Present
Warp travel -On the next day, Elena received a message from Jae Heydari, who was hoping for some chance to talk to her privately.
" Vigdis, send Mistress Heydari to my office", asked Elena in return.
It wasn't long before her servants ushered in the petulant smuggler. Her brown eyes shone deviously as she took in the room. Elena had taken care to shove all of Theodora's mysterious artifacts in her private chamber, which gave the room a most austere look, yet it was rare to witness so much free space in a ship. Two servo-skulls were floating by, administering reports about the ship, and Janrus got up when he saw Jae come in.
" Lord Captain", he saluted, bowing down to Elena. He left the room with a curious glance to Jae, holding his administrative files tight on his chest.
Jae smiled at him as he brushed by, and then turned flourishly towards Elena. The Rogue Trader seemed tired ; which was strange, considering nothing of interest happened in the last few days of warp travel. Elena lifted her abnormally large black pupils to her. The office was shrouded in dim-light, but that didn't seem to hinder Elena.
" Please, Mistress Heydari, take a seat."
" Oh, shereen. I managed to spark your interest after all !" began Jae, all smiles. She sat down on the chair in front of the desk. " And please, no need to be so formal with me. You can call me Jae."
Elena nodded absent-mindedly. She didn't seem to muster much curiosity for her, to Jae's dismay. She still hadn't found the right angle to pique Elena's interest.
" As you wish. Do you want some recaff, Jae ? I badly need some", said Elena.
" With a touch of whisky in it, then", agreed Jae.
Elena casted her a brief glance, then clicked on her vox : " Vigdis, have my servants bring in some recaff."
" It shall be done, Lord Captain."
Elena leant back on her chair and stretched. Jae couldn't help but eye her elongated silhouette. The smuggler always had an eye for this sort of thing, though the Lord Captain lacked the athletic figure of, let's say, a battle Sister in her eyes.
" So. You said you had a deal for me ?" asked Elena.
Jae laughed, her soft and sultry voice contrasting against Elena's cold and distant tone. " I suppose it could be put this way. To rephrase it, I wanted to discuss with you about a business situation. As you know, I deal in xeno-artefacts. Business is going well, my network is running just fine. However, when it comes to expansion…that's when I hit a wall."
" I think I see where this is going", replied Elena evenly. " You wish to use me ?"
Jae theatrically threw her hands in the air. " Exalted One forfend, could such a lowly servant of the Emperor use the radiant bearer of the Warrant, like some kind of tool ! The other way around, however…" Jae had a small smile. Jae had enough smiles for the both of them and, considering Elena's overall haughty attitude, she was going to need it.
" With a good word from the Rogue Trader to the Adeptus Administratum, I could become an official trade representative. Imagine all the things I could do with a simple scrap of paper ! And the best part is- it will cost you nothing. All you have to do is stop by the the Administratum Palace and obtain a certificate from the Master of Seals. And, of course, I will repay you in kind !"
Elena eyed her pensively. It was hard to guess what she was thinking. Jae was a bit surprised when she simply said : " Fine. I'll help you."
Well, she had expected a bit more negotiating and questioning, but she wasn't going to complain. Jae's smile grew cheerier : " Oh, shereen, may the day we meet be blessed ! And you shall have no complaints about our friendship. I can help you with whatever you need. You merely need to use the right words, like a key to a lock, and I will make people open their hearts to you. Or their wallets. I will arrange everything, you merely have to ask."
That at least gained her some sort of reaction, as a hint of a smile appeared on the Rogue Trader's face. In her chair, Elena crossed her arms.
" Jae, do you know why I recruited you, despite my Seneschal arguing ever since that I should lock you in an airlock and be done with you, my Chief Enginseer complaining to me everyday about your trade and locking the bridge to deck 17 against you, and an agent of the Inquisition on my back who keeps asking me why I tolerate your presence aboard and if he may be allowed to interrogate you further on your…activities ?"
