Go ahead and cry , little girl
Nobody does it like you do
I know how much it matters to you.
Natalia cried when she told Wanda, she was going to her father's for the weekend.
Wanda's parents had to explain that Natalia thought Wanda would be mad at her for leaving. That's why she decided to tell Natalia she wasn't but she'll be sad while she was away.
Natalia had cried again, it sounded rougher than before, which confused Wanda even more.
This time she told Pietro.
An hour later, he handed her four pieces of paper stapled together with the title, Amazing Adventures of Wanda and Natalia, across the front paper. He reminded her that comic books helped them when they were apart, and said, it would surely work for her and Natalia.
Wanda agreed, colored it, and gave them to Natalia.
she still cried, then hugged Wanda.
Pietro told her it was happy tears.
Wanda believed it.
When Natalia came back her hair was changed to blonde. Wanda asked about it, and Natalia said, red was too bold and bright, it was a strange and ugly color for hair.
Wanda disagreed.
Wanda didn't want to argue with her friend so she just nodded, and told her she looked pretty.
Wanda wouldn't care if her hair was as red as her cheeks, which only brightened them.
Natalia's younger sister means the whole to her, and Wanda understood that. She didn't know what she would do without Pietro by her side. He's her other half, and Wanda thinks Yelena is Natalia's as well.
Yelena was two grades below them.
She was carefree, loud, and the complete opposite of Natalia, that's why they fit so well. One day, Wanda commented on how much alike Yelena and Pietro were. Natalia had agreed, saying that she looked like the older one.
Natalia thought they were the same.
They were the mature ones, who had to protect their siblings.
"From what?"
Natalia had looked up, her eyes lacking the shine that was there before. Her voice was dull, which both frightened and conflicted Wanda more than anything. Her next few words only deepened the emotion.
" From the bad guys..."
The sisters went away that weekend.
Yelena didn't come back after the trip.
Natalia didn't talk to her anymore.
Natalia would ignore Wanda whenever she tried to. When Wanda sat by her, Natalia would immediately stand up and move.
Wanda didn't understand what she did, or why Natalia was angry with her. Dad told her, Natalia was probably through something and needed to be alone. Pietro had commented on how sad Natalia looked, and Wanda agreed.
Wanda decided to leave her alone.
Natalia would come to her when she was ready.
It was lunchtime, and Wanda was sitting at a table with her brother and his friends. The room was crowded but somehow her eyes always found Natalia.
She was in her usual spot, in the corner of the room, surrounded by bookshelves, with her head bowed. This time, Wanda noticed she wasn't alone. A boy with fluffy hair, Clint? was sitting beside her.
Natalia surprised Wanda when she didn't move.
Wanda had watched him open his lunchbox and offer her a piece of his sandwich. Wanda's heart sank when she saw Natalia take it without a sign of hesitation.
Wanda's eyes widened, and that's when she realized Natalia didn't want to be alone, she just didn't want to be around her anymore.
Natalia goes by Natasha now.
Wanda doesn't know why she changed it.
She loved Natalia, it was beautiful. It was a soft and gentle name.
Natasha is also a lovely name, but it's nothing like Natalia.
It doesn't matter what she thought, but she can't help wondering why did she change it.
Natasha and Clint were best friends.
They hung out every day.
She even saw Natasha's lips twitch up once or twice.
Natasha still doesn't smile, Wanda lowers her head, or she does, just not when she's around.
Wanda watches her from afar, Natasha doesn't even look in her direction.
Wanda missed her.
At 11: 30, she was called into the principal office.
She never went back to class that day.
Her parents told her that Pietro was sick, with something called cancer.
Mom told her it was a serious illness and not something that could be wiped away with some medical gummy bears when she asked. Dad said Pietro wouldn't be going to school with her anymore, she almost cried.
What broke her was when she visited him, and Pietro was too weak to even talk. His skin was pale, his lips were chapped, and while his eyes were barely open, she could still see the redness around them.
She was sad and confused because Pietro didn't look this bad on Monday when he first started feeling unwell.
He looked like what she imagined a vampire would be in real life.
Minus the fangs, he just looked dead, and that scared her.
Wanda had stayed by his bed for several days.
