The sound tapping of clacks and clicks flood the room. That's all you hear from the outside looking in. What you would see looking in on this young woman's life.
Was a woman named Elizabeth Arcana in her 20's. About 25 to be exact, halfway to 30. With long brown hair tied in a bun, her bright green eyes staring blankly in front of her. Her round glasses hung low on her nose. Her complexion was pale and her eyes were red and dry, with dark circles under them. A fairly thin woman, thinner as days passed. She is currently delved deep into a new world that is entirely different from her own reality. A world where there is magic, dragons, and lore.
A world where you can do anything, be anything!
Going on a quest for self preservation, becoming a hero, or domination. All while having the chance to understand the real meaning of true friendship. Maybe even find love with faithful companions who travel with her and fight by her side. Adventure and romance all packed into one. Where the choices are hers and the battles are legendary. A quest worthy of abandoning her reality, to make one of her own where she was surrounded by wonderful friends. If she had people to play the board game version with, with real friends. She would be thrilled to get the opportunity.
However that can't be possible, she would have to make a real friend first.
In her memory when she was young, she was awful at making friends, she was an introvert. She kept to herself often. Others already had it in their head who she was and didn't bother to understand what she was going through. They judged her and so she stayed to herself.
Elizabeth spent most of her life living inside her own imagination for friends and comfort. She kept that habit all her life, now she was lonely and had no one to cherish as an adult. She always knew that she was better off alone anyway.
No one could understand…
So, since it wasn't an option to play with someone else and thanks to the advances in technology. Now she can play solo! Although now it feels like she isn't alone, she has the company of her fellow travelers. All with the same curse that plagued them. It's way better than the board game, the people here feel alive and real… More real than REAL people.
All who she grew to adore in their own ways.….
Her own world of laughter, danger, excitement, and wonders of a fantasy/romance.
Something she felt she could never have in real life…
Here, She can at least feel a sliver of what it could actually be like.
To feel free..
To feel loved and appreciated.
To feel alive…
To do things that aren't the average, boring, and mundane life. She abandoned her real life, limiting it to this box in front of her.
That's all her little world was unfortunately. Not a box with real magic. Just the regular highly advanced technology of the 21st century.
A screen.
A game.
She was sitting in a chair, comfy enough for periodically long hours of lounging in front of it. A desk covered in cups and plates. Dirty dishes of the meals she made days ago. Empty bags of chips, dirty clothes, and the smell of mildew from wet towels she left on the floor. That was the real scene of her life. Her room is one of the many responsibilities she came to ignore. It wasn't long till she ignored hunger, showers, and sleep as well.
All to get to know the companions she treasured so dearly…
Fictional characters... not real friends…
Although, these "people" fight hard to stay beside her… FOR her… They face many demons and monsters that torture the innocents and threaten the lives of many, including her and her friends. They still fight and choose to stay by her side, no matter the challenges. They followed her wherever she wanted to go. They have done more than any people in real life have ever done for her. They were like her family.
They taught her things she never would have learned in real life, how to keep going everyday in the real world. As something to look forward to coming home, until eventually she just stayed home and didn't go back out into the world.
These people help her to face these supposed impossible challenges with all of their strengths and weaknesses they have combined. They can save other people, not just themselves, or destroy everything in sight. All while on a thrilling daring adventure with beautiful beings. She can learn more about them and they learn to trust her. They long to be there for her, even love her. They have their quirks, but that's what makes them unique and interesting to talk to. They never leave you as long as you are a good friend…
Even for "people" that are in reality just 1's and 0's. Even if they were just a code and their voices are played by actors. Even if they are all following a dialogue by someone's choices… She grew to love each and every one of them dearly.
Karlach: The fearless Tiefling with an infernal engine for a heart. She is a skilled demon slayer. Only because she was sold to Zariel and sent to the Hells by the one person she trusted the most. She was forced to fight for the last 10 years in the Blood War of the Hells. When she got ripped out of Avernus by an illithid ship and brought back a good distance from her old home, Baldur's Gate. For someone that had their heart taken from her, she has the biggest heart of all of them. All she wants is to be free of Avernus, free to laugh, and free to be with her friends till she meets her end... She protects the innocent and is crazy strong. What she wants more than anything is to touch someone. To be held in a hug, when she can't. To feel another person's comfort, when her body is too hot to have someone to even stand close to her. She acts more like a big child. A happy go lucky child, that has BIG temper tantrums when it comes to someone threatening her and her friends. She is sweet, caring, and loves her people. If someone is lucky to become one of them, and Elizabeth was.
Lay'zel: A powerful Githyanki fighter. Bred for war and ruthless by nature. Hater of the weak and helpless. Only because she was raised to and was brutally trained into thinking like it. She was shifted to be borderline racist, never to show mercy to anyone but other Gith. But sometimes not even to their own kind… If they were weak, they were slaughtered. Even though Lay'zel can be cruel and a deadly killer. She might have more heart than she leads on to have. She is a frightening foe and a worthy ally. Once someone earns her trust, and helps her to see the lies of her Queen. Help her discover Vlaakith was breeding her people to be powerful, so she can use them to propel her to Godhood. (By eating them) Lay'zel will defend Elizabeth regardless of her race, if she keeps her promise to help Lay'zel free her people. She can be taught to see Elizabeth as an equal. Lay'zel even learned to call her a friend. It meant the world to Elizabeth all the same. She did try to come onto her a few times, it could have gone further. But… Elizabeth had eyes for someone else…
Shadowheart: A cleric of the Lady Shar, worshiper of darkness and loss. Although, it is a rather scary line of worship. She's just a lost girl looking for a place she belongs, to find home. She's not a big fan of Lay'zel at first, but they settle their differences and use their hate for each other on their enemies. Once Elizabeth listens to Shadowheart and lets her know she is safe to speak about her religion. Shadowheart is a wonderful ally. Strong, brave, and a seeker of who she really is. She will seek Elizabeth's advice and blossom in the sun away from her goddess, Lady Shar. Who is actually using her to spread her evil. The goddess erased Shadowhearts memory and kidnapped her parents. Darkness and loss honestly shouldn't be a big surprise; it's a form of evil. She blinds people in the dark and rips them of their pain and loss. Taking their precious memories, to shape them to do her will. Shadowheart faces a difficult decision and still looks to Elizabeth for advice. She can be seen as a trusted ally. Shadowheart can learn to be herself without Lady Shar. Elizabeth saved her, helped her, and was worthy to be called more than a friend, she was family.
