– Present –

– Dargonus –

Heinrix's point of view -

It was late into the night and it had been a pretty uneventful day until Heinrix found himself back in the bed of the Rogue Trader.

He had wished for these encounters to remain discreet, which made it all the more difficult to actually resist them. As he looked over the ceiling of Elena's bedroom, taking in the various details of the luxurious decoration that was so unlike her, he wondered again what in the void came over his head the day he had kissed her. If only she wasn't so…so…well, so her. Ever since, things have grown more and more complicated.

Elena laid on her side on the other side of the bed. He turned to watch her naked back. Once again, he wondered if this was all real. He could not quite believe it was. It was impossible. She could not be here, so welcoming, so complementary, and so close. He had merely but to raise his arm to touch her. And she let him.

Impossible, that's what it was. How could Elena even fathom any sort of interest in someone like him ? Any second now, the charm would fall away and the harsh reality would be revealed to him. The words of Werserian came back to his mind, haunting him. The more he refused to feel this sentimentality buried deep inside him, the more it spread infectiously through his thoughts. The man laying with the Rogue Trader could not be the same man he had grown to become over the past decades. There was an essential dichotomy there. And yet…it was.

He couldn't resist. He extended his arm, touching her skin. She was so pale. Yet her skin was barred with scars and sanctioning runes. So many of them. Though she had her neural implants obviously removed, she carried many spinal ones along her vertebrae - that's why she was so stiff all the time. She mentioned it helped with enduring gravity as well. He never would have guessed. Her face, though, was very well preserved. She had told him that when she divined any oncoming attack, she'd always make sure to prioritize protecting her face. She was more self-conscious than she let on.

Her slow breathings, through her abnormally elongated and thin rib cage, accelerated a little at his touch. He noticed all these things easily. It was disturbing how the skills he acquired via interrogating so-called innocents now helped him pierce Elena's physiological secrets. She was always so secretive - yet her body talked for her more than she probably knew.

He absent-mindedly traced an old scar of hers. Plasma scar ; the flesh was still white and bruised up even after years of repair. She shivered under his fingers. In response, he felt a familiar warmth grow in his stomach.

After a few seconds, Elena prudishly grabbed at the sheet and covered herself up, rolling into her back. She turned her face away from him, as in embarrassment.

" I suppose that I must look…unusual to you", she said. Her eyes darted to his. " I know my void clan marks are judged repulsive by people with your upbringing. And I can't say my years in the Imperial Guard have been easy on me. "

Heinrix considered her face in bewilderment. Of all the things to come to pass, he had not expected Elena to show some inkling of self-doubt about her appearance to him. She was always so assertive. Come to think of it, he realized he had never complimented her in a kind way before. The only time he'd ever mention her physique was to comment upon how terrible she looked. He felt a pang of shame at that realization. Truly he was bad at this. Whatever this was. Like, really, really bad. But it wasn't his usual job to make people feel good around him. He had been trained all his life to do the exact opposite.

Heinrix sighed. " Elena, no. This isn't what I was thinking about." Leaning on his elbow, he lifted himself up and gestured for Elena to come closer. " Come. You are too far away from me as it is."

That brought a teasing smile on her lips. Gracefully, she coiled up into his arms and rested her chin over his torso, looking at him. He admired the agility and eeriness of her movements, always so precise and swift. He stared back into those dark, mutated, large-pupiled eyes, framed by the curtains of her pale hair. The feeling of uncanniness clutched at his heart once more.

It could not be real. It could not last.

" You look…exquisite", he said, feeling a bit clumsy and risible as he searched for the right word in his mind. But his efforts at comforting her doubts seem to work as she relaxed a bit in his arms. That made the warmth glow again in his torso. He added : " If you could see me the way I would look without my biomancy powers…" he chuckled ironically to himself. " Well, I suppose you wouldn't have looked at me at all. I'd be a maimed freak by now. "

Before his recent adventure with the Rogue Trader, he didn't care to think much about his past at all. It meant nothing - he had nowhere to go but forward, nothing to do but to comply with his next mission. And he did so dutifully and methodically.

So it was a surprise to him that the words he just stuttered rang so true and genuine to his ears. He thought back in an instant about the various, excruciatingly painful experiences he had survived through - no normal human could have gone through that and lived.

Thinking about that caused him to feel a surge of nervousness - something that had never happened to him before. He didn't realize that one of the muscles in his face twitched in response.

