Chapter 37

[ Convictions ]

"Your Eminence, please, waaait! We might have been mistaken! It might just be a lie—"

"Nonsense. Scheta has as good as given her word when she had the message delivered to us. I have no doubt that the boy had truly succeeded."

Even saying it out loud didn't rid her of the utter disbelief she was feeling, her feet carrying her down the corridor as she made for the elevating platform. Servants occupying the corridors parted and bowed in her presence, though she offered them no response, practically tunnel-visioned forwards.

Today had started off as a normal day, if a little busier than usual. Letters had come in from several across the empires; reports of the infestation of wild animals, a discovery of an untapped mineral deposit, requests of new route establishments. There was even a request for policy changes in regard to the usage of a trade route for merchants. This one had been particularly notable considering how it would actually affect the livelihood of smaller, tribal settlements along that path, and the push for making it accessible to merchants could provide a boost to their economy.

Hah. Even after all the years, all the lessons drilled into her in regards to management was still there, at the forefront of her mind. Guess that was just how she was.

Nevertheless, she'd been managing her workload relatively well. And it was around then when a servant had come to her to deliver Scheta's message. That the boy, Kirito, had succeeded in awakening his imagination—a subtle way to cue in on the real thing.

And after that? Nothing else mattered. She needed to see it with her own eyes.

Impatience gnawed at her, and it took everything she had not to scream at the operator as she carried them down, the whirring sounds of the elements grating on her. There was no possible way to hasten its descent, and even if the operator could, that was just foolishly dangerous. The boy would be there, she knew it. And she needed to see it.

«Incarnation». Not an incantation like the «Sacred Arts», but an impossibly high potential that made it far more powerful than spells. The threshold of skill and focus needed to achieve such a power was almost ridiculous, though the people thus far had achieved it in minute ways. Nobility instilling their pride into their techniques was one such way, drawing upon a sliver of its true power.

Thus far, the only people she knew to have unlocked the full capabilities of their imagination included her knights, Chudelkin and herself. That was how it has always been since the very start.

And now, to have heard that the boy had managed to pull it off as well was maddening.

Her arms wrapped tight around herself, silver eyes narrowed as she pondered over the matter. How did he even know that such a thing existed? There'd been no texts in the library that pertained to «Incarnation»—she herself had given him permission to access the texts, respecting his desire to pursue knowledge. She'd been more impressed at the time by the fact that he was far more literate than he seemed at first, and decided that she may as well give him ample opportunity to further improve himself.

But she'd ensured that the library stored no forbidden knowledge, ancient techniques or parts of history that had been done away from the official records. It should have been impossible for either him or his friends to even know what it was in the first place. And it wasn't obvious enough when performed by the common people that they would have been cued in on its existence.

Had Scheta demonstrated it to him? Even if that were the case, it should have been impossible for him to replicate it. He was fourteen, for crying out loud! It would have taken even a normal person years to even realize what it was, then years more to master it!

'This was the same boy who slaughtered the death worm,' her mind helpfully supplied. 'The same boy who fought Synthesis One. The same boy who discovered the Aincrad style,' and now, the same boy who'd activated his «Incarnation», if Synthesis Twelve was to be believed.

Arriving at the fifty-first floor, she immediately made her way to the training grounds, Chudelkin right beside her. The moment they stepped foot into the room, her prime minster gasped, his voice squeaking out in indignation and disbelief. "What happened here?!"

A fair reaction. The room itself was generally untouched, though the same could not be said for the training ring; it was as if a storm had tore through the room and upturned the entire area. The blast zone was wide, the flooring completely ripped off and pieces of marble scattered everywhere. No single sword swing should have been capable of this level of destruction. And if he truly hadn't used any «Sacred Arts», then it could have only been «Incarnation». And goodness, what a volatile one this one was.

She couldn't sense anything anymore. Such was how «Incarnation» worked, she supposed. It lasted only as long as the person who imposed it upon the world maintained active focus. Once the person willed it away or fell unconscious, the effects would typically disappear as well. And the same applied here as well, adding yet another point to this being the usage of «Incarnation».