Wyll: The Blade of Frontiers, a powerful warlock, the protector of innocents, and slayer of evil. He has a big heart, dedicated to protecting people who couldn't protect themselves. At first, he was on the hunt for Karlach herself, judging her to be no better than the demons and monsters he usually hunted. She was a victim of the Blood war, not an agent of it. Once he is shown she was actually forced to fight, Wyll sees reason. Risking his contract he had with a Devil Mizora. He made a deal with the devil for his powers to save his village from destruction. If he ever disobeyed her orders, abandoning his duty to contract to not kill Karlach. He was punished. Cursed to be a demon for all eternity as a result. Karlach and Wyll become great friends in the end, best friends. At least that's the only choice Elizabeth wanted. She hated seeing them kill each other, especially after she got to know them. They make a great team. Wyll is a loyal friend, a great hero, and one day earns the title the Blade of Avernus.
Gale: A powerful, hilarious wizard. Once a lover to Magic itself, Mystra Goddess of the weave. All while cursed under a powerful magic. He got it by trying to prove his love to the goddess of magic. Now single and cursed to consume items of magic to settle the magic orb's hunger infused within him. He then discovers he's actually a ticking bomb, with a powerful magical explosion that could wipe out a city. It was able to be prevented until suddenly it wasn't. As Elizabeth gets to know him his effects worsen, he can no longer absorb magical items. They have little effect as time progresses. Then he gets tasked by Mystra to bomb the Cult of the Absolute, a great threat... So basically, his EX asked him to kill himself for the greater good…She didn't even face him herself! She sent the old man wizard! By this time Elizabeth has already learned he's just a man with a lot of ambition. Who cares deeply and shows he cares in big ways. Only to pay a big price for it. He feels guilty for mistakes and for putting his new friends in danger. In the end Gale makes up for it once Elizabeth saves him of his fate, and he is freed of his orb. He is happy to call Elizabeth a friend.
Last but not least, the one she treasured and loved most of all was:
Astarion: The White haired, red eyed Elf. That she was mesmerized by. Ever since she first laid eyes on him. The first time she heard his voice it sent shivers down her spine. She was eager to know more about him. Learn about his troubled past and treat him the kindness he was never shown. He is actually Vampire spawn, he spent the last 200 years as a slave to his master, Cazador. A being that is unbelievably cruel and enjoys torturing his spawn. Cazador carved runes into their backs to use their lives for a ritual. He did it to all of his spawn, to people he turned who were brought to him by Astarion and the other six original spawn. For the Ritual of Ascension, to ascend to become the ultimate vampire. One who doesn't feel the hunger of a vampire and can walk in the sun freely. The more she got to know Astarion, the more she felt his pain. She understood him more than anyone. The more she wanted to keep him safe and show him he is capable of being loved. Showing him love can save him from himself. Keep him from continuing the cruelty that had been passed down over the centuries by someone else. He can be shown it's not so bad being a hero, even if at first his natural instinct was to be selfish and untrusting. Elizabeth can show him the beauty of kindness and that he is capable of love. Capable of living again. Same as her. He treasured her. He said he loved her. She had trouble knowing what love felt like…That was like this… He showed her glimpses of what it's like to be loved.
They all did.
They were her family in this world.
And yet…
No matter how much of a good friend she ever was to anyone she met in the real world. She suffered…
They took advantage of her weaknesses, bent her to their liking, and didn't care about the damage they were doing to her….
All so THEY could be happy…
No matter how hard she tried to make someone happy just being herself… It wasn't enough…
It's all she ever wanted. Was to make someone smile and laugh being her true self. The version of her others took from her or told her it wasn't who she should be…
Why are all the people in the real world so cruel?…
Why are they so angry?
So sad?…
Why can't she be herself?
Why don't people trust?
Why can't people be trusted?
Why was it so lonely?
Why did she have to be…
Alone…?
Is this how life was meant to be?
She tries so hard to make friends but nobody cares to bother. She just wanted the chance to talk to someone and have a real friend to talk to and laugh with.
Her own blood didn't even care to get to know her….
It's just her and her grandmother.
How long ago has it been now?
She stopped going to work and stopped looking at the 'hours played' after 400. She beat it 4 times now and was currently close to beating it for the 5th round. Getting the good ending she fought hard for every time as a half Wood Elf/Tiefling. She always loved being a bard with a lyre or violin. She played all the instruments in the game though. She would always teach her crew a little too. Making them into a traveling killer band! To get the race she wanted, she used mods to achieve it. She was a sucker for horns and tails and loved the abilities of a wood elf. She changed up her character's look a lot throughout, but she mostly kept it the same.
A female with long red horns with light blue tips, light pink skin and lovely long white hair with pink highlights. All of it with a beautiful pair of heterochromic eyes. The left eye with a scar is a demonic white with pink around the iris, the right an elf winter blue.
