Stanley asked for help: Alex Heirsh

Sunday morning

Alex woke up the next day in his sleeping bag in the control room next to the portal. This was where he felt the most comfortable in the entire shack. He also looked at the control and saw if his time around Ford and Fiddleford had left him with enough technical know-how to make the portal work.

It didn't, but he could turn off the portal control's branding section. Why did Ford think that was a good idea in the first place?

Anyway, he went to the elevator and headed upstairs for breakfast. Once he exited the heavy-duty door in the wall and headed into the kitchen, he froze at the sight of the window.

He could see the columns outside, illuminated by the giant lamp in the sky. He began to panic as he recalled what he had seen the other day. The big, giant, huge-

The window was covered with some curtains as Stan pulled a cord from his seat at the table.

"Sorry about that, Alex. Here, I got some oatmeal for your breakfast. Why don't you try it while I close all the other windows so you don't have to see the outside."

Alex sighed in relief as he nodded. "Yes, please. Could you name everything again? I don't want a repeat of last night's plate incident."

Stanly chuckled at that. "Hay, you're not the first person to try and eat the plate as part of the sandwich."

Alex then sat down on the other side of the table as Stanley pointed at each thing there.

"This is a glass; it holds liquids for drinking, and we don't eat it. It currently holds apple juice, the juice from a plant that tastes good. This is a spoon, a utensil that we use to pick up liquid food to drink without having to worry about spilling it. It is also inedible. This is a bowl; it is used to hold more liquid foods and is inedible. This is oatmeal; it's a part of a plant mixed with boiling water to make it softer and easier to eat. This is a shaker; it holds powders that we like to taste so we can put controlled amounts on top of our food. This shaker has cinnamon, a powdered part of a plant that we think tastes good. If you want, you can sprinkle a little over your food and see how you like it. This is a napkin; it is used to wipe up spills and food that doesn't end up in your mouth. It is inedible. If you have any questions, call out and ask them. I promise you, there is nothing you can ask me that I would consider a 'dumb question.'"

Alex smiled at that before sitting down. Stanley then went over to the other windows in the kitchen to close them before leaving the room and heading to the rest of the house. While he was doing that, Alex was tasting oatmeal. He found that the taste wasn't that bad, though the cinnamon differently added something he had trouble explaining to it. The apple juice was sweeter than the water he had been drinking all his life but in a good way.

When Stanley returned, he had finished his bowl and cup.

"Thank you for a delicious meal. I like this better than beans. However, I would still like to try this 'ice cream' you mentioned earlier. When can we do that?"

Stan smiled. "I gave the Handwitch some money and asked her to buy you a variety of foods to try for dinner tonight with a list of suggestions. Ice Cream was at the top of the list."

Alex smiled at that. Stanley then sighed.

"Now, let's talk about what we can do to help you adjust to life outside the lab. I said some of these yesterday, but I'll repeat them if you forgot or weren't listening due to the trauma.

"The first thing you can do is hide and observe my tour groups. They come in groups of 20 at the max, but it's fewer at a time now that interest in the Shack is dying down. If it gets too much, you can fall back to the employee-only portion of the Shack. You can also try taking the tour as a person if you want to try being close to that many people, but no pressure.

"Handwitch called a little before you came up here. She contacted some construction workers who were willing to renovate your lab into a casino. She will give them a tour today and asked if you would join them. I don't know how many there are, but since it was your home, you would be the best person to lead tours if you are ok with returning there; again, there is no pressure.

"Finally, Hand Witch also mentioned that she would be willing to escort you into the Crawlspace tomorrow. It's a larger version of the cave you are used to but has many weird and wild creatures you wanted to see in the journal. Not only would you be able to walk around in your base form, but you could also meet up with others who hate Ford. There's this one gnome he kept in a cat carrier for weeks while he experimented on him that would love to talk with you about it. Handwitch can introduce you.

"Which would you like to do?"

Alex looked down at his eaten food and pondered.