She talked to him about their favorite shows and showed him the comic strips she had tried to make for him, attempting to copy his style.
Most of the time, Pietro was well enough to talk and open his eyes, others she was just speaking into nothingness as he slept.
Her parents cried a lot but she had stayed strong for them, for Pietro.
Trying to protect him like she was supposed to.
They wrote a comic book, and it was named, Avengers Vs Mister Ill.
Pietro wrote that he defended him.
Wanda had hoped it was true.
"I'm sorry about Pietro," A voice spoke to Wanda when she arrived at school the next month.
Her parents had forced her to come back to school. They didn't want her to miss too much and fail her classes.
Wanda had stopped begging when they promised to watch over Pietro for her.
Wanda didn't have to look up to know who was it, but she did anyway because stupidly she had thought seeing Natasha's face would make her feel better.
It didn't.
Wanda could see how nervous she was, her fingers kept twitching, and she wouldn't even look at her for longer than a second, still, Wanda heard the empathy in her voice. The brunette wetted her lips, turning away.
Wanda didn't like it.
The brunette nodded her head and then there was an awkward silence.
The blonde opened her mouth to say something else, but Wanda didn't let her, she just shook her head, grabbed her bag, and moved tables.
She didn't feel like talking today.
Pietro had died that evening.
Her parents had started to homeschool her the next day.
Wanda was alone.
She had stopped hanging out with Sam and Steve, who were never her friends anyway; they were Peitro's best friends.
Wanda didn't want to steal something that was his.
Sam and Steve didn't leave her alone, not until she yelled at them.
That's when they stopped coming to her house.
Although they don't talk, she still sees them around the neighborhood, they're friends with Natasha now.
They all looked happy together.
what is the appropriate age for grief? The limit doesn't exist, but she wishes it did. She wished that she wasn't a child when he died.
She wished he wasn't young, and unable to fulfill his life.
She wished he hadn't died at all.
Years later, she's now in eleventh grade, and that's how she spent her days, just thinking.
She was a sheltered child, rarely going outside, and spending most of her time in her room. She would usually be writing in her journal and drawing, or staring out her window and watching other kids be... kids.
Her parents started to worry and thought she spent too much time alone, that it was unhealthy.
One night, they sat her down and told her they were sending her back to school.
Wanda surprised them when she didn't fight.
It's been a week since she started going to public school again, and Wanda was bored.
Movies and shows lied to her.
High school isn't how it seemed. There's not a single group of mean girls who thought they ran the school, no random students singing and jumping into a dance montage, and no serious bullying from what she could tell. There are just boring classes, with dry teachers who can't wait to leave as much as the students.
Besides the occasional fights in the hall, which Wanda didn't care for, nothing serious happens.
On her second day, Wanda figured out that she didn't have to go to the cafeteria when lunchtime came around, she went to the library instead.
Wanda had waved toward the librarian when she walked in. Wanda's grip tightened around the straps of her bag, as she looked around.
Students were rarely here, so it gave her privacy to write or read, without the sound of screaming and yelling in her ears.
Wanda walked down the aisle labeled fiction, although the library didn't keep up with the books she normally read, they still had good ones. The brunette's fingertip dragged along the shelf, searching for the book she left yesterday.
She was reading To Kill A Mockingbird, and although she was only a couple of chapters in, she was already enjoying it.
Wanda always had a deep enjoyment for thrillers.
A soft noise, brought her steps to pause, it sounded like sniffling. Wanda's brows furrowed, when she heard it again, with a sob following behind.
Wanda's curiosity got the best of her, as she peaked around the bookshelf, to see a pale-skinned girl, leaning against the wall, with her face covered, buried between her legs.
Wanda swallowed, as she stepped forward, "Are you okay..." Wanda trailed off, as the girl looked up.
The brunette breathed in, softly, when her eyes connected with a familiar pair of forest green eyes, that were glassy staring back at hers.
" Natasha?" She tested, hesitantly.
The teenager's eyes widen, and Wanda doesn't know if it was because she got caught crying or it was recognition, truthfully Wanda hopes for the latter.
"you're back?"
