"What. a. day. " Lucy said as she opened the door to her apartment. She was greeted by the sound of silence. "Ohh right." she murmured, glancing at the calendar. Celina was working the night shift, Tamara had moved out, and Tim was. . . Tim wasn't hers anymore. She was alone tonight. She had been on her own since she was eighteen, packing up and out of her parents house as soon as she was able, so being alone was nothing new. Lately however, she couldn't stand the thought of being alone. Being alone meant she was also alone with her thoughts. The silence of her empty apartment echoed with the memories of what could have been. Every creak of the floorboards, every groan of the old building, seemed to whisper reminders of her failed relationship. The shadows cast by the faint moonlight seeping through the blinds twisted into visions of Tim's face, his smile, his laughter. And with those visions came the relentless barrage of "what ifs" and "if onlys" that Lucy couldn't shake off. She sighed, and turned on some music, trying to fill some of the excess space. She walked over to the fridge pulling out the almost empty bottle of Rose that Celina had left in the fridge. She opened it, and poured her a small glass. She swirled it around, sniffing the pink liquid. She lifted her lips to the rim when there was a knock on the door.

"Tamara?" Lucy said as she answered the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I've brought dinner." Tamara strolled in, setting a greasy paper bag on the counter. She looked around the apartment. "The sad music. . . the almost empty rosé . . . The look of depression on your face. You're still moping!"

Lucy grimaced. "I am not moping!"

Tamara nodded. "Mmmhmmm sure."

"It's just been a rough day. I haven't even had a drink of that wine."

"It's half empty" Tamara replied, tossing her hands in the air.

Lucy let out an exasperated sigh. " That's all that's left over from Celina and Bailey's Golden Bachelor night!"

Tamara crossed her arms in front of her, pursing her lips. "Sure, sure."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to unwind. Work was crazy, and I think I'm coming down with something."

Tamara began to pull fries and paper wrapped sandwiches from the bag. "Aww work. Happen to talk to any. . . male coworkers today?"

Lucy unwrapped her sandwich smiling. A veggie burger with extra pickles. Her mind instantly flashed to Tim, bringing her her comfort meal in the hospital. Her stomach lurched. She sat the sandwich down, nibbling a fry instead. "Any male coworkers . . . I thought we agreed that anymore Tim discussion was off limits?"

"Who mentioned Tim? I just said male co-workers. he must just be on your mind!" Tamara shrugged, biting into her burger.

"You're awful." Lucy said, nibbling another fry. "No, I did not talk to a certain male co-worker today."

"SERIOUSLY?! We've got to get you guys talking again."

Lucy sighed. "Tamara, We're not getting back together. Not right now anyway. . . maybe not ever." Her heart sank as she verbalized her feelings.

"I just thought things would be better since you know, saved his life and everything."

Lucy took a bite of her burger, chewing slowly before answering. "It's not that simple. . . we. . ."
Her stomach rolled. She dropped her burger, clamping her hand over her mouth.

"Lucy?" Tamara asked, "you ok?"

Lucy took a deep breath through her nose, the nausea subsiding. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, you look green."

"I haven't felt a hundred percent, I just need some sleep."

Tamara turned up her nose. "If I bring you food and end up with the plague . . ."

"It's nothing. Work has been crazy. You know with the whole jumping from a moving vehicle to another moving vehicle. . . and the paperwork."

"Aww yes that paperwork will just wipe you out."

Lucy laughed. "Yes. My body is just catching up to everything that happened. I'm fine." She slowly nibbled a fry. "I do have some exciting news."

"Oohh do tell!"

"Grey asked me to become a training officer today. We've got a new batch of rookies coming in, and he was impressed with my work with Celina."

Tamara popped up hugging Lucy. "Lucy! That's great!"

"The test is in a month, but if I cram, I think I can do it."

"I know you can do it."

A wave of nausea punched Lucy hard, bile rising in her throat. She took off, barely making it to the bathroom.

Tamara ran after her, knocked on the door once the bathroom became quiet. "Are you ok?"

Lucy rested her head on the cool tile of the bathroom floor. "I'm ok."

"Is it alright if I come in?"

"I'm done. . . I think."

Tamara cracked open the door. "You look awful."

"Well thanks."

"I don't think you're ok. It sounded like the exorcist in here."

"Harper and Angela just got over some kind of stomach funk that their kids gave them. They probably passed it to me."

Tamara glanced over at her, skeptical. "Take a quick shower and climb into bed. I'll run down to the Golden Dragon and get you some soup."

Lucy smiled, weakly. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do, now go get in bed right now."

