Three years in, and, for Lily Potter, it never got easier.

The first had, she kept telling herself, been the worst; a reminder of not only her girlhood lost but of the truth her son would have to be without her, unshielded. No one to intervene or prevent something – anything – from getting out of hand. Still, when he smiled at her the moment they crossed through the barrier to Platform 9 and 3/4, she felt some ease, and affectionately ruffled his hair. And each year he keeps getting closer and closer to me. You'll break my 5'7" soon, won't you, dear? Her son catching sight of his two closest friends first, she smiled a little more, stepping towards the frassled, red haired woman half heartedly scolding her twin sons as they attempted to startle some of the younger kids by mirroring each other's movements nearly seamlessly. The woman turned when she heard footsteps, and soon embraced her, the both of them letting go and laughing when the only girl amongst the group snatched a loose set of papers from the hands of her twin brothers before they could react, quickly handing them back to the girl sat around atop her luggage next to one of her other brothers. She blushed when the green eyed boy gave her an easy smile, before skipping back to her own bags, careful not to leave them long lest her twin brothers realised they were unattended. Pushing her bags down towards the farthest and likely emptiest train car, the twelve year old only stopped to tightly embrace her mother before going off to join a petite blonde girl in strange glasses who called her over.

It was, in a word, normal.

"I take it you're still proud of Percy for making Head Boy," Lily noted when Molly waved at her third son before he stepped onto the train with his bags, the seventeen year old giving her a rare smile back. "He really is nervous about it, isn't he?"

"Being a Prefect was one thing but, especially after last year, this is another," Molly said, pausing only to send her twin sons a pointed look when they took out what appeared to, at a glance, be firecrackers from their pockets. "I swear," She said under her breath. "I love them, but, at times, I really don't understand them."

"Admittedly, eccentricities aside, they're both incredibly intelligent," Lily hesitated when a hint of dejection crossed one of her closest friend's face. "You and Arthur do all you can for them. That's all anyone can ask."

"Perhaps, but it still…" Molly hesitated. "We were truly lucky this year, finally having enough to provide them, Percy, Ron, and Ginny with what they need and then some for school after winning the lottery and saving just enough to be able to do so after coming back from visiting their brother in Egypt. If they don't begin to succeed – or at least find a desire to – now, I'm worried it won't come."

"With enough pushing from you and Arthur, I'm sure they'll come around. You said Bill and Charlie both did in the end, didn't they?" Lily smiled when Molly laughed a little. "You've got a small army on your hands, love. Try not to let the teenage rebellion get you down."

"I do my best," Molly half turned around, letting out a sigh of relief to see her twin boys heaving the last of their things onto the train before stepping on themselves. "I may very well just be tired," She said when she turned back to Lily. "I've had trouble sleeping well since the news of…well. Arthur working over time because of it has been rough. More so than I'd like to admit."

"You're each other's rock. That's only natural," Lily nodded, her shoulders beginning to tighten ever so slightly towards her ears. "Are the two of you alright beyond that?"

"If you mean financially, then yes, but mentally…it's becoming hard to disentangle the toll work is taking on him from the rest of our lives," Molly paused, lowering her voice a little when she caught a glimpse of the other boy with her son, Lily's, and the girl with bushy hair and a new, equally bushy cat in her arms with whom they were just as close. "That last," She eventually said, careful to let only Lily hear. "Has been no help of Cordelia's, as I'm sure you can imagine. The woman is an absolute nightmare. Well, to everyone other than her husband and children. I could, admittedly, simply still be heated after last night, but, dear God, I'm relieved he wasn't there to defend her. No matter what she says, it seems Cornelius will defend her to the bitter end."

"That's not quite true or fair, but I understand…and what she said to you and Arthur was over the line."

"We're all worried about the state of things, and, even though I agree with her that your son shouldn't have to bear the…" Molly took another glance back, relieved to find no one near enough to be or listening in on her Lily. "I know you and Arthur think he would be safer if he knows the truth, and that you think it could be something of a defence in its own right, and, Lily, I'm sorry but I truly think Harry has been through more than enough without the added grief of knowing his godfather is a mass killer."

