Redacted
I'm Sorry
Edited: 3/24/2024
Sorry this is late. Been busy.
CW: Post-Torture, Mention of Amputation/Dismemberment
He is awake.
If others were to look, many would assume that Angel was asleep; with his eyes closed, arms tucket close to his sides, and his breaths even, Hope wouldn't blame them. However, she knows her Guardian best.
The subtly of the movements behind his eyelids, the tension in his shoulders, told Hope that he was still awake. And on high alert.
Hope breathed out.
It hadn't been long since she had exposed the truth to the others and she couldn't help but feel ashamed; Angel after all, had not wanted her to tell. But Ianos' eyes were sharp, despite her best attempt to hide the background, and she found herself confessing. Nonetheless, the worried looks, the words of concern, eased Hope's sense of guilt. Seeing their distress shows that they indeed worry for Angel's wellbeing, and she knows that once they are done at the Revenant base, that their next destination would be her Guardian.
If only to help ease Angel's worries now.
As if to prove her point, Hope heard a soft knock coming from the door and she saw Angel's eyes snap open. Her Guardian sat upright, green eyes wide towards the only entry and exit; Hope cannot help if this is a fire hazard for a Medical Wing.
Despite wanting to comfort her Guardian, Hope also couldn't help but narrow her optic at the door; she had informed the medics that she had everything under control, especially since the number of staff made Angel tense and jumpy.
"Hope." Angel's words were hardly a murmur, "My gun."
She turned and hissed out, "Angel."
Hope didn't want to, not at first, but then her Guardian turned his eyes towards her, and she saw the flicker of fear; she didn't have to ask what he was so afraid of.
Although her instincts screamed at her to deny Angel's request, Hope found herself relenting, transmatting a hand cannon into his hands. As Angel handled the gun, Hope couldn't help but feel a little guilty; she knew that he wanted a weapon that he had crafted himself. Instead, she gave him another from his collection, one that fires well but the recoil is high, affecting accuracy.
Taking in a sharp breath as her Guardian hefted the Hand cannon into his hands and aimed at the door, his finger pressed against the trigger, Hope waited.
The door then slid open.
"Angel?"
Seeing familiar azure optics peeking in, Hope couldn't suppress the shout, a scream when a resounding bang rang through the air followed by Cayde leaping to the side. There was a noise, a ricochet before finally, the bullet embedded into a wall, leaving behind a smoking hole.
"Damn it! I thought they said weapons weren't allowed in the Medical Wing!" Seeing the Hunter Vanguard scramble to his feet, Hope quickly glided over and took Angel's weapon, setting it back into his Vault. There was a sound of protest but nothing more, and instead, Hope watched as Angel's shoulders rose, hands curling into fists; he was preparing himself. Hope wondered if it had been a good idea to rebuild his prothesis after healing the other limb.
Nonetheless, she found herself looking back at Cayde as the latter brushed himself down, hearing him grumble under his breath before his optics finally settled upon hers.
"Hope." The usual sing song greeting of his caused her to shrink, pressing her shell against her core as she backed up over Angel's shoulders, especially when the Hunter Vanguard slowly closed the distance, "Just the Ghost I need to talk to."
"About what?" Hope murmured, hovering close just above Angel's shoulders, "Wasn't Archer's reports enough?"
That is when Hope spotted the lightheartedness fade from Cayde's optics followed by a wince; this confirmed her suspicions that this was more than a just follow up. She had made it quite clear to the Vanguard that they weren't going to file a report, not when Angel was still trying to recuperate. Not to mention that Archer was present during the entirety of Angel's capture and torture. His statement would have been more than sufficient.
"Look," Cayde started, "I know that our last conversation wasn't the most pleasant and that I am the last Guardian that you want to talk to right now." Hope gave him a narrowed look, "But hear me out." Cayde clasped his hands together and Hope recognized a pleading look, "Please?"
Keeping her glare on the Hunter Vanguard, Hope momentarily glanced at Angel and spotted the twist of softness and broken trust intermingling in his green eyes. She sighed before turning her attention back to Cayde, "Fine, but I can kick you out any time, got it?"
Seeing Cayde's optics brighten at this, Hope reluctantly glided to the side, giving Angel some space and signaling to Cayde to approach her Guardian's bedside. Immediately, Angel's shoulders tensed, hands trembling in his lap and she saw his jaw clench. She can tell that her Guardian was trying to keep his expression neutral as possible. But his eyes betrayed him.
Before Hope could say anything, she then spotted Cayde pause in his steps, blue optics dimming. He had noticed.
"You know, when Archer came to us and reported in about, well, this." Cayde gestured at Angel with his hands, "I didn't believe a word of it." Hope couldn't help but blink at his words, "I mean, come on, fellow Guardians torturing another Guardian just so they could have a few words with their missing leader? Seemed kind of farfetched." Then the small smile that had been on Cayde's face faded, "Then, Liam came in and backed him up and well, the three of us were taken aback, shocked really." There was then a soft and bitter chuckle from him, "If it makes you feel any better, those involved are currently being investigated. The Speaker and the Consensus are currently debating on a verdict."
