The Fate franchise is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.
Tales as Old as Time.
Hello, I'm Gudao from Learning with Manga Fate Grand Order or whatever the heck it's called. Welcome to today's episode. They asked me to introduce you to today's randomly picked Servant. Boy, I hope it's D'Eon. They already covered Astolfo-chan, which was a wise decision, because Astolfo-chan's the best. I love rolling for kawaii boy Servants. So let's see my luck in the gacha today...
Berserker.
Oh. That's not so good. Most kawaii boy Servants aren't Berserkers.
True Name: Florence Nightingale.
A woman?!
But, she at least has 'one', right?
NO?
That's it, I'm leaving. I didn't sign in to review busty women!
"You can't leave," Director Goredorf stood on his way out
"But why?!"
"Because otherwise Gudako will have to do it! Do you want us to trust HER on ANYTHING?"
Oh... Okay! But, only because it's you, alright!?
Other Names and Aliases: The Angel of Crimea, Mercedes, the Lady with the Lamp, the White Cloth of Steel.
What kind of dumb names are those?
Alternate Classes: Caster, Archer.
Alignment: Lawful Good.
Lawful ones are sticks in the mud! Chaotic is where the fun is!
Attribute: Human.
Gender: Female.
Bleh.
Natural Enemy: I don't know, the coronavirus?
Parameters:
Strength: B+
Endurance: A+
Agility: B+
Magic/Mana: D+
Luck: A+
Noble Phantasm: D
Dammit, overall those are darn good stats. That's one scary lady. No wonder she always catches you when it's time for shots.
Likes: "What do I like? Cleanliness, good hygiene, and good health. Is there anything else one could need?"
Dicks?
Dislikes: "What do I hate? Uncleanliness, lack of hygiene, and poor health. Is there a worse hell one could suffer from?"
First Ascension: The boobs are too big.
Second Ascension: The design barely changed! No wonder everyone hates it! Booooo!
Third Ascension: Who do you think you are, Ayanami Rei-chan? Bandages and eyepatches stopped being moe in the nineties! Old hag!
Final Ascension: They should have hired Konoe Ototsugu!
Biography:
Oh, I think I remember her now. She's one of Gudako's Servants. A meddling nagging bitch. "Be sure to perform safely while engaging in sodomy." Bah! Being adventurous is what makes romance interesting!
She's not an angel from Heaven, but a human here to save others.
She was some nurse in some war saving soldiers or such, and so she became a fanatic. I hope she saved many kawaii young warriors at least!
Class Skills:
Mad Enhancement: EX
She went insane from healing people in the war- make love, not war, even if Gudako says otherwise!- and now she is obsessed with saving people. The moral is that no good deed goes unpunished!
Personal Skills:
Nurse of Steel: A+
So, uh, is she like Superman or something? She never flies unless she has that stupid umbrella at hand! Superman doesn't need an umbrella to fly!
She can handle any injuries received in the battlefield! Except those dealt by Gudako! But since she's insane she defaults to cutting limbs. Scary!
Human Comprehension: A
She never comprehends me and I never comprehend her, so this Skill is bull. Who makes this stuff up?
Oh, wait, it's understanding the human body, not the mind. My mistake. Still, what's the point if she defaults to cutting your arms and legs?
Angel's Cry: EX
If she cries, your instincts of survival kick into overdrive! Maybe because you really don't want to fall under her care, so you'll keep good care of yourself.
Noble Phantasm:
Nightingale Pledge- I Will Abstain From Whatever Is Deleterious And Mischievous: C
Just look at that name! It's so lame! Hey, it rhymes. I'm good at this!
Anti-Army.
Reduces all enemies' attack by 50% for 1 turn.
Removes the party's debuffs.
It also heals you when you get a boo-boo.
Bah! Astolfo-chan's Noble Phantasms are much cooler and better!
Start of Battle:
"I'm here to save you. Even if that means taking your life!"
"I think hospital gowns should be made of steel."