The coldness of Elena's hand to his cheek broke him out of his memories.

" Don't be daft. You'll always capture my attention, no matter the circumstances. I'm just jealous I can't hide my scars as well as you do. "

He focused back on her moon-lighted face and allowed himself a smile.

" Don't be. They're part of who you are. And I find you, the whole of you, alluring. " He closed his eyes for a second, taking in her scent and her touch. He felt a ripple in her own body as he said these words, as she moved ever so slightly - he felt conscious of every part of him her skin touched. Before he could quite stop the words out of his mouth, he said : " I am sorry. It has been a very long time since I have been…intimate with anyone. I mean…I have been with men and women as part of my missions...but not of my own choice. I may need some time to adjust to this. "

Why did he say that ? he wondered, feeling confused and perplexed at his own stupidity. He was so useless.

Elena raised an eyebrow, considering him gravely as she understood the underlying meaning of it. He didn't know why he had told her that and felt his heart rate fastened a little at her reaction. " It has been some time for me as well", she tactfully replied. " Take all the time you need. I am glad you're here. "

The warmth inside him burnt just a little brighter, just a little stronger. He passed a hand through her long, blonde hair, fascinated.

How long could this last exactly ? Not much.

He knew for a time now that Xavier was going to assist unattended to the inauguration ceremony of the Rogue Trader. It raised so many questions for him. What would his mentor wish to do with him ? Was it one of the last times he saw Elena ? Could any harm come to her ? How was she going to react ?

Just as there were many things he didn't share with Elena, he knew by her secretive attitude that she hid things from him too. So many unsaid things between them, driving them apart even now.

Reflexively, almost unwillingly, he clinged tighter to Elena's body, pressing her against him possessively. She was going to slip away through his fingers like running water, that was for sure.

Nothing good could come out of him, had said Werserian ; but the other way around was true as well. Nothing as good as that could come to him. It was unthinkable.

He hoped that holding her close could bring him relief, but it only aggravated his hidden anguish.

Elena coiled her head up his shoulders, her own arms embracing him back, and whispered in his ear soothingly : " I'm not going anywhere, van Calox. I'm right here beside you. "

That she pinpointed his feelings with her acute awareness never ceased to amaze him, though he wasn't at his best right now. What could he say, he was being distracted.

He hummed, resting his cheek over her hair. " You're lying, von Valancius. Part of your mind is always somewhere else. Some time else. You're never completely there. " He corrected himself, referring to her divination abilities. Everyone on the crew had noticed a growing amount of distance and secrecy from the Lord Captain lately, as well as increasing visions. Elena could not hide all those signs from him - he picked upon it naturally. He knew she was hiding something.

She stayed silent for a while, turning her face away from him. But he could feel the tension and the hesitation in her back muscles, as she turned over a dilemma in her mind.

Just as he turned his own secrets in his own mind in endless circles. Suddenly the frustration he felt at not being able to break through to Elena took a hold on him, and he found himself saying :

" Elena, I must warn you of something that you should not disclose. I have news that the Lord Inquisitor is planning to pay you a visit shortly."

He was surprised he even said that. If Xavier learnt about this…well, it couldn't be good.

Elena slid out of his arms, back to her side of the bed, turning her back to him. She straightened - taking on her "business" attitude.

" Thank you for telling me ", she finally said after pondering the information, her voice neutral.

Heinrix leant back over the wall, considering her.

" This won't be an interrogation nor a trial, Elena", he tried to tell her. " Though it might be…well. You have been to Scholastia Psykana. You know what to expect." There was not much to say, really. Even he didn't have quite a clear idea what to expect.

She nodded, saying nothing. " You've known for some time now, didn't you ?" she asked. " On the snow planet, when you came to ask me so many questions. About Janus, Yrliet, about my plans in general for the protectorate…You were trying to prepare me for that meeting. "

He sighed, and started trying to guess where his clothes had ended up on the ground. He supposed he wasn't going to be welcome here much longer.

" Yes, I did, Elena", he replied matter-of-factly. In truth, he was worried. Elena had strayed so often from the Imperium's ruleset…he had no way to know for certain how Xavier would react to that. His mentor had been…incredibly lenient when it came to von Valancius until now. Something had definitely been afoot with Theodora, he was sure of it now. But he didn't know yet how Elena would fit inside this puzzle.

