Ganyu cleared her throat. "Bill 7,777,777: Head pats for Furina, all in favor?"
"Ay," said everyone in attendance.
"The motion passes. Senate will vote on the bill next Congressional Session. We will now hear articles of impeachment against Justice Ella Musk. Yanfei, are you ready to make your case?"
"Yes, ma'am." Yanfei got up and went to the podium. "Ella Musk has become hostile to Representative Shenhe, ruling against her even in the most clear-cut cases. I'd like to draw your attention to…"
Xianyun half-listened. She'd made up her mind to approve the girl's impeachment a long time ago. Anyone who picked on her disciples deserved nothing less. Besides, Ella Musk was just annoying. Her reputation as a genius was vastly over-inflated.
"Thus, Congress simply has no choice but to remove her from the judicial branch."
After the argument, they deliberated for a while. Ganyu brought them back to vote. The articles were approved and sent to the Senate for the official trial.
Xianyun admired how her Ganyu handled the Congress. She was objective, clear-headed, and rational. Under her, everything got done perfectly.
The Congress took a break for lunch. People discussed the proceedings among themselves. Most saw the impeachment as a done deal. The girls were fiercely protective of each other and didn't like a judge slighting their ranks.
Who'd replace Ella? There'd been gossip that Tubby had been considering a Vision Wielder like Albedo or Bennett. Others thought she'd choose Manly Jack or Glory. Some women wanted Old Finch to take the bench, but he was too old for that. Maybe she'd nominate another cat, Roger, Nelson, or Paisley.
While they talked, Xianyun regarded her disciples Shenhe and Ganyu. Not long ago they'd been children. How time flew.
Proud as she was of them, one thing continued bothering her. She thought by now, they'd have little ones of their own. If only…
"One wants grandchildren," she sighed.
Beside her, the Divine Priestess Kokomi chuckled.
"Funny. Not long ago, I had a conversation with some of the girls about children. Remember that, Mona?"
"Indeed," said the astrologist. "How many each of us want."
"D'aww, how cute!" chimed Yoimiya. "I know you all will be great moms!"
Ganyu flushed crimson. Eula turned up her nose in a scoff, but Xianyun could discern the smile playing across her lips. Shenhe cocked her head.
"Technically, Master is already a mom—to me, Ganyu, and Shuyu."
"Yes," said Xianyun. "Raising you two was no easy feat. Shenhe often wandered into trouble, and Ganyu was so plump she rolled downhill if left alone. One recalls Ganyu's first diaper change—."
"Cloud Retainer!"
"What? One merely wished to say that you required special underwear given your Adeptus heritage. One experimented with many different fibers and materials until discovering the perfect diaper-wear which would not cause you rashes."
Ayaka became thoughtful. "I had no idea children needed different diapers."
Xianyun scoffed. "Of course. Children have different temperaments and needs. A wise mother adjusts her parenting style to suit the children. Why, when raising Shenhe—"
Her disciple pinched her beneath the table. Xianyun adjusted her glasses, a little ruffled.
"As One was saying," she continued, "Ganyu and Shenhe had different needs as children. Ganyu oft cried for attention, while Shenhe scarcely made a sound. One opted to give Shenhe space so she could grow. Forcing her to be disingenuously affectionate with One would've been unwise."
"Remarkable," said Ningguang. "How did you manage?"
"One had some help," she admitted. "Being a parent means balancing another person's needs with your own. A mother must rest and take care of herself to be the best for her child. Once One neglected her sleep, and little Ganyu ran around Mount Aoczang clothed in nothing but—."
"Cloud Retainer!"
"As One recalls, this gave rise to the legend of the Liyue Streaker—."
"CLOUD RETAINER!"
"The first child is rough," she said, "but the highs and the lows are all part of the journey. One spent many an hour creating playmobiles and baby formula."
"Say, Miss Xianyun," said Collei. "I was wondering is it better to use formula or breastfeed?"
"One believes there are merits to breastfeeding that should not be ignored. Although One could not breastfeed Ganyu, One attempted to replicate the nursing experience through mechanisms. In One's opinion, breastfeeding facilitates the bonding between parent and infant.
"However, nursing alone is insufficient. Infants, given the choice between food or comfort, will prefer comfort. One did all One could to embody a maternal figure for Ganyu and Shenhe. This social bond is of utmost importance for the infant's socialization."
"Um… what's 'socialization?'" asked Collei.
