The Legend of Vox Machina: A Rising TIde
In my clash against Orochimaru, using four tails worth of the Kyuubi's power, a technique went horribly wrong. I was cast into the void, a place of endless darkness and suffocating silence. The Kyuubi kept me alive, but there was a cost - his life for mine. Eventually, someone or something pulled me from that abyss. Now, I find myself in the middle of... a sewer? The irony isn't lost on me.
001: A Party Formed
The sewers of Stilben echoed with the clash of steel and the crackle of arcane energy. A small group of mercenaries, little more than a ragtag band of adventurers, found themselves surrounded by agents of the notorious Myriad. Grog's massive axe cleaved through the air with terrifying force, while Scanlan's cutting words demoralised their foes with biting sarcasm. Vex'ahlia's arrows whistled through the dank air, finding their marks with deadly precision, and Keyleth's elemental magic scorched the encroaching enemies, filling the air with the scent of ozone and burning flesh.
Suddenly, a flash of orange and black dropped from above, cutting through the gloom like a bolt of lightning. A young man with spiky blonde hair and distinctive whisker-like marks on his cheeks landed in the midst of the fray, his arrival momentarily stunning both sides into silence.
"GAH! Why is it so bright?!" the newcomer shouted as he fell from the ceiling, his eyes squinting against the sudden illumination. The man's vision quickly adjusted as he plummeted, his keen gaze scanning the ground below. He noted the large number of dark cloaks surrounding and outnumbering the non-cloaks. "Great, Naruto, not even a minute of freedom and we're already in the shit," the young man quipped to himself, his azure eyes taking in the chaotic scene unfolding beneath him.
The falling blonde shifted his body weight with practiced ease, assuming a familiar position as he smirked, letting gravity do the rest. 'Target locked,' the blonde thought, taking a deep breath before shouting with all his might.
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"
In an instant, the blonde became a blur of motion, diving toward a red-headed woman wielding a wooden staff. Her eyes widened in fear as the human projectile hurtled towards her. In a dizzying blur of movement, the young red-headed mage felt a gust of wind blow past her head, followed by the sickening sound of a slam and a pained groan behind her. She whirled around to face the back of the blonde man's head as he stood triumphantly atop a downed Myriad agent's skull, skidding to a stop on the revolting, slime-covered floor.
The bright flash of his entrance and the sudden intrusion drew the attention of all present, friend and foe alike. The man was dressed in tattered rags that he had clearly outgrown years ago, the fabric straining against his lean teenage frame. The only really intact thing was his headband, its black ends singed slightly but metal piece was still in place. He stood up straight, rotating his neck with several audible pops, and let out a loud, satisfied sigh. "Finally free," he said, before the reality of his newfound freedom hit his nostrils. "The outside does not smell like I remember," the blonde spoke, forcing himself not to gag at the putrid stench of his current location.
"Get off of him, bastard!" a cloaked individual roared, charging at the blonde with a short sword raised high.
"What?" the blonde questioned, genuine confusion crossing his features for a moment before instinct took over. He ducked under the wild strike with fluid grace, before leaping up and striking the man with a devastating knee to the face. The sickening crunch of shattering cartilage echoed through the sewer as the attacker crumpled. With the same leg, the blonde kicked off, propelling himself away from the two unconscious cloaked individuals.
Flipping into a graceful landing, Naruto's fingers instinctively formed a familiar cross-shaped seal as he began to channel his chakra. "Tajuu Kage Bun-GAH!" Naruto attempted his signature technique, but suddenly his chakra coils erupted in agony. It felt as if his very sinews were on fire, the pain searing through every fiber of his being. 'What's going on with my chakra?!' he thought, eyes widening in shock and fear as the pain began to subside. "Fine then," Naruto growled, his voice tight with frustration as the battle raged on around him. "We do this the ol' fashioned way." The young shinobi cracked his knuckles ominously before leaping towards the nearest group of cloaked individuals, determination etched on his face.
