Chapter 36- Arizona
"after I scanned the crowd, I saw him" I say, I can feel myself start to shake "it was Carlos"
"Carlos, as in Carlos Torres, Callie's dad?" Alex asks, him and I had decided to take the boat out and do some fishing, after the dream I had, Callie didn't want to let me out of her sight, but I think she knew I needed Alex right now. "yeah" I breath out, reeling my line back in, then setting the pole in the boat, I didn't really feel much like fishing, but it was something to get away. Don't get me wrong I love Callie with everything I have, I'd give my life for her, but I felt smothered. "sadly I could see him doing something like that"
"yeah" I say again, then look back at the direction we came from, I know I just admitted I felt smothered, but I missed her. "you wanna head back?" Alex asks, I nod, "we aren't catching anything anyway" I didn't reply, waited for him to reel his line in and I started the motor, and drove us back to the dock. Callie and her mom were sitting on the porch, that looked out over the water, when we returned. "where's the fish?"
"no luck" Alex says walking by them and into the cabin, I take a seat in the vacant chair next to Callie "they weren't biting"
"maybe later" Callie smiles, then leans over placing a kiss on my cheek "are you hungry?" the moment she said hungry, my stomach growled, reminding me I haven't had more than coffee this morning. "I'll take that as a yes" she laughs, kisses me again then stands disappearing into the cabin. I contemplate following her, but end up just sitting there with Lucia.
"how you doing?" she asks
"I'm alright" I say letting out a sigh
"you don't sound alright" she looks over at me, "Calliope told me about the dream"
"hmm" I hum, sitting back in the chair, we're quiet a moment and I say "it felt so real, like" I shake my head "I don't even know how to explain it"
"has Calliope ever told you what I went to college for? Or well started to, until" she shrugs. I rack my brain, then shake my head and mumble out "no"
"I wanted to be a psychologist, or psychiatrist" I nod "I'm good at reading people" she looks me in the eye "and Arizona, there is something inside you, some pain" she pauses "you need to find a way to let that pain go" I let out a long sigh "I wish I knew how"
"well" she moves in her chair "you can start by talking to someone, Callie, your dad, Alex, even me, but I understand if you don't choose me" she lets out a giggle, that sounded a lot like Callie. I nod, taking a deep breath "I had a girlfriend a few years back"
"Joann?" she says, I nod "Callie told me about her"
"did she" I pause, trying to gather enough courage "did she tell you what happened" I look away, but feel Lucia's hand on my arm, her voice was soft and caring, motherlike "she did" now I don't know rather to be upset, or relieved that she knows, it took a lot out of me to tell Alex and my dad. "Callie isn't Joann, she's not going to hurt you"
"I know"
"and she's not going anywhere, that ring on your finger proves it" I look down and see the ring "she really loves me?" my voice is soft, almost about to crack as I said those words, I look up at Lucia, who is smiling "she does, and I've never seen her happier" I let that sink in, as we sit in silence, a cell phone pierces the air. I know it's not mine, I don't even think I brought mine with. Lucia reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone, I see a smile grace her face as she hits the button "hello dear" I try and tune it out, it's none of my business anyway "I am" she says, I go to stand but am held back as Lucia puts her hand on my arm. "she did" she says into the phone, still smiling "ok" she says and hands the phone to me "Aria would like to speak with you" I could tell she was trying not to laugh, I hesitantly take the phone "hello"
"Arizona" the chipper voice says
"eh, yeah"
"congratulations"
"thanks"
"I didn't know Calliope had it in her" I look up at Lucia who is smiling "first the lesbian thing and now this" I didn't know what to say so I sat there listening "look I know my dad is a pain in everyone's ass, with any luck, he'll be gone soon"
"what do you mean?" I was confused, she laughs "once mommy gets the divorce, hopefully he'll leave us all alone"
"oh right" I don't know why but I felt weird talking to her, she sounded a lot like Callie, but I could tell it wasn't Callie. "listen I've made arrangements to come, I can not wait to meet you, and see mommy and Callie again of course"
"oh" I say looking at Lucia, who is enjoying how uncomfortable I am "when you thinking?"
"soon" she says "next week, if you aren't busy"
"we're never busy" I mumble, and see Lucia chuckle
"good to hear" Aria says "can I talk to mommy again? It was great speaking with you"
"ah, yeah, you too" I say and hand the phone to Lucia, she takes it back and starts talking in Spanish. I knew a little bit, but not enough to know what she was saying. Her and Callie always talk in English, maybe that's because I'm around, and I'm too dumb to know what they are saying. I close my eyes, that's the first thing I need to stop doing, stop putting myself down. "that Joann really did a number on you didn't she" I hear Lucia's voice, when I turn to look at her I see her watching me. I just nod not knowing what else to say. She gives me a sad smile, and leans toward me "Arizona, you are an amazing woman, and I know, if you can find someway to let all that pain go, you and Callie will live a happy, healthy life together"
"granted no one tries to shoot either one of us" I mumble
"yeah" she laughs, Callie says something from the kitchen, I look at the door then back at Lucia "should we tell her Aria is coming"
"no" Lucia smiles "let's surprise her" I nod, as the door opens and Callie comes out with a platter full of sandwiches. I watch as she sets them down, and goes to pull another chair closer "Daniel and Alex will be out shortly" she sits down, as I reach for one, my stomach grumbling.