Jae's smile froze in place. Of course, not everyone in the retinue looked at her with sympathy. Well, to be frank, no one did at all, even the little Idira who was by all definitions the actual black duck of the group. An awful lot of them were arrogant sticks in the mud, especially the Tech Priest that she barely could stand. The others were, like the divine Argenta, simply too caught up in their important quests to care about one so basic as Jae.
" It is because of one thing and one thing only", Elena continued. " It so happens that I don't understand a thing about commerce. The honorable Janrus keeps trying to teach me the art of economy and trade, of course, but my personal craft deals much more with blood and corpses than the delicate art of placing the right price on an object. Furthermore, it so happens that I'm short of a crucial role in my retinue, and that would be the function of Master of Whisper. As you know, the last one tried to murder me and maimed the ship and the dynasty cruelly. Now I have a traitor running around in the system unchecked, and no one in this damned ship can tell me where is his network and his agents, and what to do with them, not even my Seneschal - I suppose trading in these matters is too lowly for him."
Elena's black eyes focused on Jae. She took a sip of her recaff, which seemed to make her cheerier by the second. Jae wasn't sure she liked the lively version of Elena. The distant version was much better at not complicating things.
" So, in a nutshell, Jae, here's what you're going to do for me, and I'll be assessing your overall usefulness to me in regard to these objectives : I need you to handle every trade negotiations that should appeal to my interests, for one ; I want you to dig underground to uncover the late Master of Whispers's network, and I want you to cleanse it and replace it with loyal agents of the true von Valancius heir. If you do that, Jae, and you do it well, not only will you have your scrap of paper from the Administratum, but I will elevate you to a place you have never dreamed of before and see to it that your future is made only of the brighter gold. The Kasballicah, your trade in xeno-artefacts - they do not interest me. What I'm interested in is your strength of character and your audacity. I'm led to believe that it's not just anyone who could have survived Footfall and Vladaym's machinations, and that you have a high sense of opportunity. Am I right in these assumptions or should I reconsider my prime assessment of your nature ?"
Jae stood motionless for a few seconds, as Elena took another sip of her recaff. Finally, the dramatical smile was back again on her face : " Shereen, you are very generous and charitable towards a simple servant of the Imperium. Like I said, you have to say but a word. The path you want from me is clear. I shall not disappoint you."
Elena's own smile was cold. " Indeed, you better not, for I shall cast you down just as easily as I'm going to lift you up."
Jae's tension rose slightly at the barely veiled threat. She now knew that Elena was no friend of hers. Just like everyone else in this universe, she just pursued her own interests. Her apparent benevolent behavior hid a cunning and devious mind…but then, she was a Rogue Trader. And Jae would indeed never cast away such a juicy opportunity, no matter the risk.
" Shereen, you will find in me nothing but the bestest of friends, if I dare say so", replied Jae with an unwavering smile. " I shall begin on my tasks right away and report to you on whatever I can discover over Voigtvir's network."
Elena nodded. " Another thing, before you go, Jae." She looked pensive once again, as her gaze rolled over Jae's face. " As you know, I was born with the ability to grasp the future and the past, and, when I met you, I had an intuition that caught my curiosity. When you answer me, please keep in mind what I just told you and that I can indeed pierce the veil of time. How are you related to a man named Orlon exactly ?"
Jae's heart missed a beat. She grew tense and cold in her seat. Her voice grew raspy as she answered : " I…how do you know about him ?"
Elena's hands dismissed her question. " I am pretty much certain that I am the one asking the questions here."
Jae's throat grew dry. Damned psykers. They were never a good sign. But at least most of them didn't have visions of her past.
The smuggler decided it best to go for the truth. She felt she would not elude Elena's attention otherwise. " I wasn't all my life the petulant and honorable Cold Trader you see before you, shereen." Her voice grew grave and melancholic. " I enrolled in the Imperial Guard in my youth, in order to escape from a life I did not choose. Orlon was my brother and he had enrolled prior to me. When I took up the guardswoman armor, it was to benefit from his protection. A real poster boy, brave and heroic. I…took advantage of his niceness. That's all there is to it. You should know that I deserted after a few years, but…obviously, no one else should know that."