Without hesitation, he dove into the fray. His movements were a blur of orange and black as he engaged the nearest Myriad agent, his fists connecting with lightning speed and bone-crushing force. The group watched in awe as he effortlessly dispatched two more attackers with a series of acrobatic kicks that seemed to defy gravity. Suddenly, a glowing chain erupted from his forearm, its radiant links piercing through a dark cloak's shoulder with a sickening squelch.
"That's new?" Naruto said, surprise evident in his voice at the newly acquired technique. A mischievous grin spread across his face as an idea formed. "Okay, let's try this!" he announced, rotating his hips and yanking with all his might. The chain whipped through the air, it's unfortunate victim still attached, hurtling towards a tall goliath wielding a massive battle axe. As the human projectile flew, Naruto shouted, "Hey big guy! Batter up!"
The goliath's eyes widened with childlike glee after a moment of confusion. Understanding dawned on his face as he flipped his blade horizontally, turning to swing at the last possible second. The axe connected with a sickening thud, perfectly bisecting the flying target in two. Gore splattered across the sewer walls as the goliath let out a booming laugh of pure joy.
Vax'ildan, caught off-guard by an agent's sneak attack, found himself in a precarious position. His eyes widened as he saw the glint of a blade aimed for his throat. Suddenly, an arrow whistled past his ear, finding its mark in the agent's eye with a wet thunk. The would-be assassin dropped to the ground, twitching.
"Come now, brother, keep up!" Vex'ahlia teased, a smirk playing on her lips as she nocked another arrow. She ducked gracefully as a knife whizzed over her head, hearing the wet, slick thud of it finding a target behind her.
"I'm looking out for potential threats and watching your back," Vax snarked back, his eyes darting between the half-giant, the newcomer, and even the holy woman and mage. His fingers twitched, ready to unleash a dagger at a moment's notice.
"Scanlan's Hand!"
Naruto's head snapped around at the strange incantation, just in time to see a large, translucent purple fist materialize out of thin air. He leapt away with catlike reflexes as the magical appendage smashed through a small group of foes, sending them flying like ragdolls. "What kind of jutsu is that?!" the shinobi exclaimed, his mind reeling at the strange magic.
His attention was drawn to a mace of pure radiant energy smashing into the face of another foe. The weapon was wielded by a short girl with stark white hair, clad in gleaming full plate armour. 'Is she seriously fighting in all that metal?' the shinobi thought with a mixture of disbelief and distaste. It went against everything he'd been taught about stealth and mobility in combat.
"Hi-Yah!" a voice shouted from behind. Naruto's body moved on pure instinct, sidestepping to ensure the overhead strike would miss. As he pivoted, his eyes widened in shock. Where he had been standing just a heartbeat ago, a shadowy grey clone of himself materialized. It wasn't clear or solid like his usual shadow clones, but more like static mist given form - an echo of the original. Before Naruto could process what he was seeing, the misty doppelganger was split from head to toe by the attacker's blade.
The Myriad agent gulped audibly as his sword sunk into the muck at his feet. Slowly, he raised his gaze to lock eyes with the whiskered teen standing mere inches away, an almost predatory grin on Naruto's face.
"Your first mistake," Naruto began, his voice dripping with condescension, "was definitely the war cry. When you're trying to sneak attack someone, silence is your best friend. It does wonders, honestly." The shinobi chambered his dominant fist back, muscles coiling like a spring. "Nighty night now," he teased, before launching a devastating left hook. The haymaker connected with a sickening crack, dropping the Myriad agent face-first into the muck. As the enemy fell, Naruto's mind raced. 'Now then, what was that?' he pondered, thinking back to the shadowy apparition that had appeared in his place. It looked like a shadow clone, but... wasn't.
The young shinobi's introspection was cut short as he locked eyes with another diminutive figure. This one was frantically scrambling away from a pair of pursuing cronies. 'Is he holding a shamisen?' Naruto thought, baffled by the sight of a musical instrument in the midst of battle. "Just drop the instrument!" he shouted, exasperated. In a fluid motion, Naruto leapt over the short man, his body rotating in mid-air. He launched into a tornado kick, his foot connecting solidly with the closest pursuer's neck. The man dropped like a stone, unconscious before he hit the ground. Naruto allowed his momentum to carry him through, spinning once more to deliver a bone-crushing heel strike to the jaw of the second attacker. Both Myriad agents lay still in the filthy water, thoroughly incapacitated.
