The Houses Competition Year 10 round 8.
House: Slytherin
Class: Prefect
Category: Drabble
Word Count: 575
Prompt(s): Severus Snape, [Action] Praying for mercy
Warnings:
Severus stumbled out of Lily's house. He had to get out of there before the Aurors or Dumbledore's Order arrived.
It was his fault, it was all his fault, and now Lily was gone. It was always his fault. Every bad thing that happened in her life was because of him. Petunia hating her, her housemates shunning her for her first few years at Hogwarts, her becoming a target of the aspiring Death Eaters, her marrying Potter, and now her death. It was all his fault.
He stumbled to a stop in front of the small church in the center of Godrick's Hollow. He had never been religious. His father would quote the Bible at him when he was younger, but only when he was drunk, so Severus never paid much attention to it. The doors to the church were shut, and they were probably locked. If he wasn't on the edge of throwing up, he might have laughed at the irony. It was like his whole life he had been locked out in the cold rain. Potter used to say he hated him because he chose to be a Death Eater, but was it really a choice if he had no other option?
When he reached the front doors of the church, he pulled at them. Locked. He didn't know why he cared; it was as if some part of him was craving the forgiveness that his father said came through God. With a careful glance around him, he pulled out his wand, cast Alohomora, and slipped inside.
It was cold inside the church, but Severus didn't care enough to cast a warming charm. He walked to the front of the room; he didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do, but he knew he was supposed to kneel down. He paused at the altar and knelt down.
He didn't really deserve forgiveness, did he? What he did to Lily was unforgivable. He loved her, and he had wanted to be with her forever. Instead, he had led the Dark Lord to her doorstep. He was almost as bad as Black, who had betrayed her to the Dark Lord. He didn't deserve forgiveness.
The thought of praying to God didn't seem right, either. It wasn't as if God could fix the mess he'd made. Maybe it was blasphemous, but Lily was the one he needed to pray to.
"Lily?" he said, his voice sounding oddly hollow in the empty church. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me—you made that perfectly clear even before I led to your death—but please, have mercy. I don't know what happens after we die, but if there is something after, and if I ever see you again, please don't hate me.
"You have always been the kindest person in my life, you have always treated me like I was worthy of existing. Please, if I see you again, don't take yourself away from me. Please, just don't hate me." He looked up towards the dark window across from him, the once-beautiful stained glass now dim with night. "I'll be better, I promise. I'll do everything I can to make up for what I've done. Just please have mercy. If I get to see you again, please don't hate me."
He didn't feel better. Why would he? He had destroyed the life of the only person who ever cared about him. He didn't deserve mercy.