TRAINING REPORT – SURVEY CORPS

Date: May 9, 845

Submitted by: Mike Zacharias

Duty of Submitter (check one):

x Section Commander

Senior Team Leader

Squad Leader

Incidents (if applicable; requires additional report):

Accident

Injury

x Other (please specify): _ Altercation_

Training Format:

Formation Drill

x Attack Drill (Team)

Attack Drill (Solo)

Simulated Expedition

Other (please specify): _

SUMMARY:

All squads participated in team attack drills. General objective was to sharpen in-squad unity, both of formation and of attack execution. Drill was generally successful in achieving objective; 38 out of 39 squads demonstrated clear progress in cohesion and teamwork. Anomalies included an altercation that occurred in Squad 7 (First Row).

DETAILED REPORT:

FIRSTLY, all squads assembled outside the Training Forest at half past seven. Instructions were issued to each squad. Instructions are copied below:

· Individually, each squad rides into the forest.

· At an undisclosed point, a random number of Training Titans appear out of the trees.

· Led by Squad Leader, squad works together to take down the Training Titans as quickly as possible.

· Section Commanders record time, provide feedback on the speed and cohesion of the maneuver.

· Squad repeats maneuver; Section Commanders record progress notes.

SECONDLY, each squad fulfilled all requirements of the training drill. Only one squad had a significantly worse outcome on the second round (details in fourth section).

THIRDLY, detailed progress notes have been filed for future reference. Notable achievements included Squad 5 (Second Row), which improved its initial time by 43 seconds; Squad 3 (Fourth Row), which decreased from two casualties to zero on the second round; and Squad 2 (First Row), which demonstrated clear growth in clarity of communication between squad members.

FOURTHLY, Squad 7 (First Row) were second-to-last to participate in the training drill. On their first attempt, Squad 7 encountered the maximum amount of Training Titans (six). They succeeded within 32 seconds. Out of the six Titans, Squad Leader Levi eliminated five. The remaining six members of his squad worked together to dispose of the one remaining Titan (apparently without any instructions from their squad leader). Afterward, one of the Squad 7 soldiers (Borg Wall) complained to one of his teammates about how Squad Leader Levi "barely ever lets them do anything."

FIFTHLY, Squad Leader Levi approached Wall, pulled him several feet away from the rest of his squad, and said, "I don't like what I think I just heard. Would you mind saying it again?" When Wall repeated his original complaint, Squad Leader Levi asked Wall whether he wanted to be stuffed headfirst down the toilet; before Wall could answer, Squad Leader Levi said something along the lines of "shit, that's not an open-ended question." When Wall attempted to respond, Squad Leader Levi interrupted by saying, "Here's what your concerns sound like to me. You're a whiny little brat and you think a fuckhead like you can take on a Titan. Is that right?" When Wall (appearing confused) responded in the affirmative, Squad Leader Levi stated, "Well, I think that you're an incompetent little brat who needs to learn a lesson." (It should be noted that in this statement, Squad Leader Levi put strong emphasis on the "I.") It is unclear who threw the first punch after that. The situation escalated quickly. Within seconds, the entire squad had joined the fight.

SIXTHLY, Section Commanders stepped in to resolve the altercation. Squad Leader Levi was separated from the rest of his squad and instructed to give his squad clear directions before beginning their next attempt, as well as to conduct a maneuver in which his squad members had a chance to combat at least half of the Titans. When told that threatening his squad was also inappropriate, Squad Leader Levi argued that he had "used an 'I' statement," which he insisted was "supposed to be non-threatening." Section Commander Zacharias (submitter) subsequently sent his squad back to the starting line.

LASTLY, Squad 7 (FR) attempted their second round. Exhausted and injured from the fight, squad members Baker, Burns, Foster, Lambert, Weber, and Wall were all tapped by the Training Titans. In a real Titan encounter, only Squad Leader Levi would have survived. More detailed incident report to follow.

Respectfully Signed and Submitted this 9th Day of May,

_Mike Zacharias_

NOTE: Hange's been writing furiously next to me this whole time. She just told me that it's an addendum to the report, and she says she'll throw a tantrum if I don't attach it. So here's Hange's addendum, I guess. -Mike

ADDENDUM

HELLOOOOOOOOOO ERWIN! I hope Mitras has been lots of fun! Levi says the council is still being a load of dumbasses, so I'm sorry about that! I'm sure they'll come around soon, and then you can come home! We all really want you back. Well, some of the soldiers are kind of mad at you right now, but at least Mike and I are excited for you to be back on base—and I know Levi misses you too, even if he likes to stalk around and scowl and call you names. Everybody knows you're secretly his favorite person. Why else would he follow you around headquarters like a puppy dog all the time?

ANYWAY, I know Mike wrote this big long report and I don't want to contradict him or get in his way or anything, but I did want to throw in my two cents and say that I don't think you should get my bestie in trouble! Levi's just got a lot of old habits and trauma that he needs to work through. Sure, okay, he doesn't seem very enthusiastic about getting better. (Seriously, every time I try to coax him onto my therapy couch in the basement, he throws a fit. I've had three black eyes in the last month!) But I really think my little rage muffin is trying, and I'm sure he'll open up one of these days—if not to me, then definitely to you, which will make me really jealous, but I'm pretty sure I can forgive you as long as it solves Levi's whole "can't get through a single training exercise without starting a fight" problem.

I know you pretty much never punish Levi for anything no matter how bad it is, but just in case, I wanted to chime in! Don't worry about us—we're doing super over here! Have a great day!

Love 3,
Hange

NOTE: I was just about to seal the envelope when Levi threw a scrap of paper at me. I'm sick of fighting with him, so I'm attaching his addendum too. -Mike

ADDENDUM (2)

I was reading over Hange's shoulder. She's full of shit. I'm not her bestie, we are not doing super over here, and I do not follow you around like a puppy dog.

Also, you should know that you're a big dumb idiot. Your stupid method didn't work at all. Next time I'm going straight for the throat.

-Levi

P.S. You'd better hurry home. I'm already halfway done with your filing cabinet.