"I still don't know what to believe," Lily bit her lip. "I understand his anger towards," Her jaw clenched. "Peter, but murdering him was not the way and certainly not – if he…if he really did not give a damn about the thirteen innocent muggles at the scene – in the way he did it. I don't want to think he killed the bystanders on purpose – the idea is horrible enough – but I also…God, Molly. I'm sorry. I haven't dwelled on the subject in so long, and it coming back up in the way it has…it's hard. Disquieting, even."

"I'm sure, and it's admirable you want to be honest with your son despite the pain this has caused you over the years," Molly reached over and gently touched Lily's tensing shoulders. "It's a hard bit."

"To say the very least. I…I can't stand the idea that one of my friends – one who would have done anything for my, James, and Harry's happiness – could be so blinded by a desire for righteous vengeance that he didn't care about anyone else he could hurt in the process," Lily wrapped her arms around herself, almost as though she were cold. "I hope he didn't do it. I've been hoping for nearly forever that we'll find out something that will explain away what happened, but I…I'm starting to think it may not exist to begin with. But, as for what we discussed last night," She shook her head. "Delia shouldn't have been so condescending to you or Arthur for your concern."

"I simply appreciate your defending us," Molly said, letting her go. "Although I certainly I don't know why she felt alright about speaking to me and Arthur that way."

"She can be…a little arrogant, at times," Lily replied. "And she is an American who is used to being listened to in no small part because of her position in MACUSA. I think – certainly since she rose to it a few years back – we've both heard her say 'I don't see how that's my problem when I have people for that,' before."

Molly frowned. "Being the Head of MACUSA's Department Of Magical Law Enforcement does not make Cordelia better than me and Arthur. And, frankly, what she said to us was less disturbing than what she said about," She paused to ensure she kept her voice down. "What she said about Sirius. I'm well aware she was joking but, nevertheless, it was both out of line and disturbing."

"As I think the three of us made clear," Lily ran a hand through her wavy, faintly greying red hair. "And, at any rate, it wouldn't be helpful even if we did sink low enough so as to do what she said."

"He's an animagus, though I don't think he's ever registered as such," Lily had sighed. "I don't know what he is thinking or how he managed to get out but, if he really is out to find Harry, I…I don't know how I feel about it. All these years later, and I still don't know if he really killed all of those people just to get Peter after what he did to me and James."

"Well, knowing he's an unregistered animagus complicates things," Delia had said, irritably slipping her reading glasses back into her purse and her wand back into her hair. "Then again, if we find him and he refuses to turn himself back, I'm sure he'd make a lovely fur coat."

Arthur had gaped at her a moment before shaking his head. "Cordelia, you're not going to like your role in whatever article gets written about that."

"I don't even know why she would suggest such a thing, even sarcastically," Molly remarked. "If she meant for it to be lighthearted, she was wrong."

"It was a more horrifying thought than anything else," Lily paused, forcing a smile when she saw her son coming back towards her with his friends in tow. "Almost ready to leave? I'd rather not have to try and throw you onto the train as it starts off."

"I won't let it come to that mum, don't worry," Harry said, laughing a little. "I'm just glad to be going back after the summer."

"You've got to let him do more with us over the summer," Ron added. "Keeping him around just about only muggles isn't as much fun."

"You still got to see each other," Lily calmly reminded him. "And," She sent her son a pointed look. "As uncomfortable as it can be, it's important to have some semblance of a relationship with your cousin."

Harry grimaced. "You do remember that he spent the first part of the summer beating on me with his friends while you were in France for work, right?"

"I didn't think that would happen. It was the first time I left you and I really thought Tunie wouldn't let anything nearing that happen to you," Guilt rose in her face again. "I'm sorry, Harry. We'll talk about it again before we visit them next summer."