Natasha's voice cracked when she asked. She had straightened her back, using her sleeve to wipe her face.
Wanda just nodded her head.
Her brows furrowed when Natasha didn't move, or ask her to leave her alone. Wanda swallowed, brushing her palms against her pants, wondering if she should leave or go to the girl.
Wanda cleared her throat, "Is it okay if I..."
Natasha was already nodding before she could even finish.
Wanda bites her bottom lip, walking over to her. Her eyes followed Natasha closely, trying to find any signs of her not wanting to be here, only to see Natasha staring back with the same intensity.
Wanda awkwardly crouches down beside Natasha and crosses her legs underneath herself. She didn't know what to do, or say, so she just grabbed her hand, hoping somehow that had helped.
Natasha didn't pull away like she expected, her fingers tightened around her hand, and Wanda smiled, internally. The brown-haired teenager placed her intertwined hands on her lap.
They sat in silence, occasionally hearing a sniffle come from Natasha, Wanda had no choice but to stare.
Her eyes examined a face she hadn't seen in years. She looked older, but not in a bad way, just more mature. Wanda's frown deepened, she looked like a person who had been through a lot. Wanda tilted her head, people didn't want to hear that about themselves.
So instead she pulled back and really looked at her.
"Your hair is red," Wanda commented softly, her eyebrows raising as she did.
Besides the few light strands of blonde on the tips of her hair, she was a redhead. The brunette stared at her, gently, lifted her fingers, reaching out, hesitantly, wrapping around her curls.
Wanda watched a slight curl of the corner of her lip, she didn't care that it was small, or if she wasn't as close as she was right now that she wouldn't have even noticed it, she still counted it as a smile. The redhead nodded, her eyes widening, with some adornments.
"Yes, it is."
She loved it.
"I like it."
Natasha didn't respond, all she did was look at her like she was the first person to ever say that.
Which she doesn't understand, because no matter how good Natasha looked in blonde.
Red was always her color.
Two weeks passed, and she still thinks back to how she never asked Natasha why she was crying.
She wonders if she would ever get the chance to.
She does.
Wanda finds her, huddled in the same corner, crying again. This time Wanda didn't ask before sitting beside her, Natasha didn't look up, she just shifted closer to her, pressing their knees against one another.
"Are you okay?"
The redhead shook her head.
Wanda stared, trying to figure out the best way to ask. Luckily, before she could swallow down the lump in her throat and put her big girl pants on, Natasha had answered it without her knowledge.
"I miss Yelena..."
Wanda understands immediately.
Every day she awoke, she missed Pietro like hell.
Wanda grabbed her hand again, bringing it to her lap, her thumb gently caressing her open palm. Wanda quickly figured out that people grieve differently. Most didn't like touch, others didn't like talking. She learned that sometimes just being there is better.
Natasha laid her head down on her shoulder, she felt her shirt getting wet, but she didn't mind.
"Tell me about Pietro."
Her voice came out softly, surprising Wanda, the brunette frowned, as an odd feeling settled in her stomach.
She also learned that the way people grieve can change.
Wanda tells her that whenever she's thinking of Pietro she would draw. She'll often try to finish old comic strips he had left in his room. Natasha had asked if she still drew her, and Wanda blushed when she answered yes.
Natasha smiles from her admission and her embarrassment doesn't seem logical anymore.
Natasha told her she would go to their old treehouse when she's thinking about Yelena, to watch the forest stars. Wanda remembers every morning when Natasha would rush to her, smiling, telling her about how many of them she caught. She would hold Natasha's hand after school when she came over and told her that they died because she forgot to poke holes in the bottle.
Wanda knew they meant fireflies before Natasha told her.
They laughed and smiled until the bell rang.
Wanda felt better, and she hoped Natasha did too.
They didn't speak outside of the meetings in the library.
They didn't even glance at each other in the hallway, so, she was surprised when Natasha sat beside her in the only class they shared. It was third-period English, the only class without assigned seats.
Wanda's brows furrowed, as she looked around, noticing a few open chairs, and the single seat at the table Natasha usually sits at.
Wanda noticed Natasha's group staring at them.
The brunette turned to Natasha, who was beaming at her ( when did she start smiling so much?), Wanda frowned, with a puzzled look plastered across her face.
