Sakura was freaking out.
Kakashi had been gone when she'd awoken that morning-the morning of her wedding day-and she'd gotten up more leisurely than she probably should have. Her morning had been rather peaceful, in fact.
But now that she was getting her makeup done by a Senju artist in her kitchen, her peace was falling apart. Her mother was flitting around her like a helicopter, and her father had conspicuously disappeared.
They had around 2 hours before the ceremony, and they had a bit of a job to do. The cut on Sakura's neck needed to be carefully concealed, her kimono needed to be carefully arranged to hide any bruises that make try to peek out from training. She'd taken stock of all of them last night, standing naked before her floor to ceiling mirror, everyone else locked out. There was a good spread on her arms and legs, a huge one on the center of her spine, and one creeping over her left shoulder.
Under the white robe she was wearing for her makeup, she was wearing the lingerie gifted to her by Ino, the belt and garters in place. She'd felt pretty sexy when she put them on, but now she felt a bit silly. This marriage was a sham. Kakashi wouldn't be interested in her undergarments, or what was under those undergarments. And the bruises made a sharp contrast to the light lingerie, the darkness more stark.
With her mother's too close attention and the knowledge that she was about to sign herself away, her nerves were fraying. She was marrying a man she really didn't know that well, and who had lied to her. A man who saw her only as a task, a means to an end.
Her heart screamed that none of those things were really true.
God, what was she doing?
Sakura caught her own eyes in the mirror that sat on the counter before her, and was startled to see how unbothered her face appeared, as smooth and calm as glass, perfectly concealing the storm beneath.
That was right. She wasn't some silly little girl getting cold feet. She was the star of Senju entertainment, the idol angel of the Land of Fire. She was Haruno Sakura, damn it, and she would not be controlled by childish nerves. Her emotions the last 36 hours had been entirely out of whack and all over the place. Things had been out of control lately, but this day, she was taking some back. She was grabbing her life by the reins and yanking, like she had done all those years ago the first time she'd fled the Land of Rain. She wasn't just Kakashi's means to an end, he was hers, too. In the years of neglect of her childhood and rising from it, Sakura had been forged into something unbreakable, and sometimes, cruel. She was simply a product of that. Those years had prepared her to face down the entire world, even her own wedding day, and the man attached.
And if maybe she wanted him to appreciate the lingerie, there was nothing wrong with that.
Calm settled over her body and mind, confidence filling her and pushing back her weaker thoughts. She'd allowed herself yesterday to feel pathetic; today that ended. Today she was a living storm again, unstoppable and untamable.
Today she was getting exactly what she'd asked for. Sakura grinned at her reflection.
Adorned in her gorgeous shiromuku, Sakura slid into her leather backseat with her parents, careful not to wrinkle any of the smooth silk. Chiyo had outdone herself, as per usual. The garments were white and the lightest, softest pink, with sakura blossom details so life-like they took her breath away. Sakura felt regal, draped in her wedding clothes and wrapped up like an empress. She had a little silk pouch purse on her lap, and a matching hand fan that she tapped against her thigh as they drove, ignoring her parents resolutely. Sakura's hair was pulled up and back, with a pearl comb that was shaped like a flower, and little pearl bobby pins holding the fly-aways in place. Her jewelry was silver, as it always was, and her engagement ring now sat on her right ring finger.
Chiyo had gifted her and Kakashi more modern wedding garb as well, for changing for the reception, as was the trend these days. She'd custom designed Sakura's wedding dress and his tux, working secretively as a surprise to the couple.
No other cars followed them up the highway to the little shinto temple north of the city, fans' attention having been pulled elsewhere by a ruse Yugao had leaked to the press. Sakura had insisted on privacy, and she'd be damned if it wasn't delivered today.
"Sakura, stop fidgeting," Her mother admonished, reaching out and smacking her daughter's tapping hands. Sakura scowled but obeyed, forcing herself to stillness.
The SUV pulled to a stop in a little parking lot across from the temple, a gorgeous and ancient work of architecture which sat at the crest of a hill. Stones steps led up to the open doorway, and lanterns had already been lit lighting the way up. It was officially November, so the trees were all but bare, though the grass on the hill stubbornly held to their green color. In lieu of leaves, the trees directly surrounding the temple had been draped in tiny glass lanterns of multiple colors, equally tiny candles burning within them. She didn't want to think about how tedious the task of lighting them all must have been, but she appreciated the effort. It gave the temple the appearance of existing in a different world, the kind where old gods stole young maidens and whisked them away or caused mischief.
The evening air was beginning to chill, though Sakura was unbothered through her layers and layers of fabric. Her parents were also dressed traditionally, looking elegant and put together as they always did.
Sakura led the way up the stairs, her sandals clicking on the stone, the sound echoed by her mom and dad. At the top, she found the temple priest waiting for them, a short old man who looked vaguely like he'd like to be anywhere else, but waved them inside regardless. He was entirely uninterested in Sakura's identity, which was for the best. Priests had greater, more existential things to worry about.