The short man with the instrument looked up at Naruto with a mixture of awe and confusion. "I have no clue what you just said, but may the gods bless you, ya springy bastard! I'm Scanlan, pleasure to meet me, I'm sure." He gave an exaggerated bow, nearly toppling over in the process.
Naruto stood there; brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to make sense of the strange sounds coming from the small man's mouth. "Say that again?" he asked, the words coming out in a language entirely foreign to Scanlan's ears.
"Oh, fuck my life," Scanlan cursed, his jovial demeanour slipping for a moment. He turned towards the others of the group, who were busy cleaning up the remnants of the ambush. "Anyone know a translation spell?" he called out, a note of desperation in his voice.
Naruto frowned at the short man, frustration building as he realised they couldn't understand each other. 'It's like with the first guy who attacked me,' he thought, mind flashing back to his dramatic entry into this brawl. His train of thought was interrupted as he noticed a flicker of movement in the shadows behind the red-headed girl. His eyes widened as he watched her transform from a snarling tiger back into human form, her body rippling and changing in a way that defied logic.
The druid's eyes widened as she heard Scanlan's plea for a translation spell. Before she could respond, a wet 'schlik' sound cut through the air. Keyleth whirled around, only to grimace at the gruesome sight before her. Another enemy lay crumpled on the ground, having fallen from his perch on the wall. A black dagger was buried deep in his eye socket, dark blood oozing from the wound. "Oh gosh, gross gross gross," Keyleth muttered, squirming slightly at the gore.
The non-cloaked combatants gathered together, taking stock of their surroundings. The sewer chamber was a grisly scene - ankle-deep sewage, scattered corpses, and the battered but victorious group standing amidst the carnage.
"So then, ambushes and glowing rifts aside, this was a bust," Scanlan complained, trying to wipe some unidentifiable muck from his prized shamisen.
"I dunno about that," the goliath spoke up, his deep voice resonating with satisfaction. "I got to wreck stuff!"
"That's right, buddy!" the small armoured woman chimed in, her mace still glowing faintly. "We rocked this joint!"
"Damn right we did," the half-giant cheered, puffing out his chest with pride. "Ain't no one tougher than Pikey and Grog."
"Let's get out of here, sister," Vax whispered to his twin, who was meticulously recollecting her arrows from the bodies strewn about.
"Give me a minute," Vex'ahlia responded, carefully examining each shaft for damage. "These aren't cheap, you know." As she worked, she noticed the newcomer in orange walking past their group, stooping to retrieve his own thrown weapon. A look of curiosity crossed her face as she watched him.
Vax just smirked, silently agreeing. The joy of having weapons that return to their wielder was indeed a wonderful thing.
After a few minutes of recovery and revelry, all the survivors gathered in the central area of the sewer chamber. The adrenaline of battle was wearing off, replaced by the grim reality of their situation and surroundings.
"Well, with that out of the way, see you guys. Hopefully never," Scanlan muttered, giving an exaggerated wave goodbye to the group. He was already inching towards the nearest exit, eager to put this whole messy affair behind him.
"Wait!" Keyleth spoke up, her voice tinged with concern. She pointed towards Naruto, who stood apart from the group, looking lost and confused. "What about this guy?"
Scanlan barely spared a glance in Naruto's direction. "Not my problem, sweet cheeks," he said dismissively, already turning to leave.
Frowning but mainly ignoring Scanlan's flippant comment, Keyleth turned to address the rest of the group. Her eyes were bright with hope and excitement. "But I thought we could work together, form a party or something. We worked together pretty well just now, didn't we?" The elven druid's enthusiasm was palpable, but as she looked at the faces of her temporary allies, her heart sank. She could read the answers in their expressions before they even spoke.
"No," came the curt reply from Vax, the knife-wielding rogue already melting into the shadows.
"Nah," Vex'ahlia said with a shrug, slinging her bow over her shoulder.