Her favorite run so far has been The Dark Urge playthrough. Its story is mysterious and thrilling. She loved the ending if she refused Bhaals gift. She couldn't forgive herself if she let herself be consumed by Bhaal's blood and bring harm to any of her friends. She would rather die than hurt them…
If any of them died Elizabeth panicked immediately, begging Withers to bring them back when she ran out of scrolls. She concerned her Grandmother when she started screaming every time Asterion got killed. Although, after last time she promised to keep it down. There was a lot of screaming in the middle of the night that Gran finally had enough of.
She lived with Gran after she lost her apartment, she couldn't afford it after her job "cut her hours." When in reality she was playing too much Baldur's Gate… She at least had her PC and clothes, that's all that mattered to her. She moved back into her old room. Where she locked herself in and hardly left, the memories of many years she felt loneliness in this room haunting her.
But, she didn't feel it anymore, all thanks to them… and their journey to Baldur's Gate…
Unfortunately, Elizabeth's room wasn't just her own, since it was inside her Grandmother's house. Gran has a free pass to invade whenever she wishes, especially when she gets fed up with her adult granddaughter "wasting her life away."
The door to her room bursts open and a stern voice she hasn't heard in a while finally emerges with familiar phrases. Coming from the older woman that is a spitting image of Elizabeth if she had white hair and wrinkles…
Only her hair was short and her glasses were edged, not round.
"Alright! That's it! I've had it with this game, Liz!"
Elizabeth swivels around in her chair to face her Grandmother, annoyed by the sudden intrusion. She replied to Gran sarcastically and disrespectfully.
"OK, Why? What's so wrong about the game now?"
"Don't you have that tone with me, you respect your elders! We are tired of this game taking away your precious time. You need sunlight and fresh air. With real relationships! You've been in this room for over a month now!"
Elizabeth's anger fades as she begins to let it sink in on all the time that flew by already.
How many times has she played?
She then notices a particular word her Gran used that confused her instead.
"We?"
Gran turns her head to the doorway and waves for someone to enter, a familiar figure walks through as she holds her head low.
Her short red hair that stops at her shoulders, petite in shape and size, and has always been shy and sweet by nature.
"Cat?"
The woman lifts her head to make eye contact with Elizabeth and stares in silence looking her over for a moment with amber eyes. Concern showing on her face till she finally speaks with her delicate voice.
"Liz… You don't look so good… We… We need you back… and even your sad songs. You belong with us. Daniel says he will still let you come back in like you never left."
Elizabeth's anger rose again, those aren't Cat's words, they are her Grans. Cat said words that were similar to Grans last argument.
Gran involved herself enough to drag her past into nagging at her too… just great…
"Wow, Gran. You couldn't just leave it alone, you had to involve my old coworkers?"
"What else could I do, you weren't listening to me!"
Elizabeth stood to her feet, her anger fuming. She finally let her words out and didn't care if Cat was in the room or not.
"No Gran, you weren't listening! Can't you see I'm sick of everything, my life has no meaning or purpose. You can't just throw people at me and expect it to change how I feel! You didn't even bother to listen when I told you Cat and Daniel had enough of my sad cover songs! They didn't want me to come back till I sang an original. I'm not even close to writing a song. I'm not good enough, so I gave up! There is nothing for me out there, just disappointment and ridicule. I've been here having the best time of my miserable life till YOU came barging in!"
Gran placed a hand over her mouth and stared at Elizabeth in silence. She didn't say another word as she turned away and left the room. Elizabeth's eyes watched her go, feeling traces of regret from the look on her Gran's face alone…
Then her attention was turned back to her guest, who was still there looking rather nervous. However, Cat was determined to talk to her. Since she had seen and heard how Elizabeth was doing for herself.
Elizabeth knew she probably looked almost like a ghost… lifeless and hopeless…What she said out loud probably didn't make Cat worry less…
Cat's small voice tried its best to be heard as she spoke to her former coworker. Her face held concern and empathy.
"Beth… We didn't mean it like that… You still have a job and you don't have to sing-"
Elizabeth had been holding her rage in all this time being cooped up, it must be letting itself free at this moment. Now Cat was the new target.
"Don't you see?! I love to sing! It's the only thing that keeps me from hating my life and everyone I talk to! It's the only thing that keeps me sane! So tell me… WHY WOULD I WANT THE DAMN JOB IF I CAN'T SING?! People come in to get drunk and be miserable anyway, they complain a lot too. So why is there so much hate on sad songs?!"
Cat cleared her throat trying her best to not be so nervous in her response. Her words were shaky in her reply.
"But… No one really wants to feel sad all the time. They want happy and cheerful songs too, why not do covers of them?"
The words left her violently. The truth came out.
"BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME I HAVE EVER FELT A SHRED OF HAPPINESS WAS IN THIS LAST MONTH!"
Silence filled the room, Cat stared wide eyed at Elizabeth. Her gaze was to the floor as she continued, her rage fading away… into sadness… Tears finally falling from her dry eyes.
"Why sing about something you don't know how to feel? Why sing about the beauty of the world, when you can't see it?... Everytime I play a song, it's the only thing that takes away my pain. The sad songs are how I feel on the inside… Has it really taken this long for you to notice?…"
Cat's eyes threaten to fill with tears of her own, her voice trembling as she tries to speak.
"We did notice… Your voice is so beautiful, when it sings those words we feel it in our hearts. Your sadness flowed into all of us and it was chasing off customers who couldn't handle it… We only asked you to stop for the reputation of the bar… Not because we hated them… We were trying to help you, so you won't be so sad…"
Elizabeth wiped away her tears, trying her best to calm her breathing and not have more of a melt down in front of other people.
