My perception of mass has changed. Yesterday when I was in the shower (Ryo was waiting politely as usual behind the door), I could see water droplets turn crystal and sparkle like diamonds when crashing on the shower floor, before disappearing down the drain. It's beautiful to see. When I look at plain surfaces, I see movement of mass like clouds or watercurrents, constantly moving in harmony. It's not scary, but I know that what I see is due to my bond with Ryo. Seeing the world differently. As if through his eyes. Is that how he sees our world?
Ryo informed me it's time for me to say goodbye to my parents and friends. I'm not ready. I will never be ready. But I don't know how I can force him to stay. I even thought about jumping off a bridge..I feel so hopeless. But I can see Ryo's trembling has worsened and I started sleeping more than 10 hours a day. Clearly, the bond is affecting us both and it's not sustainable.