It was a beautiful early spring day for a drive to the cabin. With the early schedule the trio kept, they were able to get on the road by 8AM, armed with coffee and muffins for the two hour drive to the cabin. They'd agreed to stay overnight, mostly so that they didn't have to rush and head back all in one day, but when they coordinated the opening of the road with Lisa's trip to Florida, they only had one day to spend overnight at the cabin. They would return home tomorrow, and Lisa had a flight out early the following morning. Florida would be a week, and she'd be home, Lisa trying to get settled once again with her work schedule. Now, though, it was family time, and both she and Jack were dedicated to enjoying the time they had.
"So," he said reaching across her console from where he was driving, clasping her hand in his, "tell me, how are you feeling about leaving Nora and heading to Florida? I know going to France was really hard, but I also know you're starting to adjust back to whatever normal looks like for us."
She nodded and at the mention of Nora, glanced back to check on her. Nora had been sleeping so far. She was a wonderful baby and didn't fuss much. She seemed to like riding in the car just fine, and this morning was no exception.
"I'm okay with it. I really am. I think it helps knowing you do such a good job with her too, not that I would have ever doubted that," she paused and scrunched up her face. "Actually, I did doubt that you'd want to even be part of this and have her, so I'm sorry about that." Jack squeezed her hand and nodded at her. Lisa continued, "I'm trying really hard to focus on what our life needs to look like. Giving up Fairfield isn't an option. Hovering over her every second of the day isn't an option. We're working to adjust our lives to include her in that, and yes, I can't say I won't miss you both like crazy, but I need to get back to work, not that I really ever could stop," she rolled her eyes. "I enjoy my work, traveling some, but even that, going forward, I'm going to really analyze how much traveling I have to do. There are times I can delegate; I just haven't wanted to do that, but I can. I have a good staff, and most have worked for me for a long time. So, to answer your question, I'm okay about going. I really am," she told him, putting her hand on top of his and squeezing it.
He looked at her with admiration, "I'm glad to hear that. I can see that you are starting to relax more with her and just get back to yourself. That's really great, Lise. I agree-she fits into our family. We don't readjust everything we've ever done to fit into her life, and I think she's fitting really well. You and I have been doing a good job balancing jobs, and yes, that's only going to get harder now with the weather breaking. You know how busy the ranch is from now until almost October, but I'm going to try and do the same. Tim is doing more and more here, and if I have to hire someone," he said with a nod, "I'll find a ranch hand to help. I'm not getting any younger, which is its own problem at the ranch. It's nice to feel we are getting settled into this new routine."
"I realize," Lisa started to say but paused as she eyed Jack and made a face, "that going forward, it might be helpful to put her in some sort of nursery school or part-time daycare, but I am not doing that until she's a little older. I'm firm on that. I will work from home or take her with me if you are busy, but I'm not expecting you to throw her on the back of your saddle," Lisa laughed, covering her mouth as she did. That had Jack laughing too.
"She's too little for anything like that, agreed. You have no arguments from me. Time will fly, though, and I'll be teaching her how to fly fish."
Lisa laughed, grinning at Jack, "Let's focus on improving my skills first. We will need some trips up here this summer so I can get better."
Soon they were pulling into the cabin, and both smiled brightly at the winter sight before them.
"Oh, it just so beautiful here, Jack. I really do love it. I can't believe we've been married now over a year, and this is only my second trip here." The two started to get out of the car, Jack nodding at her.
"Yeah, I know. More trips here, promise. As you said, it's nice to start to settle down now, get back into a routine or rather, create some new routines for all of us. Ahh, Lise, she's sleeping. Want to open up the place first, get her portable crib thing, whatever you called it, set up for her?"
"Yes," Lisa nodded, following Jack to the back of the car where it was packed full just for their overnight trip. They had some supplies to deliver to the cabin too, but they'd commented how much stuff they needed just to take Nora away for the night. "Now, we can't be late for her immunizations tomorrow," Lisa eyed Jack. "I've had trouble getting things scheduled with our busy schedules. She's got a 3:30 appointment in town, and I know," she smiled, gripping his arm, "we both wanted to take her for those first shots."
He nodded, "I'll be packed and ready to go tomorrow by lunch. We can stop on the way back for some lunch, not that there are many options, but that small roadside place on the way is usually good. I took you there, right?"
She nodded too, "Yes, that's fine."
Jack was taking things out of the car and tilted his head at her, "I remember with your travels, and then the storm, all kinds of appointments were moved. We had everything set for that week. Did you reschedule the optometrist for the two of us?"