"I didn't realize... I thought you all had an expectation for me to meet, and was asking me to forget how I feel."
"We weren't asking you to forget, we were asking you to heal. To put your passion into words of your own. Maybe find the meaning of happiness for you…To help you find your purpose."
"That's just it… it doesn't feel like my purpose is here…."
Elizabeth looked back to her screen, the scene of her and Astarion talking. She was about to ask him what she was to him. He would have responded with his usual response.
"Oh nothing special. You're the only person I've ever truly cared about."
If only she could hear those words and more coming from him. She could listen to him for hours, and speak back to him from the heart. It's amazing how incredibly happy he makes her feel from here.
Would it be different if she was from his world?
Could he still make her feel this way if he was standing right in front of her?
It's a lovely dream… but it's not possible…
He's not real… this is…
Maybe she was better off going back to her normal life…
She can't play Baldur's Gate forever. She already played the story so many times, there's nothing left to do in the game now anyway.
But it meant she couldn't have any more adventures with her friends… her family…
It might be the same story over and over, but her bond to them never faltered. She wanted them to be in her real life, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they existed.
No….
It was this world that was bad, there were no spells, no scrolls, no magic, no monsters, no gods, no devils, and most of all no friends like them!
If anything, she wanted to be in a world like that…
Then Cat's sniffles followed with her trembling voice as she responded.
"Where else could your purpose be?"
Elizabeth hesitated, she didn't know whether it was wise to say she wanted it to be in the video game she had been glued to… instead she gave her fake answer.
"I don't know, anywhere that didn't make me feel empty, really… Somewhere I have a destiny to do great things. A place I'd be surrounded by people who I love and love me back… A world where anything is possible, like being myself… A dream… maybe too far out of reach."
In reality it wasn't a fake answer, it was a piece of her truth. A version of it that's easier for someone to hear. So they wouldn't call her crazy for wishing to be alive in a different world and free of this one.
Elizabeth's eyes blur from her sobs and looked up to see Cat had tears flowing down her cheeks as well. Cat then ran up to her and gave her a big hug.
Elizabeth was shocked by her actions at first looking down at the small woman, not knowing if she should return it. Then Cat's voice was muffled by Elizabeth's clothes as she whimpered sadly.
"I'm sorry you felt like this… We heard how much you were suffering and did nothing… I did nothing! I only thought of my job as only being a coworker to you… not your friend… IT'S NOT A DREAM, BETH! I want it for you too, I want you to be happy wherever it may be! But, you need to get out there to find it."
Elizabeth couldn't stop crying as she returned the hug. Happy that someone was finally seeing her…
She even said the word… friend.
She wasn't as alone as she thought.
Maybe she should listen to Cat, she sounds like things might be different now.
If she actually tried…
If she was serious…
She might not mean a word of it, who knows how she actually feels…
Cat then lifted her head and stated softly.
"Come on, get dressed. You're late for work."
Elizabeth chuckled as she finally decided to put her obsession to rest. Maybe it was best to put Baldur's Gate down and let this adventure end… She defeated most of the big bads, all that remains is the elder brain… They can probably do better without her…It was time to wish her friends and Astarion goodbye…
"Give me a moment. I'll be outside."
Cat nodded, released herself from their hug, and left the room closing the door behind her.
Elizabeth took a seat in her chair, taking in a deep breath, and releasing all her negative feelings aside. She left the conversation with Astarion to wish her goodbyes to the rest. Trying her best not to cry knowing they will never hear her real words. She then had the hardest task of all, to say words she never wanted to say to Astarion.
"Whatever this is between us, we need to end it?"
"Oh shit…I… Did I do something wrong? Why? What's changed?"
The words pierce her heart, making it ache. The look on his face shattered her soul but she continued. Even Though she wished there were better options for her situation. To tell him she wished she could stay together forever.
Unfortunately, they were worlds apart and are never destined to actually meet…
So, she picked the option that made sense being the dark urge.
"I'm so worried I'm going to end up killing you one day."
He gives a sad laugh with a thoughtful look.
"I… may be guilty of a little embellishment here and there - but I'm no liar. When I vowed we'd save you: we will save you…"
She felt his sincerity in her heart, making it beat faster in surprise by his words. He then continues;
"This little adventure of ours has taught me we can't let our lives be ruled by fear. Or else we never really live. I'm not afraid. Not of you, not your darkness, and not of our future."
She was brought to tears, his words being the only thing that devastated her and made her hopeful at the same time. He would fight to stay with her regardless of her fears. He told her words she didn't know she needed to hear in the real world. It gave her hope for a future…
That didn't stop her heart from aching, breaking in its wish to betray this life… for one with him…
When it's just not possible…
Her tears never stopped as she did the hardest thing she had to do…
When to others it should be simple…
"No, I mean it. We shouldn't be together."
"If… that's what you want… Then… that's where we'll leave it. Well… Goodbye then, I suppose. You brought my dead heart back to life… It will keep beating."
With that she shuts off the game. It was stupid of her to say goodbye to him first, she couldn't bear to say goodbye to the rest now. This goodbye hurt too much to continue. Elizabeth tries to focus on anything else as she dried her tears. She shouldn't get so worked up over a game…
After taking a quick cold shower to calm herself, she changed into a bar/work appropriate outfit. She decided on black crop-top, a hoodie, ripped jeans, and her black boots. She tied her hair into a braid, and squinted to see when she took off her glasses and put in her contacts. Once she had them in, she checked her face to make sure she didn't look like a wreck. She did look like a ghost, with puffy red eyes now. She threw on concealer, mascara, and some lipstick. Getting rid of her bags and adding a little color somewhere on her face.
