[At the Royal Woods Roller Rink.]

Roller Derby Announcer: "And the Royal Woods Roller Queens have done it again!"

[Lynn and her roller derby team stop skating and cheer for themselves.]

Lynn: [Howls like a wolf] "Hey guys, wanna celebrate our win at the Burpin' Burger."

Margo: "Sounds great. Mind if I invite Elliot?"

Nadia: [Scoots in] "Oh yeah, can I bring Theo?"

Lainey: [Scoots in] "What about Alice?"

Maddie: [Scoots in] "And Kaito?"

Lynn: [Silent at first] "Uh, who now?" [Her teammates gradually point to the stands, where three boys and one girl are cheering for each of them.]

Fans: "Do it, Margo!" "Go, go go!"

[The teammates all swoon, with Lainey doing a split while in love. Nadia stands her back up.]

Lynn: "Are those like, your dates?"

[They all nod in agreement]

Margo: "Yeah."

Maddie: "Uh-huh. Uh-huh."

Lynn: "When did that happen?"

Margo: "I don't know."

Nadia: "Just kinda did."

Lainey: "Like, yesterday."

Maddie: "During halftime."

Lynn: "Right. Well, I was thinking this would be a team celebration." [Her friends whine in misery; Now beat] "But I guess those guys can come too."

[Her friends are happy.]

Nadia: "Whoo!"

Margo: [Clappping in excitement] "I can't wait!"

[Later, at the Burpin' Burger, Grant gives Lynn her order, with blacksmithing tongs.]

Grant: "One 'Fire-in-the-Belly' Burger with extra Dragon Sauce. You know, Lynn? You're the only customer who's been brave enough to order this."

Lynn: [Pats her belly] "Iron gut, baby." [Takes her tray and goes to the booth, but her friends and their dates have taken up all the space on the table.] "Okay, guess I'll just, sit in the next booth." [She goes to the next booth, but another couple gets there first. Lynn growls and moves again, to the kiddie table where a boy is playing with the ketchup bottle.] "Guess I can sit in the kiddie section." [Lynn sits, struggling to get her legs under the table, and hears her friends laughing.] "So Maddie, that was a killer C block in our last jam." [Maddie and Kaito - not paying attention - are just staring at each other, with partially wrapped straws in their mouths.] "Uh, Maddie?" [Kaito blows the wrapper off his straw and it forms the shape of a heart.] "Maddie?" [Maddie does the same and Lynn gives up on her with a growl. She turns her attention to Lainey.] "Lainey, how's that rink rash healing?" [Puts her leg up, showing her rash.] "I think mine's turning the corner."

[But Lainey is busy too, taking selfies with Alice.]

Lainey: "Awe, you're so cute as a chipmunk."

[They are using a chipmunk filter.]

Alice: "Nuh-uh," [laughs] "you are."

[They both laugh.]

Lynn: "Oh, cool filter. You guys seen the one that makes you breathe fire." [Suddenly, the kid squirts ketchup at the back of Lynn's head.] "Yah! Hey!" [The boy squirts the ketchup everywhere, laughing. He sees Lynn and escapes before Lynn grabs him. Lynn sits, and looks at her now soggy burger. She goes by her friends, wringing ketchup out of her hair.]

Lynn: "I schould get Jan here he is a much cooler boyfriend,"

Margo: "What did you say Lynn?"

Lynn: "NOTHING"

Lynn: " welp I'm out of here, guys. Guess I'll catch you later." [Starts to leave]

Margo: "Wait! Don't you wanna come to Gus' Games & Grub with us?"

Lynn: [Pumped] "Heck yeah! Which one of you clowns wants to take me on at the Dunkster three-thousand?"

[At Gus' Games & Grub, Lynn shoots basketballs at the Dunkster three-thousand.]

Lynn: "Swoosh." [Throws another one.] "Swoosh." [Scores one million.] "Boom baby, new record." [Lynn's gotten the high score.] "Whoo! Number one! Up top."

[She looks for a high five, but there's no one around to give her one as a tumbleweed of tickets rolls by.]

Elliot: [Watching Margo play the claw machine.] "Oh, oh, oh, you're almost there, ju-, oh, right there, just grab."

[The claw retracts.]

Margo: "Elliot, I'll win you that stuffed triceratops if it's the last thing I do."

[They ogle at each other, and cuddle up, much to Lynn's disgust. Meanwhile, Maddie and Kaito are playing dance battle.]

Kaito & Maddie: "One, two, three, go."

[They start dancing, in sync with each other, and get perfect.]

Kaito: "Ha, ha, ha. Perfect, just like you."

Maddie: "No, you are. Victory hug!"

[They hug each other tightly, Lynn is annoyed.]

Lynn: "Who wants to go to my house after this? I got a new sports injury compilation DVD."

