Wow, two chapters in one day, it's almost like I'm feeling guilty or something.
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Chapter Five
Bella
Two sharp knocks sounded harsh on the door of my motel room. I peaked through the blinds, guessing it wouldn't be friendly visitor and I was right. Edward stood just outside, looking dangerous in leathers with a cigarette in his hand.
Dangerous and hot.
My hair was still wrapped in a towel from my shower, I quickly took it off and shook my damp hair, running my fingers through it in attempt to look half decent.
Not that I cared what he thought of my appearance.
I lowered my satin camo an inch. Jess would be proud.
I had time all day to ponder my disastrous morning and decided I would absolutely not let these assholes intimidate me. My mother might have called me sensitive, but I wouldn't let them think it too.
I opened the door with enough force to match his aggressive knocking.
"Can I help you?" I said bitingly. He looked just as annoyed as he did this morning.
His eyes widened as he took me in, lingering a little too long on my strawberry clad pyjama pants. Somehow, he looked even more annoyed as he rolled his eyes and met my stare, as if the very idea of strawberries offended him.
He pushed past me into my small room. "Hey, what the hell are you doing?" I called after him, standing uselessly with the door still wide open.
"Shut the door before old Hugh see's you lookin' like that." He demanded, referring to the old man who had taken over from Jacob, I assumed.
"I'm pretty sure old Hugh can't see further than his fingers." I replied, slamming the door. "What do you want? And at midnight?"
He didn't answer as he observed the room. The bedside lamps were turned on, casting the room in an orange glow, the TV was silently showing a gruesome scene from an old crime scene procedural rerun. The bed was made but covered in various toiletries, skin creams, clothes and... shit, my underwear. I tried not to focus on them as my whole chest flared red.
"You gotta go." He said abruptly.
"What do you mean?" I couldn't stop the slight tremor in my voice. I knew what he meant. He had talked to Charlie, and it wasn't good. He rubbed his neck, bringing his hand up to tug at his hair.
"He doesn't want to meet you. Get over it and move on, you're wasting your time."
I stepped back, the information hitting me like a slap. It's what I had always been afraid of. He didn't want to meet me, he didn't want to know me, he didn't care about me at all. All my life I had wondered who my father could be, what it would be like to meet him. I imagined all the things I would tell him about my life and all the things he could still be part of, if I could just find him, if my mother would just tell me. But always in the back of my mind I wondered if she had shielded me from him because she knew he wouldn't care and was trying to protect me from it.
"Fine." I said, holding myself tight, trying to hold in the tears. I would not let this dickhead see me cry. "Point taken. You can leave now." I hated the wobble in my voice. Hated that I could never hide an ounce of emotion from my voice.
I walked around him and held open the door, refusing to look him in the eye or give him any more reason to mock me. But he didn't leave. I heard him heave a sigh and drop down onto the edge of the bed. He lifted one leg to grab at something he had sat on and pulled out a satin pair of underwear, clean, thank God. He smirked at me as I slammed the door storming towards him, snatching the offending underwear and throwing them towards my suitcase. I didn't see were they landed.
"Charlies a good guy, but there are things you don't understand. Your mom… well let's just say if certain people knew her daughter was running around this town. The daughter she secretly had with Charlie Swan…" He whistled, as if to say , yeah shit would hit the fan, and I suddenly understood what he wasn't say.
"So, it has nothing to do with me?" I asked. I couldn't keep the hope from my voice, internally berating myself for giving too much away to this stranger making himself at home on my bed.
"It has everything to do with you. This town is too dangerous for you. So you gotta go." He gave no room for argument. I could see why someone… someone else, wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him, but I never cared much for being told what to do by arrogant men.
I rolled my eyes, flicked my hair and turned back to open the door, dismissing him entirely.
"Thanks for the tip, but I don't need you or anyone else protecting me."
"You're not gonna leave, are you?" He got up and moved towards me slowly, like a predator waiting for the right time to leap.
"No. And if Charlie wants me gone, tell him to stop being a coward and tell me himself." I replied.
I barely waited for him to step over the threshold before I slammed the door.
…..
The next morning, — after a long night of pacing back and forth in my small room, just waiting for another knock at the door, — I decided to head into town, along the strip mall that I had passed through yesterday, I figured if I walked the two miles to get there instead of driving, I could get by unnoticed.
I wasn't going to let what Edward said last night deter me from getting a face to face with Charlie. There must have been other people in this town who knew him and would be willing to help me, people who didn't reside at a bar all afternoon on a weekday.
It was a warm morning; the sun was shining, and the air was fresh.
Forks was green.
Everywhere I walked I was overlooked by the tallest, deepest green firs and spruce trees, making everything feel enclosed and small beneath. So different from the grey concrete I was used to.
The stores came into view, they faced towards each other in small square with parking just off the main road. I walked across the street and spotted more business beginning to open further up the side street, coffee shops, restaurants, a small law firm. I peeked across the street and to my relief, Maxine's was closed. I guess it was too early even for bikers to be drinking.
