A\N: My first Bull Jason/Izzy story in 2024. This one doesn't have a Happily Ever After ending between them. This is a sad, dramatic one (two?) shot story. This will have swearing and mentions and memories of a miscarriage. I will be taking a hiatus from publishing new stories as I will be editing all my published stories. Even though I will not be publishing anything new until I've edited all my published stories, I'll still be writing new stuff, just not publishing it yet.

Enjoy, Angels.

Jason Bull, looks at the woman sitting at the conference table, trying to reign in his anger that is showing on his face. He feels Danny and Marissa putting their hands on his shoulders.

"Can you please repeat that?" He asks, his voice hard. The woman swallows, her eyes filling with tears.

"I want my daughter back, Dr Bull." The woman says. The Trial Consultant scoffs as he stands up abruptly, Danny and Marissa's hands drop from his shoulders. He takes a deep breath as an image of an ultrasound photo flashes to the forefront of his mind and the image of him holding a crying woman with dark hair in his arms, with two rings on her finger.

He lost a child before he had a chance to meet them. Now this woman, who left her newborn in a dark alley, wants her child back?! No way.

He walks to the door and puts his hand on the handle before he looks over his shoulder. "We're not going to help you get your daughter back, Miss Lowe, because quite frankly you don't deserve her back, not after what you did to her." He snaps before he leaves the conference room. He can hear Benny calling his name but he doesn't look back as he walks to the elevator. He can't be in the same building as that woman. He has to get out of here and he knows exactly where to go to calm down.

Benny Colon watches as his ex-brother-in-law walks away from the conference room. He follows his friend as he walks to the elevator. "Bull!" He calls, hoping that his friend and boss will listen and turn around, but he doesn't and carries on walking away. After the elevator doors have closed on his boss, the lawyer walks back to the conference room where Danny, Marissa, Cable and Chunk are waiting for him outside.

"He okay?" Chunk asks as he frowns. Benny shakes his head at his co-workers. They all know how Bull is around child-cases after he and his wife lost their baby who ultimately broke up their loving marriage. "No, he's not and this woman asking him to help get the first thing he lost has just put his defences up higher than his usual wall." Benny says to the four of them.

"So what can we do? Bull needs us." Cable speaks up. Benny nods as a sigh escapes his lips. "I know he needs it but he'll never talk to us about it," the lawyer trails off as an idea hits him. "but I know who he will talk to." With that, Benny pulls out of his phone and scrolls through his contacts until he comes across the one he needs. He presses the number and puts the phone to his ear, hearing it ring twice before a voice in his ear.

"Sis, we have a problem." He says.

Isabella Colon picks up her phone when she hears it ringing beside her. She puts her pen down and her eyebrows furrow when she sees her younger brother's name on her screen. She's not spoken to Benny properly since her and her ex-husband divorced so if he's calling her in the middle of the day, either him or Jason, her ex-husband, aren't okay. She accepts the call but her brother is speaking before she can greet him.

"Sis, we have a problem." Benny says.

"What's going on, Benny?" She asks, her brother's tone is full of concern.

"It's Bull." Benny tells her. Izzy closes her eyes as they drift toward the photo of the two of them she has on her desk, it's a photo of them locked in an embrace.

"Is he okay? What happened?" She questions her little brother as she opens her eyes. Benny sighs on his end of the phone.

"We had a woman come in asking for something. Bull refused and walked out of the meeting and to the elevator." Benny explains.

"What did the woman want and why did you call me?" She asks him. She doesn't know why her brother is calling her because her ex-husband walked out of a meeting.

"Izzy, the woman wanted her daughter back, Bull told her no before he stormed out."

Tears slip down her face. She knew how much her ex-husband was hurting just as much as she was when they lost their daughter but didn't show it to her because he was comforting her and making sure she was okay.

"I know where he is." And she does, Jason is at a place only where she and he know.

"Where is he?" Benny asks.

As much as she loves her brother, she's not going to disclose her ex-husbands location, she'll go get him herself and make sure he's really okay.

"Benny, no. If you go to him, he won't go with you." She tells her brother.

"But he'll go with you if you show up?" Her brother snaps at her.

