waved the letter for the ink to dry as much as I could before going to the long-eared owl upon its perch. Instructing the owl to go straight to Sirius and him only, to escape and come back if anyone else tried to take it. The owl hummed in understanding before taking off after I opened the window. The bright white and speckled brown wings took off into the night. In the middle of the summer, I had to wait until I heard from him and pray to Nimue that he would receive the letter. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, nor did know what to expect. I couldn't lose him when we only had the chance to spend a few months together in secret! It wasn't fair that my horrid sister betrayed me and for what? To add more torment to my life? As if there was anything else to take from me, or destroy from me!
I turned away from the window and went to sit with my back against my bed. Another round of tears came as I held myself and brought my knees to my chest. A small knock came on my door, but I didn't respond. Whoever it was could think I had run away or died. I didn't care.
"Ronni?"
"Go away!" I yelled through the sobs. The person rudely did not listen to me and entered, but who did? No one here. Just the boy that I cared about that they're forcing me to stay away from. I looked to see that it was Vivienne who looked appalled and torn.
"Ronni, I'm so sorry… Mama and Papa didn't tell me they would send you away, or—or anything like that!" She pleaded while dropping down next to me. "Please, I only did what they wanted—"
"That's all we do, Vivienne!" I turned to look at her watching her flinch. The black liner that rimmed her waterline had become a signature look and highlighted her shocked expression. "Of course, they were up to something more! Of course, they'd want to continue to ruin my life—I'm nothing like you or Violet don't you see?!" I grabbed her hand to pull her closer. "My friends were all mine to have—Sirius was mine! I could never forgive you—you're a traitor!" I pushed her away and buried my face in my hands. I wasn't sure how long she sat there in the silence that would be interrupted by my weeping. When I pulled my hands away, I watched as she sat with her hanging, curtains of black hair covering her face.
"I didn't know…" She muttered.
"Now, you do!" I gave an aggravated sigh with a shake of my head I got up. "Now, you can be Violet's little puppet for the rest of your life, and Mother and Father's perfect little spy! Is that all you want to be, Vivienne?!" She stood up and stiffened her stature, glaring at me.
"I'm not a pawn! I just know how to play these games–"
"Life is a game, is it? How would you feel if I told them about your strange relationship with a half-blood nobody who can't even afford proper clothing?!" I didn't care if I was yelling at her, nor did I care how cruel my words were even for me. I needed her to see how hypocritical she was, and how hurt I was from what she did. It looked like I accomplished just that with the tears forming in her eyes. They contrasted with the glare and the sneer of lividity that formed on her full lips.
"You leave him out of this! Your stupid little gang of heathens is always picking on him! If Black acted with decency or respect you wouldn't be dealing with this! Severus–"
"Is yours to keep, isn't he?" My tone lowered but the bite hadn't changed. It stopped her from saying anything else with eyes wide as the owl I just sent off. "He's yours to keep in your heart, right? You can act like you hate the boy all you want, but it's obvious in the way you trail behind him or started putting on makeup to try and pry his attention away from Lily Evans!"
"That's not true!" She hissed stepping closer to me. Black, watery tears trailed down her, but her ferocity didn't break. "Violet said… she said…" With just those few words made her face morph into something more concerned and panicked. She must've understood how ridiculous she was about to sound. Shaking her head she growled at me and turned away heading for the door. "You're just mad at yourself because you're the fuck up in the family. Violet was right—you don't belong to this family!"
She had yanked the door open to quickly slam it behind her. The picture of her tears streaming down her face, her own bravery trying to come back to me to right her wrongs and apologize. The emotions of this whole situation created a typhoon of more tears as I fell to my bed.
)))(((
I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep but when I awoke with a swollen face the next morning only brought back the memories of the night before. The window was still open with no owl dampened my mood further. After cleaning my face to try and soothe the puffy eyes and red, irritated skin I decided to refuse to speak to the rest of my family for the remainder of the summer if I could help it. When our house-elf, Dim, came to retrieve me for breakfast I told him I wasn't feeling up to coming down and requested a tray. Dim did his best to bring me down, but I was adamant about avoiding my family as much as possible. The day went on and I was thankfully left undisturbed. Dim came by once again with lunch and with that, I was left alone again. I always could hide away within my room by getting lost in my books, my art or even sitting by the window and daydreaming of all the places I would run away to. However, nothing was appealing to me in my haven.