Something Jae said soured Elena's expression. " I see", she said harshly. " Your brother", she repeated, and that seemed to trouble her.
Jae could only wonder how the Rogue Trader seemed to personally know about Orlon. She had heard from Idira that she used to be in the Imperial Guard, which was one of the reasons why Jae didn't want to approach the subject of her past at all. But how could you hide from someone who saw your past and future ? It was uncanny and unsettling.
" Thank you, Jae, for offering me your services' ', Elena finally said, her fingers tapping over her desk. " I shall see to your needs once we reach Dargonus."
Jae nodded, happy that this awkward conversation was over. She felt a bit shaken that her secret had been outed at the first real meeting with Elena. Did that sort of thing also happen to the others ?
Jae bowed respectfully, hiding her uncomfort, and exited the room.
Elena watched her go. When the smuggler was out, she murmured to herself : " I guess I can see the likeness now."
Glimpse of the past
– Early adulthood, Imperial Guard days -
The commissar welcomed her coldly as she exited the shuttle. His harsh eyes roamed over her tall, lanky frame. It was night on the planetside. The air was clammy, making her sweat profusely. That, and she had trouble adjusting to gravity. She compensated for her lack of toughness by stubbornness and meanness.
" Welcome to the death world, specialist Martyr", said the man. He was small and sturdy, cladded in neat commissar clothes. His eyes were a deep, muted green, contrasting against the grayness of his hair and wrinkles. He had a sword hanging from his belt and a gun on his side. " Let's not waste time, your first mission is already assigned and your team is getting ready to go." He smiled, but there was no warmth in his eyes. " You shall forgive me for this lack of proper introduction, for His work needs to be done."
The young psyker, looking a bit gauche in her new suit armor, bowed her head : " I hear and obey. Lead me to the ones I have to accompany."
The commissar chuckled. " Maria's pups are always so polite. Come, specialist."
She followed the man inside the regiment encampment. Thousands of men were busy gathering their equipment. The agitation was swarming over the place. They passed by an infirmary. She caught a glimpse of various cripples laying in mattresses on the ground.
The commissar led here to a squad, recognizable by the same uniform and the number "41". And, in this squad, to an even smaller team, who was getting ready to climb into a Salamander Scout. The light tank, made for reconnaissance, was being checked by a tall voidborn soldier, with mechanical tools hanging from his backpack and belt. The group, made up of ten people, was made of scouts, equipped with light weapons and armors, their backpacks filled with enough survival materials to survive autonomously for a month. Elena guessed that they were going to head inside the jungle, probably to lead some sabotage and guerrilla actions against the enemies' positions.
As the commissar approached, everyone stood to attention and saluted. A young, tall man, with brown skin and dark, curly hair, made a step forward. " The Emperor protects, commissar !" He had chiseled cheekbones and warm eyes, and had a sniper rifle on his back.
Elena had never seen someone so beautiful. If you tried to close your eyes and imagine a fairytale hero, you would probably end up with a picture similar to him. His handsomeness was completely out-of-place in the environment, a bit risible even.
" Corporal Orlon, here is the new addition to your scouting party I've told you about. Specialist Martyr will be with you on your next assignment and see to it that you succeed. You shall treat the specialist with the utmost respect."
The corporal's eyes cautiously glanced at her. She stood tall, impassible, looking at the men she was going to spend the next month with. They looked wary. She supposed they weren't pleased to find themselves with a junior battle-psyker.
She didn't care about their feelings. She needed to prove her worth, and their approval had no importance in that regard.
" Of course, Commissar. Specialist Martyr, let me welcome you into our scouting team and thank you for your assistance", replied the corporal steadily.
He didn't look just as defiant than the others. Maybe he was a bit more educated than most.