"Yes! Benny, I know exactly what he's feeling because I went through those feelings too, hell I still feel them, I know my ex-husband a lot better than you when it comes to child related cases, So I will go out, find him, make sure he's okay and doesn't want to go out a rip that woman's head off before returning him back to the office." Izzy tells her brother before hanging up and standing up, grabbing her coat and purse before walking out of her office to her car.

She just hopes her ex-husband is where she thinks he is and not out doing something stupid.

Jason simply stares at the black stone. The anger he had been feeling at the woman in his office has disappeared and sadness and numbness is in its place. The headstone only has a name and a simple message written in grey writing:

Eliza Rose Bull:

Gone from the world but never from our hearts.

There are no dates on the headstone because his daughter never got a chance to take her first breath, smile her first smile, laugh her first laugh, walk her first step, say her first word, her first anything!

The sky is dark with rain clouds which matches his mood perfectly. No one knows about this maker but him and his daughter's mother, his ex-wife. They've never told anyone about this spot, not even their families. They weren't ashamed of their daughter, everyone knew about Eliza, Izzy was into the pregnancy when she lost Eliza. They suffered her loss together and they needed to grieve together.

Rain starts to fall from the sky in tiny droplets but he doesn't care, he simply allows the rain to fall on him. Footsteps, high heels to be exact, are behind him, walking up beside him. He doesn't need to look to see who's here: he knows who's here, only him and his ex-wife know about this marker.

Why is she here? Jason asks himself. He knows his ex-wife still comes here, he's passed her walking up and away from here several times as she has with him and sometimes they'll stay together holding hands silently, mourning their daughters death years after the fact together, before leaving without talking a word to each other.

Both of them are like that now: silent as rain pours on them, hands intertwined, Izzy's head on his wet bicep, looking at their daughter's grave.

"Izzy, what are you doing here?" He finally asks wearily, breaking the silence. Izzy doesn't look at him. "Benny called me after you stormed out of the meeting. He told me that the woman wanted help getting her daughter back." Izzy says. Jason nods, he should've known his ex-brother-in-law would've called her. She's the only one who knows what he feels when it involves children.

"That woman didn't want her baby, she left the newborn in an alley like a piece of garbage. Our daughter never got a chance to take her first breath before she was taken away from us! We would've given her everything she wanted, regardless of what it was!" Jason spits, his anger back full force. Izzy squeezes his hand. "I know, Jason, I know," she says softly. "but maybe that woman had a reason for wanting her daughter back?" Izzy asks softly, Jason turns his head to look at his ex-wife.

"Yes, she does, it's called narcissism. She found out that her daughter had a better life than she's had and now she wants her back to make that little girl miserable." Jason snarls angrily before breathing deeply. "She acted as if she didn't leave her daughter in a cold alley in the middle of winter but she did and if we took that case, we'd be acting like that too. And I can't do that, and I know the others can't either." Jason shakes his head as an image of that little baby in a snow drift with her lips blue floats into his head everyone had seen when they were researching the woman.

"I'm so sorry, Jason." Izzy whispers.

"I shouldn't have stormed out like that, it wasn't professional but I don't care, I couldn't sit there and listen to this woman who left her baby daughter alone in an alley. I couldn't listen to a woman defend her actions. I couldn't do it." Jason says brokenly as tears fall down his face. Suddenly Izzy is hugging him hard, her coat wet with the heavy rain. It only now occurs to him that he didn't stop by his office to get his coat before he left TAC.

"It doesn't matter if what you did was professional or not, if that woman left her daughter in an alley and hasn't tried to get her back before now, she doesn't deserve to be a mother. You did the right thing by saying no regardless of how you said it." Izzy says as he tightens his arms around her back. The only sound is the rain falling from the sky and landing on the streets and headstones around them.

Jason sighs softly as Izzy pulls away and resumes holding his hand in her own, both of them are quiet until she speaks. "What do you think would have happened to us if we hadn't divorced?" She asks him. Jason scoffs as his eyes roll. Why is she asking me this now? He asks himself.

"I don't know, we'd still probably ended up divorced but I like to think we worked through it." He answers honestly. He has had dreams where they somehow got through it and remained married. Izzy stares at him. "We tried to, Jason but I don't think we would've worked through it. We tried everything and none of it worked." Izzy says. Jason doesn't answer.