"It's ten fifty!" Hermione exclaimed, looking down at her watch and then up at the clock on the platform. "We should probably get on now if we want any hope of getting halfway decent seats."

"Is your sister already on?" Molly lightly grabbed her youngest son's arm before he followed after Hermione. "Make sure she feels safe going back this year, alright?"

"Got it, mum," Ron said, awkwardly pulling her off him and waving at the other boy with them to get on the train. "Hermione's looking for seats, Eddie! I'll meet you two on in a minute!"

He grinned, brushing his long, curly hair out of his eyes. "Don't get too lost!"

"I won't!" Ron paused on the steps of the train when Harry lingered. "You alright, mate?"

"I am, I'll be just behind you," Harry said, pushing up his glasses and stepping closer to his mother. "Did you bring the form for Hogsmeade? You didn't put it in any of my bags last night."

Lily hesitated but finally unzipped her purse and took it out.

"Be careful if you go in," She told him, an unusual severity to her voice. "And stay with Ron, Hermione, or Eddie. Though, please, make sure Eddie stays out of trouble if you go. Delia and I may be friends, but I'd rather not have to hear her annoyed at her son getting into trouble."

"Thanks, mum!" Harry said, taking the form from her and folding it back up once he was sure it was what he thought it was. "I'll write you once we're settled in."

"You better," Lily said, half teasingly. "I love you."

Harry smiled. "Love you too, mum."

Seeing him disappear into the train and after his friends, the faint smile Lily had for a moment quickly dissipated. She looked between the train and Molly, only to startle when the train's horn rang out and the train began to leave. She wrapped her light coat a little tighter around herself, suddenly feeling a little cold.

"It never gets easier, sending him off, even though I know Albus will do everything within his power as Headmaster to keep him safe," Lily hesitated before tiredly shaking her head. "I just hope he'll finally have a normal school year."

Molly nodded, reassuringly setting a hand to her friend's shoulder. "After what happened to Ginny last year…I feel the very same way."

Hearing the door to the compartment click open, Harry, Ron, and Hermione all looked up. Seeing the boy who stepped in, Ron smirked.

"Finally got your baby sister off you, Eddie?"

"She's a first year, and, yeah, I got her off of me. She's with Ginny and her friends," Eddie said, rolling his eyes. "But I had to make sure she was with someone she'd feel comfortable with, otherwise mum would be upset. She's been really worried about sending Ivey off after…well, after everything that happened last year."

"I can't quite blame her," Hermione said, glancing back to the book in her lap and her new cat asleep at her feet. "Things were rough. I suspect I'd be worried about sending any child off to school for the first time were I a mother."

"Doesn't change the fact Delia is overprotective," Ron laughed when Eddie scowled at him. "Sorry, mate, but it's true. If anyone's parents we know could be described as paranoid about her kids, it would be Cordelia Amelié Fudge."

"Mum has always been that way," Eddie said with a shrug. "I just don't want to upset – more so annoy, really – her when she's still fuming about what Lottie spent her summer doing."

"You mentioned that in one of your letters!" Hermione marked the page in her book and shut it. "You said she had spent her summer in the States to see some of her friends over there. She stayed with your uncle, didn't she?"

"Mum's good old little brother," Eddie confirmed, rolling his eyes. "It was kind of funny, seeing how furious she was with him when he brought Lottie home. Of course, he should have expected that, especially when the first thing dad said to him when he saw Lottie was 'Delia is going to kill you.' He ended up having really poor timing, because he didn't even hesitate to tell dad 'no, she's going to kill me for letting her get a tattoo' without realising mum was already halfway down the stairs to see Lottie."

"She got a tattoo?" Hermione repeated. "Where? And what of?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "A blooming lotus flower and on the inside of her right ankle. It was stupid of her to do, but at least she didn't get anything written in Japanese or Chinese characters she can't read."

"It could have been worse," Harry quipped. "Although, I didn't quite recognise her when she stormed towards the train."

