Chapter 20

[ Of Which We Try to Grasp For ]

To say that she'd gotten used to silence was something of an understatement. Within the four walls of this great library, of which she had confined herself to and operated from within for centuries long, she had grown accustomed to the hollow emptiness, despite the sheer volumes of tomes and journals kept in the archives.

Staring through her glasses, she catches the reflection of light off of mites of dust dancing in the air. Far beyond and surrounding her in every direction are rows upon rows of bookshelves filled with innumerable tomes, upon which the pages were inscribed the history of Underworld, all «Sacred Arts» in existence, and so much more worldly knowledge that those who yearn for the goblet of all-knowing would desperately seek out. The air smelt papery and old, resulting from the unending years of lack of exposure to fresh, earthen air. The chandelier that hung from the stone-domed ceiling cast pearly white light upon the library, but shadows still claimed the far recesses of each corridor between the bookshelves.

She sipped from her tea, the blend of sweetness and bitterness sweeping across her tastebuds. In just that single moment, she feels the years catch up to her, but not in a physical way. Her body had long been frozen in its current form, forced to live out her years looking like a child when her mind had been turned into a labyrinth of information. She felt older than she ever did, and the drawn-out sigh that came after truly hit the mark.

'How many years has it truly been since I've fled here and disconnected myself from the world..?'

Perhaps, the better question was when the little girl that she was meant to have been, had been turned into a proxy of the pontifex? The other side of the same coin, yet now oppose one another in a shadow war of their own making.

Wordlessly, she set down her teacup and stared at the oaken surface of the table. Everything in this room, just like she, was ageless. Not a single blemish could be seen, and would remain that way for many years to come.

Was this some curse of sorts? Perhaps. She wondered if there would truly come a moment or time when her Fluctlight would finally crack and she, the living embodiment of the Cardinal System's error-checking sub-process of Underworld, would cease to be.

Her musings come to an end when the sound of a door opening resounded. She was tense for just a second before remembering who it was, relaxing immediately after.

Steady footsteps approached her, gradually rising in volume before the person in question revealed herself before her; short wavy black hair and black eyes, wearing a dark black dress and a scarf around her neck.

"Charlotte."

"Lady Cardinal," the woman before her bowed her head respectfully. "It has been a while."

"It truly has," she nodded back, smiling. "You seem to have fared well, yes?"

"Indeed. My time spent in Rulid has been incredibly productive, but thankfully peaceful. There is not much to say. Since the last event, things have calmed down immensely," she sighed. "Two years… To think it's been that long."

"Truly."

The two sat together, Cardinal pouring some tea for her familiar, who thanked her in turn. She hadn't touched it right away, however, simply looking around and taking in the library. Understandable, considering that she'd been away from it for so long.

Two years. That was how long it had been since she last saw Charlotte in the flesh. She had still been able to receive news of what happened through Charlotte's own familiar, the miniature zu, though it was hard to imagine all of that to have happened in just the span of a few months in the same year.

There was much to talk about, she realized, but where to start?

Before she could say a word, Charlotte had beat her to the punch. "How have you been these past two years, Lady Cardinal?"

"Fine enough," she hummed. "As you know, I am incapable of leaving this room that I've confined myself in. An attempt to do so would undoubtedly leave a trail for the Administrator to follow, and she would jump upon any chance to strike at me. As such, just as usual."

"Right…"

"And what of you?" Cardinal asked next, a little more attentive. "From all the letters you've sent, I can easily tell that you've gone through a number of ordeals. I'm curious as to how your life up on the surface has been."

Now, Cardinal had known Charlotte for a great many years. In fact, she was one of her earliest familiars, who had been by her side the longest when many of her fellows had either been discovered and killed. At this point, she would have known every way she could possibly behave.

"A-Ahaha… Right, of course…"

The little girl blinked, caught off-guard by the nervous laughter from her familiar. It was so genuine, so human that she felt like she'd just heard a different person.

But the person sitting before her was still Charlotte. And looking at her, too, brought yet another wave of surprises; the fact that her typically expressionless assistant could have the 'so done with life' look on her face was a far cry from the usual. Even her smile was shaky.

"Er, Charlotte?"