The commissar, reaching to the conclusion that he'd done his part by welcoming her, left them to it and Elena, wordlessly, reached for the supplementary backpack that had been prepared for her. She tried not to flinch when the weight dragged her down and hopped into the Salamander. The few men already inside gathered together, leaving her a most comfortable place in the tiny, crowded machine. The voidborn mechanic followed her, barely looked at her, and made straight for the command. The others followed, but, as no one wished to come near her, she found herself in a comfortable spot as everyone else huddled together awkwardly.
The corporal made a show of sitting next to her. As the machine started moving around, he offered :
" Do you need some briefing upon the mission ?"
" No need. I already know what's to come", she replied evenly.
" Err. As you wish", replied the corporal, a bit fazed by her wording and way of speaking.
The young woman ignored his presence. She pressed her head into the steel wall of the tank, the sounds of the machinery comforting her, and closed her eyes, focusing on her precognition. After all, she was here to make this sabotage mission succeed. She might as well focus on work. There wasn't much else of interest anyway.
—-
She was walking in the jungle. She's lost track of time ever since they left the Salamander. The backpack kept weighing her down, and she was having trouble adjusting to the gravity. Her psyker staff kept getting entangled in vines or roots, and her force sword felt heavy on her hips. During the days, the sun burnt her eyes and face. During the night, various insects unleashed upon her flesh, and the cold was making her shiver.
Mostly, she kept to herself. No one wanted to speak to her anyway. Her awareness was good enough for her to pick up on bits of conversation amongst the other scouts and soldiers.
"...I heard their battle-psyker just exploded…took half of the squad with him too…"
" ..don't they have more tubes in their head ?"
" Damn , in between his demotion and this, they're really making Orlon pay for her desertion…"
" ..you know what they say, if they send the battle-psyker with you, then you're on a suicide mission…"
She didn't think that guardsmen would be so chatty, but damn, they were always chattering between themselves. At least it passed the time, because nothing of interest happened. They got deeper and deeper into the jungle. The planet being a death world, it meant that the vegetation itself was actively trying to kill them. But aside from that, they found no traces of their enemies. It could be days before they reached their target.
She endured stoically.
After the first week, the voidborn mechanic went to see her. He marched by her side for a while, ruminating, and then said quietly, his voice gruff and using clanic slang she hadn't heard since her childhood :
" First time being around crustrunners ?" he said.
Crustrunners. Planet people.
" Not exactly. First time under the sun, though."
The mechanic snorted. " Yeah, I've seen that. Look, here's the thing. During the day, you make yourself a pretty shawl with a chiffon or something else. Protects your eyes, protects your skin. Else you go all reddish like sunsuckers. Don't want that."
Elena observed the mechanic. " Thanks. Why are you helping me ?"
"Not out of the goodness of my ol' heart, darvita, I can say that." Darvita was the slang for a voidborn of another ship. He tilted his head towards the Corporal. " Chief's looking out for you. Just do like I said, right. In a few months you'll adapt."
Monthes ? Uncontrollably, the young woman's eyes widened. The idea of having trouble breathing and moving around for whole months was…incapacitating.
The mechanic trotted away, his task done. After a few seconds of reflection, Elena followed his advice and made a shawl for herself by recovering the fabric tied elegantly to her psyker staff.
—-
Finally, after weeks in the jungle, they reached the enemy's position. The rebels had broken free of the Imperium rule, and were serving their rogue Lord Governor. The death world inhabitants had established one of their fortresses in the deep of the jungle. Their mission was to eliminate the Governor, who was supposedly hiding in the fortress.
Orlon made them scout and observe the fortress for two days, and decided to try to break in on the second night. Elena used this time to scout around as well and focused on her precognition abilities to weigh in on the plan, giving numerous pieces of advice about how to proceed. She could tell the squad had trouble believing in her divination, but despite their wariness, Orlon supported her decisions.
Elena determined when best to strike by studying the regularities of the shifts and assessing when they would be the weakest. The squad team was mainly made up of sharpshooters and a few grenadiers. Orlon took her to the side the night of the assault.