Lisa nodded, "I did. That's after I get back from Florida. It's on the calendar in the kitchen. You also have your physical end of April, which I know you hate, but you agreed to go."
"What about you?" Jack nodded. "We promised we were going to take care of ourselves, and yes, I agreed to go."
Lisa dropped her head in embarrassment, "You had to ask. I keep meaning to reschedule. I've tried to reschedule. I did have my appointment set for that same week as the optometrist and Nora's appointment, but yes, with all the winter weather, I had to reschedule. I've tried. I did once, so yes, I promise I'll call when I get home."
"Holding you to it," he said, winking at Lisa. Jack took a load of things toward the house, and Lisa's mind started to wander. She had meant to reschedule things and had tried. It somehow was easier to schedule appointments for everyone else rather than herself.
"Lise," Jack called to her, and she snapped out of her thoughts, "where do you want this crib thing?" Lisa grabbed some of their things and followed Jack, looking at Nora, still cozy and sleeping there in her car seat. This was going to be a great trip, and as soon as they got Nora situated, she thought about just sitting on the porch and enjoying the cool, spring air.
It took longer than expected to get unpacked, and they moved things around to put up Nora's travel crib. She woke up too, and after Lisa fed her, while Jack brought up some firewood, Nora seemed to want to go back to sleep. Jack gestured outside.
"I thought I might go down and check things out at the river, make sure no trees came down over the winter."
"I'll stay here," she patted his arm. "Go, and then maybe we can sit outside on the porch." Jack nodded in agreement and kissed her on the cheek before he opened the door and put his coat back on. Lisa grabbed hers and stepped outside to sit on the porch. She watched Jack walk down the pathway until he was out of sight, but then, her mind started to wander again. She pulled out her phone to send a text to Marion.
"Arrived at the cabin. All is well. Say, a question for you-"
"Oh, glad to hear it. I was worried there might be a lot of snow on the road."
"No," Lisa typed, "roads were clear, some snow still here. I'm enjoying the fresh air and sitting on the porch. Jack walked down to check things by the river. Your sister is sleeping."
"Sounds like the perfect morning. It's mild here today, which is nice. Might go for a short ride on the trail with the snow melting here. Oh, you had a question?"
"Yes, ahh, female question," Lisa typed and made a face. She hated having to ask.
"Oh, don't you start on the menopause topic again. I feel like you sent that whole problem to me. I've told you I've been having tons of hot flashes and just well, you didn't ask about that, but thanks a lot for sending that problem my way," she texted with a smiley face. Lisa laughed lightly, nodding.
"Sorry, really not looking forward to that. Maybe go outside with the cool air. Summer with those hot flashes will be terrible. So, yeah, ahh, hate asking this, and I'm aware I should just ask my doctor, but I got to thinking-how long until things return to normal, I mean for me?"
"Wait, what? We're not talking about Dad, are we, please no."
"No!" Lisa typed. "I mean, for me. I refused to read pregnancy books when I was pregnant because it was just too hard. I didn't want to know what could go wrong. I was already thinking that. I failed to really research things about me."
"It really varies. What did your hot doctor say?"
"I haven't gone."
"Lisa! I thought you were supposed to go back in February or something. I was there when he told you to do that."
"I was scheduled but that got cancelled with the snowstorm and my trip home from France. I've tried to go, but then, after playing phone tag, I just got busy. I'll call when I get home and hopefully go when I'm back from Florida, which is why I'm asking you."
"Ahh, it does vary, but sometimes women who breastfeed don't have things start up right away, even up to a year later. I'd ask the hot doctor. Maybe it's kicking you into menopause with me."
"Maybe," Lisa said. "Thanks."
The conversation stopped, and Lisa sat there, thinking about things. She felt fine, good in fact and finally felt like she was getting back to herself, but she did need to make that appointment. Nora started to cry, so she put that out of her mind and stepped back inside to tend to her.
While she was making Nora a bottle, her phone alerted her to another text, and she found Marion texting her again.
"Thanks a lot, Lisa, for those questions with you and Dad on your little getaway. Now I can't get your trip out of my head. It's bad enough Tim has been talking about how excited he is to spend the night here alone because Amy is off with Sorayah, just grinning at me with his thoughts, but thanks-the cabin, again? That's why you two were so giddy about going up there?"
"Sorry, just wondering. Enjoy your evening with Tim."