Lucy laughed weakly. "Yes ma'am."

…

"BRADFORD!" Sargent Grey barked from the stairwell. Tim looked up from his paperwork, wincing when he realized that even the watch commander was changed into his civilian clothes and headed home.

"Sir, I promise I'm leaving soon. That sorority brawl at UCLA has me swamped in paperwork."

"Why isn't Thorson helping you?"

"It was his friend's birthday. I let him go early."

Grey smiled, chuckling softly. "Don't take this the wrong way but you're getting soft in your old age."

"You're not exactly a spring chicken yourself."

"You looking for a blue page?" Gray scowled jokingly.

Tim laughed. "I promise I'll go home soon."

"Good. Kojo's probably running around eating your slippers because you left him, with all this overtime you've been working."

"I assure you Kojo is living the high life. I joined one of those dog walking service apps. He gets lots of walks and time at the dog park, and I'm pretty sure too many treats, he's getting kind of pudgy. I play with him in the backyard every night before bed, no matter how late I get home."

"It's been pretty late here lately. . . All this OT doesn't have anything to do with a certain female cop does it?"

Tim frowned. "Are you asking about my personal life sir?"

"I am when it affects my officer."

"It's just so . . . empty without her. Everything is so quiet. So cold." He blurted out. He had tried to bite his tongue but a moment of vulnerability slipped through. He was tired. His soul was tired. Lucy was a force of nature, a beaming ball of sunshine and laughter. Kindness and warmth like Tim had never seen practically radiated off of her. Yes, life without Lucy was rough.

Grey put his hand on Tim's shoulder, knowing how much strength it took for Tim to share that. "Why don't you talk to her?"

"I did. . . Well I tried to. Baby steps I guess? "

"It didn't fall apart overnight, it won't come back together overnight. Chen has a good head on her shoulders, she'll come around."

"The good head on her shoulders is exactly why I'm afraid she won't come around. I think I ruined it for good." he said quietly, mad at himself for putting everything that had been floating around in his head out for Grey to see.

"The woman jumped from a vehicle that she was driving, to *Another* moving vehicle, to save you. I think there is hope."

Tim forced a smile onto his face. "She's Lucy. She'd do that for anybody."

"Are you still here avoiding life Bradford?" a voice called from behind them.

Both men turned to see Angela Lopez strutting into the bullpen.

"Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?" Tim replied.

"Wesley got an emergency call so our trip is off. Jack has hit the terrible twos and Zee is . . . well she's Zee. Patrice asked me if I needed to catch up on any work while Wesley is out, so here I am."

Grey and Bradford both laughed. Zoe Erin Evers, or Zee as she was lovingly referred to as, was just as stubborn and just as tenacious as her mother. She had come out of the womb giving her parents a run for their money.

"Ha ha, ha ha, it's so funny that I'm being overthrown by a miniature army that I created myself. I'm currently drafting my own mother's apology letter for having to raise me. What are you two still doing here?" Angela asked with a deadpan expression.

"I'm trying to tell Bradford to give my hand a rest. I'm getting carpal tunnel from approving all of his OT requests."

"And Tim is trying to avoid his feelings." Angela said as she sat down in Tim's chair.

"I am not. Four sororities clashed over some frat bros over at UCLA. I'm still doing paperwork. It was mainly just hair pulling until Some Regina George ripped Barbie's lulu lemonade bag. Then all hell broke loose. "

Angela snorted. "It's LuluLemon, and say what you want, you're burying yourself in paperwork to avoid going home and dealing with the Lucy situation. I'm your best friend, you can't fool me."

"I don't have a best friend." Tim said, exasperated.

"That's exactly what he's doing, classic avoidance coping." Grey interjected.

Tim shot him an inquisitive look and Grey shrugged. "Luna's been listening to that podcast at night. It's insightful. You should check it out."

Angela spun the chair around to face Tim."You did this when Isabel first dipped too. Listen to me, Lucy still loves you, I know she does." Her eyes were gleaming with conviction.

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "She can love me and not want to be with me."

Angela shook her head, gripping his arm tight. "She's scared, Tim. Scared of getting hurt again. But I've seen the way she looks at you, the way she still cares for you. She's just trying to protect herself."

Tim sighed, his eyes softening slightly. "Even if that's true. . . We can't just go back to the way things were."

Angela's expression softened. "No, they can't, but they can be better. Have some faith Tim. Faith in Lucy, Faith in your love for each other," She patted his chest. "Faith in YOU. You two have something special, something worth fighting for."