" Specialist Martyr, I have to ask : I see you're equipped with the traditional staff and sword befitting your rank, but do you intend to jump into the fray and into the melee ?"
" These are my reglementary weapons, Corporal", she replied in a stiff and strained voice. The fact that her damned staff kept hindering her and that she had always been bad at swordsmanship would not stop her from using them.
" Our tactics rely heavily on firearms, and specifically, on long distance ones. Maybe I could convince you to take one of our weapons instead ?"
Elena supposed that, as the leader of the squad, Orlon could only see the risk of having one sole element like her stand alone in the melee. It was a reasonable demand, but the young woman was not reasonable. She lifted her chin, glaring at him.
" And dishonor myself with your crude weapons ? Certainly not. My talents are sufficient enough without having to resort to basic ballistic skills." She pursed her lips in disdain.
" As you wish, specialist. Should you ever change your mind, I'll have equipment reserved for you", said Orlon, seemingly indifferent to her haughtiness.
His niceness was getting on her nerves. She glared at him harder and was surprised that he reacted with a brief smile. He turned back.
They launched the assault during the night. With Elena's guidance, the sharpshooter found their targets easily in the dark and took them by surprise.
Elena waited for a while for them to clean up the place, and jumped out of her hidden place when she deemed it necessary and into the ranks of their enemies. She noticed that her sudden movement surprised the rest of the squad and disrupted their tactics, but she ignored it. The rebels turned towards her, their guns blazing, and were met with a cold and icy smile as the psyker unleashed her powers on them. Fire engulfed her lanky shape as she projected the first wave of men over the fortress walls with telekinesis ; just as easily, she tapped into her will to let a fire aura surround her, burning everyone that came too close to a crisp. She didn't worry much about the riflemen, as the sharpshooters behind her would sweep them away. Calculating her strikes, she emptied the bridge and landed behind the main door, activating it easily.
The squad was free to roam in. The fortress was theirs now. All it took was a bit of smartness and an awful lot of fire, both things Elena could provide when necessary.
—
Another year, another mission. The commissar would often pair her up with Orlon's squad, now promoted to Sergeant after his squad managed to kill the rebel Lord Governor on its own. Her diviner aptitudes meddled well with scouting and precise eliminations. And, if need be, she could hold her own in a battle without missing a heartbeat.
She was with Orlon's squad again. They were in a drop-ship, and they had been waiting there for twelve hours. The young woman tightened her helmet and her crude breathing mask once more over her face, sweating profusely beneath her specialist armor, adorned with neuro-active wiring designed to bleed away excessive warp energies. There were thousands of men besides her, all cramped up in the massive dropship. Even with so little space available, the closer guardsmen were trying to avoid any direct contact with her. They'd been waiting to reach the LZ for a while now and the mixture of annoyance, fear, and anger was quickly warming up the temperature. She felt dizzy already. And she wanted to pee. Basic bodily functions were really annoying.
This time, the mission didn't involve much brainy attitude. It was simple : land, survive, and kill. The regiment had been displaced in an emergency to fight back over a world taken over by cultists and heretics. The Imperium needed them there, and they obeyed, though most would be mowed down by the defenses of the heretics before landing.
Orlon stood on her left, the rest of the squad with him, and she was his right arm, she supposed. The commissar was somewhere in the front, making a speech to the junior officers.
Noticing her unrest, Orlon tilted his head and whispered :
" First time ever air-dropping ?"
She grimaced in annoyance. She hated it when Orlon or the squad picked up on her flaws. Of course it was her first time jumping from a damn drop ship into the ground. No one in their right mind would do that voluntarily. But then, in the Imperial Guard, if you survived long enough, you just became another flavor of mad completely. In between the young ones pissing themselves in fear and the veterans boasting about their new, suicidal way of approaching the battle, Elena didn't quite know which attitude to adopt.
" Can't say I had the pleasure before", she replied.