Her eyes shifted to the group of people in the distance. And what a sight it was. The culprit behind all of this destruction was currently lying on the floor, his head on his guardian's lap while Synthesis Two fussed over him from head to toe, despite his endless reassurances. His friends were sat near him, chatting excitedly. And Synthesis Twelve was discussing with Synthesis One (wait, when did he even return from his mission? She must have not noticed), who looked endlessly amused at what he'd been told.

"Seriously? Well I'll be. That's the last thing I could have ever expected when I literally just got back from Eastabarieth. Then again, it's you we're talking about, so maybe the fool's me for not believing in ya'."

"To be fair, you're not the only one who didn't expect this to work. Practically a shot in the dark."

"No kidding. You got it right away, based on what Scheta said. That there's impressive. Even us knights took time to get acclimatized to exerting our will, and we definitely started off small. This?" He gestured to the destruction. "What you did here was explosive—it's practically your style, though, so it still checks out. I'm speechless."

"For a guy who's speechless, you sure have a lot of things to say…"

A little snort escaped her, and all eyes fell upon her. Immediately, the knights saluted, metal snapping as their gauntlets struck their breastplates. Eugeo and Medina did the same, and just before Kirito was about to do so, she waved him off.

"At ease, boy. You certainly look like you could use the lying down," she smirked, hand on her hip. "And what's this, I hear? My knight told me that a certain someone had just unlocked a curious little power. Mind explaining to me what that was?"

"I used my «Incarnation»," he said, confirming that he knew of its existence. "Literally managed to pull it off at the very last moment," his head then turned in the direction of the training ring. "And I cut through the metal beam, just as Lady Scheta instructed. Or, well, blew that and a whole chunk of the room away."

"Blew a chunk of the room away is certainly an apt way to put it… It's as if an explosion went off in here."

"It was incredible!" Medina excitedly chirped. "You should have seen it, Lady Fanatio! It was unlike anything we had ever seen!"

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure no one here appreciates my blatant physical property destruction."

"Oh, it's fine. It won't be an issue fixing all of this up," the pontifex shrugged. "The question now is, how? How did you manage it? And where'd you even come upon it? I'm certain there were no sources that mentioned it," while her tone was singsong, she could feel the tension seeping into her voice. Even the boy recognized it, his expression becoming nervous. "Mind you, I'm not so upset by you unlocking it, though I'm left with an innumerable amount of questions that I dare hope you could enlighten me on."

"R-Right. Of course. So, um, it started like this…"

One month ago. That was how long it had been since he and his little group had come upon «Incarnation», and it had apparently been a hidden entry within her mentor's journal. While it was true that her mentor focused primarily on «Secret Techniques», it was more accurate to call it an account of advices, routines and discoveries, one of which included the aforementioned technique.

The fact that she had completely forgotten about that was a little embarrassing, though she was more interested in knowing what had transpired since they learnt of it. And the more she listened to him, the more she was impressed.

All that her mentor had ever written about was theoretical. More feelings-based than a step-by-step process like his «Secret Techniques». That was why meditation made sense; it serves to give a person a sense of calm, peace and balance for higher focus and greater control of their thoughts and emotions. Such a thing would, in essence, slowly enable a person to tap into their «Incarnation», minor as it may be.

The keyword there was minor. To fully exert one's will in the way that her knights were capable of, one had to overcome the limitations of logic and rely on total imagination to affect feasible change. Or, simply put, a person has to ignore limitations and logic in the world to then be able to alter reality, and that wasn't something easy to do. After all, what human could convince themselves to fly when they'd grown up their whole lives thinking that they were a species destined to walk for the rest of their lives?

That was why her knights were so effective at utilizing their willpowers. As they had been told to believe that they were divine beings from the other realm, they felt that they could do so much more than the average human, hence a more effective application of their will.

And here was Kirito, doing just the same, albeit with reckless abandon and no less amount of power. And perhaps subconsciously thinking less about making a clean cut and more about eradicating his target, which went to show just how devastating the effect was.