Xianyun explained the concept. As the lunch continued, she lost herself in stories of her girls. Just before she could retell the story of Ganyu's close scrape with a monster, her disciple abruptly called Congress back into session.
They returned to their podiums. Her disciple assumed the gavel and read through other motions, bills, and legislative issues.
Before they could dismiss the Congress, Ayaka introduced a new motion. The Kamisato Heiress took to the stand.
"Our lunch conversation has made me think," she began, "we all plan to be mothers. I know little about children and would benefit from instruction. Many of us feel the same. Therefore, I propose we draft legislation similar to the Yae Miko's Sex Education Act and create a class dedicated to preparing us for motherhood. Moreover, I'd request Miss Xianyun head the class."
Xianyun blinked, surprised by the proposal. Ayaka addressed Xianyun.
"Would you be willing to teach such a class?"
"One is willing to lend her expertise should it prove useful."
"Excellent," said Ayaka, "Then, let's draft the legislation."
Excerpt from Syllabus:
SUBJECT: Parenthood 101 INSTRUCTOR: Dr. Xianyun
TEACHING ASSISTANTS: Dr. Kamisato Ayaka, Dr. Lisa Minci, Dr. Peruere, and Dr. Rosaria
COURSE INFO: Students will learn tasks related to Parenthood including but not limited to: 1) Diaper changing; 2) Nursing; 3) Soothing a crying baby; 4) Burping; 5) Saving Mora for College; 6) Adjusting parenting style to best fit the child; 7) Extreme diaper changing; 8) Self-care; 9) Feeding; 10) The emotional highs and lows you can expect; 11) Heavy-duty diaper changing; 12) Managing babies' elemental powers; 13) Cooing; 14) Lullabies; 15) Holding the baby properly; 16); Selecting appropriate cribs; 17) How to sometimes operate off one hour of sleep; 18) How to find thanks in an occasionally thankless job; 19) Proper diet for a baby; 20) How to properly dispose all the soiled diapers.
By the end of this course, students will be able to: 1) Provide exceptional care for their infant; 2) Not be intimidated by the stresses associated with parenthood; 3) Know what to expect the first time around; 4) Change a diaper blindfolded.
ATTITUDE: Parenthood can be frightening, but the highs are well worth all the lows. Come to this class with that attitude. Understand that the task will require all your effort, but don't hold yourself to an impossible standard. Nobody gets it right, not even the Adepti. Thankfully, we all have each other. We will not embark on this wonderful journey alone.
Please pay your tuition to Miss Xianyun before the semester begins.
National Headpats for Furina Holiday by Charlotte
Today, the UHA Congress signed a new bill into law that deems Furina's birthday a national holiday. This bill decrees that UHA members shall give Furina headpats in recognition of her selfless service to Fontaine. Furthermore, the bill decrees that Senator Furina is a "Celestia-Damned Queen who we will love and protect."
The bill, championed by President Tubby, was unanimously approved by the bicameral legislature. Everyone voted in favor. The single abstainer, Miss Furina herself, was utterly speechless. She said, "Um…that's nice, but you really don't have to do this for me." To which everyone responded, "We're doing it anyways."
In other news, the Senate voted to impeach Justice Ella Musk for demonstrating continued bias against UHA House Member Shenhe and various misdemeanors including but not limited to Monopolization, Money Laundering, Tax Fraud, and Being Cringe.
Ella Musk plans to dedicate her new free time to her Hillichurl studies. Privately, she admits that she hoped to be let go but felt too prideful to resign. "I made a big thing about how they wouldn't bully me off the court, you know? I couldn't just step down after that, so I did all those crimes to get dismissed." When asked whether she had any concerns about going to jail for tax fraud, she laughed, "Silly goose! Rich people don't go to jail."
There was great debate over who President Tubby would nominate to fill the vacant seat left by Ms. Musk. Some believed President Tubby might nominate a liberal judge like Albedo or a moderate like Manly Jack. Ultimately, neither was nominated.
President Tubby instead nominated the lively Night Pilot, one of the many cats working at the Cat's Tail. Specifically, Night Pilot runs the Murkwood Shroomlord's Witness Tavern challenge. As a veteran Genius Invocation player, Night Pilot enjoys support from Kokomi, Yae Miko, and other Genius Invocation fans/addicts. Moreover, Night Pilot garnered support from all the catgirls in the UHA. This broad support helped the cat secure nomination to the bench.