Orlon smiled. He smiled easily. And he was always calm, appeasing. Soothing. Like water.
" It's one of my favorite things. They open the big door over there - and we jump. The jetpack does the rest of the trick, assuming you've been given a functioning one. Otherwise, you kind of just jump to your death. Which is, when you think of it, what we all do in the long run."
" I hope you are not trying to scare me with these tales and rumors."
" I would not dare to ! However, the rest of the squad is terrified. Last drop, three of my men just crushed head first into the ground. Yvan, the mechanic, keeps telling everyone it's because of the faulty equipment. We can't say it too loud, though."
Elena glanced at the rest of the men. No one was really looking their best right now. It comforted her. None would notice much of her own anxiety, then.
" If the need arises, I'll save your men, don't worry", she replied confidently.
Orlon smiled. " On operations like these, we usually lose 90% of the men. Do you really think you can do something against the cruel algorithm of war ?"
" The ones under my supervision will be fine, I assure you."
The whirring changed, somehow, and the anxiety creeped back in. The conversation had made it back away, but now it was growing again. She remembered the simple focus exercise she'd been taught on the Black Ship and applied the technique to her mind, easing away the tension that was now rolling over the thousand of men.
" Ah" said the Sergeant. " Here we go. I'll take the bet, specialist. If you're true to your words, I'll buy a drink."
The door opened, and they jumped.
—-
Another year, another set of defeats and victories, but mostly, survival.
She wasn't a young girl fresh out of Scholastica Psykana anymore. She had managed not to blow up, which was the one thing everyone wanted from her. From time to time, she met with other battle-psykers. There were often one for a whole regiment, so it mainly happened when they were on battle operations. They would always acknowledge each other's presence with respect and a hint of curiosity : after all, their lives were very lonely, but so it was supposed to be. She shone best in assassination missions anyway.
She had gained the trust of the squad, mainly because she had often saved their lives. Not everyone survived, though, but her diviner gifts gained her a reputation of lucky charm. When once people were wary and frightened of her, they now welcomed her assignment with relief, knowing she had a history of bringing people back - which was highly unusual in the Imperial Guard, and gained her the continuous distrust of the senior officers. In time, she had even agreed to learn how to use a rifle, and had switched her encumbering, beautiful psychic staff for precise weapons. It turned out not every thing had to be flamed down or force-projected to annihilation : a quick firing burst would accomplish the same thing with far less chance of any collateral damage and risks of inducing a peril of the warp. Orlon had taught her, of course, him being the elite sniper of the squad. There was even talk that his exceptional marksman abilities and assassination scores had been noticed by the hierarchy, and that he may benefit from a higher ranking education.
She had no news of Maria. After years and years of training, Maria seemed to have forgotten her completely. Elena knew it was wrong, knew that Maria never did anything rash or wasted resources, and yet she couldn't shake the feeling of being abandoned by the woman she wanted to impress. Marie was the closest thing to a mother she had. After all, wasn't the purpose of a mother to educate and shape her child to face her future duties ? She longed for the desire to see her again, to obtain her approval, a sign of love even, perhaps, after all this time. But nothing ever happened except war, endless wars. She resented herself for still thinking about her, still wanting to please her.
She circled the camp, entered a tavern, climbed up the stairs, and entered a random room. She knew no one had noticed her presence : she'd walked by so quickly and so assuredly, and, with her helmet and armor, she looked just like everyone else. She'd learnt how to appear more humane, more normal.
She turned her head to Orlon, who was waiting for her inside.
" How long till the next shift notices our absence ?" he asked, stepping forward.
" Eight minutes and a half."
" Damn. That's too short." He looked at her with regrets.
" There's never enough time", she confirmed, already unbuckling her chestplate.
" I hate this."
" I know", she said. "Now get undressed. Clock is ticking."
Eight minutes was really an awful short time to be together.