"Let's end this swiftly."
"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"
Attack:
"Cleansing!"
"Disinfecting!"
"Sterilizing!"
"Preventative care!"
"Germ-free!"
"Sterilize!"
"Emergency treatment!"
"Emergency treatment! Good night!"
Damage:
"A minor injury!"
"Gngh...!"
Damage by Noble Phantasm: "A critical injury!"
"Not yet... not...yet...!"
Victory:
"For the sake of saving lives, I will do whatever it takes! That's right... Anything!"
"Angels... They do not give out beautiful flowers. They are the kind of people who fight for those in distress."
"We're finished here. Next!"
"Hm? Oh? Where are the injured?"
Everywhere, now that you finished with them!
Defeat:
"No, no, no, no, no... If I am to fall here, who will save those lives?"
"I beg of you... All of you... Please... Save others' lives..."
Asclepius is a much better physician than you, anyway!
Summon:
"Please rest assured now that I'm here. Let's save everyone's lives. Even if all lives will have to be sacrificed."
That's it? You aren't even going to give your name? Rude!
Noble Phantasm Activation:
"I will purge all that is toxic, all that is harmful! For as long as I have this power, I shall lead everyone to happiness! Nightingale Pledge!"
Is that supposed to sound epic? Please!
Extra Dialogue:
"Mercedes? (Sigh) You're never going to drop that, are you? My name is Florence Nightingale. I am not this woman you call Mercedes. You require emergency mental treatment! ...Why are you laughing? Me? No. I have already completed my emergency treatment. There are no concerns about my physical or mental health. Now come. Let us begin your treatment." (When you have Avenger Edmond Dantes).
"I see that you are a doctor. If so, then let us discuss proper medical hygiene. Yes. Right now. " (When you have Caster Paracelsus, Caster Irisviel von Einzbern, or Caster Asclepius).
Illya-chan's mom is a doctor?! Since when?!
"Now be good. Don't move. You are mentally injured, and treatment is necessary. Come this way. You do not seem... to understand what I'm saying. I guess I have no choice but to force treatment upon you." (When you have Berserker or Assassin Salome, Assassin Phantom of the Opera, Saber or Assassin Iwai Tsukuyomi, Assassin Toga Himiko, Berserker or Assassin Harime Nui, Assassin, Caster, Berserker or Archer Joker, Assassin or Berserker Harley Quinn, Berserker Freakazoid, Berserker Mask Stanley Ipkiss, Caster Gilles de Rais, Berserker Caligula, Avenger Kriemhildr or Avenger Antonio Salieri).
Good thing I'm completely sane!
"What are you supposed to do when you return from a Rayshift? And your answer is...? That's right. Wash your hands! And gargle! Do you understand?" (When you have Caster Illyasviel von Einzbern, Caster Miyu Edelfelt, Archer or Avenger Chloe von Einzbern, Caster or Berserker Negi Springfield, Caster Nursery Rhyme, Lancer Jeanne d'Arc Alter Lily Santa or Assassin Jack the Ripper).
Negi-kun is cute!
Birthday: "Hygiene is of the utmost importance, even in childbirth. As such you should show thanks for the cleanliness of your birth and upbringing. And yes, happy birthday."
Bitch, what do you know about giving birth? You're a Servant! You'll never have any children!
Event: "I sense new patients... Let's go. It's time for treatment."
To be fair, in Events there are always injured people indeed. Maybe if we stopped Gudako from attending them?
Holy Grail: "The Holy Grail? What are you talking about? Oh, but yes, I could use a bowl for washing hands in. It's important, you know, to always keep your hands clean."
Is it over? Okay, I'm going home. Please don't call me again unless it's D'Eon-chan's turn, or Gil-kun's, or Alex-kun's.
Gudao left the builduing whistling, and headed back home.
Stopping by the doorstep of his house, he turned around.
"Oh, it's you," he said. "What do you waaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
TO BE CONTINUED.
Next: The Lightning Strikes!