"Why didn't we try harder, Iz? Instead of giving up so easily?" He questions her. Izzy places her head back onto his bicep, taking her time to think about her answer.

"I don't know, Jason. I think we didn't know how to communicate properly after we lost Eliza. We were either not talking or screaming at each other and I couldn't handle being with you, knowing you blamed me for Eliza." She answers. Jason drops his jaw after the words leave his ex-wife's mouth.

He can't believe what she just said.

"Y...y ou think I blamed you?" He asks her as the rain continues to pour down on them. Izzy nods her head with a barely there nod.

"Of course I did!" Izzy shouts. Jason blinks, waiting for her to continue because he knows she's not done, not by a long shot. "Jason, I know you were hurting just like I was but you didn't show me you were hurting, you bottled it all up and worked through it. You held me when I was crying and I wanted to do the same thing to you but you didn't let me! All I wanted was to comfort my husband the way he comforted me, when he needed me the most, when we needed each other the most!" Jason shakes his head. "Izzy, you were grieving. I didn't want to pile onto it with my own grief." Izzy scoffs and rolls her eyes. "I was your wife, Jason! I wanted you to come to me with your grief." She snaps. Jason sighs again.

"I'm sorry." The Trial Consultant Analyst whispers. "I just wish you would have let me comfort you the way you comforted me." Izzy tells him. Jason pulls her into his arms again and simply allows her to hold him like he did to her years ago. He relaxes as her arms snake around his waist. He's missed being in her arms. She pulls away and he kisses her forehead.

"Jason." Izzy whispers as his lips linger.

"We could try again, Izzy." He says quietly, pulling away. Izzy gives him a small smile as she leans into him again. "We already tried, Jason. We can't try again, we're just too far gone to give it another shot." Jason shivers as a large gust of wind starts up.

"We've never just talked like this before." Izzy shakes her head as tears fill her eyes.

"Jason, stop. Please." She requests. He does stop. Jason looks away from her and at his daughter's grave, dropping the subject before he feels Izzy's hand on his arm, dragging him away.

"Come on, I'll take you back to TAC." She says as she leads him to her car. He doesn't try to protest her taking him back to TAC because she'll just ignore him and pretend she hasn't heard him and besides he wants to spend some more time with his ex-wife before they go back to living their own lives.

Izzy and Jason sit in silence as she drives to TAC, save for the heater blowing warm air in the car to warm them both up after standing the pouring down rain and the wind. She sneaks a look at her ex-husband out of the corner of her eye. He's not said a word to her since she told him to stop talking about giving them another shot. She would love to say yes and try again with him but the main reason she had filed for divorce was because they didn't communicate with each other and because he was a stubborn bastard who didn't care enough about himself to let himself grieve in front of her.

The TAC building is a block away and they've not spoken to each other. What does one say after their ex-husband has said he wants to try again?

"Jason, can we talk?" She asks. Jason is quiet for a few minutes but his voice fills the car. "What's there to talk about, Izzy?" His voice is hard. Izzy sighs. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell him to stop. "Jason, I wish we could try again, god I wish we could try again, but it's too late for us." She says regretfully.

"I know, I know it's too late for us, Izzy, I just needed to say it out loud." She pulls up outside TAC and smiles at him before grabbing his arm to stop him from getting out of the car. "Jason, wait," he takes his hand off the handle and looks at her, his eyes boring into hers, like they did all those years ago. "just because we're not together, doesn't mean that I no longer care about you. If you need to talk about a case, or our time together or just want to hear my voice, you can call me anytime, day or night." She says, She watches as Jason leans forward to plant a kiss on her cheek. "Take care of yourself, Izzy." Jason says as he gets out of the car and walks into the building without a look back at her.

Tears roll down her face as she realises she may not hear from Jason for a long time, and certainly not voluntarily.

"I love you, Jason." She says with a sob escaping her throat as she drives away from TAC and her ex-husband and back her lonely life at Bella.

A\N: This might be a two shot some point in the future but for right now, this'll be a sad oneshot. I hope you Angels enjoy this.