Something Valen had said at dinner the night before stuck in Koko's head and played on an endless loop, again and again, until it felt like actual music. And while Koko went through her daily sequence of firebending forms, they began to feel less like martial arts and more like…something else.

That earworm nagged at her until the desire to satisfy it overruled her sense of dignity, and she slipped away to a private room in the gym. There were many such rooms, all for different purposes; this one had smooth wooden flooring and one wall with floor-to-ceiling mirrors.

Great. Now I can feel even more ridiculous.

But she didn't leave.

Instead, Koko searched her mind for the lingering fragments of a long-forgotten dance. Maybe Valen was right. Maybe her muscles would have a better memory.

After fifteen minutes of frustration, she concluded that as far as dancing was concerned, her body was on equal footing with her broken and scarred mind. And yet, there was something left—little bits of the past that skittered across the room like wild rabbits. If only she could pin them down.

She kept at it doggedly for another hour before throwing in the towel for the day. The mental drain somehow made her more tired than normal hard exercise. She passed the rest of her day outside on the surface, wandering through the forest in a haze.

But the fresh air smelled nice. Pine needles and damp earth and deep autumn. Right now, her whole life was underground, but part of her soul was still out there in the wilds of the world. Out there were all the people she had wronged; unlike the dancing, those memories never faded.

Some were now only ghosts, but many others were still living. Carrying on. Toiling under the weight of their suffering. She couldn't fix their lives. There was a twisted sort of satisfaction in knowing that nothing on this earth could assuage her guilt. As it should be. She had to live with imagining their burdens and making them part of her.

A widow struggling to make ends meet.

A middle-aged man rebuilding after his livelihood was burned to the ground.

A mother trying to figure out how to live without her firstborn.

A child begging in the street, starving, because his parents never made it home.

Those vivid mental images gave Koko a sense of purpose, almost as if she were carrying some of the weight herself. She needed that sting, that burning inside. It helped her feel real. Human. Compassion without pain was empty, and she had already spent eight years as a husk. Never again.

Tolai could say 'forgive yourself' until she was blue in the face. Koko did, in a way. She no longer spent all day locked in a cage of self-flagellation, or denied herself the simple pleasures of life like hot showers and good food. In fact, she passed the vast majority of her waking hours thinking of mundane things, or nothing at all.

But out here, with the sound of the wind in her ears, it would all come back. And she basked in the unwavering deep-down ache, because forgetting was worse.

"So did you talk to the Council?" Saph asked Koko before they started that day's training.

"I'm going to a meeting next week. I'll ask then."

"Next week? Ugh."

"Best I can do," Koko said with a shrug. As an afterthought, she said, "Your firebending is really coming along. I think we'll start working on a master form today."

As she'd hoped, Saph's eyes lit up.

"Really?! You think I'm ready?"

"Yep. But first: your warm-ups."

They never got around to the master form, though. Saph was still warming up when the gym's manager interrupted her.

"Hey, you've got a phone call in the office. It's the school. They need you to come down there for something."

"The school? Why? I'm kinda busy."

"They didn't say."

"They need me right now?"

He just shrugged and Koko let out an annoyed huff, though not directed at him. They generally got on pretty well.

I swear, if Shylo hurt himself again… she muttered to herself. But if that had happened, the medical center would've summoned her, so she wasn't too worried. "Alright, but I can't leave her alone. Could you call someone for me? I'll give you the number."

Fortunately, Opal wasn't busy and agreed to come right over—much to Saph's apparent disappointment.

"Can't I just have the afternoon off?" she muttered while they were waiting for Opal to arrive.

"Compared to training with me, a few hours with her won't be much different than a day off."

"Why is she my airbending teacher, anyway? I mean, she's fine, but I'd rather Shylo teach me."

"He's a street fighter who couldn't teach you traditional forms if his life depended on it."

"Seems like practical skills are more useful, anyway."

Koko shook her head. How could Saph not see past her childish desire to have her friend teach her? "You'll need both. Opal trained alongside Jinora and Korra, who were both taught by Tenzin, Avatar Aang's son. She also fought in real battles. There's no one better to have as your master."

Koko arrived at the school twenty minutes later to find Shylo, Zenya, and Valen all in the principal's office.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Valen after a stern glance for Shylo, who didn't have the sense to even feign shame.

Valen shrugged. "Same thing you are, I'm guessing."

"Indeed," the principal said. He was a thin man with a narrow mustache and a pointy beard on his chin. "Normally, we wouldn't call you in unless there was a problem with repeat offenses, but seeing as how this incident happened on their very first day of school, I'd like to nip it in the bud."