This made Hope scrunch her shell together, "The Vanguard aren't going to get involved?"
That is when a bitter smile formed on Cayde's face, "Usually yes, but Ikora said it would be better off if we stay out of it, mainly for a reason that this case is a bit too." The Hunter Vanguard vaguely waved his hands, "personal."
Hope flinched; right, Cayde had taught Angel for a few months before he was assigned to Fireteam Redacted. No doubt the Consensus used that against the Vanguard to keep them out of the case.
Giving Cayde a pitying look, Hope then decided to turn her optic back over to her Guardian. There was still caution in his eyes but, she noticed the tension of his body has eased, and his expression was filled with surprise.
"Personal?" She heard Angel repeat, "What do you mean personal?"
There is a snort from Cayde, "Kid, I may have taken you under my wing for no more than a year but the Consensus considers it long enough where I am emotionally compromised when it comes to you." He then shrugged, "I tried arguing, but even Zavala and Ikora agreed and told me to step aside, and that they would do the same, since we're supposed to be the 'Vanguard'. Wouldn't be the same if one of us is not involved."
Dipping her shell downward, Hope then turned her attention back to Angel. He had momentarily turned his eyes to his hands, folding them neatly in his lap. Her Guardian didn't say anything.
"…How are your arms doing?"
"Cayde!"
Shooting the Vanguard Hunter a warning look, Hope then worriedly glanced back at Angel, only to pause as she saw him shifting his hands, turning them around as if the examine the condition itself. She couldn't help but press her shell against her core, subtly gliding closer.
When she had worked on his arms, Hope had wondered how her Guardian had managed to stay conscious as long as he did. The wound was ragged, showing just how many cuts it took to dismember them, and the burns to stop the bleeding must have been excruciating. Angel himself had told her how it felt to be hit by Solar Light. It had made her wonder how he had even lived through the process.
Her Guardian's wounds had been serious, serious enough where the medics recommended death, to speed the healing process but, Hope wasn't having none of that. Although temporary, death is still traumatic; there was a reason why many Guardians still try to avoid dying as best they could. As such, Hope had given the medics a few choice words before kicking them out. She cannot help but wonder if their license to practice medicine should even be used on Guardians.
"Just relieved that I have my arms back." Angel's answer snapped Hope out of her thoughts, prompting her to look back at her Guardian. There was a wry smile on his face. Strained, but real, "Well, an arm and a half if you want to be accurate."
At first, there was a stiff pause at Angel's words, easily sensing the surprise from Cayde before finally, the latter let out a short laugh.
"Now I can understand why the Warlocks and Titans call us Hunters insane." The Hunter Vanguard walked over to wall – one where Angel's bed leaned against- and leaned his shoulder upon it for support, "cracking jokes at times like these." He then raised a finger at the door, "Touche, my friends. It is now safe to say that we are all crazy."
Then, to Hope's surprise, there was a laugh from Angel, causing her to turn her green optic at him while her Guardian retorted, "Weren't we always crazy?"
"That kid, is up for debate."
Cayde's quip was quick but nonetheless, it brought a smile to Angel's face. It brought her relief, allowed her to ease, but just as quickly as his smile came, it was gone, and his expression turned somber, brows furrowed.
"The Blossoms, the one who…" He swallowed, "What's going to happen to them?"
Her optic dimming at his words, Hope then looked back at Cayde, only to see that the Hunter Vanguard's expression had turned blank. His optics too, were dim.
"My best guess, exile." Hope couldn't help but sputter; Cayde continued, "To pack up and leave the Tower."
Hope jerked back, optic wide. But that would mean…
"That means they're going to be out in the Wilds!" Angel's shout made Hope jump, "The Wilds is my home! How can I go out there knowing that they – " Her Guardian came to an abrupt stop, unable to finish, and when Hope turned, she saw that his eyes were wide, hands trembling again.
"My family is out there." She heard him whisper, "My pack is out there and they will – " Angel stopped once more; she can feel his agitation grow through their bond, "Can't you imprison them? Or keep them bound to the Tower?"
"Kid." There is a sigh from Cayde followed by a strained but gentle smile; Hope can tell it was an attempt to ease Angel's worries, "You know how the Eliksni are. They may lack the light, but they are still capable of fending for themselves. You have heard the stories of Guardians being taken down by them."
Yes, but…" Again, Angel paused, and Hope can see the glimmer of distress in his green eyes as his gaze lowered, 'If they are exiled, it won't be safe out there." She heard him take in a deep breath, "It won't be safe for anyone, it won't be safe for me."