—-
The thing with Orlon Heydari was that he was brave and heroic. His charisma rubbed off on people, and, when once spent too much time around it, one could get ideas. He was one of those types of people that made others better. It was someone you'd look up to, get inspired from, and then you caught a bullet in the head while charging heroically on the frontline.
In a reasonable world, Orlon would have never made it past the first few years in the Imperial Guard. His competencies were outbalanced by his benevolent tendencies, which pushed him to take risks to save people's lives. For a long time, Elena's presence delayed the inevitable consequences.
Until, one day, their relationship broke.
It was because of those kids Orlon had insisted on saving. They were not part of the mission. The briefing had been clear : they were to kill all the mutineers and the rebels. But Orlon had decided that the children they'd pick up were innocent and should be brought back to the orphanage.
Elena had disagreed with this from the start. What if the kids bore the mark of chaos, just as their parents did ? Wasn't crime hereditary after all, or so she'd been told abundantly ?
The commissar had asked for a debrief about the mission, like he always did, and Elena always complied. Battle-psyker could survive and even thrive in the Guard - on the condition they had no secrets, no privacy, and no personal qualms to anything. Such was her way of life.
When she told the commissar about the children - she had to, to confess this mistake, to repair Orlon's fault- , the green-eyed man grew cold and made a few annotations on his file.
" Why didn't you eliminate the targets, specialist ?" he asked.
She stayed silent for a while. She hadn't found the inner strength to oppose Orlon. But she couldn't say that. " I…thought they were innocent."
The commissar snorted. " The naivety of youth", he commented. His grizzled face showed traces of amusement. " You should not even be considering this. Does it matter if they are, per your claim, "innocent" ?"
" …No."
" No, it doesn't matter, specialist. What matters is that your team was given an order, and you failed to execute it."
Elena blanched.
The man chuckled. " You "thought." I'm not asking you to think, specialist. I'm asking you to do as you're told. Normally, I should punish you for this ... .but let it be known that I am a most generous man." Another predatory smile. " You're Maria's little underdog after all, and it is my duty to guide you away from the vagrancies of youth to the dutifulness of adulthood. I wouldn't want to make your mistress angry. You're all so proper and well trained after all…you just need a little reminder."
He put his arms on his desk and bent forward, leaning over Elena's face.
" You, psyker, are a tool. A weapon. You do not have "thoughts." You do not ask yourself questions. You do not have feelings. You hear and obey. Does a rifle talk back to its master ?"
Elena shook her head, feeling mortified and humiliated. Of course, she knew it could be much worse. For instance, the commissar could put a bullet in her head if he felt like it. Or he could disown her. She could not fathom a worse fate than losing her title ; only death in battle could repair the horror of it.
" Now, now. You're such a young one, but you'll learn. You know what you have to do now."
" Yes. It won't happen again."
Chuckles. " They all say that, specialist. Now, I'll be keeping close tabs on you. As for your sergeant…it would be a shame to waste such a talent. I'll find something to exploit his usefulness while teaching him a lesson or two. Now, go, and fix this mess."
Her heart beating with a strange, new feeling - regrets ? remorse ? what even was that ? - Elena left the room like a ghost.
She found the orphanage they had left the children in, and, in the night, made her way up the stairs. The soothing sounds of quiet, even breathings sounded like drums in her ears.
What would it be ? She wasn't going to burn them all. That would impair the orphanage and there could be collateral damage. And it wasn"t exactly discreet. Stab them to death in their sleep ? They were many, that was bound to attract attention.
Telekinesis then ? They weren't that heavy after all. All it would take was a bit of concentration…and a blink of an eye.
She had never been maternal nor especially sympathetic towards her victims before. But the sound of the dozens of bones snapping at once, necks turned in unnatural angles, lingered in her mind and in her soul and found a special place inside her memories. Elena knew then, with acute certainty, that something had changed inside her. Where there once was certainty, firmness of belief, there would now be a weakness hidden within, born from the snapping of little bones. And it was all because of Orlon's fault. His kindness, his way of thinking out of the box had twisted her and planted inside her mind the seeds of doubts.
