August 25th 2005
"Hi Mom," Lorelai said brightly into the phone.
"Hello Lorelai. What can I do for you?"
"I just wanted to let you know that I don't think we'll be able to make it to Friday night dinner tomorrow."
Emily sighed and began to pace in her bedroom. She was just about to change into her pyjamas and watch a movie on the DVD player Lorelai had set up for her a few years ago. "I have to say that I'm disappointed," she said haughtily, "I raised you to give at least twenty-four hours notice when cancelling a social engagement."
"Well that's true, I do apologize. But maybe you and Dad can get in the car now and come see me," Lorelai winked at Luke. He shook his head at her in return.
"Lorelai, it's nine pm and I was about to -" Emily paused. "Why do you want us to come see you now?"
"Luke just got me settled into the hospital room and the doctor said the baby could be here before midnight. I guess I was stubborn when Luke said I was in labour and I thought he was wrong. Turns out I'm eight centimetres dilated and I made it just in time to get the epidural. I would have called you sooner, but I remember you telling me to not be a hero and take whatever pain medication that's available to me. So will you come?"
"Will we come?!" Emily rushed down the stairs and burst into Richard's office.
"Emily! What's -"
"Of course your Father and I are coming to the hospital!" Emily glared at Richard.
He jumped to his feet and followed her to the foyer to collect their things.
"We're leaving now. Wait, where's Rory? Does she need a ride?"
"Rory's here in the waiting room calling Sookie to start the phone tree. I wanted to call you."
"Thank you, Lorelai. We're on our way." Emily turned off the cordless phone and looked up at Richard with tears in her eyes. "She called us. She wants us there."
Richard gave her a watery smile and pulled her into a hug, "We've come a long way. And we need to admit that Luke is a good influence on this situation. He values family, he wants the girls to be close with us. I really think we lucked out with this man."
Emily nodded with her head buried into her husband's chest. She kissed his shirt and then pulled away, "Let's go meet our new Grandbaby."
XoXoXoXoXo
By nine-thirty pm the hospital waiting room was filled with Luke and Lorelai's family and friends. Buddy, Maisy, Liz TJ and Jess were playing cards. Sookie was laying out containers of cookies and pastries that she brought. Rory and Lane were helping Sookie and taking drink orders. Miss Patty and Babette were making calls and Morey was quietly doing a crossword puzzle.
When Richard and Emily came in Richard was almost out of breath trying to keep up with his wife.
"Did we miss it?" Emily asked as a greeting.
Rory's head spun at Emily's voice and she rushed to her Grandparents, "You're here!" She hugged both of her Grandparents and continued to talk, "I was kicked out of the room a few minutes ago because the nurse wanted to check Mom's progress. Luke promised to come out with a report once that's done."
As the words left her mouth Luke entered the waiting area in a hurry.
"Luke, Gorgeous, what's the word?" Babette called out, getting everyone's attention.
With a nervous smile, Luke gave the report, "She's at ten centimetres. They are prepping the delivery room and told me to get anyone who wants to see her before we start now!" He glanced around the room. "I think it should just be Sookie, Rory and Lorelai's parents. Sorry everyone, we only have a few minutes."
Everyone else waved to imply that they weren't offended and wished Luke well as the small group headed to see Lorelai. Sookie rushed ahead, calling back "I'll give her a quick hug and let you all have a private family moment." She pushed through the door and rushed to Lorelai's side. The two friends hugged and whispered to each other. Rory looked on affectionately as Lorelai tried to fight the tears that Sookie's sweet encouragement was producing.
"You've had the meds, it's still gonna be hard," Sookie smiled. "But you're the strongest woman I know. If I can do it, it will be a breeze for you." She cupped her friend's cheek and smiled, "Remember that you love Luke and try not to call him all the names in the book. Jackson is still a little hurt that I told him he was going to make my baby smell like manure."
Lorelai laughed, "Thanks Sook. I love you."
"Love you too, Honey. And you know I already love this baby." She hugged Lorelai and then headed for the door hugging Rory on her way out.