And that is when it hit her, why the growing fright of her Guardian; despite having lived at the Tower for a few years, the Wilds will and always be Angel's home, his place to return to when he needs his thoughts and his time. If Lumir and the others were simply exiled, there will be no doubt that they will keep an eye out for Angel if he were to take a step back into the Wilds. And for a free spirit such as her Guardian who enjoys the thrill of adventure and the freedom of what lurks outside, it would be a battle of giving into his desires or to give into his fears. Either choice would not benefit him, physically or mentally.
Thankfully, Cayde must have taken the meaning behind Angel's words for Hope then saw the Hunter Vanguard flinch, cross his arms, and lower his optics in thought.
"Honestly, never thought of it that way." He admitted as he glanced over shoulder and on cue, the familiar white and orange shell of his Ghost came into view, "Sundance, inform the Speaker and the Consensus of Angel's well-being when it comes to the verdict on the blossoms. They should take that into consideration."
Seeing her fellow Ghost nod in confirmation, Hope then saw Cayde turn his attention back to Angel; his blue optics were gentle and kind.
"I know it's not much, kid." He said, "But, hopefully the Speaker will be able to do something."
That is when a scoff can be heard from Angel, Hope watching as her Guardian's gaze fixed back onto his lap and crossed his fingers together, gripping them tightly.
"Like they did much of anything when it came to Ianos and the Revenants." He said.
Hope spotted hurt in Cayde's optics, "Not much we can do, kid. The Consensus holds most of the power, you know that."
"…I know…"
If Angel hadn't looked hopeless before, he did now as his shoulders dropped, the light in his eyes fading as he heaved out a sigh. This prompted Hope to glide over and settle in between the crook of his neck. That is when she heard him sniff, causing her to pause and look up. She pressed against him as she saw the tears.
"Did you know that back when Hope and I were on Venus, she would tell me stories, stories of Chosen, of the Guardians." She heard him start, "How these Soldiers of Light would battle against the Darkness, protecting humanity against any threat, and that they are considered heroes of the City for their duties?" Then, Angel raised a hand, and Hope watched as he used the back of it to wipe at his eyes, "I was naïve, believing all those heroic deeds of Titans being a living wall to protect the City, Warlocks scavenging old ruins and texts to rediscover lost knowledge, and the Hunters scouting regions to help expand. I learned after coming to earth that most of those stories, they aren't true." His voice trembled, "at least, they don't reflect on everyone."
Hearing this, Hope couldn't help the guilt, the squeezing sensation settled into her core. She had been looking for her Guardian for so long, that she had heard the stories, the heroic deeds of others, and she couldn't help but relay them to Angel back then. She had dreamed of doing the same with her Guardian. Now, she realizes that he had brought his expectations too high. And thus, made the disappointment worse.
"But now, the longer I stay here, in this Tower, in this Haven, I am starting to see that Guardians are not truly heroes." Angel continued, subtly shaking his head, "No, they're nothing but greedy bastards, only interested in building up their own fame, uncaring of anyone who gets in their way!" Hope felt his anger rise, and then, just as quickly, it was replaced with befuddlement and confusion.
"I thought Guardians were supposed to protect." His voice had gone quiet, "to protect themselves, to protect civilians, to protect us." Defeat can easily be heard in his tone, "I just do not understand. I want this City to be safe, I want the people to be safe, I want New Lights to be feel safe, I…I want to feel safe."
Hearing this, Hope's guilt deepened followed by surprise; did Angel really not feel safe behind the walls of the City?
As she pondered upon this, Hope then jumped as she felt something hot and wet hit the top of her shell. She looked up and then paused. Tears were running freely down her Guardian's face.
"I want to go home."
Taking in his words, Hope again realized just how young Angel truly was and not just in years after his resurrection, but in general. She had taken consideration of his body stature, how mature his body had developed when she chose him, but Hope also noticed the softness of his jaw, how lean he is compared to the other adults. This prompted a question to settle into Hope's core.
How young was Angel when he first died?
Turning her attention back to her Guardian, Hope saw him again use the back of his hand to wipe away his tears, although it did little. The instant he wiped them away, more would fall, and soon, she heard noises, sobs permeating from her Guardian's lips. That is when Hope started to panic. She had never been good at this.
Readying to push herself away from her Guardian, Hope then paused when she spotted movement from the corner of her optic and she turned to see that Cayde at closed in, standing near the bedside. Then, before she could ask what he was doing, he reached out, wrapped his arms around Angel's shoulders, and pulled him close.
At first, Hope wanted to protest, to shout, to tell Cayde to go away. But then she felt Angel's body deflate beneath her followed by a soft breath leaving his lips. This was soon followed by Cayde's sharp exhale.
"I'm sorry." Hope jumped at his apology, "I'm sorry that we failed you."
Watching as the Hunter Vanguard rested his head against Angel's, Hope decided to say nothing; it is not often that they see this side of Cayde. Instead, she stored this memory in her core, made a mental note that, although still bitter, they have at least Cayde they can confer with when it came to the Vanguard.