"First one to the dock gets the last brownie," Elizabeth called gleefully over her shoulder; galloping ahead on Sergeant.
Thirty minutes earlier, we stopped at our respective homes to change into our riding attire, when I spied a single brownie on Elizabeth's kitchen table.
"You had brownies and you didn't share them with me? Elizabeth! Sweets are the way to my heart. I can't believe you held out on me," I said, with an accusatory grin.
She laughed & playfully swatted my outreached hand away from it. Stepping into our natural embrace, her arms up around my neck & mine around her waist, she gave me an amused look.
"I made them this morning, for Allie to bring to the daycare, so all the children could enjoy them. It looks as if they put quite a dent in them."
"Ah, I see. So it's our children who get the sweets. Nothing for me."
"Oh, but I already gave you a sweet treat this morning. Or don't you remember our very - satisfying - trip - to - the - gazebo?" she asked, kissing me in between her words.
"Hmm? It's been such a long time since this morning. Care to refresh my memory?" I said, my voice low; eyeing her lips.
"Why, Nathan Grant! I do believe, if it was up to you, we'd use this hour to kiss and not much else?"
"Guilty," I said. "Can you blame me?"
"Blame you? No, my love. I don't blame you. I can't seem to think of anything but kissing & touching you, at every opportunity, these days."
"I'm glad we're on the same page," I said, closing my eyes & dipping my head to kiss her. But I stopped short when I felt her finger press against my lips. Opening my eyes, I saw her smirking at me.
"Nathan, the horses? We have plans to finally go on that ride together."
I sighed dramatically, in mock frustration.
"Okay," I said, letting go of her. "But I think my idea sounds like way more fun."
She playfully ran her finger down my chest, before crooking it towards her, beckoning me to follow.
"Well, if you come with me...perhaps we can do both," she said, flirtatiously.
Of course I followed her. I'd follow her anywhere, anytime, & under any circumstance. I was in love with her, & having her love in return be so accessible, so readily available, was an intoxicating feeling I'd never grow tired of.
I pulled on Newton's reigns, just enough to let her get a bit further ahead, so she would reach the dock first.
"I win!" She said, turning Sergeant in mine & Newton's direction; flashing a victorious smile.
"You did! No brownie for me," I called out; riding the last few feet to join her.
We both swung down from our horses, allowing them to drink at the waters edge, & walked hand in hand to the dock.
She let go of me, and leaned against the post, looking out across the water. I stood behind, wrapping my arms around her, & holding her close. We were quiet for several minutes, taking in the beauty of everything, when she sighed & leaned back against my chest.
"Something on your mind?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"How do you always know that?"
"Because I know you...& because I love you."
Taking one of my hands in hers, she pressed a soft kiss into my palm, closing my fingers over it, before allowing me to hold her again.
"Nathan," she said, quietly. "Do you remember when we were last here together?"
"I do. I was on my rounds & came upon you & Jack. He was throwing rocks in the pond."
"Yes. - I often think about that day."
"You do? Why?"
"You asked what was in my heart? Do you remember that?"
"Yes, I do."
"Nathan, when I look back on our history together, I realize there were so many moments that stirred different emotions or reactions from me. There are moments I relied on, some that left me confused, & some that gave me clarity. Some I ran away from & some that left me feeling exposed, too. That day was one of those moments."
I hugged her closer still, staying silent; allowing her to explain.
"Earlier that day, in town, I told you I was happy you made your home in Hope Valley. You started to respond, but stopped. I remember asking, 'if the cat got your tongue?' You said, 'maybe, or my better judgement.' Do you recall that conversation? We were standing outside your office."
"I remember," I said quietly.
She tapped on my hands; a silent request to loosen my hold on her. I let go & she turned to face me.
"'So what's in your heart?' You said those words to me right here & I felt so exposed. It was like you could see straight into my soul, with your piercing blue eyes."
She reached up to touch my cheek & I leaned against the warmth of her hand.
"You let me know when you figure it out," I said.
"You do remember!"
Baring my soul, I told the honest truth. "I remember every single moment with you."
"I do, too," she said, squeezing my hand. "Nathan, I remember feeling disappointed when you didn't say what was on your mind. I remember the disappointment in myself, when I couldn't say what was in my heart. I didn't yet understand the depth of my feelings for you then, but I knew I was falling for you a little more each day. Maybe you couldn't tell, but I felt completely exposed under your warm gaze. My heart beat wildly when you asked me that question. - I regret keeping my feelings to myself. I wish I would've shared them with you."
She paused again; a solemn look spreading across her face.
"'What's in your heart' was a question I constantly asked myself, through out my days of indecision. Until one day, my heart spoke up loudly; telling me it was you, Nathan. You were in my heart. - Instead of being excited to have an answer, to know you were the man I wanted, I was terrified. That day should've been something to celebrate, but I denied my heart, & I started listening to fear instead. - I let that fear pull me away from you & into the arms of someone I felt was a safer choice; someone I could try to find contentment & happiness with. Someone who gave me the kind of love I thought would be enough. - I see now that wasn't fair to any of us. We've all experienced hurt because I couldn't face what was in my heart. - I need you to know, I did my best to give my heart to Lucas, & love him like he deserved. I was devoted to him during our time together. But I had to work very hard to reassign my thoughts & feelings for you into just friendship. It was extremely difficult. It's the reason I didn't spend much time around you that year."