Looking decent she finally left her room, and passed Gran who was sitting on the couch.
Who spoke before she could open the door.
"I only want the best for you. After everything you have been through… you deserve it more than most…"
Elizabeth held back her tears the best she could, she refused to ruin the makeup she just put on. Gran only continued.
"If you would be happier living in a world like that, as long as you're happy… That's all I want."
Gran threw her off guard when she said that. Elizabeth shouldn't be surprised, Gran knew her better than anyone. That still didn't mean she should go getting her hopes up for an impossible dream.
"If it was possible… I'd go in a heartbeat. I can't help but feel like I belong there-"
"Then don't let me stop you. I lived my life, you live yours however you wish. Just know wishes aren't always how we want, they can be completely different than we expect."
"You speak to me as though it's possible. It's not funny Gran, don't mess with me like that."
Gran stood to her feet, walked over to her granddaughter, and hugged her tightly… for some reason…
this felt like a goodbye hug…
Like her Gran knew something she didn't…
"Gran-Gran?"
The elder looked up at Elizabeth with a surprised expression, with traces of… sadness.
"I haven't heard you call me that in so long… You were a child when I heard it last… My, how quickly you've grown… You poor thing. Why did time take you so fast? Take us…"
She reached up and placed a hand on Elizabeth's cheek. Caressing it softly and moving strands of hair from her face with the other hand.
"You were always like the sun when you were young. So full of life, wanting to talk to everyone, you would run away from me in public just to introduce yourself to people."
"Really?"
"Yes! You were so cheerful. If you weren't talking to people, it was animals… Heh, you were always convinced they could talk back."
They both giggled, but Elizabeth was still surprised.
To hear that she was so lively seems… well… impossible…
She could hardly talk to anyone now. Although, this is the most honest and talkative she's been in a long time…
Maybe she did learn something from them…
"You were kind, spirited, and always a lover of the earth. You were always first into rivers or streams even if no one was in the water. I remember when you came into this house covered in mud and sat at the table like nothing was wrong!"
They both laughed. Elizabeth was tickled by the thought, she wished she was more like that… But, it's hard to do any of that now since the rivers and streams now are full of chemicals. Nobody swims anymore, if they are smart. Nowadays there are more buildings than grass. It's a city after all.
"But, most of all. You had a fire, love. You were passionate about everything, you had the voice of an angel, and still do… I wish I could hear one of your cute little songs you used to make… how did one of them go…"
"Songs… I used to write songs… How can I not remember all this?"
"You don't!? Then I guess this will be a challenge then… one of my favorites used to go like… There once was a daisy, they said she was lazy… From the people walking by… hmmm…"
The tune sounded familiar… it played in her head only to unlock something. Suddenly words came to her mind that filled in the blanks.
"just for looking at the sky…
She was stuck in the ground,
when she wanted to be found…
She dreamed of a place,
where she sits in a vase.
Waiting at a table for two….
Even if life is shorter,
At least it will be a quarter..
of it all… with you…"
Holding tears back for both of them seemed impossible… Elizabeth finally embraced her Grandmother and squeezed her tightly. Trying her best not to sob on her Grandmother and run her mascara, but she spoke from the heart.
"You're the only one who was ever there for me. Even when you were crazy bossy and always up my butt... I love you so much, Gran… Thank you for putting up with me after… everything. But, seriously, you need to stop talking like you're dying."
Elizabeth pulled back from her hug and stared down at the elder woman. Trying her best to look serious.
"Oh, I'm not dying! I don't plan to leave this world anytime soon."
"Then why are you acting like we won't see each other, I'm just going to work, surprisingly. What's wrong?"
Gran looked away not giving her much to read, her expression was blank. Then she replied.
"It's nothing, my dear. I'm just using some of my time to appreciate you… Your friend is waiting… I love you, Eliza."
"Talk about old names, that one I haven't heard out of you in a while."
Gran uses her old lady strength to turn, then shove Elizabeth away with a smile, and gives her a playful swat to shoo her away. Elizabeth chuckled and used the shove to her advantage as she went for the door.
Elizabeth got out the door and looked back at Gran one last time to notice she was crying… They weren't sad tears, they were happy ones…
But, instead of asking about it, she waved to her. Receiving a wave and a big smile in return. They never said goodbye to each other… not once.
Knowing it's the one word Elizabeth hated more than anything. There was silence as Elizabeth closed the door, and she left to get in the car with Cat.
There was silence the entire ride, Elizabeth didn't feel like talking. She was left to ponder on her thoughts as she looked out the window in the dark clouds above. She felt she was one word away from crying like a baby after all of that…
She remembered that song, she wrote it when… her dad came back…
Then she remembered why she forgot it intentionally. She sang it for her grandmother then, because originally it was a pure song from the heart… It was Gran's wish to hear it.
So, she didn't mind… but it ended up reminding her of everything that she wanted to forget.
Her heart was hammering and her breath felt heavy at the memory. She forced it back into the deepest parts of her mind, trying her best to calm herself.
Then words Astarion said once, played for her.
"Easy now darling… You've got this, and I got you…"
His words calmed her anxiety when she thought she was about to murder him as the dark urge. He stayed by her side even when she had no control over her bloodlust. Even if his words were used for an entirely different situation, they still calmed her.
He calmed her… and made her miss him already…
She was taken from her thoughts once she realized they arrived at the bar. Cat already turned off the car, and they were ready to get out. It was starting to sprinkle outside.
They get out of the car and walk down the alleyway through the back entrance. They go through the kitchen and all eyes are on her. All of them looked at her like a ghost, none of them said a word. They just stare awkwardly.
Once she goes through the double doors, she gets surprised by a bursting voice that sounded too overly eager for her arrival.