"…Ah, forgive me, milady. It isn't actually bad or anything," she quickly said, sounding oddly flustered. Her, Charlotte, of all people! "If I were to speak bluntly, I much love my time in Rulid. The people have been nothing but friendly, and my job there isn't difficult. Plus, after that last visit from the Administrator, we have had no big events, so to speak."

"Rulid has been good on you, then."

"It has," a soft smile flits onto her face, looking so serene. "Every single day is so much fun, despite how peaceful everything has been."

"Do you have a place to live in? And what do you do?"

Her smile came easily to her, so genuine and warm. "I live with the chieftain and his family. I am especially close with their youngest daughter, Selka, who is now studying «Sacred Arts». She is a very sweet girl, and we often sew and cook together. As for what I do, I simply help out around the village wherever I can, though I am typically involved in more strenuous work. Physical labour is of no difficulty to me, and I often join the hunters in patrolling the village and ensure the forests are safe."

"Well, you've certainly been busy."

"Other than that, I, along with Fanatio, teach Kirito and Eugeo."

"Swordsmanship?"

"That is her duty, alongside «Sacred Arts». I am more focused on the physicality; I help them build their bodies, since it is an incredibly important factor to take into when pursuing a calling related to vigorous activity such as sword fighting."

The answer was one she did not expect, chestnut eyes blinking slowly as her brain tried to process what she just heard.

"You are their… physical instructor?"

"In an essence, yes. You see, Kirito and Eugeo are tasked with felling the Gigas Cedar," she was aware of that. She stated such in her letters. "After they are done with their task, which is swinging at the tree two thousand times in total, they would begin training. We usually rotate between myself and Charlotte, and if it were me, I would have them undergo rigorous exercise to build their muscles."

"Such as?"

"Anything that works," she shrugged back. "Running, swimming, climbing trees, carrying heavy items, jogging, push-ups, pull-ups…"

"That's… quite a lot."

"Admittedly, I am not so aware of how everything works, but the father of one of Kirito's friend was a guard once, and he'd had to teach rookies how to build their bodies. He even wrote a book on several techniques, so when he heard of our arrangement, he shared his knowledge with me."

"I see. No wonder you seem to know much about that," Cardinal chuckled.

"Indeed. I wouldn't say my knowledge is perfect—there is still much for me to learn—but I am at least familiar enough with what to help the boys focus on."

"And you say you've been doing this for almost an entire year and a half. I would think that you're already proficient at the task."

The ravenette shrugged, her smile taking on an unsure tone. "I hope so. My training methods are often… random, for a lack of a better term. The only saving grace is the fact that they're incredibly diligent. Sometimes, they're a little too eager to train, but because of that, they've shown remarkable results in just the span of a year."

Though Cardinal didn't let it show, she was definitely curious about those two. When Charlotte reported back that they had somehow come into contact with goblins, there was enough immediate reason to keep tabs on them, hence why she asked Charlotte to remain in the village.

So far, she had read nothing but praise towards them in Charlotte's letters. She had an assumption that the children would eventually learn everything there was to know from them and graduate in at least another year's time, which would certainly be impressive.

The girl paused. Her eyes rose to take in her familiar's features, and they were… happy. A far cry from her typically inexpressive look.

'She gets this way whenever she talks about the village, of the children and her friends,' she smiled to herself. 'You truly love Rulid that much, I see.'

Why that relieved her so much, she wasn't sure, but she was happy for her. Considering all the centuries of struggle she had gone through in carrying out her missions for her, she deserved this break.

Charlotte was a spider who used to live far in the west, in the areas of the Snild Snow Fields. Though the little girl had never seen that place for herself, Charlotte had called a beautiful place where the snow was eternal and the nights decorated with auroras and stars. She had lived there for many years alongside her fellow kind.

But when Administrator took over, she had begun executing many powerful creatures to usurp control over the Human Empire. It was a mentality that creatures who could not be controlled deserved to be removed, which was exactly what happened to the northern dragon and even Charlotte's species.

She, and perhaps a few, had managed to escape. And one thing lead to another and they'd become allies in their war against the Administrator.

With the incantation of «Sacred Arts», Cardinal had bestowed her with the ability to speak the human tongue, as well as the ability to easily manipulate her size. As such, she had become the perfect agent for infiltration and scouting missions, all in their search for allies for their battle against the Administrator.

And if they were to accomplish that, then… then they could prevent the «Final Load Test».