"Why are you here?"
Natasha tilted her head like a confused puppy.
Wanda would've thought it was cute if it wasn't for how nervous she was feeling.
"I just wanted to sit beside you."
Her frown deepened, instantly biting down on her tongue, not wanting a dumb why to slip out from her lips. She nodded her head, turning away, and the corner of her lip curled up slightly, as she did.
In her next class, three boys came to her table, she frowned, when she noticed they were Natasha's friends.
The boy with a mohawk sat in front of her, smiling, it was gentle and genuine like he was looking at an old friend, but she doesn't remember ever talking to him when they were growing up.
Clint reaches across the table, and steals the pencil resting on her notebook, "I haven't seen Natasha smile this much in forever," He commented, hitting the pencil against the wooden desk, trying and failing to make a rhythm as he did, Wanda frowns.
"I don't think I ever saw her smile," Sam, Pietro's friend, said, playfully, tilting his head, a pout settling on his lips.
Wanda's brows furrowed, as she watched them, sitting so comfortably at her table. Their topic moved away from Natasha, as they began talking about random things, sometimes even adding (or mentioning) her in their conversations, which confused Wanda.
She turned to the only person who wasn't talking, it was a tall blonde boy, she knew it was Steve. He was so nice when they were still friends, seeing his smile and the look in his eyes, she believed he hadn't changed.
"I'm glad you're back, Wanda," Steve said, softly, and he looked like truly meant it. She narrowed her eyes and glanced towards the two boys, who had now stolen her loose papers and were creating random origami boats and hats out of them, then she tilted her head and thought of Natasha.
She looked back at Steve, and smiled, softly, she was glad as well.
They all sat together.
It doesn't matter what class it was, the group always somehow found a way to her table, not caring for the teacher's rules. They even invited her to hang out with them after school. She had smiled when she first heard them consider her their friend.
She and Natasha still met up in the library.
They never told their friends about where they go each lunch period. Natasha grabbed her hand and told her it was their secret spot when she had asked about it. A warm feeling emerged in Wanda's chest, the brunette smiled, nodding her head, repeating the redhead's words.
Friday is the day everything changed.
Wanda and her parents had just finished dinner, and she was washing the dishes. She was on her last one when the doorbell rang. The brunette sighed, setting down the plate, before drying her hands against her shirt, and reaching for her phone.
The bell rang again, Wanda shook her head, pausing her music, "I'm coming!" She shouted towards the door.
She barely pulled away from the sink, when the bell went off again.
Wanda's brows furrowed, confused, she jogged towards the front of her house, as the ringing became rapid.
"Why are you— Natasha?"
The rest of her question died on her tongue, as she looked at the girl in front of her, who was drenched, as harsh rain poured around her. Natasha's eyes were red and puffy, the brunette frowned, and she realized the water on her face wasn't just from the raindrops. Wanda glanced at her clenching jaw, the arms locked around her abdomen, she was shivering.
Wanda leaves her confusion to the side, as she shook her head, grabbing her friend's hand. The brunette pulled Natasha inside the house.
She could ask her questions later, all she needed to do right now was to get Natasha warm.
Her parents were happy to see Natasha.
Wanda knew her parents wanted to ask so many questions, especially about why Natasha was here right now.
"I can't go home..." is what Natasha said, her parents glanced towards each other without saying anything. Wanda still watched them have a conversation, only using their eyes.
Wanda's mother sighed, after a moment, "Okay... but call your parents and tell me where you are."
Natasha nodded.
Wanda offered up her bedroom, since it didn't feel right, letting someone else in Pietro's room.
She was walking out of the bathroom when she decided to check up on the other girl. She, gently, knocked on the door, cracking it open.
"Are you asleep?" Wanda asked lowly, squinting her eyes into the darkness, she watched Natasha's figure shift on her bed.
"No," her muffled voice croaked out from underneath her blanket.
Wanda swallowed, her fingers fidgeting with the edges of her shirt, silence emerged in the dark room.
"Come in, Wanda..."
Wanda nodded, although she knew Natasha couldn't see her. She took a step forward, closing the door behind her, as she entered her room.