She glanced at him with a sideway look. " You worry for me. That is why you've been so persistent in challenging me before. You want me to get my answers right. "

Heinrix's expression closed up. Yes, that's what he had tried to achieve. " Yes, that is what I've been trying to achieve. Sadly, the results are…not forthcoming. " He didn't want to go back on this topic - they had quarreled so much about it all already. " You should take this more seriously, von Valancius, and prepare better ," he retorted in a deadpan voice, just because he knew that matter-of-fact tone annoyed Elena. She just hated when he gave her advice. He wondered why. He was just trying to be helpful.

She did that thing with her nose that she did when she was finding him infuriating. It was wrong to admit, but Heinrix actually found it endearing and sometimes provoked it on purpose. He kept being astonished at how easily he could sway Elena's moods one way or the other. And how reciprocal it had become.

" Stop patronizing me, van Calox. "

Yes, he really enjoyed it when she was mad at him and it was just so easy to do. He had to refrain from chuckling. Elena would be even madder if she understood he did it on purpose for his own amusement. He considered it appropriate payback for all the things she put him through.

The second of annoyance passed away. Heinrix fumbled in the dark, snatching up his uniform piece by piece. Something changed in Elena's expression - she pressed her lips hesitantly, looking torn.

" The dreams and visions I have been having lately", she started, and he paused. Her voice sounded serious. She stared at him, and he saw how preoccupied she was. " I don't talk much about it because of their violence. I feel…only pain and death. I see…only darkness. " In the night, her soft voice treaded off, lingering hauntingly in the air. She pressed her thumbs to her temples.

Heinrix stopped what he was doing. That Elena voluntarily tried to open up to him was so very rare that he could not ignore that moment. He realized that she was trying to reciprocate his own attempt at sharing part of his thoughts to her. He quietly sat back at her side.

" You have to understand, I am used to seeing death. In fact, I have seen all of you die a hundred times before in my mind. I don't tell you about it because…what's the point ? Anyway, that's how I know how to warn you. Including you, van Calox. I have come to bear with it. After all, I was born this way and I have made my life with that curse. But…" She raised up her chin again, all traces of emotions vanishing from her face and voice. " But what's in front of me, it really scares me. It is different. I sense its inexorability. I am trying so hard to discern a path we can tread - and I keep failing at it. Soon time will run short and I don't have a plan for it. It surpasses me. "

Heinrix said nothing. Diviners were not renowned for their cheerful optimism. He was vaguely aware that he wasn't exactly a role model on this either. If anything, her anxiousness gnawed at him.

Though he was hiding it from her, because he didn't want to encourage her to lean too much on her diviner senses, he had come to trust her words of caution. She so often warned him a split second before a fatal blow - he'd even wondered how he could have fought before without her timely assistance and foreboding. It had become so natural. But it was also dangerous. Like other companions in her retinue, he had noticed her growing quirks and compulsive manias. Her agitation at times. Her silence and secrecy.

Predicting the future proved alluring. He knew he had nearly fallen into this temptation himself, on Kiava Gamma. But that pull could draw one out of their time, out of their mind. Psychic talents were not toys to be played with. One should never spend too long roaming their own mind.

Gently, he pushed back a lock of hair hiding Elena's eyes behind her ear.

" What dangers do you see ? " he asked.

A ripple passed through her black eyes, as if he had thrown a stone over a deep dark lake. " I see myself crawling through a dump of corpses and losing my mind slowly. It's like…I'm blinking away and my soul is peeled a little bit more at every blink. I see you with no eyes. I see Tlass as a lifeless shell. I…" She paused abruptly. " I wish it could be clearer than that ", she added, her voice vibrating, obviously stopping herself from continuing her litany. Heinrix frowned in disquiet. " I'll have to figure it out. Heinrix, do you remember what I once told you ?"

From her voice, he knew she was going to switch the topic. He wanted her to focus on the dangers that prowled inside her mind, but knew it was meaningless. It was already such a big step that she shared her anguish with him - so unexpected. He made a mental note to overcheck every parameter of their future journeys until the sense of looming threat became clearer.

Elena pressed her thin hand against his thigh, leaning towards him. " You anchor me, Heinrix. "

He hesitated about pressing the matter further on - but at the same time, Elena made it tactfully clear that she was not interested in speaking anymore, judging by the way her fingers teasingly made their way up his thigh now.

He closed his eyes a second, tensing at the turmoil that she provoked inside him.

" Then stay here with me, right here, right now ", he replied in a grave voice, scooping her up into his arms.

He was never going to make it away from this bedroom, was he ?