I grabbed my journal and opened it to the far back where the back cover converted into a slip. I was able to keep my pictures hidden safely within the confines of my mind put on pages. I pulled out the three photos that I cherished more than most things in my room. The first one was of all five of us in a group, laughing and smiling. James was in the middle laughing between Remus on his right and Sirius on his left as I stood next to Remus. Peter had set up the camera and ran into the stand in the very front. It was our second year and Peter's mother wanted him to have the camera to capture his time at Hogwarts. It came in handy for many thoughtful moments.
There weren't many pictures I decided to keep, but there was one that I couldn't pass the opportunity to ask to keep. After our group posed, I watched as 13-year-old me and 13-year-old Sirius (*) looked across the group at each other instead of the camera. For a moment it held before the picture reset to play once again. I smiled and put the photo down before looking at the picture of when I was about 7 standing with my sisters. It was before anything had really affected our relationship with each other and we were just smiling little girls. Violet had stood in the middle and wrapped her arms around me and Vivienne. I couldn't stomach to look at it anymore.
I put that one aside to look at gazed at the one of me and Sirius. It wasn't long after our first kiss, and thanks to Peter's graciousness, we were able to use his camera. It was a weekend trip to Hogsmeade, and we were able to sneak away to take the picture thanks to the shrinking charm that made it inconspicuous to carry. Sirius was holding the full-sized camera steady in front of us as best as he could. It wasn't a small device, and he struggled a little bit to hold it. The picture captured me helping him hold up one side as he held the other leaning to kiss my cheek as the flash went off. I was smiling so hard my cheeks were hurting. I held the picture close to my chest as I felt another round of tears coming to my eyes.
However, I wasn't able to sulk for long. The sound of fire roaring and a green light cast from behind me recognizing someone coming through my floo channel. Quickly hiding the pictures, I shoved my journal under one of the shoe boxes I used for storage before turning and heading quickly to my fireplace. My heart skipped several beats as Sirius exited the fireplace, wiping away the dust and scanning the area before spotting me. I ran to him and hugged him as tightly as I could, feeling the weight of his arms embracing me with the same tightness. "Veronica," He choked out. His voice was like a Wound-Cleansing potion to my broken spirits.
"Whisper, I don't want to take the chance of them finding you here," I spoke into his chest.
"I don't care if they find me," he said while pulling me away hold me by my shoulders. "I'll fight them all off!"
I did care if they found him and took the moment to kiss him. Whether it was our last time or not I wanted to make sure to savor this moment with him, and maybe calm him down enough to comply. Sirius pulled me close before putting his hands on the side of my face. It felt like it all lasted forever, and I hoped it would've continued before he pulled away.
"They can't do this to you, Ronni," he said while looking into my eyes, his eyes filled with disbelief and worry. "I won't let them."
I smiled and looked at him with skepticism. "It's not that I don't find that endearing, but Sirius… what can you even do?"
"I'll change schools too, or… or maybe we should just run away!" He offered. "The point is I don't care what I have to do; they're not going to take you away from me! From your friends, too!"
I stared at him unable to respond to his wild ideas. I wasn't sure what I had expected when I sent him the letter, but I didn't think he'd be willing to change his life just for me. Taking a step back I wasn't sure what to say to him either.
"Sirius, I–"
"Veronica?"
I gasped as I looked to my door frozen at the sound of Violet's voice before knocking. I looked to Sirius and pointed to the closet while pushing him in the direction. "Just a minute!" I yelled to stall for time. As Sirius made quick steps, I was right behind him to close the door as gently as possible. Straightening myself up I went to the door and opened it.
The perfect face of my sister gave a serene smile with a delicate brow popping up at the sight of me. "You're not looking so well, Veronica." I rolled my eyes at her while stepping to the side to let her in.
