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AvalonReeseFanFics

A/N: Hello my wonderful readers, how is your black Friday going? Anyone get any good sales? Okay, remember how I said Steve was going to hit rock bottom to help him appreciate Rowan more? Well he hasn't hit rock bottom yet. He's about to though. Please don't hate me for what's about to happen. I swear there's a reason, it may not be a good one in your eyes, but I swear there is a reason. And I promise that eventually it ends well, he gets adopted in season 7, like almost right away. I don't care if that's spoilers I just need you guys to know that there is a happy ending I promise. We just gotta get through all of this first. Don't forget to leave a review and I will see you guys on Monday!

Chapter 212

It was a rough week after Steve came back from Japan without Rowan. Granted Steve didn't go straight back to drinking the pain away this time, no the anger of Rowan leaving him the way she had seemed to keep him above the water this time. But Steve was looking for any distraction. The first distraction he found was that more of Rowan's stuff had gone missing.

The two of them had torn the house apart after realizing that one of the items taken with the rest of the stuff was Rowan's phone. When they couldn't find it they assumed that the phone was brought to her along with all her other things.

So, when Steve wasn't around, or when things were getting really hard, he'd call Rowan's phone, get the voicemail immediately and just leave a message.

So like when he found out he failed all his exams and had to go to summer school, he called Ro's phone and left a message and asked if she'd still love him if he was stupid. Or when Steve went back to work with a terrible vengeance leaving him home alone, he called and left a message about how he felt like he'd never be enough for Steve. That he'd never be enough to fix the damage she had caused by leaving.

But that morning, getting home from summer school to find that Steve was still gone and it was up to him to make dinner for himself and Steve whenever he came home, he pulled out his phone and called Rowan again. As per usual it went straight to voicemail again.

"Hey Ro," he said once he heard the beep. "Me again. Just got home from summer school. Steve's gone again. I'm guessing he's still avoiding home cause it reminds him of you, or maybe because I yelled at him and blamed him for you not coming back. I know I should probably talk to him about and how I'm sorry, cause I kind of am but I'm still so mad him know? If he had just… done things right and listened to everyone you'd be here and I still can't forgive him for chasing you off."

He paused a briefly to put toaster waffles in the toaster, it was all they had left in the fridge. The next time Steve was in he was going to have to steal some cash to buy groceries.

"He's also just… absent, you know Ro? He's not taking this well. I always knew that he wouldn't handle a break up and I feel like he has lost himself in this. You'd hate to see the place. He's taken everything that reminds him of you and put it in the crawlspace. Everything is messy and I'm constantly cleaning… and… you should see how bad it is."

Behind him the doorbell rang and he paused. "Oh, someone's at the door. Thanks for listening, Ro. I wish you'd come home… or at least call me. I miss you."

He hung up the phone, grabbed his freshly popped toaster waffles and went to the door.

Since he started working all hours again, Steve had been sending people over to check on him, and bring him food. Usually he sent Mrs. Grover, but sometimes he sent Melissa, Danny's girlfriend. He wasn't expecting Brenda Dean at the door with her infamous clipboard.

Nahele dropped the waffle in his hand in shock as he stared at her. "Brenda!" he cried around a mouthful of waffle. "I mean Miss. Dean, I'm sorry… I didn't… I didn't think you'd be…"

"I got a call," she said. "Where are your foster parents?"

"Uhm… well Steve's at work…" he said.

"And where's Rowan?" she asked pushing her way into the house. She looked around at all the beer cans and take out boxes that Steve had left over the past couple days that Nahele had been too frustrated to clean. Fuck he should have cleaned.

"She's uh… she's…"

"She's not here anymore is she?" Brenda asked. Nahele froze. With Rowan gone, would Steve be allowed to keep her? He figured no, cause it was Rowan on his paperwork not, Steve.

"Uh… well…"

"Don't you lie to me Mr. Huikala," she snapped and Nahele just broke.

"Her and Steve broke up and then she got kidnapped, and the bad guys tortured her and she was really, really hurt and Steve went to get her but she didn't want to come back…"

To her credit, whatever Brenda Dean was expecting it wasn't that. "Kidnapped…" she echoed that clipboard coming up again. She made her way to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and found it empty. She was writing again.

"And when did Rowan get… kidnapped?"

"Uhm… middle of may?"

Brenda turned back to him. "Rowan's been gone for three weeks and no one informed me?"