"And to know how it felt, I needed Lady Scheta to attack me at full power. She'd likely exert her «Incarnation» at that point, even if subconsciously, and that… well, it helped. I quickly grasped the feeling of it all, and I just copied it."

"It's not as easy as you make it sound," the pontifex replied, crossing her arms. "«Incarnation» isn't something that anyone can replicate so easily after a single instance. Even if you are a prodigy, it's something that's different for every individual, so it should have been impossible for you to have managed it right away. Plus, it takes a high level of concentration to do."

"I dunno' how to tell you, Your Eminence. That's just how it is."

Beside her, Chudelkin hissed at the boy lying on his guardian's lap. "Are you mocking Her Eminence, braaat?!"

"What? No! I'm just telling you what I know and did! Literally, that's it!"

"And what were you thinking in the moment?" Her question elicited confusion. "Let me rephrase that; when you were trying to activate your «Incarnation», what were the thoughts in your head? How were you feeling?"

For a moment, his expression seemed to harden, a phantom running across his eyes that he quickly hid behind closed eyes. He took in a breath, letting it go before looking at her once more.

"I thought I was going to die, and I got really desperate. I wanted power to match Lady Scheta's, and that was what."

So it did. Judging by the utter chaos left behind, he'd more than accomplished the goals he set out to do, even if it was a little overkill. But that he'd managed to unlock his «Incarnation» at all was a greater accomplishment than anything else, and showcased—perhaps—a sliver of what he could do.

She closed her eyes, trying to visualize the entire scenario. Of a boy forced to stand his ground against an unstoppable force, bolstered solely by fear and a grand dream of attaining a power written in her teacher's journal. And then he drew his blade, unlocking yet another part of his potential. And rather than cleave through the beam like paper, his «Incarnation» had pretty much blown right through the entire thing, but it destroyed much of the background as well.

The woman hummed, looking at the boy once more. Child that he may have been, how was it that he was making so many strides in so little time? It was just incredible.

"In case you're worried, you're not in trouble," her words drew relieved gazes from his friends. "I'm simply curious on a child like yourself attaining such a power in such short time. Yet again, you've caught me by surprise," a sly grin etched its way upon her expression. "I suppose I should get used to that notion, shouldn't I?"

"Ahaha… Well, let's hope it's not too frequent of an occasion…"

"Naturally, I would love to see a demonstration, if only to sate my curiosity," out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the worried look on both Scheta's and Fanatio's faces. Even Charlotte perked up, looking defensive. "But I doubt you would even be fit for that at the moment. «Incarnation» can be incredibly draining for first time users, so I would suggest that you take the rest of the day off. In fact, your friends can go as well."

"You sure? Maybe I could—"

"Don't even think about it," Fanatio chided, cutting him off. "I know what you're trying to do. You have it in your mind to continuously do things with no regard to your current state. That habit of yours hasn't changed since three years ago, in fact—just like when you attempted to train for an entire day in the rain just so you could 'improve your physique'."

"B-But, it worked, no?"

"And that left you so exhausted that you literally had to sleep in the entire next day! That is not healthy; that's just self-torture, and I won't have you repeating that stunt here, young man!"

Bercouli nodded. "While all of us encourage you to work hard, you've got to always keep track of your limit and know when to stop, kiddo. Just take her word for it."

"Aww…"

"Don't aww us, Kirito. As your mentor, I will see to your growth and your wellbeing. You will listen to Her Eminence and go rest in your room now."

"Umm… Anyone want to side with me on this one?" Everyone looked bemusedly at him. "Eugeo, Medina?"

"We're with Lady Fanatio on this one," Eugeo hummed, crossing his arms to make his stance clear. "Get some rest."

"Can't I at least get a sandwich?"

"Then I will send you to your room while Eugeo and Medina procures us some food," Charlotte said. Without warning, she suddenly hooked her hands underneath his back and under his leg, lifting him up. The boy squeaked in surprise, only to blush at the new position he was as he hooked his arms around her neck to stop himself from falling. "Thank you, Your Eminence. We shall take our leave."