"Boring," rumbled Grog, the half-giant already lumbering towards the exit.
Pike, the armoured cleric, felt a pang of guilt as she looked at Keyleth's crestfallen expression. She wanted to help, truly, but she didn't know anything about translation spells. More than that, she was eager to continue her journey with Grog, her best friend and steadfast companion. It was selfish, perhaps, but that's how the world works. You can't trust and save just anyone, no matter how much you might want to.
And with that, the temporary alliance dissolved. The adventurers who had fought so valiantly together mere moments ago now split up, each going their separate ways into the twisting tunnels of Stilben's sewers. Naruto watched them leave, a mix of confusion and resignation on his face. As it was just him and the red head left, he turned towards her and offered a small smile of gratitude and pointed at himself.
"Uzumaki Naruto."
Two and half years later
In the grand halls of the castle in Emon, the capital city of Tal'Dorei, tension hung thick in the air. King Uriel Tal'Dorei stood at the head of a long, polished table, his expression stern as he addressed his council. The room was filled with the murmurs of advisors, each more anxious than the last, as they debated the kingdom's response to a looming, unknown threat.
"We cannot afford to send Emon's armies into the wild to face an unknown danger," King Uriel declared, his voice firm and resolute. "To do so would leave our city vulnerable and unprotected."
The king's gaze swept across the room, taking in the worried faces of his advisors. Through the tall windows, he could see the sprawling city of Emon, its bustling streets filled with life and energy. The thought of leaving it defenceless weighed heavily on his mind.
One of the advisors, a man with graying hair and a voice tinged with urgency, spoke up. "But sire, the threat—"
King Uriel cut him off with a booming voice that echoed through the chamber. "Enough!" His tone brooked no argument. "Find me more mercenaries," he commanded, his eyes narrowing with determination. "And this time, find me someone worthy."
The room fell silent, the weight of the king's words settling over the council like a heavy shroud. The advisors exchanged glances, understanding the gravity of their task. The kingdom needed champions—warriors who could face the unknown without fear.
As the council dispersed to carry out the king's orders, King Uriel turned back to the window, his mind filled with the challenges ahead. He knew that somewhere in the city, among the taverns and alleyways, there were those who could rise to the occasion. It was only a matter of finding them.
In a lively tavern in the more shady side of the capital was busy filled with various patrons and mercenary's looking to the edge off on long and arduous adventuring.
"Oi Whiskers ready to lose again!" the mighty voice of Grog boomed over the table as he held a barrel of mead in his arms.
"Bring it on big guy," Naruto cheered as he raised his own mug along with others at the table who hadn't changed all that much, other than getting stronger over the last couple years they had been adventuring together.
The one to change the most was Naruto considering he came into this world in nothing but rags.
He let his hair grow out a little longer as it still retained is usual spikiness texture his ocean blue eyes remained the same apart from the slit animalistic pupil. His whisker like feature darkened and slightly thickened over the years.
He grew tall, the tallest of their merry band if you take away the half giant. Around his neck lay a short black headband with his Konoha metal plate attached to the front, with a cross going through the leaf insignia.
He had a black hooded jacket with a burnt orange fur rim, along with a sienna-coloured vest tunic, black trousers, taped at the ankles with his kunai holder. His black belt had a holster storing a couple of scrolls at his hip, and he traded in his shinobi sandals when he realised, they didn't fit anymore for a pair study dark boot. The only thing missing from his person was his weapon of choice as it was resting against the table him and his crew minus one had sat at.
'Scanlan we've been here like five minutes.' Naruto thought as his mind flashed back to when he saw the horny gnome sneak off with some woman to the backrooms, as he began downing his ale along with his friends.
A few seconds went by before the mugs of ale slammed down on the table and floor.
Grog releasing a massive belch before cheering in celebration.
"Fuck yeah! Grog!" Pike cheered to her best friend's victory.
"And Grog wins again," Percy snarked in the background as he was drinking a red wine.
"Fuck, why do we get into drinking games with a giant," Vax complained his competitive edge wanting to cut down Grog a beg or two.