"Took some getting used to for me and Ivey, too. She's had stick straight black hair all her life and comes home after two months in the States with a tattoo and a platinum blonde perm," Eddie snickered a little. "And a new wardrobe that's…well, she definitely doesn't look like a younger version of mum now."

"Hopefully she'll ace her NEWTs at the end of the year, then, and your parents will let all of that go," Hermione smiled when he nodded. "I'm glad she – and your cousin – didn't deter you from signing up for Arithmancy. I think it's going to be a fascinating subject."

"Because I'm going to trust the judgement of my seventeen year old sister who has spent the last year trying to push as many boundaries as possible and my fifteen year old cousin who has a tendency to get into trouble for skiving off," Eddie joked. "In all seriousness, though, Lottie and Rufus are fine, but we're not all that similar. I didn't let them deter me from signing up for Care Of Magical Creatures, so why would I let them deter me from taking Arithmancy?"

"Either way, I'm glad they didn't," Hermione replied. "I'm looking forward to the number of new subjects we finally get to take. The only one I'm a little hesitant about is Divination, but I think that may be because of the way the subject is presented in the muggle world."

"Divination was the one subject mum was against me taking from the start. Don't know why, when she didn't have a problem with Lottie taking – and continuing to take – it," Eddie said. "I do get why she was against Care Of Magical Creatures after we got the book for it, though. I didn't think it would attack her when she tried to open it."

"It was the strangest book on the list," Hermione hummed. "But I think it'll be a fascinating class."

"The way the two of you talk about class almost makes it seem like we're already there," Ron teased. "I thought we'd have at least a little while before we had to start thinking about classes again."

"I'm more relieved, really, that we finally are going to have a normal teacher for Defence Against The Dark Arts," Harry grimaced. "I was surprised one of mum's friends would agree to teach, but I'm glad for it. At the least, we don't have to worry about Lupin ending up like Lockhart or Quirrell."

"Finally getting a normal and competent teacher for that class," Ron said, stretching out his arms. "Let's hope he'll stick around."

"Might be nice," Eddie agreed, looking to Harry. "Did your mum finally give you the form to let you go into Hogsmeade before you got on the train?"

"She did," Harry said, taking it briefly out of his bag to show him, Ron, and Hermione. "I wasn't quite sure she would, though, after last night."

Hermione eyed him strangely. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't she?"

Harry hesitated, glancing to Eddie. "You might actually know something about this, come to think of it."

"Why?" Eddie said, surprised.

"I overheard your mum, mine, and," Harry turned to Ron with an apologetic look. "Your parents, too, arguing last night," He glanced back to Eddie. "Your dad – and, I'm sure, your mum – has fought to keep this under wraps because he and others at the Ministry think it would cause mass panic, and because he didn't think I should know, but Sirius Black has apparently escaped Azkaban to come after me."

Eddie sighed. "I've known about that since the escape happened," He admitted. "Ivey and I were eavesdropping on our parents, partially because we were bored…but we swore each other to secrecy because we really didn't want our parents to realise we've gotten pretty good at eavesdropping on them."

Harry stared at him in disbelief. "And you didn't say anything until –"

"In fairness," Hermione calmly interjected. "No one is going to send an owl saying that."

"And why would Sirius Black come after you?"

Harry tiredly ran a hand through his hair. "Because, by all accounts, he's a mass murderer –"

Hermione, Eddie, and Ron all flinched.

"– But why he would want to come after me is something I don't understand. Mum explained that he was in Azkaban because he killed the man who sold her and dad out to Voldemort and thirteen innocent muggles that were in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he's coming to take me away when he couldn't the night my dad was killed protecting me, then I don't know why. Best I can guess is to raise me himself, or change me or some shit, maybe finish something, I suppose, but I can't wrap my head around what or why."

"What has your mum had to say about it?" Hermione asked, her curiosity overcoming everything else.

