The hum of fluorescent lights and the faint smell of dust hang in the air of the file room. I'm alone, sifting through stacks of papers, trying to restore some semblance of order after the chaos. The Cadi is still in the midst of repairs, a reminder of the attack that left its mark not just on the building but on everyone who works here.
I'm bent over a pile of files when the door swings open and Kurt steps in. He looks around, his gaze scanning the cluttered room. I straighten, brushing off dust from my hands, and try to mask my irritation and fear.
"Hey," Kurt says, his voice carrying an undertone of weariness. He hates to be here as much as I hate him being here. "I need a file on someone I'm dealing with. Can you find it?"
I nod, though I don't look at him directly. "Sure, I'll find it for you. What's the name?"
He gives me the name and I start searching through the stacks. Kurt steps closer. The tension between us is palpable, and I can feel the heat of his own emotions radiating from him. I try to focus on the task at hand, avoiding his gaze.
"You doing okay?" he asks, his voice tentative but laced with a desperation that makes my heart clench.
I shrug, my tone clipped. "I'm fine. Just trying to get things back in order."
Kurt's eyes are fixed on me, his gaze intense and pleading. "I saw Calvin at your apartment a few weeks ago."
The mention of Calvin makes my heart race. I haven't seen him since, and every day that we're apart is another scratch to an open wound. I turn to face Kurt, my eyes narrowed. "You were spying on me?"
Kurt's face twists with guilt. "No, I came by to check on you. When I saw Calvin, I backed off. I didn't want to intrude. I'm sorry."
The air feels charged, my frustration bubbling over. "You don't need to check on me. Ever."
Kurt's shoulders sag as he takes a deep breath. His voice cracks with a raw, unfiltered pain. "What I did to you...I can never undo it. I can never ask for forgiveness for it. I know there's nothing I can do that would...take away that pain."
His words hit me like a hammer. The rawness in his voice is almost unbearable. I want to believe him, want to see the man standing before me as someone who has truly changed. But the scars on my back are a constant reminder of who he used to be. They're impossible to ignore.
I find the file and hand it to him leaving him no reason to stay and continue this conversation. As I extend my hand, our fingers brush, and I don't pull away. His eyes lock onto mine, and with a slow, deliberate movement, he takes my hand in his.
The contact sends a shiver through me, both electric and unsettling. He holds my hand gently, his grip warm and firm. I'm frozen, my breath catching in my throat. His touch stirs emotions I've been trying to keep buried, and I'm torn between pulling away and allowing myself to feel this closeness.
Kurt lifts my hand to his chest, and the heat of his body through the fabric of his shirt is both familiar and foreign. I can feel the steady thump of his heartbeat, a rhythm that used to be so comforting. But now, it's a reminder of everything that's gone wrong.
I want to stop him, to pull away, but my heart is betraying me. I miss him so much - more than I ever thought possible. His touch stirs a flood of emotions, and my defences begin to crumble.
A tear escapes from my eye and trails down my cheek. I try to blink it away, but another follows. Kurt's gaze softens as he sees my tear. With a tenderness that makes my chest ache, he pulls me into his arms, wrapping me in a hug. His embrace is strong, almost desperate, and I cling to him, my own sobs muffled against his chest.
"I love you, Kat," he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."
I hold onto him, my body shaking with the force of my sobs. The pain, the betrayal, and the longing all come crashing down. It feels like the world is right again for a brief moment, but as his words hang in the air, I know this isn't a resolution - it's just another step in a journey fraught with more questions than answers.
We stay like that, holding each other tightly, the weight of everything between us nearly unbearable. The silence is heavy, filled with the echoes of our shared past and the uncertainty of what comes next.