"It's the quickest way to get drunk, obviously." Vex spoke in smug know it all tone.
"Agreed." Naruto chimed in as he reached his next drink already on the table along with the others, as they just mass ordered in bulk.
With hindsight it was probably a mistake to do that but whatever.
The lady in all green at the table stood up slightly blushing rosy from the booze.
'She's a shade or two away from matching her hair,' Naruto thought.
"W-w-whose d-d-r-runk-k. N-n-not me-e-e I think we should go to another bar." Keyleth slurred through words before ending in a hiccup.
'Here we go,' Naruto and Percy thought as soon as they heard the hiccup.
Across the table from Naruto sat Keyleth who looked like she was about to.
'Throw up, there we go.' Naruto thought as he watched as the poor girl turned throw the drink back up. 'It's an acquired taste, man I miss sake." The former shinobi now turned adventurer thought with a sigh.
"Didn't you only have one ale?" Pike asked as she rubbed the girls back before she accidently looked and went a little pale herself "Eurgh, it's so chunky."
"Oi, watch it bitch!" some random guy shouted down at Keyleth as he walked past at the wrong moment before shoving Keyleth out of his way.
A comment that drew the attention of the entire table.
"Oi, you watch it dicknose," Grog shouted as he stood from the table causing the man to stop and turn back.
"Easy Grog, we don't waste are time of talking assholes remember." Pike said to calm her friend down while holding Keyleth who got shoved into her arms.
"I think it's time you get to moving along now." Naruto warned through a narrow gaze unleashing a mild form killing intent slightly to intimidate the asshat.
After a couple of seconds, the man grunted and went back over to his table, as Grog sat down in a huff.
"OI TAVERN KEEP," Vex hollered "Another round for Vox Machina! The greatest mercenaries in all the realm!"
The asshat from earlier started laughing obnoxiously. "The greatest? I heard you lot couldn't even rescue a cow from a burning barn!" the orc sneered, as his own crew began laughing along. "Vox Machina," he spat "what a fucking joke!"
Vox span one of his daggers into his hand before stabbing it into their table. "Let's keep things civil friend."
Naruto just continued to focus on his drink while others looked on.
"We're not looking for trouble." Vax stated as the Orc got up from his table to stare down the half elf in black.
"I bet you ain't." The orc grabbed Vax by the collar of his cloak and pulled him to. "Everyone knows you're a bunch of losers who can't keep complete a job."
Naruto had just finished his drink but instead of putting it down he spied the confrontation in front of them.
"Look at your scrawny ass, too weak to tickle your own pickle."
Vax just smirked and touched the Orcs forearm. "Are you offering to help?" he asked.
"Yea-I mean no!" the orc looked embarrassed before he pushed Vax slightly away while still gripping onto the cloak. "Fuck you!"
"Aww I'm only asking you to give me a hand." Vox shifted slightly to the side as a mug thrown the only blonde at their table smashing the orc in the face.
Using the shock Vax yanks backwards exposing the orcs arm before Grog came in swinging completely slicing the exposed limb cleanly through the mid forearm.
The orc stumbled back knocking over a table before tripping over smacking his head against the bar.
"Look Vax I think he is willing." Grog cheered will holding the dismembered hand in the air. "Oh, can I keep this?"
The Orc snarled in rage. "Don't just stand there gawking lads, kill em!" he ordered his own men.
At the same time standing beside a very happy Grog was Pike who had summoned a small light shield, with her healing properties she could handle her liquor better than most.
Next to Keyleth was slumped over leaning heavily on her staff as she tried to mentally and physically recover from heaving.
Percy just looked down and face palmed himself as he knew what about to occur. 'For once can we go out peacefully.'
Vax swayed drunkenly as he drew his second knife while Vex was finishing off her own drink as she picked up her bow.
Naruto just smirked as he leapt onto his table as he stood at the back of his crew, and with a flick of his wrist by the table a single sided axe flew up into his, with an ornate wooden handle and axe head with several frost giant runes carved into it.
Grog snarled before flipping the knocked over table out of the way.
The Orc got up and lined up with his boys before they all roared at one another.
Challenge accepted.