Lainey: "Oh, well, that sounds fun, but, it's couples' night at the cineplex."

Alice: "Two for one."

[The two laugh, and Lynn groans.]

[At the Loud house, Lynn is watching her compilation alone as she calls me.]

Lynn: [Mockingly] "Two for one." [Scoffs] "Whatever." [Grumbles and pouts]

[i answer]

Me: "Oh hi baby."

Lynn: "hi babe uh i have a question."

Me: "that is?"

Lynn: "Could you come to my next roller derby game i know you have alot to do because you play for fc Bayern but are you free?"

Me: "Yes sure id love too!"

Lynn: "Great see ya"

Me: "see ya"

[lynn hangs up]

Lynn: "lets goooo!"

TV Announcer: "Up next, you won't wanna miss this; water polo, oh-no."

[Someone has a mishap during water polo.]

Lucy: [Appears on the couch next to Lynn with Fangs.] "Ooh." [Lynn gets startled] "This looks gruesome, may I join?"

Lynn: "Oh, uh, hey Lucy. sure."

TV Announcer: "Yikes, and that's why you always wear a helmet."

[They watch, and Lucy notices Lynn is a little upset.]

Lucy: "Is something wrong?"

Lynn: [Annoyed] "No!" [Moment of silence] "It's just, everyone in my roller derby team is suddenly in a couple. I'm just this lame third wheel!"

Lucy: "Well you also have a boyfroend right."

Lynn: "True. But he dosent come to all my games like them but i invited him now."

Lucy: "Hmm, great but it sounds like you're worried your friends are going to leave you behind."

Lynn: "Yeah, I guess that's it." [She groans and lays face first on the couch. Lucy tries to comfort her, but Lynn gets up on her feet quickly, startling her.] "Who says I gotta be left behind? No one puts Loud on the bench. If everyone else is gonna bring theyre boyfriends i will too!"

Lucy: "yea you already said that but ok wait lynn do they even know you have a boyfriend?"

Lynn: "Uhhh i dont think so but i have dating hin for 2 to 3 months now."

[The next day, the middle school bell rings, and Lynn talks to me]

Lynn: "Yo lets do a race with these boys"

Me: "sure"

[Lynn and me go out to the athletics track.]

Lynn: "Alright, time to show off my date. Let's see who can keep up with Lynn Loud but my bf will win anyway." [She looks around and notices some boys on the track getting ready to race. She and me join them.] "On your mark, get set," [blows an airhorn] "Go!" [She and me speed off, but stop when they realize that the boys are still at the starting position.] "What?" [She brakes to a halt and looks back.] "Huh?"

Tween #1: "Forget this, there's no way we can beat them."

[He and another boy get up and go, and the third just falls over.]

Lynn: "Huh, guess I gotta try something else."

Lynn: "Ah, come on man. Why are you so good?"

Me: "i dont know i just am but your also strong"

Lynn: "Thanks. But um my game is in 2 hours your coming right"

Me: "Of course"

[At the next roller derby game.]

Roller Derby Announcer: "And the Royal Woods Roller Queens have done it again!"

[Lynn and her roller derby team stop skating and cheer for themselves.]

Girls: "We crushed it again!" "Yes!"

Lynn: [Howls, takes her skate off, and smells.] "Mmm... The sweet smell of victory."

Margo: "Yeah, great win guys. Should we go celebrate at the Burpin' Burger?"

Lynn: "Good idea. mind if I invite my, boyfriend?"

[Looks over towards Lynn and laugh]

Maddie: "like you have a byofriend

Lynn: "i do!"

[lynn points at me who's drinking a soda, and holds up a sign and cheers for Lynn.]

Me: "Whoo! Lynn!" "Go, Lynn!"

[The rest of the team squeals in excitement.]

Maddie: "Ah, Lynn, we are so happy for you."

Nadia: "Being in a couple is so much fun. You're going to love it!"

[Lainey squeals again, and the whole team hugs Lynn.]

Lynn: "Um guys"

Nadia: "what?"

Lynn: "im in a relationship longer than you guys"

Nadia: "what! For how long"

Lynn: "3 months"

Margo: "why did you never tell?"

Lynn: "Because you would ask questions the whole type and stuff like that"

Maddie: "Sounds like us"

[At the Burpin' Burger, Grant gives Lynn her order.]

Grant: "One 'Fire-in-the-Belly' burger and one cookie dough shake, extra chunky."

Lynn: "Just the way I like it ey babe what do you want."

Me: "Im fine with the same Thing"

Lynn: "alright, ok make that 2 times"

Grant: "Ok"

[Takes her tray, and passes her friends' booth, to the next one, where i am.]

Me: "Thanks baby"

Lynn: "No problem" [blushes]

Margo: "Aren't you going to split one menu"

Elliot: [Takes Margo's hand] "That's what couples do."

