Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I kinda got stuck for ideas with a few of my stories, including this one.

Chapter 5

When Dipper and Pacifica left the house two hours later, Madison and Mabel were snuggled together on the couch watching a movie. The walked the six blocks to Lynn's Table, where Lincoln was already waiting for them at one of the outdoor tables.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it," Lincoln greeted. "We'll discuss what I need to tell you over food, my treat." Soon, a pretty waitress with braided dirty-blond hair walked up to their table. "Dipper, Pacifica, this is my girlfriend Jordan. Jordan, these are my new neighbors," Lincoln introduced them. Jordan took their orders with a warm smile and brought out their food less than ten minutes later.

"Who were those creeps? And what did they want with our daughter?" Dipper asked. Lincoln sighed.

"Their names are Thomas and Theodore Tetherby, and they're the grandchildren of the local snobby rich guy, Lord Tobias Tetherby. They're both of the persuasion that natural blonds are superior to the rest of the human race. Because of that, they're trying to get every girl and young woman in town with blond hair, married or not, to join their harem as breeding stock. My family has it the worst, because five of my sisters have blond hair, and because I have beef with their grandfather. It was Lily they were after today. Maddie was just an unexpected bonus." Dipper and Pacifica were silent as they digested the information.

"We're not in any serious danger, are we?" Pacifica finally asked.

"Oh, no, they'll run for the hills once they get a good look at Dipper," Lincoln assured her. "If you and Maddie are home alone, though, stay inside and lock the doors. Unless, of course, you wanna hang out with me and the rest of the Loud clan. With the exception of Lily, my sisters can fend for themselves, and you'd always be welcome to drop by."

"Why are you being so nice to us if you hardly know us?" Pacifica asked, growing misty-eyed at Lincoln's kindness and generosity. Lincoln only smiled and shrugged.

"Hey, I'm just doing my neighborly duty," he replied. "You guys didn't know how things work around here, so I'm doing what I can to make sure you stay safe. If only I could really get back at those knuckleheads without legal repercussions."

...

A few days later, Pacifica and Madison decided to visit The Loud House while Dipper and Mabel were out grocery shopping and running other errands. The door was answered by the twins, Lana and Lola. Both were wearing denim shorts and T-shirts, but Lola's was pale pink and Lana's was army green. Lola wore a pink headband and long, loose hair, while Lana had shorter hair in a ponytail under her threadbare, backwards red cap. Both girls were equally built, but Lana was slightly more toned and muscular with numerous scars on her arms and legs, some of which looked like bite marks.

"Sorry, guys, Lincoln's not here," Lana replied when asked. "He's driving around, delivering finished products to his clients."

"You're in luck, though," continued Lola. "Lans and I were about to go for a long walk in the woods. Wanna tag along?"

"I dunno if we should," Pacifica said, looking at her daughter in concern. "Maddie gets tired easily, and I'm not really supposed to exert myself."

"Oh, that won't be a problem at all," assured Lana. "Just follow us, and you'll see why." The Loud twins closed and locked the front door behind them before walking around the side of the house to the back yard, followed by Pacifica and Madison. Behind the Louds' property, grass gave way to the trees after which the town was named. "Bruno! Here, boy!" Lana called, and the underbrush rustled.

Madison shrieked and hid behind her mother when a gigantic brown bear trundled out of the trees. Lola saw this and smiled reassuringly while crouching to the younger girl's level.

"Aww, don't be scared, Maddie," she said softly. "This is a friendly bear. He's not gonna eat us."

"Lola's right," Lana confirmed. "I found him abandoned as a cub and practically raised him. Ol' Bruno here wouldn't hurt a fly unless I told him to. Would you, buddy?" Bruno the bear let out a small groan in response. "See? Problem solved! Okay, buddy, these two wanna walk with us, but can't walk very far. Think you can carry 'em?"

Bruno gave another groan and laid down on his stomach. With the twins' help, Pacifica and Madison climbed onto his back. Bruno then got up and started lumbering down a well-used trail, the twins walking on either side of him. As they walked, Lana and Lola told Pacifica and Madison more about themselves.

They had vastly different preferences growing up, and as such, they were constantly at each other's throats. However, that changed shortly after their shared eighth birthday. That was the first time the Tetherby brothers attempted to kidnap them, and the twins had to settle their differences and work together to get away...

