I don't know how long I slept after the big fit I threw but the next thing I knew, the lady with the nasal voice was shaking my shoulder, telling me to wake up.
I slowly opened my eyes, seeing I was still in the back of her car. Worse, I was still alone. I whimpered, tears filling my eyes again at the thought of being by myself.
"Come now, this nice family has been waiting to meet you" she said, gathering my stuff and helping me out of the car. She gripped my hand tightly in her bony hand, like she was worried I would bolt. My other hand held on to the picture Soda had given me, I was suddenly nervous she would try and take it from me so I slid it into my pocket.
We made our way to up to the front door of a big house. Maybe the house wasn't even that big but it was bigger than the home I was used to.
The nasally voiced lady rapped on the door with her free hand. Three sharp taps. We heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door and I suddenly felt very anxious. I started to squirm but the lady gave my arm a quick jerk and hissed at me to stay still.
The door opened and a nice looking couple opened the door. They looked younger than my parents. That was all the details I saw before I looked away from them, fixing my gaze on the floor.
"Ah hello Mrs. Dabney" said the man. His voice surprisingly deep.
"Hello. Sorry for the delay, we had a bit of scene at an earlier drop off" she told them, ushering me into their house. "This is Ponyboy, he's a little shy but I'm sure he'll be very well behaved for you" she gave my hand a hard squeeze and then let go, instead putting her hands on my shoulders and turning me to face them. I kept my gaze firmly set on the ground.
"Ponyboy, this is Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, they'll be looking after you for a while" she said in her nasal voice. I hated that voice. Everything she said in it was like another knife stabbing me in the chest.
"Hi there sweetie" said the young woman. She came up and tried to give me a hug but I stayed stiff as a board, not reciprocating the touch at all.
"Well I'll leave the three of you to get settled. Here's his stuff, and you have my number if anything comes up."
It sounds like the nasal voice lady, Mrs. Dabney apparently, is leaving. And as much as I dislike her, I don't want to be left with total strangers either. I look up at her, pleading with my eyes for her to take me back to my brothers.
She doesn't understand what I was trying to tell her though because she gives me a quick pat on the head, tells me to be good, and then sweeps out the door, shutting it softly behind her.
'She left me here' is all I can think. She left me here and I'm all alone. I want my mama and my dad and my brothers. I can feel myself getting worked up again but the man's deep voice startles me out of it.
"Let's take you to your room, get all your stuff put away and then we can have some dinner. How's that sound champ?"
I don't say anything. I just cross my arms and look at the ground.
"What do you want for dinner, sweetie?" the woman asks.
I crossed my arms tighter across my chest but I sneak a glance up at the woman.
"I want Darry and Soda" I said, my voice was quiet but defiant.
"No soda here champ. Too much sugar for a little guy like you" the man said, scoffing a little.
"I want my brothers" I say, a little louder this time.
"Mrs. Dabney didn't mention anything about brothers" Mrs. Thompson mutters to her husband. He just waves her off, grabbing my stuff and gesturing me with his head to follow him.
I don't. I stand with my arms crossed and my lower lip sticking out. I'd seen Soda stand like this many times when he was trying to get his way with mama. 'Stubborn as a mule' she'd say fondly.
"Come now sweetie" the lady says, putting a hand on my shoulder to try and lead me but I shrug it off. "We have some fun toys you might like to play with". I still don't move. I can't. I'm in a strangers house all alone and I don't know what to do. Tears well up in my eyes and start to run down my face, big fat ones that leave my face soaked in seconds. Sobs start wracking my body and my arms fall to my sides.
The woman scoops me up and rubs my head. I let her, it feels like how my mom used to comfort me when I cried.
"It's okay, it's okay" she soothes as she carries me to the bedroom her husband has put my stuff in.
I sob. Snot and tears run down my face and my throat and chest hurt from how hard I'm crying.
The woman sits on the bed with me in her lap, rocking us both. She rubs my head and says things in a soothing voice but I'm so worked up I don't know what words she's saying. The husband stands next to us beside the bed, taking in the scene and not saying anything.
I don't know how long I cry but it feels like hours. I'm exhausted after this outburst and feel my eyes start to close. I don't want to sleep in this house, it isn't my bed and I'm still all alone but the woman's soothing words and rocking motion end up sending me off to sleep.
A few weeks pass and I'm still living at the Thompson's house. I guess they are pretty nice but I still don't want to be here. Every morning I ask if I can go home and every morning they tell me that this is my home now. And then I usually don't say anything the rest of the day except to ask about my brothers. Mr. Thompson takes my silence as "attitude" and tells me I need to shape up. Mrs. Thompson tells him I still need time to "adjust".
Whenever I ask about my brothers, they tell me that they don't where they are or how they can get in contact with them. I ask them if we can drive around and look for them but they always say no.