As she stepped into the main room of the shrine, her eyes clashed against Kakashi's. His pupils blew wide.
Kakashi looked like the moon on a starless night. He was in his own traditional kimono, its colors in dark blues and whites, which suited him well. His silver hair was no less spikey than it ever was, and his mask was firmly in place, though for today he was wearing one that was dyed a deep blue. She was amazed the mask didn't ruin the effect of his outfit, but damn, the man pulled it off. His hands were bare of their gloves, his fingers perfectly still. His lack of movement was exactly what Sakura had come to expect of him. He was perfectly focused.
Beside him, standing tall and looking dashing, was Guy. Seeing him in something other than his usual green jumpsuit gave Sakura pause as she absorbed the image of him in a simple black yukata, his hair neatly combed. She was a little surprised that this was who Kakashi had elected to bring as his family, but the affection radiating from Guy was impossible to miss. The older man looked ready to burst from excitement for his friend. No, not his friend, his brother, Sakura realized as she watched him loop an arm around Kakashi's neck, the silver haired man releasing a low, almost nervous laugh. Beside them was Mr. Hisashi, the immigration agent, looking smart in a black suit and gold tie, a smile splitting his kind face.
Sakura's father wrapped her up in his arms, perhaps more genuinely than he had ever before in her life, lifting her feet off of the floor.
"Dad," She shoved away from him, pursing her lips. Sakura's mother pulled her in next, squeezing her tight and making a girlish sound that was far from the woman Sakura knew. Sakura straightened her kimono.
"I-" She turned her attention back to her groom, who looked like he'd been struck by something. "I need a moment,"
And then he was gone, sliding back outside, much to the chagrin of the priest and her parents. Sakura stood still a moment, her brain not processing.
Then she was out the door, following after him into the brisk air and around the corner of the temple, where she found him with his forehead pressed to the external wall, eyes fixed on a warp in the wood before him.
She stopped behind him, torn between irritation and confusion.
"What's going on?" She demanded, settling on her tone being somewhere in the middle. "Do you have some other life changing revelation?" Please God, not another one. Was he also secretly the president of the country? Was he secretly a prince? Was his name even Kakashi?
"I forgot, ok?" He panted, his back resolutely to her. A tremor ran down his spine while alarm shot down Sakura's.
"What?" He had forgotten what? The rings? How to be a normal person?
He spun back towards her suddenly, his eyes full of pain. "I forgot what it was like. To have a family," He held her eyes, his own shadowed, his brows drawn down over them. They were imploring her, but for what she had no idea. "Release me from our deal," He pulled her closer by her shoulders, insistent.
Sakura looked at him like he had lost his mind. "No?" They had not come this far for him to back out on her. On the wedding day. He pulled back as abruptly as he'd gotten close, running a hand through his hair and causing it to stand up even more.
"Your parents love you, and your friends. I can't do this to them, to- to you." He began to pace, his voice so soft she almost couldn't hear it. She briefly considered slapping him to snap him out of whatever sad mood was currently possessing him. She dismissed the thought. She knew what he was getting at, but she was taken aback by him being so thoroughly affected by it. Her heart ached for him, for what he thought he was doing and missing out on.
"Kakashi," she said, trying to snag his attention. Who knew he'd fall apart like this? Where was that cold soldier? "I think you're wildly over-thinking this." He continued his pacing, so she stepped in front of his path, causing him to halt. "They love me, yeah, but they would understand that my life here is everything, and that I'll do anything to stay. We already agreed. Don't go growing a conscious now." She lifted her brows at him. She was carefully trying not to sound whiney.
"I-" He started, but she wasn't done.
"And you do know what it's like to have a family," from the look on his face, she wondered if that had been the wrong thing to say, but she forged ahead regardless. "Your friends are your family. Ask any one of them and I guarantee they would confirm. This agreement. . . it doesn't have to be some bad thing," She shrugged, running out of words. She had seen the way Kakashi interacted with the other guards, the quiet jokes, the competitions. "We're going to be a family, too. At least for a while."
His grey sky eyes had lightened a little, and she knew deep down that he had always known his friends were his family. He had always had a family. And the idea of them being a family made something inside of her warm, light.
His hands steady once more, he reached up and tugged on a loose curl by her ear. "Right." He nodded firmly, once, to himself.
"You and I are choosing this, together, right? And that's what marriage is." He nodded again, this time with even more conviction. She was almost touched by how worked up he'd been for the sake of her friends and family, but she'd been telling the truth. None of them would hold a marriage of convenience over her head, even if they didn't personally approve. Well, her parents might baulk at the illegality, but oh well.
"Right." He confirmed, the last of his nerves seeming to settle. This was a man with a job to do, but it was of his own free volition, and nothing was going to get in his way.
"Besides, who needs love in a marriage these days?" She joked, but it fell flat. Kakashi's face shuddered, his expression locked down. Love. Could they ever have that? After the lies and the schemes?