It was chaos the moment the two groups collided Grog went after the biggest one because that's what Grog does. Vax got kicked into the bar while Pike smashed her shield into her opposition face knocking them both to the floor.
"I don't think so you overgrown puppy!" Naruto shouted as he had leapt into the from the table and had aim an axe kick that landed on the Doberman type beastkin. Naruto's heel drilled into the man's shoulder dropping him to the floor, hurt but still awake.
"I had him!" the twins bickered as they shot the same target once they were next to each other.
Naruto glanced over to see even Percy getting involved this time round as he held his pepperbox to one the other mercenaries.
'Oh shit Grog no!' Naruto thought as he saw Grog leaping into the air.
"I'm coming Percy!" the half giant shouted as he came crashing down on the female orc and Percy crushing them both.
Naruto could only wince before he was struck by small projectile knocking him to the floor in tangle of limbs.
"Thanks for the save Naruto." Pike groaned.
"Thanks for not putting on your armour." Naruto groaned in response before Vex'ahalia tripped over the two of them.
"Pike, Naru my lovelies. Can you try to stay out of my way."
"Hey, you tripped over us!"
"Yeah, watch where you're going!" the Naruto slurred back.
Before three couldn't continue their argument, they rolled out the way of a sword slashing down them.
As Naruto regained his footing, he set out dashing through the crowd of onlookers swiping some purses of gold alongside Vax'ildan who throw what he got to his sister while staying in the fight.
"Not bad brother." Vex cheered as she danced around her foe with a drunken grace.
The red headed sorceress of their crew was stumbling away for the dobermen beastkin while holding her mouth closed, the movement and the lights causing her great discomfort.
As the beastkin cornered the girl by the window he roared in her face, but she responded with throwing up in his mouth.
There was a brief moment of silence between the two of them.
A single thought passed between them.
'Did I just do that?!'/'Did they just do that?!'
'Why is it chunky,' was the beastkin's last thought before the projectile vomited off to the side.
Keyleth just waved her hands tying the man up in vines, wrapping him up tight. "Why does this happen every time we go drinking?" she whined.
"Because we're assholes Key, you know this already," Naruto responded as he pressed his knee into the back of some randoms neck while he grabbed his legs and pulled trapping his adversary in a liontamer grapple.
"Erm Naruto he's tapping." Keyleth pointed out.
"Oh, is that what that noise is, I simply couldn't make it out over all this racket." Naruto snarked before he released the hold and let the man crumple to the ground.
Vex'ahlia was dodging wild swings from another orc with a glass bottle. As she danced around, she felt her back hit the wall. 'Shit!' she thought as the orc was coming in for the kill so to speak, but in a flash the orc halted.
Looking down the half elf could see that her opponents bottle wield arm was wrapped up by a glowing chain restricting the orc from moving any closer. The archers' eyes trailed the chain back to its owner her eyes met a familiar ocean blue. Turning back to the orc who was trying to fight against his power.
Vex just smirked before bringing her fingers two her lips and she whistled and within a few seconds an armoured grizzly bear burst through the wall and roared.
"Good boy Trinket, over here," the ranger shouted as Naruto flicked his wrist to move the ethereal adamantine chain and swing the Orc into Trinkets path.
Naruto chuckled to himself as Trinket dragged the poor soul outside. 'Man I love that bear,' the former shinobi thought as he swung his axe hand too parry a sword strike as he moved the pair clashed again.
Sword vs Axe but only Naruto maintained hold of his weapon, as the merc that tried to clash with him dropped his sword as it was now covered in frost and their own hands were damaged from freezer burn.
"Grog move aside." Percy shouted as he tried to get a shot off only for the fuse to not fully engage. "Oh bollocks," the gunsmith cursed as he was grabbed by a bystander who had a drink spilled on her during the brawl.
"Where the bloody hell is Scanlan?" Vax said as he sat up from just getting flung into a wall.
"I'm coming Percy!" Naruto shouted as he ran over towards green eyes. Only for the whiskered face teen to drop into a slide as the large woman holding Percy raised him over her head and throw him like a sack of potatoes.