""BETH!!! YOUR ALIVE!!!!"
Daniel quickly walks up to her and scoops her up, spinning her around. She didn't know what to do, so she was shouting nervously at the action. Gripping onto him as her legs flew out.
"Woah! Hey! AHHH!!!"
She then gets set down abruptly throwing her off balance. Luckily the person that dropped her also braced her with his hands on her shoulders. Only to throw her off once again by shaking her back and forth.
"Why. Would. You. Go. And. Worry. Us. Like. That!?!? You just disappeared, your apartment had someone else in it! I thought you left us for good. We had to hear from your Grandmother to scold you to get out of the house… A MONTH LATER!!!"
After many violent shakes of frustration.
He finally stops rattling her brain around in her skull as Cat, customers, and coworkers alike laugh at the scene. His voice started as aggravated but it fades into concern.
"You didn't call, not a 'fuck you.' Nothing! I was worried you hated us."
Daniel pouted his lip as he stared at her with sad eyes. He looked a lot like his sister, red hair with brighter amber eyes. Except for the scar over his left eyebrow, and their height differences. She had to be convinced they were twins. All it took was for Daniel to lower himself to Cat's level, once they were face to face she could see their close to identical similarities. She was 4ft 11in, he was 6ft 2in. While Elizabeth was in between them at 5ft 8in.
It was always funny to Elizabeth how they were complete opposites. Cat is quiet and sweet. Daniel is loud and spicy. They run a bar together, The Stray Cat bar … Daniel picked the name.
They were a great team, even while they bicker like siblings do.
"I'm sorry, Danny. I got a little caught up… in myself."
"Well you're here now. We missed you. How about a song? "
He said pointing to the guitar case in the corner. Next to a stool and mic on the stage. She looked in that direction to have a wave of anxiety flow through her. Looking at the familiar case she knew too well.
"So, that's where it went… Are you sure?"
"This place has been dead quiet for too long, I almost got a screen and a karaoke sign… Please, sing what's in your heart, I don't care if it's sad. As long as you're happy. Just… don't overdo it, please."
"I-I'll try."
She prepares herself as she walks up to the stage and goes for the guitar case. It was black and covered in colorful stickers. She opened it to see her beautiful red cherry wood guitar, with white pearlescent designs. Just as she left it. She picks it up and sets herself up in front of the mic on the stool. Making sure everything is turned on and places everything where they should by instinct…
She thought about what she should play, but she couldn't sing an original song yet. She may have had the ability when she was young but now, words mean very little. At least her own. So instead she picked one of the many songs she knew, the one that sang to her the most. She only listened to it on repeat enough to know the words, she hoped her hands could do the rest.
Even if she couldn't understand her own emotions, songs come to her. To express what she can't… Words of songs that already exist, except slightly molded to fit for her. Her fingers began to strum the melody she knows, her hands flowing on the guitar gracefully…
"Oh, how I'd kill…
To see you again…"
Her tone and pitch hit the right notes, soon all eyes were on her. She tried her best to keep the flow of the music, not letting their wide eyes disturb her. She closed her eyes and let herself ride on the melody for comfort. Her hands moving on instinct and her words vibrating through the air.
"Love's a game, I played the fool…
I wasted thought on your perfume…
Yeah, you turned me into a mess…
But I must confess
Oh, that I've never felt so alive…
Well, that's a lesson learned…
You showed me love…
No, you taught me how to hurt
Was it worth it?... No
'Cause now I'm on my own, alone I roam
Searching for your solace and comfort
And I don't know if I can carry on
They called me cra-a-a-azy and they're right
I had a multitude of sickly dispositions, you didn't mi-i-i-i-ind…
Instead, you taught me how to dance, but not alone…
Now, if love is a game, then I only played to lose…
Because empires will rise and fall
Like tides and I'll live through it all
But it won't mean a thing without… you"
The people clapped and there were cheers. Some stayed to themselves, having silent moments or continuing their work. She looked over to see Daniel and Cat, a little stunned.
Even through the cheers, she didn't feel good after. She knew who the song was for. She had a picture of them in the back of her mind, his face was seen behind her shut eyes.
She missed them so much… especially him…
Elizabeth opened her eyes back to reality.
Elizabeth stepped down, sitting her guitar on her back with the strap wrapped on her shoulder. She walks up to the twins and expects to hear ridicule, only to be bombarded a question. One they said at the same time in unison.
"YOU'RE IN LOVE?!?"
Completely in shock by the sudden question from them both. She looked between them as their eyes sparkled with anticipation. She sighed as she finally gave them a piece of the puzzle… no sense denying…
"I-It's not real love… At least I don't know if anyone would consider it real… It wouldn't work, we are worlds apart. But, he was kind to me… even when he wasn't. He might have manipulated me at first but he surprised me in the end. I realized he was like me in a way and he went through a lot. So, I understood his reasons after he told me… However, it's just… I don't think I've ever connected with anyone like that. I never knew what love felt like, but if it hurts like this then it has to be… It should be a ridiculous thing to do, but I did it anyway…I fell for an impossible dream… it wasn't meant to be…"
They stared at her in silence, they looked saddened by her words. Her own words bring her a form of despair… She knows deep down that talking about it will make them actually call her crazy. They wouldn't understand how deeply she cared about someone that doesn't exist in this world.
She wanted him to be real, for his world to be real. A world with all of them… to be real…
She wished….