Her smile turns a little wry at the thought. 'I suppose wiping out the entire world would seem cruel, but at the very least, it would be painless. No one would have to suffer—not the people of the Human Empire, nor the denizens of the Dark Territory.'

She had to wonder what the purpose of the «Final Load Test» was for. To determine humanity's potential for survival? To see how far they would fight for their salvation? Or to simply sate some sadistic urge?

No one had asked to be made personal guinea pigs in their war simulation, yet here they were; victims of their machinations. Injustice truly reigns supreme.

"Are you alright, milady?"

"Hm?" She blinked, looking back at Charlotte, who has an uncharacteristic look of worry on her face. "Ah, forgive me. I was thinking of something unpleasant."

"I could tell," she said, sighing. "For a moment there, you reminded me of Kirito."

"Kirito?"

"Yes," her features softened, taking on a sad look. "Both Kirito and Eugeo had gone through many ordeals in just the first year—losing their best friend, almost dying in their fight with the Million-Eyed, and the multiple encounters with the Administrator and her Integrity Knights. Things had been hectic," yeah. Hectic seemed accurate. "And he's… well, he's always taken it poorly."

"How so?"

"Their friend, Alice Zuberg, had been taken away because she'd accidentally touched the soil of the Dark Territory. From that day onwards, he bore an overwhelming sense of guilt. I'd always noticed it, of course, but it was a mistake on my part for never having realized just how deep it went. He broke down when he'd revealed it to Selka and Eugeo shortly before the Administrator's final visit," her jaws clenched. "Milady… it was so difficult to watch. The young boy who was so gentle to his church siblings, who had the most boisterous laugh, who was always so strong—when he broke down crying, I felt my own heart tremble. It was just too much."

"Charlotte…"

"But… But thankfully, Eugeo and Selka were there for him. They comforted him, and Selka had never cared. Even when he said it was his fault for her sister being arrested, she simply said that she never blamed him for that. He couldn't accept it, and I fear he still doesn't, even if he and Selka have learnt to cross that bridge and grown closer as a result. He had nightmares," she almost said in a whisper. "Has, actually. He still has them; of Alice's arrest."

Goddesses… All the letters had painted the picture of a chirpy young boy. To hear the truth from her familiar made her deeply uncomfortable, sympathetic for him, and angry once more; Administrator's system had allowed for an unjust crime like this to happen in the first place. This deontological approach to ruling was not going to help anyone.

They had to stop her, no matter what.

"Lady Cardinal," Charlotte refocused on her familiar. Her facial expression, while tight, was also filled with some kind of determination. "I understand that my duty is to you and our goals. But… I also wish to stand by Kirito and Eugeo's side. They have a mission of their own, and I seek to help them accomplish it. Will you be alright with that?"

"A mission, you say? Ah, I understand. You told me that they wish to go to Centoria."

"Yes. And I understand that it may seem counter to what we'd want, since they would become Integrity Knights… I still want to see it through with them."

Cardinal paused to consider just how different she was from just two years ago. The woman sitting before her was so different, so much more human than she'd ever been. She felt nothing but admiration for her.

Her smile came easily. "Hah. You've grown attached to them, have you not?"

"Eh? Um, yes, you could say that," the wind was taken out of her sails now, surprised and flustered in equal measurement. Cardinal stifled a chuckle. "We've been together for more than a year now. And we've faced every hardships together, so…"

"That is good. Bonds like those are far more valuable than anything else. In fact, answer me this; What are they to you?"

"What are they to me..?" She considered the question with a serious look, before finally answering her. "Kirito and Eugeo are my students, my allies and my friends. Selka, too, is someone very dear to me now," her hand, balled into a fist, came up to her chest. "The truth is, milady, there are some things I haven't told you. Their fight with the Million-Eyed hadn't been the first one, and there's a reason why they want to go to Centoria."

"And let me guess. You cannot speak of them?"

"I cannot," to her credit, she sounded apologetic. "But these are secrets of theirs, and they trusted me to keep them. As such, I cannot tell anyone, which includes you," she bowed her head. "Please forgive me for that."

"Please, do not lower your head for a reason like that. If anything, it is commendable," her words made the ravenette perk up. Cardinal simply smiled back. "From all that you've written to me, of the things you've told me today, I can tell that their mission is an incredibly important one. If you could help them succeed, even if they end up becoming Integrity Knights, then I will have no complaints."