"What incident?"

"Please, sit down."

The room was cramped with four chairs all facing his desk, which had a nameplate reading 'Principal Haido'.

"Both of them cut class today," he said gravely.

"Seriously? That's it?" Koko was far more annoyed at having her day interrupted. She gave Shylo another hard stare. "One thing. I asked you to do one thing."

"Ah, gimme a break," he muttered. "I just went to the bathroom and then found Zenya wandering around in the hallway. I didn't want to leave her there alone."

The other guilty party was staring off into space with one dirty foot casually up on the chair and her arms crossed over her bent knee. Oblivious and unbothered.

"Again," Valen said to Haido, "I'm very sorry. She doesn't know any better. I was told that, with her being in a special class, she would be given allowances for being a little different than other kids."

"Be that as it may, we have a reputation to uphold. There are rules that everyone is expected to follow, and she needs to learn discipline. They both do. You, young man," he said to Shylo, "have no excuse. You should know better." He turned his gaze on Koko. "And if he doesn't, that's a reflection on you."

She allowed some of her ever-simmering anger to slip through and leaned forward with narrowed eyes. "You have a lot of nerve, talking to me like that."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Haido said with an insufferable smirk. "I'm not afraid of you."

The comment might as well have been a physical slap. Koko forced a breath out of her nostrils and sat back. "What exactly do you expect me to do?"

"Whatever you have to."

"Or what? You'll kick him out of school? I'm sure he'd be fine with that."

Haido laced his fingers together. "We try to do right by every student. Even if there weren't laws prohibiting it, I wouldn't expel him. At least not without a truly valid reason giving me just cause to do so. It concerns me that you, as his guardian, would be content with that outcome."

"Just say the word, Mister," Shylo said with a brash laugh. "I'm happy to cause lots of trouble if you want an excuse to get rid of me."

Koko rounded on him. "You are not helping," she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Alright, alright, sorry. Sheesh."

Haido lectured them for a few more minutes and then dismissed Shylo and Zenya back to their classes. "Hopefully we won't have to have any more of these meetings."

"We better not," Koko snapped, "because I'm busy training the Avatar, which you interrupted."

"Well perhaps you should give some thought as to who should be your first priority: her or the boy you took responsibility for. Good day."

She stalked out and down the hall, but Valen managed to keep up with her.

"Well, that was humiliating," he muttered.

"I don't know why they called you down here. Zenya has no concept of 'cutting class' and they're morons if they haven't figured that out. If anything, it was the teacher's fault for letting her wander off."

"I know. It's ridiculous."

Neither spoke again until they were outside. Was he looking for more conversation? Or did they just happen to be going the same way?

"I had a nice time last night," he said finally. "Thanks for not kicking me out. Didn't realize how much I needed to get some of that stuff off my chest."

Koko became aware that she was holding her breath, and had been for nearly two minutes. Her lungs were starting to burn already.

I really need to work on my breath training.

But when she inhaled and caught Valen's scent, she realized why she'd been holding her breath in the first place. Before, he'd predominately smelled of woodsmoke and pine needles; now, after more than a week in the city, he had only a subtle natural body musk. Koko couldn't find any words to describe it other than mild and not unpleasant.

"Sure," she said in response to his comment, though she couldn't relate to the sentiment. Even giving him a sliver of insight into the darker parts of her past had felt like having teeth pulled. There was certainly no catharsis for her.

"Don't forget—you promised to spar with me sometime. It's been too long since Zenya properly kicked my ass," he added with a short laugh, patting his stomach. "I've gotten soft."

Koko finally glanced at him sideways. He wasn't as fit as she was, that much was true, but he'd hardly let himself go, either. Although he only had a couple of inches on her and wasn't especially toned, his stocky frame gave him a burly air.

"I'm going that way," she said abruptly, filled with a sudden need to pay someone a visit.

"Alright. See ya."

"You can find me at the gym most days, if you want to spar." Don't want him to think I'm avoiding him. I'm not. Why would I?

She went straight to Tolai's office and waited for the current patient to leave before letting herself in. The receptionist was used to this behavior and didn't try to stop her.

"Do you have any openings this week?"

"Really…?" Tolai's brows climbed nearly to her hairline. "After last week, I figured you might try to flake out on your next session."

Koko pursed her lips. "Do you have anything or not?"

"Mm, maybe. I'll check my calendar."

She got up to speak with her receptionist for a minute or so. Koko just stood there, spacing out. Her resolve was beginning to waver and she felt a little ridiculous.