"I wish I was in his world. To be able to see him in front of me. To hear him speak to me. To breathe in his musk to know what he smells like. I want to tell him everything I want to say to him. While making friends and having great company. On a journey, a grand adventure with me and him. With other good people I know. My own family, surrounded by people I love. Where the impossible IS possible! I wish I lived in the world of Baldur's Gate…"
With her wish spoken allowed. She shut her eyes tight and was ready for all words. Any words, but there were none. She opened her eyes to see Daniel and Cat were staring at her still, she waved her hand in front of them. Only for nothing to happen, they still held the same expression. Something was… off…
It was as if time stopped, she looked around to the people around her. They were all frozen and completely unresponsive too.
Then someone large in a hooded dark cloak wasn't affected at all, who moved. They were sitting at the bar, and spoke with a drink in their gloved hand. A woman's voice was deep and carried through to Elizabeth's ears.
"You seem rather confident in your wish…"
She took a quick movement to down the glass and slammed it down with a disappointed sigh. Muttering to herself about how awful the taste was. Elizabeth looked around, a little confused by the sudden halt of everything around her. Except for one person… So of course her attention was all on this mysterious woman. A really big woman at that… larger than the man she was sitting not too far from.
Elizabeth was still skeptical if any of it was at all real.
"Is this a prank?… I just got back and all of you decided to single me out, how mature… It is kinda creepy actually, cut it out."
Elizabeth then looked outside to see everything else frozen as well. It was raining but the water was not moving at all… Frozen in the air, along with everything else outside. Now she wondered if this was a dream…
"You wanted magic so badly… and yet you won't believe it when it's staring at you in the face."
The woman turns to reveal her bright demonic purple eyes that glowed with flames. Her skin is a light purple with darker purple tentacles painted on her face leaving her eyes. The strange woman smiled with small fangs in her mouth. Removing her gloves to reveal her hands had sharp nails as she removed her hood to reveal her small pink horns and long white hair in a high ponytail braid that flowed down her back. Her cloak swept away from her body to reveal her half arrow-tipped tail.
Elizabeth knew exactly what she was…
"Y-Your a Tiefling…The way I set up my… the Emperor?!"
"HaHA! In the flesh! Well, at least a version of me, suited to help you adjust more smoothly to the process. I'm not the actual Emperor, I am a much higher life form than a mind flayer. I've been called many things, so you can call me that or whatever you like… I don't think I was wrong in choosing you. You're handling this rather well."
The tall woman with large muscles stands to her feet, walks over to Elizabeth, and towers over her… Elizabeth was frozen herself, just like everyone else except out of fear, her jaw dropped… completely in awe… thinking,
'Was this body type really this huge?! It's intimidating as hell!!! Hella scary!!!'
"I like this form, I think the effect it has on people really puts on a show. Like now with you… Actually I like that word, 'Hella.' So, you can call me that."
"You can read my-... nevermind. It shouldn't be surprising anymore."
"You're doing rather well, indeed… I am confident in you, you show promise…"
"Promise for what?"
"You're not the only one that made this wish… I have met many souls. I pick them when they show me how loyal they are to the game. I meet them and pick at their brains to see if they are worthy of their wish. Most don't continue after meeting me… I've had rather messy encounters, I've been shot at before. Unfortunate for the person behind me at the time, since I have no physical effect on your toys. Like I said… Messy… That person obviously didn't want their wish badly enough and ended up in prison for murder. I feel you show promise, you're already a lot calmer than most. You'd be surprised by how easily startled you creatures can be."
She wasn't really surprised, humans are jumpy by nature…
Especially by things they don't understand…
Hella talked while Elizabeth took in the information she was given. it had to be a dream, but she didn't remember falling asleep at all…
When did she sleep last?
"You really can't accept this is real? Oh well, I'll take it over screaming anyday… I haven't sent anyone in yet, and there is only one spot at a time for this role… After a century of searching it's finally someone else's turn. Isn't it exciting?"
"A century? The game didn't come out a hundred years ago."
"Oh, no. I mean a century of my time. If you haven't noticed, time stops in your world when I enter it. Only people I wish to speak to are unaffected. In your time it's only been months, in mine I've been doing this longer than your greatest grandmother."
"How is that possible?!"
"The impossible is possible where I'm from, Sweetie… and I'm bored. So, I've been granting wishes to mortals. This particular wish is my favorite. As a result I took it as a full time job. Unfortunately, everyone I have given this gift to has squandered it so far. They didn't appreciate all that I gave them. Their dreams didn't turn out like they wished… It never does. They all end up the same. They give up too soon or make terrible choices, but I have a feeling you will make this round a lot less boring. Just your imagination alone is exciting me already!"
Elizabeth was taking the information as the magical being rambled on about the whole thing. Everything she thought would never happen to her, is happening. She was thrilled at the idea of having the opportunity, already imagining how it could go. All the things that she could do and it made her heart swell at the thought of meeting them for real!…
if it is a dream, so be it, at least it's a good one.
"You humans are very interesting, you know. Each one of you that shows promise in the beginning, ends up disappointing me. I do not feel that will happen this time, I think I will enjoy your playthrough. If it's a yes, I will explain the rules. Not too many, just three."
Hella said, raising her hand, with her first three large fingers extended. Elizabeth nods excitedly in anticipation. Then Hella walks over, pulls up a chair at the bar to sit in it, and extends her hand to offer the open chair close to her. Elizabeth shrugs, walks over, and props up her guitar against the bar. Once Elizabeth is in the chair and comfortable, Hella continues with a gleaming smile.
"Rule #1: You can and can't be out of character. You're not restricted by dialogue choices, but do watch what you say. They can result in serious consequences. Once you're in that world, it won't let you talk about anything in this world anyway. So, you can't slip up. You won't even utter a word of it or it will become another word that fits. But, you do have the freedom of speech in anything else."