"When would the construction workers show up vs the tour groups, and how would I get to the bunker?"

Stanley shrugged. "The tour groups will show up at ten and continue until 7. I think the construction workers will show up at the back door around lunchtime so they can ask me some questions and get official permission to enter the bunker."

Alex then nodded. "How about I observe the tours as a mouse until the construction workers arrive? Depending on how things go with them, I might decide to leave with them to the bunker."

Stan smiled at him. "Sounds great. Now, I've got room to finish organizing!"

He then stood up and headed into another part of the Shack. Alex finished his breakfast before standing up and following the sounds of grunts, scrapes, and curses until he found Stan in a room filled with junk.

"What are you doing?"

Stanley looked up from the stone, eye-sprayed gold he was holding to Alex before turning back to the table he was placing it on. In front of it was a folded piece of paper that said, "The eye of the Gilded Man of El Dorado."

"I'm setting up this room to be part of the tour. The plan is to do one tour of the original room for 10 minutes, take a 5-minute break, do a 10-minute tour of this room, take a five-minute break, then repeat that for the entire day."

He then looked like he realized something after he placed the eye on the table and turned to Alex.

"Just to let you know, I'm making up all the stories about these things to entertain people. It is for fun and profit, but I don't want you mixing up what is real and fantasy. That line can get blurry, especially around here, but it never ends well if you can't tell the difference."

Alex nodded. "Ok, do you need some help setting everything up?"

Stan nodded and pointed to a stone Aztec calendar lying flat on the floor.

"Can you set that on its side next to the sign that says 'Aztec Calander?' Be aware that it's heavy; we can try moving it together if you can't."

Alex nodded before shifting into a giant spider and walking over to it. He then grew some arms on his stomach to grab and lift the calendar.

"Wow, that is terrifying." Stan then began to smile. "Remind me to make a dummy of that for the tour. Maybe we can set up a third room just for replicas of creepy things like that." He then shot Alex a look. "With you getting a cut- sorry, getting a portion of the money people pay to see that room."

Alex laid the calendar gently beside the sign and returned to his base form. "Would that mean you would do three 10-minute tours?"

Stan shrugged. "It's just an idea. I'll hash out the details later. Let's see if we can set up this room before ten and start this new procedure today!"

10 PM

Alex had decided to take the form of a cat and hide in the museum room as Stan gave his tour. Stan said that cats sitting and watching humans before deciding to run off and hide utterly normal behavior that no one would worry about.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack! Come on in, and don't worry about spreading out a little. We only have 15 people in the group today, so feel free to have some elbow room."

Stanley walked in, leading a massive group of people. More than he had ever seen in his life!

Stan then twirled his femur cane and pointed to a small box with a pair of antennae on it in a cage with a raw chicken leg dangling next to it.

"This little beauty is what I like to call 'the flash cooker!" Observe."

He then put his cane to the side and picked up a small chopstick lying on the side of the box before using it to push the button on it. The small box began to hum, and arches of electricity rose between the device's antenna.

ZAP!

The electricity then jumped from the box to the chicken, engulfing it. The entire room was filled with the sounds of the chicken sizzling and the smells of cooking meat for about 30 seconds before Stan pushed the button again.

They then opened the cage holding the two objects and removed the chicken leg before holding it so everyone could see.

"Perfectly cooked in half a minute! Who wants to try it? $5 for the chicken leg cooked with electricity!"

Alex didn't know how money worked, but he wondered who would be dumb enough to try meat cooked using such a method.

"I would!"

"So would I!"

The entire crowd. After a brief bidding war, Stan sold the leg for $10 to a tall, muscular, bald man. He then took a bite.

"Humm? It's cooked all the way, but may I suggest trying some seasonings on the leg next time? I have a recipe my grandmother used to make that would be perfect for this."

Stanly nodded and pointed to a wooden box with a slit in the top next to it with the word "recipes" on it. "Just put a recipe you want me to try in there, and I'll see what's feasible to do with this. Heck, I'll be willing to let you be a taste tester for free with the donation of a recipe."

