So the meeting with my mother-in-law did not go that well. In my defense, I was never planning to meet her though!
"We need to go back to Planeptune ASAP." Lan proclaimed not so out of nowhere.
"Wha? Wasn't this whole trip you and Nepgear's idea? To tie up loose ends or whatever?"
Lan shook his head. "That was before I learned Mother was alive and well. No way we can stay here now. Pack your things Neptunyan!" Lan wasted no time and ran to his room.
Neptune grumbled a bit before grabbing her stuff too. "This guy…you sure know how to pick em' , kid. You aren't annoyed at all by it?"
Annoyed? "Mmm, well if Lan wants to go then that's okay by me. He's usually the one that takes us everywhere anyway."
Lan more or less knows exactly what I like, so if I leave it to him I'm sure everything will be fine!
Neptune sighed and smiled at me. "Even though you've changed so much, you haven't changed at all."
Neptune…
"Oooh, that was a pretty great line, yeah!?" …Neptune…
"Could you feel the emotion in it? Pretty raw stuff there." She seems proud of herself.
"As long as you don't vanish again, I don't mind where you go."
"Hehe, don't worry, I'm sure Lan and I won't be leaving Planeptune again anytime soon." I mean, I have a duty as a CPU Candidate it seems. Lan wouldn't even think of leaving me alone.
"You really trust and rely on him quite a bit huh?"
"W-well, of course! He's my husband…and um, he can be very mature and depend-"
"Hey guys look what I found!" Lan ran out of his room covered in bubble wrap.
…I said that he CAN be! When he wants to!
"Woah! It's like bubble wrap armor!" Neptune was equally excited.
As long as they're having fun I guess?
"Umm, I'm going to pack up my things now." …I don't think they can hear me over Lan rolling around and popping.
…That looks like fun.
"S-save some for me! I want to pop them too!" I can pack later!
After a longer than expected time later…
"Whew, thankfully we don't have to move everything in the house." I don't know how they're going to move a whole house, but maybe it's better that way.
"Alrighty! I sent Histy an update to let her know we're coming back earlier than expected." Neptune lies back onto the sofa with a big sigh.
"Sorry for the trouble, Neptunyan."
"No biggie Lanny boy! After meeting your mom, I don't think I can blame you for wanting to get as far as possible! She gives me the creeps." She lightly shivers and makes a face as if she sucked on a lemon.
A fitting reaction to Lan's mother.
Um, my mother-in-law.
Seriously complicated feelings.
On one hand, I finally got to meet a member of Lan's family. On the other, it's his mother who seems completely insane.
Not to mention that power she used felt really familiar.
Hmm, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before though?
Whatever it is, it gives some seriously icky vibes.
I don't want to have to deal with it if I can help it.
…
For now, I'll keep it in the back of my mind and think of counter-measures for the future.
"...She sure does make a lot of faces when she's thinking huh, Lanny?"
"I know. Sometimes I like to see how much of her thoughts I can guess based on her face."
"Ohhh! That seems like fun! I'll give it a shot too!"
Neptune and Lan seem to be having an interesting conversation about my face…
"Or not! I don't need to be an expert face reader to tell what she's thinking right now! Time for a strategic retreat!"
With that, Neptune jumps up off the couch and dashes to her room.
She's escaped…for now.
"That leaves just us huh, Lan?" It's not like I'm angry or anything.
Well, whatever. I can focus a little better without those two bouncing off each other.
"So, what do you think, Lan?" Now that the distraction has left…
"I think napkin culture is such a strange thing." …What?
"Think about it. We have these tiny expensive pieces of paper that don't really clean anything."
"Ummm…" Really not sure what I'm supposed to do.
"They give them to you at restaurants, donut shops, and people buy them for their dinner tables. Yet, after I use a napkin, I don't feel any cleaner."
This is my fault. I'm convinced.
"Why don't we just use paper towels? They're cheaper, more versatile, more effective, and generally just a better product."
"Lan, I meant about your mother. What do you think we should do about your mother?" He could go on like this for hours if I don't stop him. Normally I would listen without complaining but…
"There isn't much else we can do." He shrugged as he examined the napkins on the dinner table.
"If she is as I remember, then our best option is to put as many obstacles between us as possible and hope it stalls her."
Hopefully giving up on his light grudge against napkins, he reluctantly sits back down on the sofa.
"It's obvious she wants me for some dubious scheme that I hold no interest in." He waves his hand dismissively.
"Dubious seems to be taking it lightly…I feel like malicious would be more accurate. She wasted almost no time trying to maim you or incapacitate you." It looked like she was aiming for the limbs.
"I don't really care what she wants. Mother probably sees no merit in whatever relationship we have and is only concerned for her own goals." Sounds like someone else I know… At least he doesn't try to stab people. Usually.
"Right, it felt like she was mocking us the whole time. So the chances of us having a mother-daughter bonding episode are pretty much out the window." I really like those moments in manga and anime…Oh well, life can't always imitate art.
"Sorry, Lily. I wish I could've given you a normal family."
"Hmm? Oh no, Lan. I knew from the start we would never get something like that anyway. Our whole family dynamic is…interesting to say the least. But, I like what we have."
He smiled, got up and took my hand.
"Me too, Lily. You know what? I'm not even worried about Mother anymore. I'm sure no matter what she's scheming, you could probably handle it with one hand tied behind your back."
"Isn't this where you're supposed to say 'we can handle anything together'?"
"Hahaha, you're so cute." Wh-what's that got to do with anything?
"I guess you're right. You tell me to make something happen, and I'll make it happen. That's how it works."
"That's right! It's a team effort!" As I pouted he only smiled at me.
"Stop staring at me before I get embarrassed." He chuckled again.
"You're already embarrassed." This guy! I swear!
That conversation ended with all the sofa pillows and his face becoming well acquainted.
Well well well, look who came crawling back after 2 months. I have no excuse other than, oops. The second I realised it had been a year, I was like...woaaah. Anyways, you have the napkin rant to thank for me writing. I couldn't stop thinking about it and realised it would be something Lan would really want to think about and then boom. Dumbest thing ever. It wasn't the urge to write cute stuff or anything. It was my anger at napkins. Why do they give them to you at donut shops? It just makes my hands even dirtier. Expect more napkin related content in the future. Anyway, that's it, see ya.