Tim rubbed his temples, Angela's words stirring a glimmer of hope within him. Could they work this out? Could Lucy still love him, despite everything? He was afraid to let himself even imagine that scenario.

Angela's phone rang, shaking him from his trance.

"Patrice? Is everything ok?" Her eyes grew wide. "What do you mean you gave them markers?! What happened to the cat? Ok, ok, I'll be home in just a minute. She stood up sighing.

Grey chuckled. "What did baby Angela and One eyed Jack do now?"

She shot him a look. "This is my circus, these are my monkeys. I have to go."

Grey and Tim both laughed as she stalked out of the precinct.

"That woman is going to have her hands full with that girl, I tell you that."

Tim laughed. "Think about poor Wesley and Jack."

Grey's phone began to ring, and he glanced at it. "Oh that's Luna, I better get going."

Tim nodded. "Have a good night."

"Don't stay too late Bradford. Seriously, go home, love on the dog, and then maybe text Lucy?"

"Goodnight Sarge." Tim said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Grey threw up a wave and headed down the hall.

"And Sarge?" Tim called out.

Grey stopped, turning his head "Yeah?"

"Sorry for just spilling all this on you, like some kind of Gilmore Girl."

Grey chuckled. "Go home Lorelai."

…

"Honey I'm home!" Tamara sang out, as she let herself into Lucy's apartment.

"I'll be out in just a minute." Lucy called weakly from the bathroom.

Tamara started to unpack the bags she had brought in.

Lucy entered the living room, now clad in cozy sweats and a big t-shirt. "I was starting to get a little worried about you."

"I stopped at the mini mart on my way to the Golden Dragon." She gestured to the kitchen island."I got you some crackers, ginger ale, and. . ." She handed her something still wrapped in a bag.

"What's this?" Lucy asked as she opened the shopping bag. Her heart sank. "A pregnancy test?"

"Lucy. . . "

"I'm not pregnant Tamara." Tim's face flashed into Lucy's mind and her heart broke all over again. "I can't be." She threw the box on the counter, like it was burning her hands.

"You and I both know that you very, very can be. You guys weren't exactly quiet."

Lucy winced. "Sorry for that again."

"You're nauseous twenty four seven. You fall asleep before eight. You teared up watching that old couple cross the street the other day, It's a possibility."

"That old couple was absolutely precious! Do you know how rare that is nowadays?"

"Lucy just take the test."

"I'm not pregnant."

Tamara crossed her arms in front of her. "If you're not, go take the test and prove me wrong."

Lucy sighed. "Fine." She grabbed the box off the counter and stormed off into the bathroom..

She locked the door and took a deep breath. She stood in front of the bathroom counter, staring at the small white box perched on top. She sighed loudly, her hands shaking slightly as she reached for the box.
"Okay Lucy, You can do this." she whispered to herself. She opened the box, and slid out the pregnancy test. She gently glided a hand over it, staring at it like it's a ticking time bomb.
Her mind raced. What if it's positive? What if her whole life changes in an instant? What about Tim?
She took another deep breath, and tries to calm herself down. She glanced at the instructions, her eyes scanning the paper quickly. " Okay, pee on the stick. Wait two minutes. Results will appear. Here goes nothing."
She takes the test and heads to the toilet, her heart racing with.

. . .
Lucy stands frozen, staring at the pregnancy test in her hand. A little pink plus sign stares up at her, turning her whole life upside down. Her eyes well up with tears as she thinks about the complicated situation she's in.
"I'm . . .I'm going to be a mom." She whispers. Tim instantly flashes in her mind, his adorable, dimpled smile, his beautiful blue eyes. "Oh my God, Tim's going to be a dad."
She feels a wave of nausea wash over her, and it's not just morning sickness this time. Her emotions are going crazy, ,happiness, fear, excitement,uncertainty all of it just churning inside her.
Tim. She's going to have to tell Tim. She thinks about the future and how this changes everything. No matter what she and Tim decide on now, they are forever intertwined.
"Lucy? Are you ok?" Tamara knocks on the door.
Lucy is frozen, just staring at the test. All she can think about is Tim.
"Tamara knocks again, "Lucy?"
Lucy unlocks the door, without saying anything.
"Are you ok? I heard the timer. . ." Tamara says, her voice trailing off as she takes in Lucy's look of shock.
Lucy glanced over at her, her eyes wide and unblinking.
Tamara's expression changes from curiosity to shock, then excitement, all in a matter of seconds.
"Oh. My. God." Tamara mutters. Lucy's face says it all - the shock, the fear, the uncertainty, and the hint of excitement. Tamara doesn't need to hear the words to know what's happening. Lucy is pregnant.