The bookstore was called Dolly's Books. The door was open so I walked in, I could see the namesake immediately, she was wearing a name tag declaring her to be "Dolly" and a big red smile. Her hair in a perfect grey bouffant, tied with a bandanna. She was looking intently at a computer on the front desk, boxes and wires spread out over counter and floor, unaware of my presence. The shop was larger than it looked, the bookshelves going further into the back under a balcony. The stair up to the next floor had a red rope at the bottom and a sign saying, 'Smut lovers only'. I laughed as I read it, causing Dolly to jump.
"Oh dear! I didn't see you there." She held her chest, breathing heavily. "Can I help you find anything?"
"Well actually-"I was cut off by the sound of a motorbike revving its engine outside the tattoo shop, I recognised one of the men from yesterday. Shoulder length blonder hair and a mean scar on his face. Getting off the back of his bike was a tiny slip of a girl with jet black hair. She kissed his cheek before going into the tattoo parlour. He backed his bike up and I quickly moved away from the front window.
"Scared of The Devils, are ya?" Dolly laughed, "They're harmless."
I must have looked as disbelieving as I felt because she laughed again.
"No." I said. The computer made a sudden beeping noise, and she jumped, "Scared of computers?"
"Actually yes." She said, "I've been trying to update the shop, I heard of this thing called The Amazon, you heard of it?"
I nodded, holding in another laugh. "I can help you, if you like?"
"Oh, sweety yes please. Here." She dropped a DVD manual in my hands.
As I worked on setting up 'The Amazon' she unboxed some new titles and we talked. Fifteen years ago, after her husband died, she had moved to Forks, opened the shop and never left. She had also never updated a single thing. I had the impression she was a bit airy, she reminded me of an older version of my mom.
"So, what was it you actually needed sweety?" She asked.
I paused, suddenly nervous. "Do you know a Charlie Swan?" I asked, not looking up from my task.
"Sure, everyone knows Charlie. He's well liked around these parts."
"Do you know where he lives?" I asked.
"Yeah, up by the river off the 101." She said. "Why? You know he's married, not looking for no sweetbutt- "
"Eww, gross no." I stopped her. "We're kind of… family."
She looked suspicious, but as I showed her how to work on the computer, she seemed to forget our conversation entirely.
"You know, if you're looking for more help upgrading, I can stop by again. I'll be in town for a while longer." I said.
"Sure sweety. Bring coffee next time."
…..
My stomach was doing flips as I drove up the 101. I didn't really know where I was going, but I was hoping some sign would guide me to the right place. Like a massive shiny bike or mailbox that said 'Swan residence'.
Maybe I was being too optimistic.
My hands trembled on the steering wheel; I had never felt this nervous in my life. It was like the morning of every job interview and first date I'd ever had combined. What if Edward was right, what if he really didn't want to see me?
At least I'd know. Maybe then I'd be able to get on with my life, however depressing that life might be.
I passed over a bridge and took the next exit, seeing in the near distance some big cabins along the riverbank. The road wound around the curves of the river. It was very quiet, very suburban. I'm not sure what I expected but this was a peaceful and friendly neighbourhood.
Just as I was nearing the bottom of the dead-end street, my sign appeared.
Jacob.
Hopping into a red truck with an older man in the passenger seat, he backed out of the last driveway on the street as Charlie Swan stood on the porch, waving them off.
I took three long deep breaths, keeping the car crawling along until I stopped on the curb outside the house. By this point my hand had gone completely numb, my shoulders felt heavy, and I started to see spots in my vision. My eyes, however, were glued open to the man now looking down at me.
I got out of the car, the creaking hinges on the door sounded deafening in the silence. A mantra played in my mind.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
He looked resigned as I made my way up the driveway and stopped in front of him.
"What's your name?" He asked.
"Bella, Isabella." I said.
"Bella. I like it." He smiled then, "Come on in Bells."
…..
"I always knew there was something else." He said. We were sitting in the living room, him on a recliner and me on the well-worn blue sofa. The place was very masculine, all dark woods and blue furniture, but you could see the touches of a women everywhere too,— flowers on the table, a floral throw over the top of the couch, romances on the bookshelf.
"I'm not mad at her… you're mother." He continued. "Maybe I should be but… I probably would have told her to do the same damn thing…" He trailed off. "This was no place to raise a child."
"You raised Emmett here." I said.
"Yeah well, his family weren't raging psychopaths." He twisted his fingers around the top of the beer bottle he was holding.
"She told me." I started, "about her dad and brother. Why she had to leave."
"Good. So you know why you cant stick around kid." He said, kindly.
"Yeah, I got the message from your little errand boy, Edward." I snarked.
He laughed, "You don't just share your looks with your mother."
"I mean it." He continued. "You're getting back in that car and leaving this town. That don't mean we can't get to know one another, just not here."
"And if I stay?" I challenged. He just gave me a look, one that conveyed just how many people disagreed with him. None.
"Fine." I huffed, feeling like a disobedient teenager. Well, I wanted a dad. Now I had one.
I stayed a while longer. He told me about his wife, Sue. About Emmett and his girl Rose and their kids. He didn't mention Edward but had a look in his eyes when I did, like I might have the same type as Renee and wasn't happy about it.
We exchanged numbers, he hugged me awkwardly and suddenly I was back in the car, driving away with tears in my eyes and the promise that I'd leave that day.
…..
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