Chapter Three: Deja Vu

Tuesday, October 16, 1990

After several minutes, Sam extricated herself from the embrace. She retrieved the plastic stick from her drawer and placed it into Angela's hands.

"Oh." Angela stared at the test as her pulse began to quicken. She shoved the piece of plastic in her pants pocket and reached for Sam's wrist. "We're going to need more privacy than this." She tugged Sam out of one bedroom, and into another. Locking the door behind them, she drew the girl into the bathroom, swinging that door shut, as well.

"Angela? Are you mad at me?"

"No, honey, I'm not mad at you. I just want to understand." Angela sat Sam down on the edge of the bathtub. A wave of deja vu washed over her. She pulled the test from her pocket and asked "How did this happen?"

"Well, you know, Matt and I were taking things slow, but after you came out to visit...well, I was coming back here, and...you know, it, uh, seemed like we wouldn't have a chance to be together for a long time." She darted her eyes around the room, unable to meet Angela's gaze. "We were careful, mostly, but I guess not careful enough. I was more than a week late, so I decided to drive to Bridgeport to buy a test." Sam trusted that she was safe enough to finally let the truth spill out.

"Oh, Samantha." Angela's tone was somewhere between pitying and disappointed, with a heavy tinge of guilt. Was Sam trying to lay the blame for this on the family? No, her explanation was neutral, Angela decided. She set the pregnancy test down on the counter.

"I know. What am I going to do? My dad is going to kill me!" Sam's heart raced as she imagined her father in an apoplectic state.

"Well, have you told Matt?" Angela wasn't sure how permanent this relationship was, even if there was a pre-engagement in the works.

"No. I don't want to get married now, just because we have to. I want us to be able to plan something really romantic." Sam's face turned dreamy.

"Well, you're going to have to tell him...if you decide to carry this out." Angela sucked in a sharp breath. She was treading on thin ice. "Do you want to have a baby? Next summer, I mean? We would certainly support you, if that's what you wanted to do." She felt out of place speaking for Tony, especially with the delicate state of their friendship. Whatever Sam decided, he was bound to be angry with both women. But at that moment, Angela's maternal instincts were fully engaged. She would do anything to protect her kids—never mind the fact that one of them wasn't really hers—even from their fathers.

Sam broke down in tears again. Angela sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, allowing Sam to gather enough strength to speak. "I really didn't picture becoming a mother for at least ten years. I'm just starting college, and I think I want to go to grad school, too. I can't do any of that with a baby."

"I see. Well you do have some time to figure this out, if it really didn't happen until after our visit." Sam nodded in confirmation. "Why don't I call my OB/GYN in the city tomorrow morning and see if I can get you in to see her ASAP? I'll go with you, and we can discuss all your options. In the mean time, just take care of yourself, ok?"

"Alright," Sam sniffled.

Angela got up and handed her a tissue box. "You know what this reminds me of?"

"The night I got my first period?" Sam asked, hopefully. She wondered if it was a memory she was alone in treasuring.

"Exactly."

"I'm not sure I ever told you how much I appreciated you taking care of me like that. I was so embarrassed, and you were my dad's boss. Well, you're still my dad's boss. But I'm used to you treating me like your own daughter now."

"It was no problem. And I'm really glad we have that kind of relationship now. I was worried I had lost my chance after the whole Michael fiasco." She rolled her eyes. What had ever inspired her to take him back at the expense of Tony and Sam?

"I don't understand. Did you want to have another kid with him? A girl?"

"No, I didn't want another kid with him. I wanted you. Maybe not as a daughter, but as part of my family. I knew back then that I could grow to love you as much as I love Jonathan."

"And my dad?" Sam asked, nervous to hear the response.

"Um, I cared about him, too. A lot, already, by then. I didn't know how much our relationship would change, though."

"He loves you, you know. He may have been temporarily insane for a few months, but I don't think he ever stopped loving you."

"It's complicated. I'm with Andy now. And I was really, really hurt by your father's actions. He's still important to me, but I haven't forgiven him." She was starting to feel emotionally exhausted.

Sam could see that Angela needed to rest. She did, too. She stood and held her arms open to Angela, who immediately accepted the hug.

"Get some rest, honey. You'll figure this out, and I'll be there as much as you want me to be. Nobody else needs to know unless you decide you want them to."