I've taken to sitting by the window in the living room, the one that faces the street. I figure this will give me the best view to look for them. Darry and Soda promised to come get me, so I decide to keep watch out there until they do. The Thomsons try and sit with me and ask me questions about myself but I usually just ignore them so I can focus on staring out the window.
"Ponyboy" Mrs Thompson says one day, sitting on the couch in the living room while I perch in my chair by the window. "I bought a new book I think you'd like. Would you like me to read it to you?"
Nobody's read to me since my mama died. The books I brought from home are still in my backpack, with the picture from Soda tucked into one of them for safekeeping. Id thought about asking Mrs. Thompson to read them to me before bed, but I don't know if I can listen to the stories in anyone's voice except my Mama's. Maybe Darry, but he hasn't come to get me yet.
I turn my head away from the window and see shes holding up a book with a horse and a cowboy. Sodapop loves horses and cowboys. I nod, and slowly slide off of my chair to join her on the couch. I sit close to her, but not close enough to touch. Apart from my breakdown, I get nervous when either of the Thompsons try to touch me. She opens the book and starts to read, her voice is soft and the book is good. So good that I ask her to read it again. She smiled at me, and I gave her a small smile back and she reads the book again. As she reads the book a third time, I start to think that it might not be so bad staying here.
After three years I fall into a routine with the Thompsons. I start school, do my homework, play catch with Mr. Thompson on Saturdays. While they are stricter than my parents were, they are decent people and I eventually start to feel comfortable here. I still ask about my brothers, but not as often. The Thompsons say they have tried to at least get the phone number of the boys home they are staying at but they've never been able to. I still hold onto hope that my brothers will come for me, but for the time being, I'm content here with the Thompsons. Little did I know that everything was about to change.
One day, Mrs. Thompson made a big feast for dinner. She cooked all of Mr. Thompsons favorites, she even let me help mash the potatoes. When he came home, she was giddy with excitement and ran out to meet him in the driveway. She told him something and he let out an excited whoop, picking her up and spinning her in the air. When he put her down he planted a big kiss right on her lips. They came practically skipping into the house and we started dinner. They told me the news at the table, they were going to have a baby! I guess they had been trying for a long time, and that's actually why I ended up there, because they couldn't have a baby and wanted to adopt one. I was excited for them but I was also a little nervous about how this would affect me. They assured me nothing would change and that this was still my home.
I knew something was wrong when Mrs. Thompson came home from the doctors a few weeks later. She sent me to my room to play, which she'd never done, when Mr. Thompson got home. I heard them murmuring about something in the kitchen but they were talking too quietly for me to catch what they were saying.
Dinner was a quiet affair that night. They both looked tense and …guilty. The tension at the table made me anxious, but I was too nervous to ask what was going on.
I figured it out when Mrs. Dabney was sitting on the couch when I got home from school the next day, my suitcase on the floor next to her. I looked at Mrs. Thompson, betrayed. She was crying and looking anywhere except at me. Mr. Thompson came up and crouched in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.
"Listen champ, I've got some unfortunate new for you" he said. Like I hadn't figured out what was happening. They were having their own baby who they obviously loved more than me. Why would you keep someone else's baby when you had your own. I may be seven, but I'm not stupid.
"We were gonna keep you I swear, you and the baby. But we found out yesterday, it's twins. We're having twins. And there's no way we can take care of all three of you" Mr. Thompson continues "I'm sorry champ". I look at him, hoping he can feel the hate I'm sending him through my eyes. I turn my glare to Mrs. Thompson, and she cries harder. But she gets up and gives me a hug too, saying she loves me and pressing a kiss into my hair. I don't hug her back, the hurt is too strong. It's overpowering any love I might have felt for the Thompsons. Mr. Thompson gives me a pat on the back and looks up at Mrs. Dabney, who gives him a nod. He grabs up my stuff and loads it into the car.
Mrs. Dabney clears her throat, and then says in her awful voice "Time to go, we have a schedule to keep". This is the second time she has ripped me away from the people who made me feel safe. I hate her more than I've ever hated anyone.
Mrs. Thompson gives me one more hug and even though I feel so hurt and betrayed, I can't leave it like this. So I give her a small hug back and tell her a soft "Bye".
Me and Mrs. Dabney leave the house as Mr. Thompson is shutting the trunk. "Be good champ" he tells me one last time. I give him a tight smile and a nod and then climb into the back of the car. Mrs. Dabney gets in the front and the engine rumbles to life. She pulls the car away, not even slowing to let me look out the window to get one last glance of the Thompsons house.
"Do…do I get to go back to my brothers now?" I ask her, trying to find a silver lining in my newest heartbreak, hope swelling like a balloon in my chest.
"No, not for this placement. But I'll try and work on reconnecting the three of you". The balloon popped. She might as well have pulled my heart out of my chest and tossed it out the window.
Too tired to argue, I stare out the window and wonder what awaits me next.