MEMO
From the desk of Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps

TO: Levi, Squad Leader (First Row, Squad 7)

FROM: Commander Erwin Smith

DATE: May 5th, 845

SUBJECT: Your last incident report

I should begin by thanking you for the promptness of your report, particularly since I can recall a not-so-distant time when you would submit all of your incident reports two weeks late (if ever). What's more, these reports often contained nothing more than the scrawled admission that "another kid got eaten," along with a shorthand demand that I "stop assigning you to squads full of children."

I understand your struggles with following the standard formatting, although you probably do not need to hide your letters from Mike. While it is true that the upper administration would generally frown upon you writing to me in your accustomed manner, you can always disguise your personal communication as something more official. For example, I am only writing in the form of a memo right now because I am sitting at a conference table in a rather upscale restaurant in Mitras, waiting for a potential donor who could walk in at any moment. When he makes his appearance, I should like him to believe that I am doing important business rather than writing a personal letter to my perpetually disgruntled pen pal—so if it makes you feel any better, the burden of keeping up appearances is a cross that even the "High and Mighty Commander" must bear.

In short, if you are so concerned about Mike's opinion of you, then you may disguise your letters as memos. That is what the rest of us do.

You are correct in assuming that I would like to know more details about the fight you reported, although I confess that I have my suspicions about what caused it. Your last five incident reports have all been of a similar caliber, and in each instance, you started an altercation with various members of your squad in response to offhand remarks about the quality of my performance as commander. If I remember correctly, the comments ranged from Rushton complaining about the lack of recent expeditions to Martell claiming that my head was "so far up my ass" that I wouldn't notice a Titan until I was halfway down its throat.

It may be presumptuous of me to assume that you started this particular fight for a similar reason. If so, then please forgive me. But in case I am correct—you really don't need to defend my honor, Levi. I am well aware that popular opinion concerning my command is not high at the moment. Under the circumstances, the soldiers' concerns are even understandable. However, if the council decides to see reason sometime in the next few days, then I am confident that my popularity will soon see a resurgence…with or without your zealous (and quite violent) defense.

(Even so, please know that I am genuinely grateful for your support. Knowing that at least one person has my back is more comforting than I care to admit.)

However, you really cannot keep trying to solve interpersonal conflict with violence. The next time that one of your subordinates displeases you, try pulling them aside and asking open-ended questions. Show that you are listening by summarizing and repeating their concerns back to them. When you respond, make your best effort to use non-threatening "I" statements. In any case of real insubordination, follow standard protocol by submitting a report to the next highest-ranking officer (in your case, Mike). You may dislike this process, but there is a time to follow the rules and there is a time to break them. This, especially given our precarious situation with the council, is a time to follow them.

This goes without saying, but as always, your resignation as squad leader is denied. You will remain exactly where I assigned you. The transition to leadership can be painful, but I'm afraid that you will have to soldier on. The growing pains will settle soon. I have faith in you.

Upon learning of your recent misadventures with Hange, I admit to being a little alarmed. Please remember that Hange is like a powder keg. If you light her fuse with some kind of match (such as, for instance, candy and science), she will explode and take your head off. You must approach her slowly, hands raised and palms open. To calm her down, offer her a handful of raisins (which, for some inexplicable reason, she seems to like). Then, and only then, should you attempt to negotiate with her.

However, you should also keep in mind that you and Hange are both terrifying agents of chaos. Even separately, each of you has caused me more than enough trouble for a lifetime. Please, I beg of you, do not join forces too often, or even I may not be able to contain the damage.

That being said, I will send a short note to Mike alongside this memo. Your description of Hange's new training Titans does sound superior to the old models, which were admittedly getting a bit worn down. I will leave it to him to find a way to restructure the training drills safely. However effective Hange's training Titans may be, we cannot afford to have any more human bodies ripped to pieces. There was quite enough of that under Commander Shadis' watch.

Naturally, I wish I could obey your demands to come back home. Alas, the council remains intransigent. If these negotiations go on much longer, however, I may be desperate enough to ask you to come to me. Perhaps the Royal Palace could use some of your particular brand of problem-solving.

I will generally ignore the topic of your personal squabbles with Mike, since you are an adult and can manage your playground disputes on your own. I will only point out (a bit wearily, I confess) that I don't know why you're insisting that that cloak wasn't mine. You know perfectly well that I left my cloak with you the night you fell asleep in my office. It isn't a secret. You even washed it and returned it to me the next day. I don't know why you

No. I will leave it at that. To tell you the truth, I am too tired these days to argue with your perennial insistence that we are not friends. Very well. You may have it your way. We are not friends.

On another note, I presume that our unfinished chess game is still laid out on my desk from the morning I left. Make sure that Mike does not put it away. I am looking forward to winning my thirty-first consecutive game.

Best,
Erwin Smith

P.S. As you are well aware, I am quite fond of you. However, if you touch my filing cabinet, no one will ever find your body.