Lorelai wiped her eyes and looked at her family, "Well, are you guys ready to have another mouth to feed on Friday nights?"
Luke chuckled and wrapped his arm around Rory while Richard and Emily took a step forward towards Lorelai.
"I want to thank you guys for being so -" Lorelai was surprised by Richard raising his hand to make her stop talking.
"We need to thank you," Richard insisted. "We know that we didn't start out on the right foot with Luke. We're so grateful to Rory for setting us straight and to you and Luke for giving us another chance."
Emily nodded, "We're so proud of the woman you are and the woman you and Luke raised Rory to be, We're so looking forward to watching the two of you raise this little one into another fabulous person."
Lorelai looked over Emily's shoulder to see Luke and Rory wiping away tears.
"Hey Mom, I'm allowed two people in the delivery room. Rory already said no. I know you wanted to be there when she was born, but I was too stubborn. Would you like to join us this time?"
Richard tightened his grip around Emily's shoulders as he was sure he felt her legs buckle a little.
"I would love nothing more," Emily whispered, desperately trying to get the words past the giant lump in her throat.
"Here Emily," Luke said, holding up a hospital gown that the nurse gave him. He was wearing his and offered her the other, "We'll wait to put on the hair nets."
As Emily moved to take the gown, Richard steeped closer to Lorelai. "Thank you for asking her."
"Dad, I could ask if -"
"Oh no," Richard laughed. He smiled sweetly, not fighting the tears rolling down his cheek. He touched Lorelai's cheek, "I don't think I could bear watching you be in so much pain."
Lorelai reached up and Took Richard's hand. She whispered so only he could hear her, "I love you, Daddy."
Rory made her way over and leaned in to hug Lorelai while Richard looked on, speechless.
"I had a talk with my sibling the other day when you fell asleep during the movie," Rory smiled. "I told that little bugger to come out fast and painlessly."
"Thanks, Sweets," Lorelai hugged Rory closer and whispered, "Take care of Grandpa. I just told him that I love him so he may be in some shock."
Rory giggled and pulled from the hug. "I got it. I love you so much, Mom. Good luck." She got up and gave Luke another hug. "You're finally getting a kid," she weeped into his chest.
Luke backed away slightly, his arms still around her, but made sure she saw his eyes, "You're mine. You know that, right?"
Rory couldn't speak, she just smiled.
Luke took Rory's face in his hands, "As far as kids are concerned, you have to know you'll always be my first love."
"I love you too," she exhaled with relief before falling back into his arms.
The nurse came in. "Sorry I took so long, are we ready?"
Lorelai squeezed her Father's hand, "We're ready. It will be Luke and my Mom, Emily, joining us in the delivery room.
Richard and Rory gave Lorelai a final hug and made their way back to the waiting room with Richard's arm wrapped around Rory's shoulders.
"Okay Lorelai," the nurse smiled. "Are you ready to meet your baby?"
"Let's do it!" Lorelai answered with a smile. She got onto the gurney with Luke's help and they headed for the delivery room.
As the nurse pushed the gurney Emily walked beside her silently so she could hear what Luke was whispering.
On the other side of the gurney Luke was by Lorelai's head, holding her hand, "You promise that you won't be upset if I don't look," he tried to ask quietly. Thankfully he missed the fact that Emily and the nurse shared a smile.
"I promise," Lorelai kissed his knuckles. "Do you want to stay in the waiting room with Dad and Rory? I have Mom."
"No!" He insisted. "I want to be there. But nice try at attempting to get to know the gender before me." He smirked.
Once in the room the doctor and two nurses were a flurry of action. They would check in on Lorelai as they set up around her and gave Luke and Emily instructions. They were each on one either side of Lorelai, up by her head, each with a pitcher of water, a pitcher of ice chips and a few clothes. They were told to help keep Lorelai and themselves cool and hydrated. When one of the nurses asked Luke if he was prone to fainting he tried to hide his nerves better and told her he would be fine.
"I think the epidural is wearing off," Lorelai panicked. "Can I get a top up?"
Dr. Abbott laughed, "I'm sorry. You're too far for any more drugs. And it's not wearing off, the pain is just getting stronger. You should be feeling the start of a contraction now and when I tell you, I want you to push."