"Did you come up here just to compare beauty, Violet?" I seethed while closing the door and folding my arms. Her long golden blonde hair was perfectly curled in elegance to match the elegant dark plum-colored dress. The way she sauntered within my room and looked around as if to study the nearly unchanged room. She turned around to look at me with her annoying composed smile.
"Now, Veronica, I'm not here to kick you while you're clearly down." She said with a nearly convincible compassion. "I hate to see that you're so distraught that you're rebelling against joining our family meals, or at least hearing out why mother and father are doing this." She motioned to the bed while moving to sit with just grace. I narrowed my eyes at her but didn't move. I didn't trust whatever was about to come out of her mouth. She shrugged slowly and looked down her face dropping just a bit as she continued.
"You shouldn't blame Vivienne for saying anything, you know. She actually told me first and I took the matter in my hands." She confessed.
A spike of regret as I remembered my fight with our baby sister flashed through my mind causing me to swallow the memory and listen on. My oldest sister may have been smart enough to use her womanly charms to manipulate everyone around her, but if you let her talk long enough, she ended up spilling more than she should.
"I told them because those boys have honestly been a horrible influence on you! Ever since you joined their little gang you've been more brazen with your back talk, or your strange views on Muggles." She spoke the last word as if she were afraid of getting infected just by speaking it. I rolled my eyes at her while holding up my hand.
"You can stop there, Violet. I won't listen to any more of these traditionalist ideals that you all are plagued with. You all may have gotten away with it by brainwashing Vivienne, but I won't fall for it, so if that's the only reason you came up here then just leave!" As I spoke, I put my hand on the handle of my door but was stopped when Violet stood up abruptly.
"It's not! I-I came here to try and beg you to see reason… and then I realized you don't know what's being said about you, or what mother and father are planning to do if this continues." She said while holding her hands together in front of her looking down. This time I could almost believe that she was being genuine.
"What are they saying then?" I pushed further.
Violet sighed while stepping closer to me. "Sending you off to another school is mercy. If you don't prove yourself worthy of this family, as they say, then they plan to marry you off."
My jaw dropped at what she said. If it weren't for the sheer fact of knowing just how deranged my parents were I wouldn't have believed my sister. I stared at her trying to sputter out some kind of response, but she went on.
"I tried to tell them you were too young, far too young to be committed to someone like that. I didn't understand why but they said it's the only way they could assure someone to properly influence your mind…" Violet sighed. "Would you believe me if I told you that changing schools was my idea? To try and save you from… well, Amycus Carrow or Evan Rosier even."
The sound of disgust came from my lips as I tried to gather my thoughts. Those men were older, and vile from what I could remember from school, and they wanted to send their daughter off to marry them!? Violet stepped forward to grab my hands in hers, and this time her face held emotion that I could believe.
"It's not enough that Walburga and Orion Black have a pureblood son for them to convince father and mother any differently, Ronni. Things are… changing out there, and I don't want to see you aligned with ideals that could… that could get you in trouble to put it lightly." She spoke. I couldn't think nor could I speak at her words. Things were changing. More Muggle-born attacks, blood purists were becoming more vocal, and things within our magical world were becoming much darker. Like the dark grey clouds and the stillness in the air before the storm would break, but when that storm would come was a mystery to me.
She pulled me quickly into an embrace that I didn't know how to perceive. I just stood there as she rubbed my back and smoothed my hair, the smell of her expensive floral perfume invading my senses. "I just don't want you like me; stuck in a loveless engagement with someone like Rabastan. You can understand… can't you?" She pulled away to hold me steady by the shoulders. Her bright blue piercing eyes stared into me to look for the answer before I could say anything. I nodded while looking away from her. Her eyes were far too ablaze with needing the answer she wanted to hear, and not with the one I wanted to fight for.
Violet gave me a content smile while patting my shoulder. "The best part is that you'll be with our aunt and uncle and cousins. You always liked them, right?"