Stan then nodded to the rest of the group. "As soon as I can get a better set up for snacks, I'll sell things cooked with this baby there. I don't know when that will be, but it's coming soon."

Stan then moved on to the next item, a glowing rock that Alex saw. Stan hid a light inside the hollow center earlier, but the crowd ate up the story about 'falling from the sun and crashing into Earth to kill the dinosaurs long ago.'

Item after Item, Stan spun stories about, and when the time was up and he had his break, he then did the same thing with the other room.

All day until lunchtime, he did this, auctioning off cooked chicken legs that always sold for $10-15 despite him always starting with $5.

It was amazing to watch, with Alex content to stay in a corner and observe rather than get involved. No one has noticed him, mainly because he picked a fur color that lets him hide better in the shadowy corner of the room. However, some wondered if he should risk getting closer to the crowd.

On the last tour before lunch, he decided to risk it and slowly walked over to Stan. He then rubbed himself against his leg while purring.

"Oh, hello there, Alex. How are you doing, little fellow?"

"Aww, he's adorable!"

"Can we pet him?"

"Can we give him treats?"

Alex felt a little nervous with all the attention, but since everyone was keeping their distance, he could ignore that feeling.

"Thank you everyone. I found this little one wandering the woods all alone Saturday night. I put out some food, and he moved into The Shack. If you want to try and pet him, SLOWLY lower your hand to him and be prepared to pull it back if he lets you know he doesn't want you to. As for treats, I'll get one of those gumball machines and fill it with treats for you to use later."

After that speech, lots of people slowly lowered their hands to be at his level, but Alex was perfectly content to stay and rub Stan for a few minutes as he continued his tour.

When it was over, they went to the kitchen and used the flash cooker to make chicken.

"That was entertaining to watch. Were you telling the truth about the treats for sale?"

Stan cringed at that. "Sorry, I was letting my love of money talk and forgot for a second that you weren't a normal cat. I can tell them it just wasn't economical."

Alex then gave him a comforting smile. "How about we buy a small thing of cat treats and food so I can see how they taste first? You said you would get me a lot of food to try, so why not let me see how that tastes?"

"Because it seems like it's insulting? People eat people's food, pets eat pet food, and you're not a pet."

Alex rolled his eyes by shifting into Stan's form to make it more obvious he was doing it before regaining his base form.

"Stan, I'm not human. I am a shapeshifter that can take the form of any living creature and eat anything they can eat. I appreciate you trying not to do what Ford did, but you must remember that I have my needs to be considered. Ok?"

Stan sighed. "Ok, I'll get a thing of cat treats and food. Though I'll have to warn you, the portions are based on cats, and I have no idea how much you would need to eat to be full."

"Got it!"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Stan turned to the back door near the kitchen.

"Sounds like the construction workers just showed up."

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Sorry for not posting last week, I was participating in Wendip Week 2024. Check out my entries in the links at the bottom.

I have decided to cap this series at 29 chapters, that way it will end with the year. I am not 100% happy with the in universe pasing and how I have been jumping from one idea to the next with no break, so when I do this again, I plan on setting up a timeline and outline from the start before writing my first chapter.

I have them all written up, and the final chapter is over 6k words.

I have a if you want to support me and my New Year's resolution of posting one fanfic of 2k words or more weekly. This is also being posted on , AO3, and Tumbler.

Remove all the spaces from the URLs to get them to work.

: : / / w w w . user?u=10132890

. c o m : : / / w w w . s/14051718/1/luz–appreciation–week–2022–from–1228248

AO3: : / / works/52823413/chapters/133608991

Tumbler: : / / w w w . blog/brianedner

I am also doing fanfic info dumps, like wiki articles that go one episode at a time, with some compilations at the end on specific topics sorted by episode.

Fanfic info dumps here: : / / w w w . 1228248/gallery