She walked closer, going to crouch down beside her bed, she smiled, slightly, as Natasha's head peaked out from underneath the sheet, " Hey."
" Hi."
Natasha lifted from the bed, wrapping the blanket tightly around her thin body, Wanda raised her head, frowning, at her still reddish eyes and dark circles around them.
"What happened?" Wanda asked, softly.
The redhead didn't speak immediately.
"Promise you won't tell anymore," Natasha asked, no, demanded, her brows furrowed, as she straightened her back, with a firm nod.
"I promise,"
"My mom is... going away for a while and she took me to my dad's house," Natasha spoke softly, Wanda's brows furrowed.
"I can't stay with him, Wanda."
She watched as Natasha's eyes filled with tears, Wanda frowned, as the redhead pressed herself against the wall, Wanda's blanket wrapped around her tightly.
"Are you scared?" She queried, the shakes and tears told it all, but still Wanda asked, wanting to hear it from her mouth.
"I can't stay with him."
She repeated, and Wanda thought she understood, but deep down she didn't want to.
She had begged her parents to let Natasha stay with them.
They were hesitant at first and said they had to call Natasha's parents before agreeing. Natasha seemed nervous when she nodded for them to call.
The girls sat beside each other on the couch, tightly holding the other's hands, as the adults talked in the kitchen.
"Please, don't let him take me." She pleaded once more, and Wanda squeezed her hand.
"I promise, I won't."
Natasha's head is lying against her shoulder, Wanda doesn't know if she believed her or not, but it doesn't matter, because no matter what, Wanda intends to keep her promise.
"Nat?"
The teenagers turned at the sound of Mom's voice.
The adults walked into the room, holding onto Dad's phone. He gestured towards Natasha, offering off the object, "She wants to talk to you."
Natasha nodded her head, with shaky hands as she reached for the phone. "Mama?" She whispered, rising from the couch, and moving towards the kitchen for privacy.
Dad crossed his arms, confusion and worry plastered on his face, Mom copied his expression, causing Wanda to swallow nervously, despite herself feeling the same way.
After a moment, one of the adults decided to speak. Dad turned to her, frowning, "Is there something wrong with Natasha?"
Wanda bites her tongue, lowering her head.
She felt Mom's fingers going through her hair, as Dad sighed, " Wanda..."
His tone made her skin crawl, her jaw clenched, "I don't know, Dad! She's not telling me anything, I just know she's..." Wanda trailed off, shaking her head.
"She what?" Mom asked, softly.
Wanda doesn't say anything, her silence gives them enough.
They sat at the dinner table, it was silent at first.
It was awkward, and anxious until the sound of Mom's silverware clinching against the plate echoed through the dining room. The teenagers' heads snapped up from their plates in confusion.
Mom swallowed, sending an unreadable glance towards Dad, who nodded. Wanda frowned at the interaction, as Natasha's fingers slid into her hand, the girls' bodies tensed.
Mom sighed, "Does your..." she cleared her throat, "Does your dad abuse you, Natasha?" Mom asked, surprising the teenagers.
Natasha's eyes widened, and she shook her head, "No!" She exclaimed, immediately, Wanda's parents looked at each other, "No, he doesn't, I promise!" Silently, pleading for their belief.
"It's okay, we believe you," Dad spoke, hopefully taking note of Natasha's distress, Wanda's muscles eased at Dad's sincere tone. He glanced at his daughter with a worried look, before looking back at Natasha, and asked, "Does anyone he know?"
Then there was silence.
She could almost feel Natasha's mind racing, Wanda's head snapped towards her. She was panicking, she had to be, her chest was resting and falling quicker than normal, and her cheeks were crimson.
Wanda squeezed her hand, and then Natasha looked up, the fear in Natasha's eyes ate at her heart. Wanda smiled, softly, "You can tell them, Nat, it'll be okay."
Natasha swallowed, her grasp around Wanda's hand, tightening.
"He has a friend."
Dreykov.
Natasha met him when she was five. She was scared when she first saw him. He was big and tall, and he hovered over her like a giant, but his eyes were what scared her the most.
