The Taking of the Enterprise part 4
Jamie was sitting beside him on her sofa now, their shoulders touching, fiddling with her sleeves as she spoke.
The tension in the room was palpable, an undercurrent of unspoken thoughts and feelings vibrating just beneath the surface, her eyes filled with a tumult of emotions as they discussed the dark chapter of Starfleet history involving Matthew Garrett.
"I single-handly evacuated nine hundred people by overriding the systems and sending a silent alarm to specific PADDs."
"That is rather ... complex and impressive."
"I just told you I broke Starfleet regulation and all you have to say is that?"
"It was ... against regulations. I would not have done it. But logically it was one way in which to take back control of the ship." Spock found himself saying. "When you got to the back to the bridge, you altered the gravity-"
"Sending all the phasers but mine flying upwards," Jamie nodded, she gritted her teeth together, "I might've told him that my phaser wasn't set to stun for added effect. Got Pike to the med bay, put Scotty in charge of the transporter, and awaited for Admiral Blackwell to arrive on the bridge."
"You did not escort Garrett to the brig?"
"Moving him could cause ... I thought if I did that it could have given him an opportunity in which to overpower me - I wasn't willing to take that risk."
"Did you ever figure out why you couldn't unscramble the jamming signal?"
Jamie huffed, "Remember that day you overheard me with Tormolen? Yeah, I made the same mistake I was looking for a bigger problem that I overlooked a simple one. Garrett used a jamming device every time he altered the records. He didn't jam the signal through the system. I overlooked him using a separate entity. Looking back I think I was hoping that I'd be wrong about him. In the end, his actions spoke for him."
Spock's eyes remained fixed on her, his Vulcan stoicism a stark contrast to the turmoil evident in her expression. "Indeed. Garrett's actions were not only a violation of Starfleet's principles but also a breach of trust that left deep scars on all who were involved."
Jamie's hands trembled slightly as she ran them through her hair, trying to steady herself. "I can't shake the feeling of dread when I think about it. The fear… the betrayal… it's overwhelming."
Spock thinks over all the information Jamie has just told him. "Trust is a fundamental aspect of our operations, Garrett was respected and trusted. If he could betray Pike, what does that say about the rest of the crew? About your ability to trust each other?"
She looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. "I felt so helpless, Spock. And I still can't seem to get past it. It's why I took control of everything I possibly could and now that this recruit ...I really hope Pike is wrong."
Spock moved closer, his presence a calm anchor amidst her emotional storm. He shifted beside her, his hand reaching out but stopping just short of touching her. "I understand your pain, Jamie. The events surrounding Garrett were traumatic for many. Your emotions are a natural response."
She looked at him, searching his eyes for the steady reassurance she always found there. "But you don't feel these things the way I do. How can you understand?"
"While it is true that Vulcans experience and express emotions differently, it does not mean I am devoid of them," Spock replied gently. "I feel concern for you, and I wish to help you navigate these feelings." Spock leaned forward slightly, his gaze softening as he observed her distress. "Jamie, I understand that discussing these events can evoke powerful emotions. It is a burden not easily borne. There was a moment of silence, the air thick with unspoken words. Spock took a deep breath, his voice gentle but firm as he spoke. "Jamie, I wish to assist you in finding some measure of peace. However, I believe in your current emotional state a Vulcan mind-meld is not the most logical solution."
Jamie looked at him, her eyes wide with a mix of hope and fear. "A mind-meld? But I thought those were deeply personal… and potentially overwhelming."
"Indeed, a mind-meld is an intimate connection - It is how ... that particular information is probably best suited for a different night." Spock nodded, his expression calm and reassuring. "I'm thinking that logically I should not have mentioned it to begin with as mind melds need a topic that has caused you to become upset: trust. Trust is not immune to being misplaced. Garrett's actions are an anomaly, not a reflection of your integrity. I can see why you struggled to find a suitable candidate to fill the role of First Officer."
Jamie's hand trembled slightly as she started to run it through her hair. "Any member of my senior staff could have it. The problem was that I needed someone I could be close to like how I am with Scotty and Bones - only neither of them wanted the job. So I started looking. Pike put multiple candidates in my direction, all respectable in their own right, and rule-abiding and I waved them off one by one. They were not good enough, or I didn't get along with them - I had every excuse as to why I didn't like each candidate. I told myself I was doing what was best for my ship. In truth, I think I didn't know if I could let someone else in and be close to me like Bones and Scotty were. Know the real me behind the captaincy - be able to challenge me and the unorthodox methods - be able to console me or see me vulnerable."
Spock recalls Pike's words, "You're exactly what the ship needs." Pike had been sending Jamie in the direction of candidates who had similar attributes to himself. But Spock and Jamie were different. They had the T'hy'la bond.
"I needed you. You made me want to... open up once more. I'm still working on it. A fine line to tread once you are a captain. But I want the people I work with to know the real me again. You should know that I do trust you completely."
"Your trust is a profound honor, Jamie. I shall endeavor to prove myself worthy of it, always, T'hy'la," Spock promised her, kissing her forehead, "taluhk nash-veh k'dular."
A.N. taluhk nash-veh k'dular = I cherish thee