"Not as much as I wish she had. According to her, she was only able to talk about it with me briefly this morning because I'd found out on my own from eavesdropping on her, Delia, Molly, and Arthur's argument," He sent Eddie a pointed look. "Apparently your mum made her take an Unbreakable Vow that she wouldn't say a word on the subject to me unless I found out about it – somehow – on my own first."

"Sounds like something mum would do," Eddie admitted.

"That's all horrifying," Hermione said, shaking her head. "Knowing that, I can't believe she signed your permission form to go into Hogsmeade."

"I think she might know I'd find a way to go and see it with the three of you anyways," Harry said, briefly taking off his glasses to brush some dust off of them. "But I don't know what to think about any of it, and I don't think mum does either. From the little she told me, the evidence was airtight and the court ruled in favour of the prosecution, but a small part of her doesn't believe – or, maybe, doesn't want to believe – he ever killed those thirteen people when he wasn't the one who sold us out."

"If he didn't, then who did?"

"That's what I wish we knew," Harry sighed. "What I hadn't known, until I heard the argument last night, is that Sirius is my godfather. I…I don't know why mum never told me. He was in Azkaban, but I still deserved to know he was my godfather, didn't I?"

"She probably didn't know where to begin with the subject," Hermione gently reminded him. "As for your mum being conflicted on whether or not he really killed all the people he was imprisoned for…it's understandable. He was a close friend of both of your parents for years. Of course you'd want to think the best of them, even in the worst of circumstances."

"It was the best of times, and the worst of times," Eddie quoted. "And, no matter what's happened, most people will do whatever they can to convince themselves it's the best of times, where the benefit of the doubt can be given."

"That's the way it sounds," Harry fell silent for a moment. "I hope it's not true, that my godfather is an awful, heartless mass murderer…but I don't know what else it could be, and I think my mum has been feeling – probably has been for a long time – that way for a while, and the frustration with it."

It was dark out, but he did not feel safe. Then again, the darkness had become almost synonymous with the cold, then the fear brought out by the dementors. He couldn't help but wonder if he could and would ever get past that induced phobia.

He, also, found himself wondering if he would ever be comfortable again when he saw his picture in the muggle papers and the Daily Prophet. He certainly could not be out of his animagus form for very long, and he knew better than to test it. It seemed the whole of the United Kingdom were out get him, a sentiment, he bitterly realised, was essentially accurate.

He still couldn't believe, either, that the muggle Prime Minister had been informed of the situation but, then again, he supposed it made sense. Much as it upset him to see in both the muggle papers and the Daily Prophet, too, he found himself unable to blame Fudge for describing him as both dangerous and mad. Both of those things were, arguably, true. Anyone who was capable of remaining relatively sane within and then escaping from Azkaban after twelve years would have to be. There was no way around it. But there was a difference between that and the unjustifiable evil he had been accused of and convicted of. Though no one was ever able to even tell he had been there, it had been Peter who killed those thirteen people. Peter who had gotten away with those murders and the murder of one of their best friends and the attempted murder of that same friend's wife and infant son. Thirteen lives, and a fourteenth with the including of James, had been wiped out in an instant, and all but James' death had been pinned on him because they were unable to find evidence of the true killer.

If he were able to do so whilst in his animagus form, he would have laughed to himself. The memory of that day had been bad enough on its own, but, in its own way, darkly amusing to him considering the circumstances. The first reason for that quickly came to mind; while he had no involvement in the evidence collection or the court proceedings, Fudge had been one of the people who had him arrested. Had been one of the people forced to see the aftermath, and Sirius knew, better than anyone, that the man was more than likely terrified of him and not simply uncomfortable with him. The reason for why, Sirius told himself, was simple – he had witnessed him laughing when he had been taken away, not realising what was going to happen to him while the adrenaline had still controlled him and, for half a second, he could convince himself that Peter had died too. Having to come to terms with the fact he knew and had witnessed Peter transform into his animagus form and get away had been, in his book, the worst punishment of all. Peter had gotten away, and, so, he had sought him out and because of it been left to take the blame for something he had not done but Peter had.