Lorelai squeezed Luke's hand and then turned to Emily, "Mom, I'm scared."
For an instant Emily saw her sixteen year old daughter looking up at her with terror in her stunning blue eyes. She stroked Lorelai's hair and cupped her cheek, "You're the strongest person I've ever met. You've got this!" She leaned down and kissed Lorelai's head and whispered, "It's a moment of pain, for a lifetime of happiness."
"Push, Lorelai!" Dr. Abbott instructed.
Lorelai grabbed onto her knees and bared down, She felt Luke's hand on her back while Emily wiped her forehead.
"That's it, you're doing great," a nurse encouraged. "The head is out," Do you want to see?" She looked up at Luke and Emily.
Luke took a tentative step forward while holding Lorelai's hand. He tilted his head and gasped. "Oh my god, Lorelai. You're amazing! I thought I wouldn't want to see it, but this is incredible." He took another step towards the doctor.
"Okay Lorelai," Dr. Abbott smiled. "One more good push like that and your baby will be out, we just need to get the shoulders out."
Luke was now standing behind the doctor smiling in awe. Emily still stood by Lorelai, wiping off her forehead and offering her ice chips.
Dr. Abbott rubbed Lorelai 's shin, "You ready?"
Lorelai nodded, "Luke should have brought a catcher's mitt," she teased.
"Oh sorry," Luke tore his eyes away from his child's head and began to make his way back to Lorelai.
"Stay there," Lorelai insisted as she took in a breath. "I've got Mom." She squeezed Emily's hand and pushed.
Moments later the room was filled with the sound of a baby crying. Lorelai fell back against the pillows and exhaled as Emily wiped her forehead with a cool towel.
"It's a BOY!" Luke screamed with joy.
The baby was wrapped and placed in Lorelai's arms. Lorelai began to cry. She pulled the blanket down to see her son's full face. "Hi Benny, I'm your Mom."
Emily quietly gasped. Lorelai forgot that the names she and Luke had agreed on were private.
"Oh Mom, I would like you to meet your Grandson. This is Benjamin Richard Gilmore Danes." She tiled the baby towards Emily.
With tears flowing freely down her cheeks Emily stared at the baby, "Hello Benjamin, you should know that your Grandfather and I intend to spoil you just as much as we love you."
"Okay," a nurse said sweetly, "Let me just take Benjamin for a few minutes. We need to get him measured and cleaned up." She then looked at Luke, "Daddy, do you want to carry Benjamin to the scale?"
Luke's eyes were wide as saucers and full of love and he reached down and took the baby from Lorelai and kissed her cheek. He walked extremely carefully and slowly the five steps to the cleaning and weighing area.
Dr. Abbott and the other nurse finished cleaning up Lorelai.
"Now don't be mad," Emily said quietly.
"That's always a great start," Lorelai sighed,
"Your Father and I upgraded your hospital stay. When we got here I told them who I was and asked what was booked for you. We made a few changes and you will now have a private room and a full time nurse assigned to you and Benjamin. If you should have any issues we've pre-paid for a private lactation specialist for you and if you don't need it the next woman who cannot afford it will benefit. We know you and Luke can provide for yourselves, but you're my baby and I wanted this to be as comfortable for you as humanly possible."
Lorelai looked up at her Mom with tired eyes, "Thanks, Mom."
Luke returned with a bundle in his arms wrapped in the classic white hospital blanket with blue and pink stripes. The baby had a little blue cap on. Luke smiled brightly at Lorelai as he placed the baby back in her arms, "Benjamin Richard Gilmore Danes, born on August twenty-fifth at eleven-thirty-five pm, weighing in at seven pounds and three ounces and nineteen inches long."
Lorelai looked down at the sweet boy in her arms, "I don't know anything about raising a boy."
"You'll do just fine," Emily insisted. "Plus you're not doing it on your own this time." She smiled at Luke.
"From what I remember of the few times I changed Jess' diaper, use a small cloth to keep him covered or be ready to duck."
The women laughed.
