One moment earlier, she was staring at the dark, waiting for whatever was hiding there to reveal itself. One moment before, her enemy – because what else lurks in the night, near their camp? - is unknown.

Now it had the face of Karlach. Her friend? Not now. It was instinctual. Feral. Without any coherent thought, as the barbarian threatened Gortash, she got in front of him. Even the words coming out of her mouth caught her completely off guard.
A tiny part of her remembered how Karlach had always been, perhaps, the best of them all, a victim of cruelty due to her gentle nature, and how even then the tiefling had not forfeited her good side, despite having every reason to. Deep down, she knew Karlach was entitled to seek her revenge.
Even now, she was aware of all that. She was also acutely aware that Enver was possibly in mortal danger, and she could not allow that. He had helped her. He had given her the gift of music back. He'd been there for her, without any kind of judgment. He saw her differently than any of them. He was there for her while Astarion was not. He was...

That whole train of thoughts derailed as she looked Karlach in her eyes. It was impossible to ignore the hurt in them, the sense of betrayal in which they were coated. Gentle, sweet Karlach. The one who, more than anyone perhaps, believed in her goodness.
Without another word, the tiefling walked back to camp.

Ashamed, Kelsya almost hunched over and laid her eyes on the grass.
When had she grown a mouth so sharp and so full of teeth?

It was too much.
It wasn't fair.
Desperation crept in, once again.
Anything good she touched, she crumbled.

"It would be better you left, now", she heard. Jaehira's voice.

There it was. The moment she expected, the right time to let her friends save the world and leave her to her intrinsic ruin.

To her surprise, it was Gortash who replied, "For once we agree, Harpist". He turned, ready to abandon the place. Not without whispering in her ear seconds before stepping away, "You're always welcome at Wyrm Rock".

Gently, Jaheira brushed her arm. "Come. I need to talk to you, and I need your full attention". Without arguing, her gaze to the ground, Kelsya followed the druid. She did not need to see her companions to know that they were staring at her. She wondered what they saw. A freak? A penitent?

She did regret hurting Karlach. A small part of her, deep inside her, did not.

As she entered Jaehira's tent, she tried shutting out that awareness. It did not work. It was there, in the back of her mind.
Bhaal craved blood. Did he crave to break hearts too?

"Sit, please", Jaehira said, patting the blanket beside her. Her tone was quiet, saddened even. Kelsya did sit, silent, waiting for her to speak, too tired to object or try to leave. If the Harper was about to give her a lecture, she'd listen.

"I want to ask this of you. I could talk to the others, and I'm sure they would help. But," she began, as Kelsya watched her in disbelief, "I think you need this. You need to do something... positive, something that reminds you how helping someone is worth it. Something that, perhaps, you don't even believe you can. I think, Cub, you need to convince yourself you can be more than his puppet".

"I... don't understand", Kelsya replied in a whisper. What was Jaehira talking about? Who was she meant to help?

For a moment, the druid simply stared at her with tired, yet all the same determined eyes. "I know where to find Minsc the Rashemi. Tomorrow, he'll be at the Counting House. He'll be ambushed, and after I left him to battle those Absolute cultists alone I owe him one rescue. And I want you to be there, to be part of it".

"I can't. I am..." Kelsya started, only to be cut off by Jaehira.

"You can. You don't think so now, you may think your past is... inevitable, part of you. What if you prove yourself the contrary?" she asked. Holding her hands, she continued, "Those may be tainted by innocent blood. They can be much more than that. Give yourself a chance., Forget Astarion, even for a little while. You are not alone, Cub. Can you try and trust me?"

Kelsya lowered her gaze on their intertwined fingers.
Perhaps it was possible. Maybe she wasn't entirely lost yet. One mission, a cure...
She was so, so tired of questioning everything and everyone.

"I'll try", she finally agreed, ignoring how even now her blood sang in anticipation. A mission meant enemies. It meant fighting. It meant killing.
No.
It meant salvation. For Minsc the Rashemi, and herself too, in time.