"C-Charlotte! I'm tired, not disabled! I can walk!"

"Think of this as your punishment for continuously worrying us throughout our three years. Besides… you are cute like this."

"Oh yeah?! Well, you're one of the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life!" The ravenette faltered at that. "Hah! Not so fun when you're on the receiving end of teasing, aren't you?"

"…My arms suddenly feel tired. Maybe I could just drop this weight onto the ground like a sack of potatoes. Life would be so much easier that way."

"Erk… P-Please don't…"

Effectively silenced, the boy was hoisted away, his two friends bowing to her before they too followed after them. Chudelkin made a comment about the child being disruptive, but she paid him no mind, simply watching the disappearing figures of their group.

It was only after he'd disappeared from the room did Fanatio sigh. A deep, tired sound that carried years' worth of stress of dealing with the most troublesome child in the world. Beside her, Bercouli, laughed, patting her on the shoulder.

"I swear… That child never ceases to give me a heart attack. I wouldn't be surprised if that's how I meet my demise. Not at the end of an enemy's blade, but stress."

"Hah, you worry too much, Fanatio. I think it's healthy for kids to bring their fair share of troubles for us adults to deal with."

"I suppose… I just don't understand just how he's managed to do something like this. From the way he explained things, it seems so improbable."

"I felt the same," Scheta agreed. "Though, with how long they'd apparently been looking into «Incarnation», I suppose he had enough time to adapt to the idea of things. That is the first step to realize it."

"Just goes to show that he's special. He's one in a million, and nurturing his talents and skills will make him an even more effective fighter in the future," Bercouli said. "In fact, it would be great to work on that right away, don't you think?"

"Couldn't that at least wait until he's much older? He's still so young."

"He's fourteen."

"He's practically a child!" Fanatio's outburst caught them by surprise. "Gifted that he may be, that is no excuse to push him too much. In our three years of training, I and Charlotte both have had to stop him from breaking himself from overexertion countless of times. And I won't allow anyone to strain him too much to the point of snapping. He deserves much better than that."

The pontifex blinked. As did everyone, staring at the heated knightess who glared at everyone in the room, challenging them. Even her.

"Well," Bercouli said. "Someone's being protective of him. I'd even go so far as to call you his mother."

Where she'd just been infuriated a moment ago, his words shattered her vigour, leaving her flat-footed. "M-Mother?" She stuttered. "Nonsense! I'm not—That's! I..! I'm not!" Fanatio yelled, actually stomping her foot in indignation. "I am just having a healthy amount of worry for a child who is continuously putting himself in dangerous, risky situations when he doesn't even need to!"

"I don't think—" When her glare deepened, he raised his arms in defense. "Okay, you win. That's normal. But there's also no denying the fact that you really care about him a lot. Like, I don't think I've seen you this worried about anyone as much as you have with him. It's kind of sweet."

"It's like I said; he knows his limits, and proceeds to see just how much further he can push himself with no regard for safety or rest. Frankly, it's ridiculous, and I hope that one day I could get him to sit still for a single hour just so I can cure my headaches."

As she spoke, the smile on the oldest knight's face grew, amusement and relief palpable. "Well, it's good to know that they've got you looking after them alongside Scheta and Charlotte. And knowing you, you'll be looking after them for a lot longer, huh?"

"For as long as needed."

And though it would have sounded dismissive or annoyed, there was a hopeful lilt to her voice. It was a strange thing to consider, and only cemented the fact that, for all the troubles that he must have brought her over the years, the woman was genuinely endeared by the boy. She supposed that was a good thing.

The pontifex hummed. "Well then," she said, everyone looking at her. "I suppose we can leave it there for now. Considering that he's completed your assignment, Scheta, what will you have him do?"

The knightess in question hummed, pondering over the question before speaking once more. "I suppose I will have him resume training as per usual," she said. "Of course, I will prioritize the other two's trainings so that they, too, could complete their assignments."