My Aunt Viola would be a breath of fresh air compared to the living situation I had. She was eccentric, and more of an artist in a way that I could appreciate and love. My twin cousins and I never had problems, but also didn't exactly care for each other's company. Vienna and Vaughn were posh and absorbed in their ideas of presenting themselves as if they were royalty. Uncle Leo was a man I didn't care for at all and always left a strange impression on me. With another rehearsed nod of going along with whatever was said Violet leaned to kiss my forehead and lifted my chin.
"Now, get freshened up and join us for dinner." She said with no room to argue before turning away quickly and leaving through the door. Once the door closed, I turned to the now-opened closet door to see Sirius there. The color was drained from his face as he shook his head.
"They can't do this to us, Ronni." He took long strides to hold me in an embrace that I gratefully took. Burying my face into his chest I could feel the panic rising regardless of the comfort I took in from his touch. "Listen, it's mad to do this, but…" He held me tighter before continuing. "I've been wanting to leave my family home for a long time, and I know you've wanted the same… maybe this is the opportunity for us to take. We can leave—tonight, or tomorrow!"
I pulled back to look up at him. The idea was ludicrous, and completely done without any preparations. In that moment when I was with him, and after what I heard only to realize that I'd never be free unless I left, I couldn't find any fault. I didn't want to find any fault in the idea of facing the world with Sirius by my side.
"W-What about Hogwarts? Our friends?"
"We're sixteen now—we get to decide our magical education now, Ronni! The Potters love us you know that. We can—we can stay with them until we can figure out our own place just for us!" He moved his hand to cup my face. "We've talked about our savings that our parents don't know about—this is the time!"
I blinked at him while searching his steely eyes for any trace of foolery, or hesitation. He'd want to live with me? He'd do all of this just to make sure we were together? I had spent so long being careful and following the rules only for it to doom me once again. With Sirius by my side, I could find that courage within to decide what I wanted to do and to love whoever I wanted.
"Okay," I said while smiling brightly. "Yes, okay, we'll do it—tonight! After dinner I'll pack and—and we'll take the Knight Bus to meet at the Leaky Cauldron!" I said as his smile matched my delight. With a final kiss to seal the deal we planned to meet within two hours to sort our affairs, and in the same way he came in by the floo channel we were gone. I was excited and terribly nervous. I had never done anything this bold in my life let alone so disruptive to my family!
This would be the last family dinner I would have with those who would have done nothing but make my life miserable from the day I was born till my eventual passing.
'It won't happen you know.' That strange voice that sounded like me had startled me out of picking out a presentable dress. I hadn't heard it in months since I kissed Sirius, but the impression it left me was strange that I had tried to push it away. I took a deep breath and shook my head once more chalking it up to nerves.
'You'll find I'm always right soon enough.' The not-me-but-me voice spoke once again. I closed my eyes and tried to shove away the thoughts of something going amiss and continued to prepare myself to face my family. After putting on a silvery sleeveless dress and black flats I headed down the long staircase to cross over the foyer, passing by the sitting room before entering the dining room. Everyone was already there; Violet and Vivienne sat on either side of my mother who had her golden blonde hair half up to let some of the wavy and curly locks fan about her shoulders. She dressed herself in an emerald green dress that covered her from neck to wrist. My father sat at the very end of the table to hold his position as an intimidating leader of the family. His gelled black hair was perfect and looked the same as it always did. His navy-blue suit was spotless and adorned in an elegant pattern that resembled lace. All of them looked up at me as I entered with only Vivienne looking back to her food.
"Ah, mon amour!" My father spoke in his deep baritone voice as if he didn't break my heart the night before. "I was beginning to wonder when we'd see you." He gave a patient smile that would've made the devil with an ulterior motive jealous.
I forced my own smile and bowed my head. "I decided…" I started to say before swallowing. "I decided it was best to join you all for dinner and… put everything behind," I said before looking up and giving my best convincing smile. Violet gave her own smile before looking between mother and father who didn't look surprised, but pleased.