"I should go get your Father and Rory," Emily said.
"No. I'll go," Luke said. "You haven't had a chance to hold him yet." Luke kissed Lorelai and left the room.
Lorelai turned and lifted the baby towards her Mother. Emily took him and immediately snuggled him into her. She could tear her eyes from the perfect tiny sleeping face. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for naming him after my Father."
Lorelai smiled, "I want to be completely transparent with you. Benjamin was the perfect name for us because it could honour Grandpa and it was also Luke's Father's middle name. I knew it was too hard for Luke to have a child named William, he wouldn't want to hear it all the time. And when I got a list of family names from Dad and Liz, it popped out and Luke and I knew that it had to be Benjamin. I hope it doesn't take anything away from you, but I wanted you to know and hear it from me."
Emily's smile widened, but she still only had eyes for Ben, "It just makes the name all the more perfect. It brings both sides of Benjamin's family together on a whole new level. I'm thrilled for you both."
There was a small knock at the door and Luke pushed it open, "Can I bring them in?"
"Come in," Lorelai answered.
Luke held the door as Richard, Rory and Sookie rushed in. Sookie headed directly to her best friend and gave her a big hug. Lorelai scooched over and pulled Sookie to sit beside her. They cuddled together watching Emily hand the baby to his big sister.
"Now, come on," Richard demanded. "Luke told us that it's a boy and Mother and baby are healthy. Can I please know my Grandson's name?"
"Mom, do you want to tell them?" Lorelai asked.
"No, you tell them," Emily insisted.
Lorelai sat up a little and smiled, "Dad, Rory, Sookie, I would like you to meet Benjamin Richard Gilmore Danes."
Richard gasped and looked from the baby into Lorelai's eyes. "What?"
"Well there goes my run as the favourite," Rory teased.
Everyone laughed but then Rory said, "Can I hold him?"
"Oh sorry," Richard jumped. He then gently placed his tiny Grandson into the arms of his beautiful Granddaughter and smiled at the image. Sookie snapped pictures before leaving. After Sookie was gone the nurse said it was time to take Lorelai to her room.
"Honey, it's really late," she smiled at Luke. "I'm not going to be able to deal with other visitors. Why don't you take Benny out there to meet everyone so they can go home to sleep. Mom can come with me and then let you know my room number."
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you? You want me to take the baby?" Luke worried.
"It's fine," Lorelai assured him. "The nurse is going to help me clean up a bit. I wouldn't be able to hold him anyway. Take him. Let him meet his people. That way when you come back I should be clean and ready to try to nurse him."
Luke made his way to her side and kissed her deeply, "I love you,"
"I love you too." she responded.
"Are you okay? I didn't even ask how you're feeling."
"I'll be okay. Just hurry back."
He kissed her again and then wrapped his arm around Rory's shoulders to lead his two kids to the waiting room.
"I'll join them, I have a few cigars to hand out if someone is inclined. I'll see you before I leave," Richard kissed Lorelai's head. Then planted one on Emily before following Luke and Rory. A moment later the waiting room erupted in cheers,
"I guess they made it," Emily smiled.
"They are a loud bunch, aren't they?" Lorelai laughed.
"But so nice," the nurse said. She unlocked the wheels of the bed and began to take Lorelai to her room. "Your friend brought a huge container of baked goods to the nurses' station. It was amazing."
XoXoXoXoXo
Luke heard the blanket rustle before the tiny voice began to cry. He jumped to his feet and was by the bassinet in an instant. He smiled down as he reached in and brought his son close to his chest. His heart was so full, he was genuinely happy and calm. He swayed from side to side making a soft shushing noise, trying to give Lorelai a few more moments of sleep. When Benjamin wouldn't settle, Luke placed him back down and began to undress his son's bottom half to change his diaper.
"Wow," Lorelai's raspy voice startled him. "Just when I thought I couldn't love you more. And then you go and change the baby's diaper! I guess there really is such a thing as a perfect human."
Luke snickered and shook his head, "I have a perfect human for you and I think he's hungry." He placed their son in her arms and watched as she offered the child her breast and his boy latched on and began to eat.