Me: "Uh we are a other case we love spicy food and one half isnt enough right baby"

Lynn: "Hell yea" [laughs]

[Her friends sit back down]

[Lynn tries to talk to her friends.]

Lynn: "So guys, I was thinking about our next match against the Fern Valley Ferrets."

[But Lainey and Alice are too busy giggling to listen.]

Lainey: "Oops, got a little mustard on your nose, you messy Bessie."

[Wipes the mustard off Alice's nose. Lynn is disgusted, she then notices Dexter holding up a napkin.]

Lynn: "Huh?" [my hand moves closer and holds it and wraps her arm around me.]

Me: "i love you."

Lynn: "i love you too"

Me: " you have some milkshake on your face."

Lynn: "I was saving it for later" [lynn laughs] [Her friends look at her again.]

[i punch lynns arm]

Me: "your so funny"

Margo: "HEY! Dont fight"

Lynn: "GODAMN ITS IN OUR BLOOD"

[At Gus' Games & Grub, Lynn and me are playing pinball.]

Lynn: "Whoa, Ah." [Strains]

[Maddie walks up to us.]

Maddie: "Hey guys, wanna play ping-pong?"

Lynn: "Cha, yeah, I'll grab us some paddles."

Maddie: "Make it four. I was thinking we could play doubles, Kaito and me against you & Dexter."

Lynn: "Uh Alright me and my boyfriend will beat yall asses"

[Later, they are playing, and Lynn and me are dominating.]

Lynn: "Got it."

Me: I got that one

Maddie: [To Kaito, delirious] "That was amazing, just like you."

Kaito: "No, you are. Victory hug!"

[They hug again, and laugh.]

Lynn: [Getting back up] "Ugh, you guys really don't have to do that after every point."

Me: "True"

Margo: "Have you guys ever hugged"

[me and lynn turn red"

Lynn: "um we kinda made out just with clothes on gehe"

Me: "yeaaaaa"

[The others look in shock]

Margo: "im sorry that i broke yall privacy"

[Next, everyone is at the roller rink.]

Lynn: "Awe yeah, free skate! Who wants to race?"

[Lynn is skating on her own. She stops as soon as she hears the announcement.]

Roller Derby Announcer: "Grab a partner folks. It's time for Couples' skate."

Lynn: "Wait, what!?"

[Lynn notices Nadia and Theo skate by, in each other's arms. Then another couple skates by, knocking Lynn over.]

[Later, Lainey and Alice are skating along with hand in hand.]

Lainey: "Isn't this fun, Lynn?"

Lynn: [Skating beside them, holding my hand, annoyed.] "So fun."

Me: "This is boring

LETS GO TO DAIRY LAND"

Lynn: "hell yea!"

[lynn and me do handshake]

[Next, they all go to Dairyland.]

Lynn: "Awe, yeah! Dairyland! This was such a good idea, jan. I can't wait to check out the new cattle battle. Oh, oh, oh, I might even try to beat my personal puke record on the Curdler."

Me: "Me too"

Nadia: "Maybe next time. Today's all about the new Sweetheart Land." [Holds up a map]

Margo: "We've planned an awesome day, sharing hot chocolate at the Cocoa Corner."

Maddie: "Holding hands, on Fly Me to the Moo."

Lainey: "Sunset raft rides through the tunnel of butter."

Maddie: "Just think, that'll be you and Dexter."

Lynn and Me: "HELL NO"

Lynn: "Look, Me and my boyfriend are going home

Me: "yea we are going home"

[Back at the Burpin' Burger.]

Grant: "Alright, two cookie dough milkshakes."

Lynn: "A thank you, sir."

Lainey: [Offscreen] "Hey Lynn," [She and the others are in the booth again.] "we didn't see you come in. Sit with us!"

Lynn: "Awe, that's okay," [Takes one of the straws out of her milkshake.] "I know you're all doing your couple thing, so we are just gonna hang in the kiddie section." [In the kiddie section, the obnoxious boy is getting his ketchup bottles ready.] "Oh, I'm ready for you this time, buddy." [Chugs her milkshake, smashes the cup on her head, and grabs some mustard as i do the same.] "Let's do this."

Margo: "but you also have a boyfriend"

Lynn: "yea but its different"

[Lynn and me dive and squirt mustard at the boy, and dodge his ketchup attack, then they start squirting each other. Her friends watch, initially unamused, but then intrigued.]

Margo, Nadia, Lainey, & Maddie: "Be right back."

[They leave the booth, and their dates alone, and join in on the condiment fight. Grant comes by with a mop and gets caught in the crossfire, but the girls keep laughing.]

Me: "LYNN CAREFUL A BURGER HEADING STRAIGHT TO YOUR FACE-"

[it hits lynn]

Lynn: dangit