And while a part of her liked to think that maybe they could do the same, there was a bigger voice in her head that rejected the notion. They were hardworking and talented, but not to the extent of the black-haired brat, who had shown a startingly high affinity and speed of learning a variety of things that clearly made him an anomaly.

Well, there was no knowing how things will progress with the remaining two. Hopefully, they might show the same level of adaptiveness as he had. And even if they didn't, well, perhaps they'd just surprise her in other ways.

If there had been days that was quite a day, then today was absolutely that.

Charlotte hummed as she carried her charge down the corridor, nodding to any passing servants. To their credit, they did a good job of ignoring the very bizarre sight of a boy in her arms, though she could sense the discreet glances shot her way once she moved far away from them, certainly confused and perhaps amused at the sight.

"Well, this stinks," her charge in her arms pouted, looking every bit like a frazzled cat. The imagery in her mind was no less amusing as it was adorable. "You're having a lot of fun out of this, aren't you?"

"I most certainly am," her lips tugged into a lithe smile. "It's not often I find you in a pregnable state such as this. You can rest assured, however, that I bear no intention to humiliate you."

"I'm feeling humiliated enough already, so you've technically failed on that front."

Someone was being sassy. She opted to let him have that, if only it made him feel a little better. Besides, this was standard fare for him; he does tend to let his tongue wag whenever he was in a bad poor or greatly exhausted. Fortunately, it was never to an unhealthy extent.

Stepping into his room, the ravenette stepped close to his bed. The sheets were made and the pillow fluffed up. Even when he seemed brash and inattentive to tidiness, years of living in the orphanage had instilled this sense of responsibility and conscientiousness in him. Gently, she lowered his body onto the mattress, then pulled the sheets over him.

"Do you need water?"

"Maybe later. I kind of just want to lay in for a bit."

"Weren't you asking for food earlier?"

"I was, but I just… feel pretty tired now, for some reason."

Likely the adrenaline having finally flushed out of his system, and exhaustion creeping in. She'd seen this plenty of times from the boy already. "I suppose I'll stay with you," she told him, pulling a chair and sitting beside him. Her hands found his, beginning to massage them. While she wasn't the best at it, it would be enough to help him relax. "To keep you company, and make sure you don't fall asleep."

"That would be nice."

"Is there anything you'd like in the meantime? A story, a song…"

"No, it's fine. You being here is enough."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't mind doing anything that you would request of me."

"Mmhm."

Even when he said that, she found her hands in his hair, brushing his head gently. "I apologize if I come off as too demanding. I'll admit, I'm still a little shaken by what I'd heard, and I'm staying close to you to calm myself."

After all, the thought that a young boy like himself could have somehow awakened his «Incarnation» so suddenly and so soon was… well, she supposed she should have expected such a thing out of him, yet here she was, still being surprised when Selena quickly reached out to her.

She didn't know what that meant. And yet, she'd quickly left her benefactor's side, apologizing yet intending strongly to make sure that the boy was alright.

To her relief, he hadn't exploded, merely exhausted at the end of it. And that was good.

"You really don't have to treat me like a little kid."

"But I enjoy doing this," the words caught him by surprise, jet black eyes going wide. Charlotte smiled back. "It's… a strange feeling. But having raised you and Eugeo for all these three years, I admit to finding some level of enjoyment and happiness in doing so."

"That's… You're doing this on purpose to embarrass me after what I said earlier, aren't you?"

"For certain, though it would also be accurate to say that I'm taking a page out of your book and being honest about my feelings. And I admire that about you; the way you could so easily say what you feel out loud without a care," her eyes found his hands, fingers brushing over the back of his palm slowly. "I don't despise who I was, but I much prefer this gradual change. I feel more at ease with the people who matter to me. And I could never find a better comfort than that."

His eyes searched her, and there were so many emotions racing through his eyes. Happiness, embarrassment, and relief.

"I… I'm happy to hear that," it wasn't always that he allowed himself to sound so soft, so vulnerable, and she relished in this moment. "Sorry if I worried you. And thank you for coming."

