DC lost media: Batman and his robes

by catgirl33

A collection of scripts of episodes from shows and comic that already existed but would never shown on air or from shows that got cut from existing all together Inspired by my episode ideas and an idea for a rogues sitcom made by user Aesthetic-Core on Tumblr Link: /razzbarry/674787498372841472/what-if-the-gotham-rouges-were-a-sitcom

31. Just some incorrect quotes

Jonathan: *seductively takes off glasses*

Jonathan: Wow...

jervis: *blushes* Haha... what?

Jonathan: You're really fucking blurry.

jervis: I think we should kiss.

Jonathan: And I think you should die but we don't always get what we want.

jervis: Do you love me?

Jonathan: We're literally married.

jervis: Yeah, but as friends or—

*Jonathan is crying after a breakup*

jervis: There there, Jonathan.

Jonathan, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

jervis: Great question—

jervis, on the phone: So no head?

jervis: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*

Jonathan: Go fuck yourself.

jervis, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Jonathan: jervis, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

jervis, naked in Jonathan's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Jonathan, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

edd: You want to know why people are so afraid of clowns? Well you know what people say about how their feet aren't the only thing that's big? And how people who drive really big cars have small dicks? Well clowns are out there with their big feet and tiny cars...

edd: What's your body count?

Jonathan: Do you mean sex or murder?

edd: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Jonathan: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

edd: I—

edd: I don't know the correct answer to that question.

Jonathan, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it's doing?

edd: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Jonathan:

Jonathan: Water you doing?

edd: I hate you with every inch of my body!

Jonathan: That's not a lot of inches.

Jonathan: What's wrong with you?

edd: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Jonathan: You've got to act tough, edd! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you!

edd: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it.

edd, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.