...

"Lana, I'm scared..." Lola whimpered in fear while clinging to her twin sister for dear life. They walked side-by-side as the young men walking behind them herded them toward Tetherby Manor.

"Don't worry, Lols. We'll get out of this somehow," Lana replied, trying to sound braver than she felt. Her brain was working overtime trying to come up with an escape plan, and Lana wished she had Lincoln's planning skills. She finally got an idea when the four of them stopped at a crowded crosswalk. She nudged Lola with her elbow and whispered, "Hey, Lola, remember when Lincoln showed us Home Alone 2?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Lola whispered back in confusion.

"Remember how Kevin got away from the Wet Bandits?" Lana asked, inclining her head toward the stunningly beautiful woman standing in front of them at the crosswalk. She had curly brown hair, a stylish black jacket over a short orange dress, and the widest hips either of them had ever seen. Lola immediately caught on to what Lana's plan was, and she snickered impishly.

With an impish grin of her own, Lana wordlessly counted down from three, then both girls reached forward and goosed the unassuming woman, who shrieked and whirled around in anger with a flustered blush on her face.

"They did it!" the twins announced in unison, pointing accusingly at the confused Tetherby brothers. The moment the woman started clobbering them with her purse, the Loud girls bolted back the way they'd come, to the gymnasium where one of Lola's beauty pageants had just concluded.

Once inside, Lana allowed Lola to use her as a human stepstool so that she could reach the payphone on the wall and call Luna (who, back then, was the oldest sibling still in the house). After that, they locked themselves inside Lola's dressing room to wait for Luna and Lincoln to pick them up.

...

"...that brush with danger made us realize how much we actually care about each other," Lola concluded the story. "Ever since then, we've been trying to get out of our comfort zones by trying things the other twin likes. That day was also when I decided to quit my pageant career."

By the time the twins finished the story, they had almost gone in a complete circle and were nearly back at The Loud House.

"Aww, that was a nice story. Reminds me of when Dipper and I first met," Pacifica stated with one hand over her heart. "Back then, I was...not a nice person. I was pretty much the stereotypical rich and popular mean girl, and Dipper hated me for how I treated Mabel. But then Weirdmageddon happened, and almost dying in a narrowly avoided apocalypse was the reality check I desperately needed. I had to move away from Gravity Falls because my dad lost our family fortune, but I never forgot Dipper and Mabel and the adventures we had together." Pacifica smiled fondly. "You can probably guess what happened after that: we reunited years later, him a beefcake but still a softy, and me working on a golf course in Los Angeles that happened to be haunted." Just then, everyone froze, even Bruno.

The Tetherby brothers were once more at The Loud House, this time trying to pick the lock on the back door. Neither man was aware of the group that just exited the woods behind them. Pacifica and Madison began to panic, but the twins only clicked their tongues in disappointment.

"They never learn, do they?" Lana asked.

"Nope," Lola replied.

"What do you think? Bird Feeder?" Lana suggested.

"Ooh, yeah! Let's give 'em the Bird Feeder!" Lola agreed excitedly. Opening the pink handbag hanging from her shoulder, Lola pulled out two bulging handfuls of birdseed and peanuts. With impish grins, the twins wordlessly counted down from three, then Lola hurled the bird food while Lana cupped her hands around her mouth and did a loud pigeon call.

The Tetherby brothers whirled around at the sound of Lana's bird call, only to be hit in the face with Lola's birdseed, the treats disappearing into their hair and the folds of their clothes. They stood stock-still for a moment, then the flapping of many, many wings was heard. The two men were immediately swarmed by a large flock of pigeons, and ran away screaming while Lana and Lola rolled around on the ground laughing hysterically.

When the twins finally calmed down, they helped Pacifica and Madison dismount from Bruno's back. Madison yelped when Bruno suddenly gave a groan and flopped onto his side.

"Did we kill him?" she asked fearfully.

"Nah, he's fine, he just wants some attention," Lana reassured her. "C'mere and help me rub his belly!"

Madison wasn't sure at first, given the fact that Bruno was a bear, but got more involved when she felt how incredibly soft Bruno's fur was. She even giggled when Bruno started kicking his hind leg like a dog.

For Pacifica, further bonding with the Loud family was looking like a better and better idea...