QLFC: Season 11, Round 1

Team: Kenmare Kestrels

Position: Chaser 1, Captain

Prompt: Black Widow Pulsar: Write about an attraction to someone or something that can only end in disaster.

Additional Prompts:

(Action) Shouting

(Emotion) Defeated

(AU) Space

Word Count: 1057

Warnings: Implied future suicide

Notes: does this secretly reference my pirate AU? Yes, yes it does

Regulus knew this was a bad idea. He knew it from the moment the Morsmordre had docked at the Inter-Galactic Order for the Protection of Homeworlds and New Exploration Outreach Center and his eyes had met the eyes of the captain that President Dumbledore had sent to greet them. Regulus had heard of Captain James Potter before, but he'd never met him. Sirius, Regulus' brother, was second in command on James' inter-galactic exploration ship, the Mighty Marauder. His parents had complained countless times about James stealing Sirius away, especially after James had allied with President Dumbledore and the IGO-PHNEX when Lord Voldemort started his campaign to bring order to the inter-galactic community.

But it wasn't because James was Sirius' best friend that this was a bad idea. No, it was doomed to fail for many other reasons. First of all, James was an optimist.

Regulus tried not to roll his eyes as James sat down beside him in the mess hall. Where was Sirius when you needed him? If he was here, he would distract James and Regulus could eat in peace.

"So, what are you going to do after the peace talks are over?" James asked.

Regulus glanced over at Evan and Barty, who were watching the exchange with no shortage of amusement. They all knew the peace talks wouldn't end in peace, and so did Dumbledore's crew, but not James.

"I haven't given it much thought," Regulus said.

"Perfect!" James said. "I'm going to go back to exploring on the Mighty Marauder, you can come with! You're a researcher, right?"

Regulus almost swallowed his water wrong in surprise. "I don't think Sirius would agree to that, and besides, I'm already part of a different crew, I can't just go galavanting across the galaxy with you."

The mischievous grin that crossed James' face as Regulus finished talking made his heart skip a beat. "We'll see about that. You'll change your mind, I just know you will!"

Regulus wished he could change his mind, but that was almost a month ago, and since then not only had peace become less likely, but Regulus had learned that Lord Voldemort had no intentions of coming to peaceful terms anyway. This whole operation was a guise to get Lord Voldemort's top people access to the IGO-PHNEX's systems. That was another reason why this was a bad idea. Regulus was stuck, trapped in the life his parents wanted for him. He wasn't like Sirius or James who could break away from society and be free. He was too afraid.

"What are you afraid of?" James asked.

Regulus stared at their hands, which sat intertwined on James' leg as they sat together in the Captain's quarters of the otherwise unoccupied Mighty Marauder. The room was almost completely dark, the only light came from the IGO-PHNEX Outreach Center coming through the window. James had dragged Regulus out here to show him the ship, but for the past hour they had simply sat on James' bed, holding Hands and cuddling.

"I'm not afraid of anything," Regulus said. That was a lie.

"Then why won't you come with me? We could be like this forever."

Regulus sat up, slipping his hand out of James', but didn't turn to face him. "It doesn't work like that, James," he said. "Even if there is peace, I still have my family, and my oath to Lord Voldemort." He didn't have to look at James to know that he didn't like that answer.

"But your family's awful to you! Sirius has told me all about it, they've never treated you right. And why would you want to fulfill an oath to someone that wants to destroy the galaxy's freedom?"

"It's not that simple, James, and you know it," Regulus said.

"Then explain it to me!" James said, desperation raising his voice. "Because it doesn't make sense for you to choose to be miserable, when…"

"And who are you to tell me I'm choosing to be miserable?" Regulus shouted, standing and turning to face James, who did the same. "It's my life, my decision, and I'm not going to abandon my family."

"I saw you when you first got here, you were miserable!" James shouted back. "You don't have to live like that!"

"You don't know that. You've barely known me for a month, and that's being generous," Regulus said. "So why don't you take your judgments and your condescending attitude and talk to someone who cares what you think."

He had stormed out after that, but their fight hadn't lasted long. Quiet, longing stares across the mess hall quickly turned into makeout sessions in dark corners. Even so, Regulus always knew it was a bad idea. They could never be together, not really. Regulus was bound to Lord Voldemort, and James was too good of a person to tolerate it.

Regulus stared across the mess hall at James one last time. He was talking to Remus, his navigator, laughing and joking about who knows what. He would be happy eventually, he was too good of a person not to be. Whatever had been between them would eventually fade away.

James' eyes met his, and his heart clenched as James subtly nodded towards the door. The proposal was clear. Do you want to sneak off together? Regulus wanted to nod, he wanted to go with James, to be with him, but he couldn't. Not this time. Not ever again. Regulus had to do this. James had been right that night two weeks back. He was trapped; by his family, by Voldemort, by his own fear. There was only one way out, and it would save James too.

He looked away and grabbed his dishes, excusing himself from the conversation. James would probably try to follow him after fifteen minutes, but it would be too late by then. He would be gone. The information drive he had stolen from Voldemort's room sat heavily in his pocket. It was designed to be almost indestructible, only an explosion could destroy it, and Regulus was out of options. He knew the captain's code to the Mighty Marauder, he could access the escape pods. He could only hope that its engine would be powerful enough to destroy the information drive.

James would blame himself, but at least he'd be safe. At least he'd be alive.