As Naruto slid underneath his friend, he looked up his betrayed face.
"You were supposed to catch me!" Percy mouthed.
"Better luck next time I guess." Naruto shrugged as Percy continued to crash into another room. While Naruto slid and flipped over the woman lashing out with a mule kick to the back of her head causing her to floor face first and as he land, he clapped his hands together creating an echo of himself. That he sent into the fray. 'Like shadow clones one good hit and done but always so helpful.'
The echo was a perfect copy Naruto unlike his first accidental attempt when he first arrived the static mist matched his form down to the headband and had a form independence as it dove in between a punching match between Grog and the one-handed boss. 'I swear sometimes my clones are suicidal,' Naruto thought as he watched his echo.
"I found Scanlan!" Percy shouted in the distance.
The echo dove in between and had two fist smashes into its face.
Naruto winced, 'Shit I'm going to feel that in the morning.'
One from the Orc Mercenary boss and the other from one Grog Strongjaw. The echo only really strong enough to handle one solid blow was about to disperse but Naruto learnt how to rig his echo.
Whenever the echo is destroyed it explodes in a static sounding burst that stuns anyone close enough.
Both Grog and the boss were blown back slightly but their visions were swimming from the echo dispelling.
"Sorry Grog. Gah-" Naruto laughed as he was speared from the side.
It was at this point that the barkeep had back up to the bar from the cellar with more barrels of ale. Their jaw dropped at the scene before them, the chaos, the carnage the mess. "You got to be shitting me." The barkeep dropped the barrels and shifted form to a huge minotaur and slamming their arms onto the bar top.
"Stop!" they roared loud enough to halt the current festivities.
Grog even dropped some poor soul he was about launch somewhere.
"First you people drink me dry!" the barkeep snapped, before shrinking back into their humanoid form "Then you destroy my tavern." They pointed to the destruction before seeing a hole where door should be. "A-a-and what is that gnome doing with my daughter!"
"It's probably best you don't know." Scanlan quipped before returning to his duties.
"Whose gonna pay for all this?" the barkeep questioned ignoring the gnome and child for now.
"My goodness such a mess," Vex said stepping forward. "It's absolutely dreadful but I can assure you darling, that Vox Machina, will find those respo-"
"No, no, no don't even try it." The barkeep interrupted extending their hand. "Money, now!"
Naruto quickly summoned a small chain and grabbed a hold of Vex'ahlia purse of stolen gold and whipped quickly and discreetly into her twin's grasp who nodded to the whiskered one.
"Erm well you see," Vex tried to stall but a piece of ceiling caved in next to them causing the barkeep to snort in rage and begin to take the form of a minotaur once more overshadowing the non-giants in the room. "If you give me five."
Was the last word from Vox Machina as they all thrown out of the tavern.
As the group landed on the stone floor, Scanlan got up first "Erm excuse me I forgot." The bard was interrupted by his underwear hitting his face followed by his trousers and then lute. "Thank you!"
"AND STAY OUT!" The barkeep shouted before slamming the door.
As Scanlan was getting dressed, the group hadn't moved much, other than sitting on the ground, letting the cool night air sober them up slightly. The aftermath of their latest escapade was settling in.
"Does that officially mean we are banned from every tavern in Emon?" Keyleth asked, her voice tinged with a mix of amusement and resignation.
"We've hardly got any money, no place to live, and sweet fuck all for prospects," Vax grouched, his frustration evident.
Grog was idly playing with the Orcish hand he had cut off earlier, seemingly unfazed by the situation.
"Well, perhaps if a certain someone didn't accidentally decapitate the last fellow who hired us," Percy remarked dryly, adjusting his spectacles.
"I apologized, didn't I?" Grog retorted with a shrug.
"We've got a mountain of debts and three silvers to our name," Vex complained, opening her pouch to reveal its meagre contents.
"Actually, sister, we got something out of that," Vax interjected, tossing a pouch that Naruto had swiped over to her.
"Oh, can we grab a place to stay tonight?" Vex asked, a glimmer of hope in her voice.
"Maybe, not sure," Vax replied noncommittally.
