Chapter 2

After she hurried away from Lee, Amanda made a mad dash to the parking lot in a panic. She knew she needed to put some space between them as soon as possible. Once in the safety of her car, Amanda sat there for a long time, breathing deeply, while trying to rein in her emotions.

"Amanda! What did you do? Not Exactly? I hope that wasn't a mistake. Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut." She covered her eyes with both hands, shaking her head back and forth. "Calm down, it'll be okay, I know it will."

Amanda could kick herself for not telling Lee the truth when she found herself alone, wrapped in his arms in the swamp last night. She knew she was in love with her partner and had been for quite some time, but she tried to deny her feelings because she was afraid. There was the fear Lee would pull away from her if she decided to admit her true feelings for him. She desperately wanted to be honest with him. However, at the last second, as she stared into his beautiful hazel eyes, she lost her nerve.

As more memories came back, Amanda's lips turned upward into a broad grin, and a dreamy expression covered her face. I could swear I felt a big shift in him last night. I'm almost positive the look in his eyes was telling me he feels the same way as I do. And Omigosh…we almost kissed. I wish we had the time to talk about what happened. I just couldn't because I needed to get home. But I'll bet he's just as scared of his feelings as I am.

In light of the situation, Amanda was still afraid to try and take things further with him for so many reasons. Amanda thought if she pushed too hard or too fast, she'd probably lose her chance with him. She was pretty sure anything which involved commitment or love would most likely have him running for the hills.

She was also well aware of his trust issues, and she knew he was secretly afraid of losing someone else he cared about. They'd talked many times before about the loss of his parents, his last partner, Dorothy, and even Eva.

And of course, she had her own insecurities from her failed marriage and the small string of relationships she'd been in since she met Lee, which still made her a bit gun-shy. Amanda couldn't allow herself to fail again, she wouldn't risk the relationship Lee and she'd already established.

She thought it would be better to wait to see what could happen between them and let their feelings grow on their own. Amanda knew she needed to give Lee more time to come to his own realizations, and hopefully, in his own time, he'd admit his true feelings for her. Amanda could wait. In her heart, he was well worth waiting for.

Even though Amanda was fighting an inner battle with all the mixed-up emotions she was experiencing, she still regretted not being able to kiss her handsome partner.

"I wish we weren't interrupted again last night. I mean, we've had other opportunities before, but I still can't believe I haven't really kissed that man yet. Just once, I want to know what it would be like to just let go and allow myself to get caught up in the moment. I really do love him. I just wish I could tell him." Amanda whispered as she looked at herself in the rearview mirror.

By the time she was done ruminating, Amanda realized she'd been sitting in her car for almost an hour. She shook her head, chuckling, and started the engine. As she drove, Amanda knew she needed to come up with a plausible explanation about last night, knowing it would be difficult. She hated lying to her mother.

Amanda finally made it home and parked her car in the driveway. She knew Dotty was not one for letting things go, so she took a couple of deep breaths before heading into the house. As she opened the back door, she tried to steel herself for the barrage of questions she knew would be coming.

After convincing Dotty everything was fine and she was okay, Amanda laid down for a much-needed nap. As she tried to sleep, her mind reeled and wouldn't shut down. Amanda tossed and turned before she finally fell into a restless sleep.

As soon as she woke up, all her anxiety and concerns about Lee came flooding right back with a vengeance. Embarrassed by her behavior, Amanda was dreading the next time she'd have to face him. For the remainder of the day, she couldn't concentrate or think about anything but Lee, all while trying to spend time with Dotty and the boys.