The episode opens in the fiery pits of hell, in the distance there's a sound of tortured Souls, being well tortured
Unseen voice: And what do I get in return for this deal
A second to unseen but familiar voice: Well I'll owe you a BJ, and I'm really good at BJ's, just ask Jonathan he's here right
The scene fades to show Lucifer Morningstar standing in front of the diminutive jarvis touch, racing a hand into a shake the deal is made, i'm the same jump cuts to the title card
The next scene shows Harley Quinn practicing with her mallet on Dummies made to look like burglars, she's wearing a costume that resembles a mix between a gesture uniform and a bat suit, after hitting a dummy so hard it knocks off its head she takes off her cow and wipes her brow of sweat
Harley: Damn I'm getting good at swinging, but I really need to learn how to stop being so hard, man it's such a hassle having to follow no kill rule, but at least the bat isn't harassing me anymore
She had barely put down her Mallet when the ground begins to shake
Ivy from the other room: Oh my God!, harley what is that
Ivy had barely entered the room when a Chasm opens in the floor shining out the light of Hell into the room
Harley: What the f
But before she can complete her executive the whole begins to vacuum everything in the room into its mass including Harley and Ivy
Harley and Ivy: Screaming
They fall for what feels like hours for them them but actually takes just a couple seconds for TV watches, when the falling is done they both land was grunts on the hard ground of hell, suddenly the Shadows of two freakishly muscular demons loom over our two heroines
Freakish demon number one: Quinzel! You are coming with us
The two women make noises of protest but are interrupted by one Burley demon each grabbing them, and they are dragged off
The scene cuts back to the store first world where king shark answers to see the chasm still on the floor but not showing the lights of hell, he lets out a soft nope and walks back out
Cut back to hell this time in a very professional looking courtroom, the only thing indicating we're still in Hell all the demons sitting in seats to witness the trial, harley and Ivy are seated at the accused desk, holly looks over to see at the other desk sits jervis tetch flanked by both Jonathan and a grotesque looking demon dressed in an ill fitting business suit, she can only get out a confused hum before demon standing next to the judges pew begins speaking
Demon: All rise for The Honorable Lord Lucifer who shall be the judge for this trial
With a puff of smoke Lucifer appears in the judges seat wearing what he usually wears but holding a gavel Leslie in one hand
Lucifer: Can someone remind me why I'm here again
He's handed a q card
Lucifer: Oh right * this is throughout and in a booming voice* harleen quinzel! You are being accused of the murder of many influential super villains, how do you plead
Harleen: Well I did kill them so guilty
Lucifer raises his gavel to give the the sentencing but is interrupted by harleen continuing
Harleen: But they were all in self-defense
A slamming from the side draws Minnie's eyes to the hatter
Jarvis: It was not! Yeah some of theirs * he points to the jury consisting of many of the super villains harleen has murdered* but not mine I wasn't trying to attack her and she killed me just to prove a point
Harleen: Well I had to kill him, if I didn't he would have just tried to get revenge for me fucking up his plans
Jarvis: I would have not tried to get revenge!, I didn't even like that plan! it was a stupid plan!, I was only doing it cuz I was trying to get my mind off my dead boyfriend who your ex murdered!
Jonathan in a noticeable Southern drawl: Pumpkin please calm down
Jervis only getting angrier: I will not calm down Johnny!, in fact I'm going to teach that b**** a lesson right here
The shorter man lunges at harleen and begins punching in the face
Jarvis: It * punch* should have * punch* been us * punch* who won that Award for best villain couple you juggle a w****!
Lucifer begins banging his gavel and calling for a recess, jonathan and the demon in the ill-fitting business try to pull Jarvis off of harleen, and Ivy is trying to punch Jervis off of harleen
The same cuts to outside where Jonathan and Ivy sit on a walk they're using as a bench
Ivy: So... What's it like in Hell
Jonathan: Hot, it's not 24/7 torture like a church make you believe, there is torture but it's in shifts
Ivy awkwardly: Cool, so... What's yours like
Jonathan: Being picked at it by crows... Listen I don't want to be here as much as you and your girlfriend don't, but your voice is angry and he wants retribution, and to get back to the living world, we can have sex in here but everything feels numb, and he misses the feeling of pleasure, and pain, or little bit of both
Ivy: So if you guys win the case you get to go back to the living world
Jonathan: Correctamundo young lady, and we'll get to choose the punishment your girlfriend receives
Ivy: So is that a unanimous agreement on the punishment or is it just the one who says it first
Jonathan getting a look of realization: I think I know what you're thinking
The scene Cuts back to the courtroom jervis is adjusting his hat, glaring daggers at harleen who does the same
Lucifer who appears in another puff of smoke: Does either party have anything to say
Ivy: Yes we do your honor, the accused except her guilty status with no exception and will take any punishment given to her
Harley: What
Lucifer bangs is gavel twice
Lucifer: This jewelry accepts this and turns to the accusers to have their input on what her punishment may be
jervis opens his mouth to respond but it is covered by Jonathan who yells
Jonathan: We decree that she must do a little jig for us!
Jarvis letters obscenities that are muffled by his boyfriend's hand
One scene of Harley busting an absolute move later
The scene cuts to a bedroom in which Jarvis and Jonathan screw like wild animals attempting to repopulate their dying species
Jervis: Oh God marchy!, i've missed the feeling of you inside of me
Jonathan just slaps the other man on the ass as it cuts to the credits