"Wow, you women really don't get enough credit for this Mothering stuff," he shook his head. "I mean you did it all on your own last time. Once I plant my seed you really don't need me, eh?"
Lorelai looked up at him with a loving and serious look on her face, "A good Father is so important. I did it alone last time because he chose not to be here. But Rory needed a Dad, thank god she found you. This boy is going to need you more than you know. Promise me you'll never leave."
Luke looked at her horrified, "No! Of course I'll never leave! I didn't mean that. I was just in awe of your body and everything. I mean YOU grew this human, YOU brought him into the world and now YOU are nourishing him. You're a miracle."
She caressed his face, "Just remember that when I ask for extra coffee."
He laughed.
But then she had a sad face, "I need to make a confession. And I really need you to hear me out."
"Okay," Luke had a look of concern.
"I don't know how long I'll breastfeed."
Luke's brow furrowed and he simply nodded.
She shifted Ben to the other side, "I did it with Rory for most of her first year. Partly because my Mom insisted and partly because it meant I was the only one feeding her and I was very possessive of her. But I hated it after a while. I actually think I was in a depression because I went from a fun loving teenager to a milk machine. But not only that, it hurt! I didn't see it as so magical or spiritual, and I knew my baby was going to connect with me either way. But Mom insisted, even when my nipples bled, even when I cried, and she only agreed after one of my ducts became clogged and I was in a huge amount of pain."
"Why didn't you say anything before?"
"I thought it would be different this time. I'm a very different person in a different situation this time. But these few times, I've fed him, I don't know." She stopped talking, looked down at Ben and started to cry. "I'm a horrible Mother, aren't I?"
"Hey," Luke said quietly as he sat next to her on the bed, "We talked about this with Dr. Abbott months ago. Remember? She said that the formulas they have nowadays are great. Plus they have things like vitamin D in them that breastfed babies need to take supplements. We will not leave the hospital without asking which is the one she would recommend. Plus I can help make the formula and you can sleep through a feeding. It will give me a chance to bond and really be a partner in this, okay?"
"You're not mad," she breathed.
He stroked her back and kissed her head, "Not at all. Apparently my Mom's milk wasn't coming in with me and she had no choice but to bottle feed me. She said it was so painful and stressful that she didn't even try with Liz. And Jackson said Sookie's not doing it this time. We don't think less of Sookie do we?"
With tears in her eyes, Lorelai shook her head, "Of course not. I just thought that you would be disappointed in me."
Luke shifted off the bed so he was able to be face to face with her, "Hey, no. That's impossible. Not for this." He gently grabbed her face to force her to make eye contact. "I love you beyond words. YOU are the woman that made me love again. You and Rory opened my closed off heart after losing my parents. The only way you could disappoint me would be if you left me. You got that?"
She nodded and then looked down, "He fell asleep, but we gotta burp him."
"Let me," Luke smiled. He took his son from his amazing wife and watched as she tucked herself back into her top. He noticed that she seemed more relaxed and happy than she had been in days, maybe weeks.
"How long have you been thinking about this?"
"This what?"
"The breastfeeding issue."
"Why?"
"Looking at you now, I just realized that I haven't seen you this calm in weeks."
She bit her bottom lip and smiled, tears fell again, "I've been thinking about it for a month or so."
He shook his head, "From now on, you can't keep things like that from me, okay? If something, ANYTHING, is stressing you out, we have to talk about it. Okay?"
"Okay," she nodded. "And thanks for being so amazing about this."
"Thank you for giving me a daughter and a son. This one I get to be here from the start. But you know, I think I want to do something special with Rory. She doesn't get that I see her as mine."
"What did you have in mind?" Lorelai asked with her eyes drifting closed.
"Not sure yet. Go back to sleep, I got him."
Moments later when Lorelai was sound asleep Luke stood by the window, watching the sun come up as he swayed with his cooing son in his arms. He looked at the beautiful boy asleep in his arms, so tiny and so perfect, he couldn't contain the tears, "I'm going to tell you all about my parents now, okay Ben? And let me start by saying, boy would they have loved you!"