It was maddening and, yet, the irony in it was almost enough to make him laugh.

Was there something deeply wrong with him, he questioned? Maybe, came his mind's reply.

Was that keeping him alive, he further queried? Yes, came his mind's reply.

A little sick to his stomach, he remembered that the rest of the United Kingdom's wizarding community (and, he imagined, the American and EU's as well) was firmly against him and wanted him back in prison.

Knowing Lily had not openly pressed and pushed back against it made knowing such all the more painful.

Almost too painful to bear.

What he knew, also, was that the assumption within the leaders in the Ministry was that he had escaped to find Harry and that it was true. But it was not to kidnap him as the articles implied them to believe.

He simply wanted to be a part of his godson's life as much as his husband and Lily were.

"I should have known you and James would have a feisty baby," Sirius had joked, watching the eight month old baby reach for the snitch his parents were letting fly around the room. "How are you feeling? James said you haven't had a lot of sleep."

"Not in the last week," Lily had said, shaking her head. "I was up most nights because he had a cold."

"Well, he seems rather content with himself now. Hopefully that means he and you will get more sleep this week," Remus had said, laughing when the baby almost grasped onto one of the wings of the snitch. "Do you think he's going to be a seeker?"

"I'm certain of it," James had smirked, stepping back into the room and sitting down beside his wife, pressing an affectionate kiss to her cheek. "He's already taking an interest in quidditch, after all. I'm sure he's going to find a way to become seeker during his first year, rules be damned!"

Things had been so right, for just a moment, then.

And, then, they weren't.

It was all wrong, and it had been for the past twelve years.

There were too few times in that time where he had been around other people, and, even in those moments, he had not felt truly human. More than anything else, he wanted that feeling back. Being able to be exonerated would allow that. Being able to be a part of his husband, godson, and close friend's lives would allow that. Hearing the sounds of footsteps nearing, he ran behind a few trees, the sensation a startling and unwelcome reminder that he was still in his canine form. A form he knew he could not leave. A few lights began to shine in the darkness and among the trees, and it took him a moment to register that the lights shining were coming from flashlights. Terrified of them being from police, the sight of them being from only a few teenagers in the distance brought only a hint of relief. Still not wanting to be seen, a longing for even a little bit of human interaction drove him to move as close as he could without being seen. When he could see and hear them but was still sure he couldn't be seen or heard by them, he realised they were laughing, possibly even sneaking out. A pang of jealousy grasped onto him, but, still, he began to follow them as best he could.

"…Didn't you hear the stories about what happened here during the war?" One of the boys said to the others with a conspiratorial edge to his voice. "…My mum says that's why she thinks it could be haunted."

"…Your mum is superstitious," One of the other boys said. "…She believes in everything from ghosts to magic and curses. Hauntings aren't real."

"…You don't know that," Another boy said before starting to laugh. "…But the stories about some things that've happened here are creepy. For starters, people still don't know who put Bella down the wych elm in Hagley Wood."

Their voices began to sound farther and farther away. Trepedatiously, Sirius kept following them to listen in on their conversation.

"…With all the stuff on the news, dad will be really cross with me if he finds out we went out."

"…We're just looking for a good spot to hang out in without being caught smoking later. Pretty sure he'd be more cross with you if he found out that were the reason why we snuck out."

They all started laughing. Sirius paused and sat down, tiredness suddenly catching up to him. He watched as their voices and the lights from their flashlights grew farther away before disappearing completely. Hagley Wood. The realisation startled him. I've made it all the way to Hagley Wood without being caught? The brief feeling of relief the realisation carried with it dissipated shortly thereafter. He had made from the prison to Hagley Wood, but only because he was not in his natural, human form.

If he were to change himself back to his human self, it wouldn't be long before he were caught and ended up where he had started again.

Unless you find a way to make yourself look like someone else.