"It would only cover a couple of nights; we need a job, anything at this point," Vex continued, stroking Trinket, who was lounging beside her.
Pike stood up, her expression determined. "Well, maybe protecting carts from swindlers and bandits or goblin raids isn't getting us anywhere. Why don't we maybe, just maybe, try and do something good?"
The consensus was near unanimous.
The twins said, "Nah."
Grog yelled, "Boring."
Naruto snorted, "Hey, you know what they say: if you want a job done, then make sure you pay well. Shinobi handbook rule number 9."
"Pike, ethics are a luxury we can't afford at this point," Percy added, his tone pragmatic.
"Have you guys ever thought that maybe we're not meant to do this?" Keyleth spoke up, her voice tinged with melancholy.
'Uh oh,' Naruto thought, remembering that Keyleth was a depressing drunk once she'd thrown up.
"Vex and Vax only care about themselves," Keyleth continued.
"Well, fuck you," the twins clapped back in unison, their sibling bond unshaken.
"Grog just wants to murder everyone," Keyleth added.
"Yeah, pretty much," Grog responded with a nonchalant shrug.
"Percy barely wants to be seen with us in public, and Naruto is a maelstrom of chaos once he gets going," Keyleth lamented.
"I mean, she ain't wrong about me," Naruto admitted with a chuckle.
"And Scanlan wants—"
"To bed everybody in the realm," the bard interrupted, placing his lute in the group's mystic loot sack. "Yes, you can say it, Keyleth."
The elven druid just sighed deeper. "Honestly, why are we even together?"
Naruto sat up from his position, breaking his eye contact from the unfamiliar constellations above. "Because as dysfunctional and damaged as we all are, this is the family we chose, Red."
"And on that serious note, I'm going to go drain the proverbial basilisk away from this pity party," Scanlan interrupted before walking off.
A few minutes later, a scream echoed from the direction Scanlan had gone.
"Do you think he flashed someone again?" Grog asked, scratching his head.
"Probably, big guy," Naruto responded as their loudmouth bard came running back with a poster in hand.
"This is it. This is our purpose," the gnome declared, holding up the poster that was nearly as tall as him. "Fighting for justice, for glory, protecting the kingdom and stuff." Scanlan rolled up the poster after he was certain he had everyone's attention. "And most importantly, lots of money!" he ended with a flourish and a high note, as his trousers fell, causing him to flash the entire party.
"Goddamnit, Scanlan!" the group groaned in unison, a familiar refrain in their chaotic lives.
The End
Next chapter
The Terror of Tal' Dorei part 1+2
Authors Notes
Ok so I fell in love with the show and was waiting for someone anyone to this crossover and I was watching the live streams and some of the fanart/fan music, and I was like fuck it time to be the first.
How do you think Naruto will interact with the rest of the group.
This will follow the tv show just because following a d&d 3 session would fckin ridiculous.
Thoughts on Naruto more explanations into what exactly happened and how Naruto is in this plane will be discovered as we go.
Naruto cannot use chakra in the traditional sense in this world new world new rules, he still has the power it just had to be learned to channel in a different way.
Always wanted to get into D&D just never had the right people for it though I guess this is dipping into that world… maybe one day who knows.
I kind of like the echo knight/monk build for Naruto so I still have the cloning along chakra chains but it's not going to be like Kushina's well not yet.
Weapon- Leviathan Axe
Displayed abilities: Echo Knight- misty version of shadow clone with a concussive end.
Chakra chain- a ethereal unbreakable chain pierces or wraps around target the cannot move for as long as the chain is attached and it suppresses and nullifies mana like anti magic
We will see the rasengan and potential variants again so for those who are worried.
What do we think of Naruto's older 17/18 year old look, and what you think of in general, how was the bar brawl, could you follow or was it too chaotic and messy to read?
would people want a stat sheet for this naruto at that has levels and other stats and information?
Need to finish campaign 1 live streams before starting c2 with the mighty nein.
Anyway, leave a review as it feeds my engines of creation….
Tune in next time to find out what the hell is going on in Tal Dorei.
Stay Chilling Y'all