"Convenient, that's good to know… I was worried I wasn't going to-"
"I know, next, Rule #2: Free will. Everyone in that world has free will, just like in this one. Not so like the game.You make your own choices and live how you wish, but you can't decide for the others. They decide for themselves. However, you can guide their choices, lead them in combat, and have effects on them in other ways. All based on the good or bad influences you have with them. You can discover those ways in your own time there. I'll let you have fun in it finding out, I wouldn't dare tell you and spoil my fun. I will tell you that honesty is the best policy in persuasion. You will have to learn deception, intimidation, survival, and perception on your own. The rest is natural to your pre-loaded character and you'll have most of your current knowledge."
"Fair. I don't seek perfection, I don't want it to be too easy. I'd rather not feel like it's just me playing the game, anyway. I want them to think for themselves and have their own opinions."
Hella's eyes widened in curiosity. Her pupils grow in her fascination. Her smile became more devious.
"You are interesting... Okay, then I guess you're ready for the final rule. But first - I must ask - are you sure this is what you want? As many have come to learn once they get their wish. It is never how they expect it to be. It can be something you didn't realize you were asking for at the time. Only to find it's not at all what you thought."
"Honestly, since the moment I saw you I've never felt more at peace. I feel hopeful and I feel confident in my decisions for once. Especially after today. Astarion and my Gran taught me that I can't live my life in fear or else I'll never really live. I'm happy dreaming my dream and I have no doubt I'll be happy to live it. The people here will be fine without me, life will keep moving forward. With or without me here. So I want this… for me…"
Hella laughs in delight, keeping her glowing eyes on Elizabeth's. She moves in closer as her voice grows deeper and soothing like a charming cat. Her smile was big and devilish.
"Then you definitely should know the most important rule. Rule #3: Once your wish has been granted you cannot return… Only one wish can be granted in a human life. If you die and nobody revives you there, you fall under the elder brain, or you give up your wish… You die for real. Nothing can bring you back. You live your life how you chose until you meet your end once you're there."
"So, basically I get one life unless someone wants to bring me back… Great… I hope I don't die before I meet them. At least not before I convince them I'm worthy of a second chance or two."
Hella stares at her curiously…
"You really aren't afraid… are you?"
Elizabeth didn't have to think about it, her thoughts were in the open anyways. She didn't hesitate in her answer, she knew it to be the truth.
"No… Eventually, I'll wake up. I like how this dream is heading so far. Couple questions though, what happens when it ends? The end once the brain is defeated. Will I live out all the six months to the epilogue? Or will it skip like the game? Can I live past that? Is there more?"
Hella scoots her chair in closer, her eyes sparkled as she pressed her hands against her cheeks. She spoke like a giddy child this time.
"You're even thinking about after!?! Oh wow, you want more already! You greedy little thing! Of course, you experience real time there! It's a life, a lot like the one you live here. There are similarities to the game, but not all of it is present. So, no skip. You live as long as you want!"
Elizabeth was getting pumped up, she was bouncing in her seat with joy. Too excited and nervous to be sitting still.
Hella's laughter became menacing as did her smile. Her voice returned to its silkyness.
"Until you are ready to move on to the afterlife and give up your wish… Or fail… trying to save or conquer Baldur's Gate."
Elizabeth just stares back at her unfazed… her heart and mind still adamant on what she wanted.
Hella bursts out laughing in front of her. Wiping the tear from the corner of her eye as she tried to calm herself enough to speak.
"You really think it's a dream… Even still you are serious! If this wasn't a dream to you, you wouldn't change your mind, would you?"
"Not at all, I wouldn't regret it if this was real. I know what I want, dream or not."
Hella's eyes widen once more, her flaming orbs glowing down at her. Her excitement grows more on her face, if it was possible…
"I like you… I think this will be interesting indeed… Don't say I didn't warn you though, hun. Have fun, see you around… maybe."
Hella brings up her hand into view of her sharp nails on her fingertips. She pressed them together, and then in a quick motion with the sound of a snap... a flash…
Then Elizabeth's world went dark…
Hella left alone in her chair, pouring herself a glass, and raised it up to her nose giving it a sniff. Giving a look of disgust as her nose wrinkles. Downing it quickly, a small cough and gag of distaste following after. She speaks to herself, loving the sound of her voice as she rambles her thoughts.
"Ugh, I could make this taste better, get me drunker, have more fun with a delightful feeling on my tongue… and yet… I still leave it as it is… Maybe the way it was made into this world is perfect as it should be… Bitter, constant, strong with a kick and a burn leaving you winded and nauseated…. After years of beating the flavor into it and containing it for years without sunlight… I could just stop drinking it all together. It does nothing for me… However, for some reason, It's so sickly alluring… I'm eager for more… Somehow, just like that woman… an odd one for sure… As much as I'd love to keep her completely the same, I need to do my job, and she has to learn somehow. It's time to brew a fine brandy and put it in my favorite bottle."
A bottle appears, the glass glistening like a crystal with intricate details and designs with a beautiful crystal cork. The magic beginning to glow from within it. Hella looks down at the bottle and smiles a devilish smile...
"I look forward to keeping my eye on her…. I have a feeling that I'm going to love this story…"
The song is
'How I'd kill' by Cowboy Malfoy.
Elizabeth has been a guitarist for years, she will be able to do what I cannot. Play any instrument. Since, she is musically in tune with the art of music. She can play anything, if she's heard it a decent amount.
I hope I made a decent first chapter. I loved writing this. I also understand if some people question any of my logic. The daisy song I pulled out of my butt… btw. :p
At least I don't think that song exists. I'll be surprised if so…
Anyway, I look forward to writing more. So I hope you're up for it, cause I'm all in now…
Until next time, my lovelies!