"Wait, you've waited this long since Nora was born? You really did take that doc seriously and waited a lot longer than I ever would have."
"No, it's not that, no problems there-"
"Okay, nice and personal then, thanks for the intimate details, so just wanted the romantic getaway."
"You asked," Lisa pointed out, typing to her. "Besides, no, we've got Nora here with us. I was just sitting here, relaxing, and my mind was wandering. I realized I do need to see the doctor and need him to answer some questions."
"Okay, well if you want some company when you go see the hot doctor, let me know, but just ask him about what is going on. People really don't realize how pregnancy messes up your body. Tim's here. Gotta go."
"Have a good day and evening. Bye."
Lisa finished making up Nora's bottle and sat there, thinking. She'd somewhat avoided appointments because her mom had been so sick so early, and Lisa was terrified of the same thing happening to her. She'd lost her mom way too early, and truthfully, appointments scared her to death. Then, when she'd had her miscarriages, appointments had given her that level of anxiety, but yes, she'd make hers and make sure nothing was seriously wrong. She wasn't going to leave her little girl. She couldn't. It had hurt so much to lose her mom, and she just couldn't that repeat itself.
Lisa's mind wandered again, somehow landing on a comment Lou had made when the two ladies had their weekend in Toronto.
"I don't know much about babies. I don't remember Amy as a baby, at least anything about taking care of her. I didn't babysit. I didn't know people with babies, except until I graduated. A friend from school, Kellie, got married right away. Gosh, I remember running into her my second year home for Christmas, and I know it was that because she already had two babies with her. It was crazy, and I had lunch with her, but wow, two right in a row-how crazy."
Lisa was now starting to panic and was kicking herself for not at all thinking about this sooner. Why did she have to think about this now, away on a trip? That's how it was though. She was away from the normal things of the day, away from work, but thankfully, her phone had service. She started to do some research, and again, she kicked herself for not knowing this or thinking about it being a possibility. She really was clueless about so much of this because it had hurt too much to even think about it after she and Dan had two miscarriages. They had been given strict instructions from doctors and had followed them, but now, this was almost foreign waters.
"Family planning," her head heard over and over again, the hot doctor, as Marion kept calling him, telling Lisa to talk that over with Jack. She hadn't, but she also thought they had time for that chat, time until she continued reading.
Her eyes widened when she typed in a search and read, "Up to44 women are susceptible to unintended pregnancy…which can occur as early as three weeks after giving birth." Lisa's eyes starting glassing over all the things she was reading. Why hadn't she checked on this? She really hadn't given it a thought, assuming that her body would regulate itself first. She needed Amy's stupid health class. And, she had just dismissed things since because well, she assumed-well, she assumed, which wasn't a good thing for her considering she knew nothing about this. She was older and well, she hadn't thought about it. Anything other than that hadn't even been a thought. She wasn't into mom blogs or magazines. She was a busy horse breeder, which was ironic that she could talk about horse breeding with vets and owners, but she couldn't even bother to deal with her own body.
Lisa put her phone down and started to think. She was fine, but she did need to speak to this doctor and get things figured out. With Nora, she'd felt awful. She felt fine now. With Nora, she'd been so tired. She was fine now, aside from taking care of an infant, but compared to how she felt with Nora, she felt pretty good now. She'd just told Jack she was starting to feel normal. With Nora, she hadn't been able to stand food, most any food. As she thought now, foods were fine, all of them. She was fine, just terrified of what could have been with her stupidity and unawareness. She'd make her appointment, talk to her doctor, come up with some family planning after reading that terrifying article just now. Yes, she'd take care of this appointment right away now after her trip to Florida, maybe after landing and on her way home from the trip to Florida. For now, she'd enjoy the trip to the cabin, and despite what Marion suggested, with Nora there, she'd already told Jack it wouldn't quite be like their last romantic trip they'd spent at the cabin.
"Hey, Lise," she heard from the counter where she had just made up the bottle. Lisa turned and saw Jack there at the door, "Really nice day, if you want to sit outside."
"Let me get Nora and a few blankets," she smiled at him. "She's ready for a bottle, and I'm ready to relax and enjoy our little getaway." Jack nodded and stepped back outside. Lisa grunted to herself, "Family planning." Yes, she and Jack did have something to discuss on this trip, and somehow she didn't think he'd be too excited about her idea of a vasectomy for him. She'd been through the wringer with childbirth. Now, she felt it was his turn. Her tough cowboy could endure this for her. Share the burden, right?