Pausing, she looked deep into my eyes, before slowly taking my hand & placing it over her heart. Holding it there, she continued.
"The answer to your question is long overdue. But, my love, in the end... I couldn't deny the only man who fills my soul. The only man my heart calls out for. You're what's in my heart, Nathan. It beats only for you."
Feeling her heart beat so fiercely against my palm, I took her free hand & placed it over my own rapidly beating heart.
"Elizabeth, you've owned my heart from the beginning. It may live inside me, but it will only ever belong to or beat for you."
A single tear fell from her eye & ran down her cheek. I brought my hand up from her chest, wiping it away with my thumb, then let it rest at the nape of her neck. I pulled her close so our foreheads could rest against each other.
"I guess it's time to tell you what I didn't say that day."
She pulled back to look me in the eye.
"I'd love to hear it."
"I wanted to say, 'no other place could feel like home without you.' - Elizabeth, you didn't know I'd initially come here to protect you, but I did, & I was worried you'd see straight into my heart if I said that. You'd see how hard & fast I was falling in love with you. I would be exposed. I wouldn't be able to hide it. I wanted you, and I wasn't sure I could handle the guilt from joy if you felt the same...or the overwhelming disappointment & rejection if you didn't."
"We've wasted so much time, Nathan. But I'm not wasting another precious moment holding my love back from you."
She put her arms around my neck & pulled my lips down to hers. I took her in my arms & we kissed slowly, with purpose, drinking one another in; allowing our hearts to intertwine even more.
"'Lizabeth," I breathed.
"Hmm?" She murmured, leaving my lips & searing a trail of kisses across my jaw, down the side of my neck, & settling where it met my shoulder.
With one hand on her waist, & I brought my other to nape of her neck, gently caressing her cheek with my thumb. I closed my eyes & allowed myself to enjoy the feel of her warm lips on my skin. My senses were completely enthralled with her intimate attention to my neck. I didn't notice she was undoing two additional buttons (I'd left fastened on my shirt) until I felt the warm summer breeze on my exposed upper chest. Surprised at her assertiveness, I opened my eyes just a second, to see her hands run up my chest, before she began lightly kissing my neck again. I was lost in sensation. Her love overwhelmed me. I had to close my eyes, & allow myself to soak in this moment; committing it to memory.
I thought I knew what love was, & how I'd feel, if the right moment ever came for us to be together. But in the last two days, the realization was, I had no clue of how good our mutually shared love would feel, & how much more happiness I'd know, as a result of it. It was proving to be the most all encompassing emotion I'd ever experienced. She was filling my soul with her love; giving it freely, fully, & without hesitation. She made me feel needed, wanted, respected, and something else I'd been longing for...
I was desired.
I felt her pushing fabric to the side, as her lips continued blazing their trail into my flesh. I wasn't sure this was appropriate, but I couldn't generate the words to stop her, because sensation & love were speaking louder than my rational mind.
All of the sudden, she stopped, & I opened my eyes to see why? She'd reached her intended destination & her clear blue eyes were focused on mine. Seeing she had my full attention, she leaned in & pressed a warm, lingering, reverential kiss on my chest...right over my heart.
"Mine," she said, softly, looking up at me.
"Yours," I willingly acquiesced; barely able to speak.
We wrapped our arms around each other & held on tightly as if we feared someone, or something, would try & tear us apart. But in this moment I knew, whatever life threw at us, we'd never let that happen again.
Kissing the top of her head, I released my hold on her, & we finally pulled apart. Elizabeth started re-fastening my buttons, her cheeks turning pink, as she made eye contact with me.
"I guess I got a little carried away. That seems to happen a lot when I'm near you, Constable." Winking, she repeated the words I said yesterday morning to her; "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist."
"I know the feeling," I said, parroting the response she'd given me; & grinning like a lovesick fool.
Coming back down to Earth, I realized time had gotten away from us. Allie had been babysitting Jack & Goldie at the daycare where there were endless toys, & other children, to keep them entertained. I was sure Rosemary would've picked up Goldie by now. We hadn't seen the kids since breakfast and, having had adequate time alone together, we needed to get back to them.
"Are you ready to get back to the kids?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm ready."
We walked hand in hand to our horses, and I was in my saddle ready to ride, when I realized Elizabeth hadn't mounted Sergeant.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"No, I'm afraid Sergeant is far too tired to carry me back to town. I may have to walk him back," she said; an impish grin on her lips.
"Well, we certainly can't have that. Newton, I think we should give this lady a ride to town, don't you?"