Her love turned to despair and hate. Yes, it must be his fault, because the alternative was that it was hers and it was unfathomable and unbearable. She'd been tested and trained for the status of battle-psyker ; Maria had seen to it that she was tortured, battered, deprived, her mind violated by other telepaths, her soul examined by dozens of older psykers for them to attest that she was worthy of her trust. Orlon had made her soft and weak, and she had lost her worth. No one could ever know this ; Maria would rather kill her than bear to let a weak pup live.
She exited the orphanage and, because the commissar had a sense for theatrics, faced the sergeant outside of it, in between two heavily armed guardsmen. Besides him stood the commissar, always smiling.
Her eyes met her old lover's ones. He'd been stripped of his medals and rank, and wore the outfit of a conscript. She knew what it meant : certain death on the worst missions possible, sent to face only the cruelest and most twisted of Humanity's enemies. But she understood that it wasn't his fate that grieved him : her betrayal had hurt him. She had caused his fall from grace and had killed the ones he'd swear to protect. That, a man with the sense of honor and heroism of Orlon could never forget. At least, he looked at her, not with kindness and love, but with sorrow, incomprehension and anger.
Elena's heart missed a few beats in her chest, but she tried not to show any reactions. She knew the commissar was eyeing her closely. She lifted her chin and smoothed away the feelings, staying cold and distant. The two guards gripped Orlon's arms ungently and he disappeared out of her life and on to meet with his death, just like that. Without a word. Death just came so easily around here.
Surely doing the right thing ought not feel so wrong.
The commissar greeted her back without formalities. " The Sarge here has been complicit in an old case of desertion. Protected his sister. I've been waiting for him to slip ever since. Betrayal always grows from the most discreet seeds, once step at the time. Ah, don't you worry, specialist. Where I'm sending him, he might still be useful to the Imperium. And if he survives that, I know a place where he'll fit right in, once his quirks have been broken down - ever heard of Vindicare? I suppose you wouldn't and better not. Now, now, specialist, I guess it's time to move away from your traditional missions. Scouting is nice and fun after all, but it is high time you get your first command and move to real battlefields. The Emperor protects, Elena Martyr !"
—-
True to his words, the commissar had arranged for her to get promoted and lead a section on advanced battlefields.
Scouting and assassinations were over. She used to have to think and etch plans, but now her days and nights were spent in killing and killing and surviving. There was only one way forward : foregoing hope and embracing a special kind of madness that some called bravery, but which was, in truth, just the pursuit of a glorious death.
Until one day, she looked up to the stars and knew with utter certainty that someone was coming for her from above.
Which could have sounded like some sort of fairytale, if that someone wasn't Kunrad Voigtvir.
—-
" Shit", said Elena, coming back from this long tunnel of remembrances. She made her servant, who was discreetly bringing back her recaff cup, jump in surprise and spilled the drink on the ground.
The boy knelt down and begged for her forgiveness, which annoyed her profoundly. She waved him away as he thanked her profusely for her mercy.
She hadn't anticipated that Jae was Orlon's sister. Of course, her vision had hinted at it…but that was some big history here. One day or the other, she would have to tell her what became of his brother. But right now, she could not picture herself confessing to her newly recruited trade representative and perhaps future Master of Whispers that she'd had a secret affair with her brother, snitched him out to the local commissar, and condemned him to death. There was no way Jae would take the news lightly…and she could not keep it a secret for too long either.
Well, that was a problem for another day.
And surely she could be allowed some little secrets, considering the amounts of those her retinue kept from her.
Her vox clicked. Cassia's voice.
" Lord Captain. I'm reporting for the day."
Cassia had set up these little rendez-vous on her own. Elena decided it best not to tell her about what Abelard had revealed to her for now. She would wait for them to be out of the warp. After all, Cassia needed her whole wits to guide them, and she could not have her Navigator be unsettled in such a delicate time.
" Lady Cassia." She had regained her composure and cold voice. " I'm listening."