"Come sit, my little daisy." Mother casually said. Her warm alto voice was inviting and held no regard for entertaining last night's feud. I did was I was told while noting it would be one of the last times I would have to endure any commands. Dim met me at the chair next to my father to pull out my chair and practiced my mannered sitting while scooting in.
"I'm glad to hear you've come to your senses, cara mia." My father commented while taking a bite of the roasted duck. He didn't look at me with those dark umber eyes that had haunted my existence. I took a drink of the poured sparkling water that was vile, but could never decline during dinner.
"Perhaps I've been unfair to you, father," I replied while looking over everyone at the table. They did not look at me but kept everything casual as they ate. Everything seemed normal, and for the most part after an explosive fight that was expected, but something in me felt that there was something I was missing.
"Is that so?" He questioned before finally looking up at me. My father was a handsome man who used his looks to create a comfortable environment for anyone he came in contact with. It would disarm any confrontation he had with me or my sisters so he'd have the upper hand. My stomach swirled as I recognized the pause and his concentration held my look. "I suspect you think the remedy for your insolence is running away then?"
I gaped at him unsure how to respond. How? How could he have known!?
No one interrupted as I blinked and tried to think of something to say. I started to shake my head but stopped myself as it was better to let my father think what he wanted, truth or not, instead of trying to lie.
"F-Father–!"
"Cara mia, fret not." He said while sighing and putting his dining fork and knife down before pushing his plate away, taking the napkin from his lap to wipe his mouth, and throwing it down on the table to stand. He started walking slowly to where I sat with his hands behind his back. I swallowed and took another larger drink of my sparkling water before looking down and staring at my food. It felt as if any sudden movement I made would be paid for dearly.
"Tonight… you may leave." He spoke softly while standing next to me. Bewildered by his words I looked up at him to see his calm and even patient smile. "If you're so unhappy, how could I or your mother truly say we love you… if you can't be free of a place that dims your light?"
It was almost convincing and for a fleeting moment, I wanted to believe him. My father didn't just do something out of the kindness of his heart if there wasn't something in it for his benefit. I blinked as my eyes started to become bleary, and my head fuzzy. Panic tried to rise within my chest but was subdued by a calming, slow pull to relax. I abruptly stood found it difficult to gain my balance and grabbed onto the back of the empty chair next to mine, swaying as the sensation of feeling light started to creep up.
"Oh, no, no, cara mia. It's best to sit while the potion works through your system." He explained while taking a dangerously slow few steps toward me with hands waiting to catch me. I looked over at my mother to find that she was sniffing but refused to look up at me, pursing her lips tightly as she moved her food around. Violet looked remorseful but otherwise watched on, and Vivienne looked as shocked as I wanted to be.
"Papa, what's happening?"
"Shh, my little Vivienne, it's harmless," Father explained just as I lost the ability to grip the chair and my knees gave out. Strong hands were quick to catch me as the world began to blur and voices blended. Someone was screaming—Vivienne?-someone was comforting the screaming person while the rocky motion of my father hypnotized me further into a sleep that I couldn't break from.
"I'm so sorry, mon amour… it's for the best."
A/N: 1 - This song is called Gone by Ioanna Gika from The Snow White and The Huntsmen soundtrack.
2 - I've tried to set up the birthdays where Sirius and Veronica are just a year older than their classmates, so they'd be 12 in their first year, 13 in their second ect.
I've taken a canon character name, Catchlove, and decided to rewrite a story involving sisterhood, mafia style dealings with Death Eaters and crime/mystery. Since we all know the canon version it'll be fun to play around with the events to see how it all works out. After starting my last HP story, Take Me Back To Eden, I've felt the need to give Sirius Black a proper romance. I couldn't help myself involving Severus Snape, either. This will be darker, and of course there will be a focus on the romance but also with the dealings of organized crime. I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a review!
Face characters:
Veronica - Natalia Dyer
Vivienne - Billie Eilish
Violet - Scarlet Johansen
Mother - Nicole Kidman
Father - Oscar Issacs
Aunt Viola - Eva Green
Uncle Leo - Stanley Tucci
Vienna - Sabrina Carpenter
Vaughn - Dacre Montgomery