I pulled on his reigns, in the particular way needed, for Newton to nod his head in seeming agreement. Elizabeth laughed and handed me Sergeant's reigns. I tied them around my saddle horn & she climbed up behind me. With her arms securely around my middle, holding me close, I clicked my heels on Newton's sides & he began taking us in the direction of home.
After a few moments of quiet, where the only sound came from the horse's hooves on the trail & the wind blowing through the trees, Elizabeth spoke.
"Nathan?"
"Yes, love?"
"Last night, when we shared secrets, I told you what my first impression of you was on the day we met. Would you tell me what your first impression of me was?"
I let out a long breath, remembering that moment with perfect clarity.
"I remember turning towards the sound of your voice & being unable to speak at first. You had on a white blouse & a light pink skirt. Your hair was pulled away from your face. I was drawn in by your blue eyes & soft pink lips. I'd never seen a more beautiful woman in all my life."
She hugged me closer & laid her cheek against my back.
"I love you, Constable Grant."
"You do?" I asked, teasing her.
"I do," she said, letting her hands roam from my waist up to my chest, & settling them there.
I took one hand off the reigns & covered hers, caressing them with my thumb. - A short while later, we arrived at the livery & saw to the horse's drying, brushing, feeding, & watering before leading them into their stalls for the night. We walked hand in hand, in companionable silence, to Elizabeth's house. I opened the door for her & we were greeted with the smell of something delicious in the air.
"Mama!" Jack exclaimed, running to hug her.
"There's my honey bear! I missed you! What have you & Allie been up to? It smells wonderful in here!"
"We're baking a pie for you & Mountie Nathan!"
"It was Jack's idea. It's blackberry. You know, because you both love blackberries SO much?!" Allie said, with a coy smile.
Elizabeth & I exchanged amused glances before she spoke.
"Well, you're right. We do love those blackberries!" she said, squeezing my hand. "But do you know what we love even more?"
"What?" Jack asked.
"You & Allie," Elizabeth said, putting an arm around my daughter as I ruffled her son's hair.
After the pie finished baking & cooled for just a bit, we sat down as a family to enjoy it with some vanilla ice cream, while the kids told us about their day. There were several kids at the daycare & it sounded like they all had a good time. Allie said there were just enough brownies for all the kids to enjoy, with only one leftover. Elizabeth's amused eyes met mine, & I winked at her, putting my hand on her thigh & giving it a light squeeze.
When we finished eating, we all worked together to wipe down the counters & table, sweep the floor, & do the dishes. Allie was eager to hear the details of Mike & Mei's wedding, so she & Elizabeth stayed at the house visiting about it, while Jack and I took Scout for his evening walk. When we got back to the house, Elizabeth and I sat together on the couch, holding hands & taking in the scene of our future; Allie quietly reading her book at the table & Jack on the floor in his pajamas, snuggled up to Scout, eventually falling asleep.
"Dad, I'm tired. I think I'll go home, if you don't mind?"
"That's fine, kiddo. Take Scout with you, please. I'll be along shortly."
"Okay. Let's go Scout," she said, putting on his leash. "Goodnight, Mrs. Thornton."
"Goodnight, Allie," Elizabeth said, standing to hug her before she left.
"Let me take Jack upstairs for you before I go," I said, picking him up.
Never waking, I carried him up the stairs & tucked him in, with Elizabeth by my side. I put an arm around her & we watched him sleep for a moment, before going back downstairs.
"I should go home & get some sleep. I have early rounds tomorrow but I'll be on your doorstep, at 6:05, for our morning kiss. Sound good?"
"Sounds perfect," she said, putting her arms around my waist.
Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her very tenderly. But before I let her go, I brought my lips close to her ear.
"Over nine hours before I feel you in my arms again. How will I ever make it? Maybe I should dream of you tonight...so I never have to let go," I whispered.
I felt her shiver in response & I pulled back so I could look at her.
"Why, Constable, are you saying you dream of me too?" she asked; her voice soft & curious.
I answered in perfect truth & in all seriousness.
"Every night for the last five years...and I will every night for the rest of my life."
"I love you, Nathan," she said; her voice full of tenderness.
"I love you, too," I said. I gave her one last kiss, bid her goodnight, & turned to leave.
Pulling the door closed behind me, I recalled how I felt several months ago. I was leaving her house, on a late night like this, & thought, "this could've been so nice if things had been different & we had our shot together." How I felt no sorrow on the heels of a "break-up" with Faith, but left here lovesick from one conversation with Elizabeth; solidifying she alone was in my heart & I could never love anyone else. How I thought my desire for her, & the beautiful family we could blend together, would have to stay hidden in my subconscious; only coming into existence at night in my dreams. How I'd have to continue resigning myself to only ever be her very good friend, Nathan.
But now, after years of all the heart sick, sad & lonely nights, I found myself in the most wonderful turn of events; my dreams of us, & our family, were becoming a reality...and they were sweeter than anything I could've ever imagined.
***Thank you for reading! Feel free to follow my creative writing journey, and discover the talents of my other writing friends, on Instagram. Stories Of The Heartie