"It goes without saying. Besides, I've made many promises to Sister Azalia, Sulinea and Sadina to watch over you and Eugeo. I would give nothing less than my all in such a task."

"Heh… To think that the mysterious lady who came to save us in those woods ended up becoming our guardian…"

A strange turn of events, that was. But she supposed that was just how life operated. At this point, the boys were nothing but family to her, something she cherished more than she would have thought she would. Three years living together would do that for anyone. And the fact that both of them shared the sentiment towards her was heartwarming.

And yet, despite it all, a part of her couldn't help but wonder.

"Kirito, you…" She paused when he turned his gaze towards her. "Actually, never mind. Ignore me."

"Aww, don't backtrack now. Come on, finish your sentence, though I'm hoping it isn't an insult."

"It's nothing like that, no. I was just… curious," she said. "About your family situation."

"Ah, that? Well, that makes the two of us," he hummed. He didn't sound upset or angry. Merely wondering. "I showed up in the orphanage years ago, when I was still a babe. Sister Azalia told me how I was left in a little basket with my name written on it, and she had no idea who it was, which literally meant I was all on my own."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhm. Granted, the dark god Vecta tends to whisk children away, though stories often mention him having wiped their memories. Then again, there's no memories to wipe from a baby, so I guess that alone was enough."

"I see…"

"Yeah, he's an asshole."

Somehow, his blatant cursing of the Dark Territory's deity was completely within her expectations. She couldn't help but chuckle. "I do suggest you don't say that out loud. You never know if someone might take offense to that."

"Yeah, I'll be careful. Either way, I don't really mind it all. I've been the happiest I've ever been with all my family back home in that little orphanage, alongside Eugeo and… and Alice," he took in a breath. "And you and Fanatio too, of course."

"I'm glad to hear that—"

"My name was Faith."

The words came so suddenly that she had to take time to absorb what he said, eventually blurting out in confusion, "What?"

"That was the name written in the basket. Faith. Could mean that it was the name my parents gave to me, or that Vecta left it for me. Or it could have all been made up. Who knows."

"I… see. But your name is Kirito now."

"I asked Sister Azalia to give me a new name," the response surprised her even more. "I've always thought in my head that Faith was the name of the child birthed to two loving parents. And as far as I know, that person is gone. All that's left now is me, and I wanted something new to call my own. Kirito ended up being the name Sister Azalia made up, if only because those were some of the easiest syllables I could pronounce at the time."

"That's… This is the most oddest backstory I would have ever discovered of you. How'd I only know now?"

"Because I just didn't see the reason to share it with anyone. Not like either of us were against it, of course," he shrugged. "Only ones who know are now me, you and Sister Azalia."

"You didn't tell Eugeo and Alice?"

"Again, I don't really see the need to.

As simple of a reason as it could get. She hadn't asked that question expecting more, and to receive such a response practically confirmed it.

Still, it was a unique name. Faith. It could mean a confidence or trust in another thing, or a belief in the goddesses or religion. Or, perhaps, a strong conviction within the soul that could not be shackled by anything in the world.

Somehow, the name made sense for the boy before her. Peasant-born as he was, he walked with his head held high and with aspirations of achieving many a great thing in life. It was admirable, and she had to wonder if he kept that name close in his heart; a reminder of who he could have been, and choosing to uphold the legacy of his old self. It seemed poetic.

And, knowing her charge, she knew there was more to come.

Author's Notes:

A shorter chapter this time, though I think it's a good place to cut off for now.

In case you missed it in the latest chapter of Nothing Holy About Her, I was on a two weeks' trip to a village off in yonder to do a health programme for my college. Everything went great! Typical upsets and dramas and the like, but overall, everything was great.

Not so great was going back to college for a week of studying and seminars, and having exams this week on Wednesday and Thursday. And guess what? I haven't studied yet! So it all comes down to the power of last minute revision, brute forcing, guesswork and praying.

And yeah, a lot of you would roll your eyes, but trust me; every single day in those two weeks were busy as heck. Glad to be back and writing once again.