"Milady…"

"But remember this, Charlotte; you are now their teacher. And perhaps you've already understood the implications of this, but simply put, you are their guardian too. So you must fight to protect them, no matter who the enemy is. Do you understand that?"

"Of course," she nodded sharply, resolute. "Just as I would fight for you, Lady Cardinal, I would fight for them as well. I will protect them, no matter what."

"Then they're in good hands."

For the rest of her stay here, Charlotte and Cardinal quickly catch up on all that has transpired over the span of the year. It was mostly an opportunity for her to know more about her familiar's time in the northernmost village—from the time when Kirito had roped Eugeo into jumping around on rooftops, to when Selka and her learnt cooking from the former's mother, to when a flustered Fanatio was swamped by the church children asking a million questions about what being an Integrity Knight was like (and Sister Azalia failing to get them to calm down).

Her familiar was happy. Cardinal could tell, judging by the way her eyes twinkled whenever she spoke, or the little laughter she would give when recounting a funny tale. Sometimes, she managed to sound so exasperated when remembering the antics the boys got up to, but she would always look so happy after.

Rulid has been kind on her. Cardinal was relieved. After all, Charlotte had never interacted with people prior to this, so the fact that she'd gotten along so well with its people deserved some respect.

'And certainly changed her quite a bit,' she thought with some amusement. Charlotte was far more expressive than she'd ever been, and certainly spoke much more than before. All good changes, as far as she could tell.

But the most important thing of all; she'd gained something to protect. People to fight for. And that was good.

For a moment, she can't help but think of Lyserith, the girl who once occupied this body. If she hadn't been brought to the cathedral, she could've lived out her life back home in Treitis Pass in Eastabarieth, with her father who was the owner of a furniture shop. She could have lived there, studying «Sacred Arts», grow old and marry there, have kids there, and died there. She would have been happy there, just as Charlotte is now.

Instead, her soul had been burnt away, her body occupied now by her. The only thing she could do was honour her death and do her best to ensure such a tragedy never repeated again.

'For everyone's happiness, we'll continue fighting. I will make sure of that.'

"Well, it's been rather late. Thank you for having me, milady. I had a lot of fun seeing you, but I should take my leave soon. Tomorrow, we are to begin training the boys in «Incarnation»."

Cardinal perked up at that. "Already?" She asked.

"They've actually displayed relatively great control over theirs before this, though involuntarily. Even in our regular training, I notice that they actually tap into their «Incarnation» without noticing. If we can help them refine their control of their «Incarnation», then they would be incredibly adept at fighting."

She hummed in understanding. "Certainly… Well, I suppose it is time for you to go, then. I can tell you are eager to return home."

"Ah…" She chuckled at the embarrassment on her familiar's face. "Forgive me, milady."

"Not at all, not at all. You are free to return anytime you so wish, though I would certainly appreciate it if you notify me first-hand, just as you did three days ago. It will give me ample time to prepare for your arrival and keep the backdoor undiscoverable."

"Indeed," she sighed. "I suppose this is it, then. Thank you, Lady Cardinal. It was nice to see you again."

"It really has. And all the stories you have told me make me know that my decision to have you remain in Rulid the first time around was the right one," the little girl looked up to the older woman, chestnut and black making contact. "Continue being there for them, and make more memories. Alright?"

"I… I will. Thank you," she sounded so emotional, it was incredible. A year among the humans truly has changed her so much. "Let us meet again in the future. And…" Her expression was nervous, but hopeful. "Someday… I would love to bring you to Rulid."

The centuries-year-old entity stared at her familiar, eyes wide in surprise. Eventually, however, even she found herself laughing in delight. "I would like that," she said, and Charlotte smiled back. "Someday, we shall make it happen."

"Indeed!"

And perhaps, when that day comes, it would be a time when they would be free to enjoy nothing but true peace for the rest of their days. There would be nothing that will stop her from seeing that ideal realized, even if it would be at the cost of her life.

And who knows? Maybe a miracle would show itself one day. She would never know.

«Alicization I: Of Crowns and Swords»

► Arc I: Rulid

Arc II: ?

Arc III: ?

Arc IV: ?