You didn't need love to write a love song, Sakura knew. She'd been infatuated with Sasuke for years, but her love songs had always been excellent. Maybe you didn't need to love in a marriage, just mutual respect and feelings that almost made it?
"Right," He agreed again, his eyes tight. Sakura was not going to examine that response.
She shrugged, trying to lessen the impact of her words. "Who's to say?" Who's to say it's loveless? Or will always be loveless?
Kakashi met her eyes with something she didn't recognize shining in them.
She took his hand, cool and callused, in hers, and led the way back inside the temple, where the priest, Mr. Hisashi, and their families were waiting.
She stood across from Kakashi in the shrine while the priest went through his motions, purifying them, and then while Kakashi read some traditional lines of commitment, his eyes carefully withholding any emotions. Sakura nudged him with her elbow, and offered him a demur smile, a reminder for him to act a little more like a man on his wedding day. A softer expression graced his face, like the sun cresting the eastern horizon, marred slightly by a tightening around his eyes. The priest handed them each a cup of sake, which they drank together, the burn nearly causing Sakura to sputter. Kakashi's expression didn't change, his eyes still tight.
It was over almost as fast as it had begun, their symbolic offerings in a dish on the altar, Guy handing Kakashi the ring box from within his yukata, Sakura accepting her ring box from her mother.
She stepped up a little closer to Kakashi for this, not even a foot separating them. Here was that event horizon again, the same one she had felt 10 days ago, at the beginning of this bargain, and she stepped over the edge as she opened her box, plunged into the unknown.
The ring she'd picked was a simple silver band, hand carved with the symbol of the land of fire on the inside. It was lovely and subtle, just like its new owner. Kakashi watched raptly as she took his left hand and slipped the ring onto his finger, the metal fitting perfectly and gleaming from its place against his skin. Something shifted in his gaze as he took her hand in his, an identical silver ring in his deft fingers.
As he put it on her, she could have sworn he was smiling, genuinely. She could have sworn his touch was just a little reverent, like a non-believer in a church, wondering if just maybe someone was listening.
Guy cheered, jumping forward and wrapping them both into a bear hug. "Oh, the wonders of such youth!" He exclaimed, tears glimmering in his eyes.
Kakashi pushed him away, but there was no ire in the action.
"Now, the kiss!" Guy insisted, and everyone seemed to lean in; Mr. Hisashi, her parents, even the clearly bored priest.
Sakura gave them all a smug smile as she unfurled her fan, hiding their faces from sight. She had only intended to pretend, but everything in her went still as Kakashi slowly lifted a hand-the one with the silver wedding band shining on his ring finger-and hooked his index finger under the lip of his mask. She had not expected this, had not expected him to ever show her what was under the mask, to let her past that wall. Sure, he'd pulled it down in front of her before, but he'd never actually let her see him. She wasn't hurt by that, either. His boundaries were his, and not even her popstar ass would insist on violating them. (Well, maybe a little).
Sakura's eyes went wide as he tugged, not looking away from her face as he revealed himself to her. The fan began to dip, her arm going slack with her shock, and Kakashi's other hand shot up, holding her wrist in place to maintain their screen of privacy.
"Kakashi," She breathed, taking in his straight nose, his full lips, the little freckle under his bottom lip, and the strong chin as they appeared one after another.
He was beautiful. She'd originally guessed he wore the mask to conceal his scars, but perhaps he was sparing himself the attention. He did have scars, little one flecking his cheeks, the one over his eye, one white one cutting through his top lip just slightly, but it only made him harder to look away from.
He was not classically handsome, not like the models she was around with regularity. His cheek bones were not overly prominent, but they were strong and hewn from granite all the same. He was a testament to a young man who had seen war and come back, and was still able to smile. He had the suggestion of a dimple in his right cheek, and she knew without a doubt that when he smiled or smirked, it would deepen into adorable perfection. She could not have imagined him with any more perfection than God had clearly already created him with. Thank God he covered his face, or the crowds that already hindered Sakura would triple in size from women with raging hormones.
"Sakura," Her name on those gorgeous fucking lips was a song, only a whisper of a breath. She had felt the world call her from a million different directions, but never had she felt the call as strongly as that quiet exhalation. Apprehension seemed to melt from him, as though he had braced for her reaction.
Slowly, she brought up her left hand and touched his lips. They were as soft as they had felt under her own, and she felt a grin sliding over her face.
They moved at the same time, her fingertips falling away so that she could meet his lips with hers.
She was obliterated by him in that moment, which lasted less than a heartbeat. He did not dip her, or deepen the kiss, only brushed his against her reverently, then pulled away, his mask once more fixed over his features.
It left Sakura reeling, everything a blur as they and the priest signed the marriage license, as the immigration agent congratulated her, as her parents hugged her and clapped Kakashi on the back, as they were ushered back outside and into her waiting SUV, Tenzo leaning against the hood in a suit, a pleasant smile fixed to his face.
Sakura was forever altered by the events of the last hour, and now she had no idea what to do.
So she simply went along, swept towards her own wedding reception, her new groom by her side.