She explained that they were so wide and dry like a beast, and not like the one from a fairytale but like the one from a horror movie. She said his eyes reminded her of Hannibal Lecter's.
Her dad had told her, that Dreykov was his best friend, he trusted him with his life, so he trusted his child with him. He told her to be nice and he would be something like an uncle to her.
She didn't start touching her until she was eight, he insisted that she was mature now.
She wasn't a baby anymore.
Wanda felt sick to her stomach, her father left the room with his face red, and her mother was crying harder than Natasha was.
"Is that why you stopped talking to me?"
It's been an hour since Natasha told them everything, her mom made them go upstairs, while she went to talk to Wanda's father.
They lay beside each other, staring up at the ceiling, looking at the millions of stars and dragon sticks that Wanda never took down.
She swallowed.
"Because of him?"
Their fingers brushed, as Natasha shifted, the redhead didn't immediately answer, and Wanda bit her lip. She could hear how heavily the girl was breathing, she could feel her.
"He saw you..."
Wanda grabbed her hand.
"It was Yelena's seventh birthday, we had a party and for some reason, he was here..." Natasha paused, the grasp around her hand tightened.
"Where's Yelena?" Wanda asked, caressing her thumb against the palm of her hand, she heard Natasha sigh, and Wanda brought her hand closer, placing them on her stomach.
They lay there in silence, for so long, Wanda nearly fell asleep. The only thing keeping her awake was the redhead's heavy breathing and the fear of leaving Natasha alone even if it was just to sleep.
The redhead turned in the bed, and Wanda closed her eyes, as she felt Natasha move closer to her, it was like every muscle in her body relaxed, when the girl laid her head on Wanda's shoulder, the brunette grip tightened around her hand, soon Natasha's voice broke out through the silence.
"I don't know... but I hope she's okay."
She would have liked to pretend as if everything didn't change but it did. She had started to overthink every touch she made.
Wanda was hesitant to wrap her arm around like she used to, or touch in ways she feared would be inappropriate, even if it was just a simple touch to the face. It didn't want to make the redhead uncomfortable around her.
"Are you okay?" Natasha asked her, after Wanda sat down in front of her, crossing her legs. The brunette tilted her head, with a smile, "Isn't that my question?"
Wanda begins to reach out for her hand, but she stops, her fingers lingering in the air. Her brows furrowed, and Natasha grabbed her hand before she could pull away.
Wanda watched the edges of the redhead's lips move downward, as she pulled their hands to her lap. The girl's brows furrowed, "Why do you do that now?"
"Do what?"
Natasha rolled her eyes, her shrugs slumping, as she huffed, Wanda smiled, slightly, as strands of her copper hair flew upwards, "are you being so weird?"
Wanda chuckled, "I don't think I can control that."
Natasha just sighed, shaking her head, "I'm serious, Wanda, you don't have to treat me differently because I told you."
"The reason I love you so much is because you didn't," Natasha admitted, her finger brushing against the several rings on Wanda's hand, the brunette tipped her head slightly to the side, Natasha bit her lip, "You weren't scared, or hesitant with me, you..."
"you understood me, Wanda." And, oh.
Wanda realized that she was doing everything wrong.
"I'm sorry," Wanda apologized, Natasha's brows rose, and her grip tightened around the redhead's hand, pulling it out of her lap and into her own.
" I..."
Didn't want to push her too far? To hover over her?
Wanda sighed, "I'm sorry, Nat, I didn't mean to make you mad."
The teenager shook her head, "I'm not mad, Wanda, I'm just worried that you're pulling away from me because... you know."
No, she doesn't.
"Finding out what happened to you isn't going to make me see you differently," Wanda admitted, looking down at their hands, and adding, "at least not in a bad way."
Natasha narrowed her eyes, frowning.
"But you see me differently?"
"Yes."
Natasha didn't say anything else, she just laid her head down on Wanda's shoulder, leaning against the brunette. Natasha's pain hurts like it was her own. It makes Wanda sick to know how long Natasha silently went through this, alone.
Wanda's grip tightened.
She isn't alone, not anymore.
She had Wanda, and the brunette hoped that was good enough.
and if you were my little girl
I'd do whatever I could do
I'd run away and hide with you.