Why did I come here? It wasn't because of Valen. I guess this whole thing with Shylo is an annoying problem. That's probably it.

"I can see you a week from today," Tolai said finally. "First thing in the morning. Seven o'clock, Spirits help me."

"Nothing sooner?"

"That's the best I can do. I just took on a new patient. And I'm doing this for you as a favor, by the way," she added with a hint of asperity.

"Fine. See you next week."

The phone ringing from the living room woke Koko from her usual shallow sleep. She didn't even turn on any lights to stumble through the house and answer it.

"It's the middle of the night. This better be important."

"I'm sorry to wake you. It's Jojin. Saph's not there by any chance, is she?"

"What?" Koko stood up straight, fully alert now. "No, of course not. She's not there with you?"

"No." Even with that one syllable, his voice shook. "Lia woke us up and when I put her back to bed, I noticed Saph was gone. And the front door was unlocked."

Fuck. Not again. Why does she keep doing this? "I don't understand. Don't you have an officer patrolling the hallway all night? And one outside, too?"

"Yeah. Neither of them saw anything. They want to know if they should sound the city alarm, but I'm worried that might make it worse if someone really does have her. But…I have an idea of where she might've gone. She was talking about Shylo earlier, how she'd like to visit him. He wrote down directions and we can't find the paper, so I assume she took it with her."

Dammit, Shylo. "I don't have a phone hooked up there yet. Ugh– Alright, I'll go see if she's there."

"What's the address? Mara wants to meet you there."

Koko hesitated, wincing. "...It's 15 Market Street, Apartment 106. Send the officers with her but have one of them leave his radio with you. And tell them to alert the train station if they haven't already. No one in or out. And no alarm yet."

She hung up and quickly threw on some clothes, mostly to avoid being ogled again. In thirty seconds, she was out the door. Great, now I gotta deal with Mara, who's going to be a miserable wreck. Fantastic.

Saph, what are you doing? she grumbled as she jogged through the quiet, dark streets of the suburbs. Even downtown was calm now; the night life had already died down. Haven't you learned your lesson about running off?

Around the corner of the last block, Koko spotted two officers and Mara, the latter of whom had bloodshot eyes and a clenched jaw. None of them said anything, just stalked along with purpose.

Koko was pulling out her key to get through the building's front door when an electric crackle got everyone's attention.

She's back, Jojin's distorted voice said over the radio. Everything's fine.

"Understood," the officer replied.

Mara's entire body slumped. She surreptitiously brushed her cheek and shot a glare at Koko. "This is your fault."

Indignation quickly overpowered the moment of relief. "My–?"

"She wouldn't have done this if you hadn't let that boy live here alone. Spirits know what they might've done with each other."

"Oh, please. There's no–"

Mara wasn't hearing it, though. She stalked away, leaving Koko fuming on the spot.

My fault? Is she out of her mind?!

But Koko had her own bone to pick with Shylo, so she went inside to lecture him. Her apartment was dark and quiet. Turning the light on revealed an empty room with evidence of heavy snacking on the tea table. Shylo's room was also empty. Maybe he'd walked Saph home…?

She settled in to wait for him. If nothing else, she wanted to get the whole story. Saph was safe; that was what mattered. Shylo could take care of himself.

So can Saph. Face it: You care more about her safety than his.

That was a sobering thought. Worse—it reminded her what Principal Haido had said about her priorities. She wasn't entirely sure what the consequences of letting Shylo run wild would be, besides getting lectured by people at the school. And the Council. She didn't think he would actually do anything terrible. Anything criminal. He was harmless. Just…young and bored.

He arrived not long after, eyes wide when he spotted her on the sofa with her arms crossed. "Uh– What are you doing here?"

"I got woken up by an interesting phone call."

"What about?"

"You can cut the crap. I know Saph was here." Actually, she didn't know for sure. But it turned out to be a good bluff.

"Oh." He gave her a helpless shrug. "Look, I just let her blow off some steam, then I took her home, okay? No harm done. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't tell her to sneak out and come here in the middle of the night. That was all her. She's really stressed out. We just talked and ate snacks."

"Alright. Fine." What else could she say? He hadn't actually done anything irresponsible, aside from spending all his food money on junk. She stood and headed for the door. "Please stop drawing attention to yourself unless you want me to move in and make you sleep in the living room."

"I'll be good. Pinky promise." He gave her a sheepish chuckle. "Uh– can I have a little more money for food? Saph ate a bunch of it…"