"Well I mean… I mean I'm still with Steve…"

"Commander Steven McGarrett is not your legal guardian." Oh hot damn. No, this wasn't good. "Okay," she said with a sigh. "And where is Steven now?"

"I told you he's at work," Nahele said.

"Well this is more important, call him," she ordered. Nahele groaned inwardly. This was bad. This was really bad. Still Nahele pulled out his phone and dialed Steve. Call forwarded. Must have been a big case.

"He uh… he's probably busy chasing down a criminal or something," he said ending the call before it could go to the voicemail. "So maybe if you come back…"

"We're going to the Palace," she interrupted as she was so fond of doing and Nahele almost burst into tears then and there.

Regardless, Nahele got into her car even though he didn't want to and then they were on the way to the Palace, where he hoped Steve would be. He used his access to get them both in and then they were escorted to the office doors.

As soon as Nahele saw Steve he just wanted to run to him, run to him and hug him. He wanted to have him tell the bad woman to go away, that he wasn't going to give him up, but he forced himself to walk slowly to him and then tap Steve on the shoulder.

Steve turned to him, and then back to the screen, and then back to him obviously conflicted. "Hey, uh, hey what are you doing here?"

"CPS came by the house," Nahele told him.

"Yeah, okay. Uh… did they… I guess they were asking questions? I said I'd call them 'Hele, and I will… look if this isn't an emergency, I need to…"

"And do you brush Nahele off often for your cases, Commander?" Brenda interrupted and just like that Steve went ramrod straight, his angry blue eyes focusing in on Brenda Dean and her stupid clipboard immediately.

"And Brenda wanted to talk to you," Nahele finished.

"In your office, please, Commander," she ordered.

Steve sighed, clearly aggravated but he went with her and Nahele was left there, his stomach twisting like he was free falling. His life was up in the air and his stomach knew it.

H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O

Steve followed Brenda Dean into his office let her take the seat across from him as he sat back down at his desk. He didn't need this right now, not when Gabriel Waincroft had escaped again which made no sense because NA had literally beat the shit out of him two weeks ago, for the second time in two week span, the man shouldn't have been able to move let alone kill two cops and a nurse on his way out of the hospital.

He took in Brenda's stern face, and stiff posture. He saw that clipboard and pen come out and panic hit him so fucking hard because he had lost so much recently he couldn't lose Nahele too. He wouldn't survive another blow to the heart aching in his chest which was still trying to heal from the last evisceration.

"Look, I know the place is a mess, but uh… I've had a string of cases…"

"Let's cut to the chase, Commander," she said interrupting him. "I got a call from a concerned citizen and decided to do a stop by, I was shocked by what I found."

"Okay, well as I said I've had a string of cases…"

"Nahele tells me that Rowan's no longer with you," she said interrupting him again. Well fuck, what did he tell her that for?

"Well she's alive, if that's what you're asking," he growled.

"But she's no longer living with you, is she?" she asked, but Steve wasn't Rowan and he couldn't come up with a lie as quickly as she could. "She's no longer in the state. Is she?"

Well so much for wiggling out of that one. "No, she's not," he admitted

There was a click of a pen and then that stupid clipboard. "I see."

"But that's okay…"

"His foster parent has left you, the kid and the state, and you think that this is okay? You should have notified us right away so we could find a suitable home…"

"Suitable home? He is in a suitable home! He's with me…"

"You're calling your beer can and take away box infested home, suitable?" she echoed.

"I said I will clean it, okay, I'll get a cleaner in if you're so goddamn worried about it! Okay? You signed me off as a parental guardian, right? I had to do that so Rowan could…"

"Yes, Commander. Rowan. So Rowan could foster him. You, if I remember correctly, had some issues with commitment, and taking on Nahele will be a big responsibility and a very big commitment," she told him. "One I doubt you will be able to take on."

Steve glowered at her. How dare she?! "I am more than capable of taking care of Nahele, I was helping Rowan this whole time!"

"Again Commander, yes. You were helping Rowan, having sole guardianship is something entirely different," she repeated still scrawling on her clipboard.

"Okay, fine, fine, it's completely different, what do I have to do to prove it to you then?" he asked.

"You'll need to apply for full guardianship," she said. "And we'll do the walk through and the interviews and we'll see if I pass you."

"Fine, but he's staying with me," Steve said. "Neither of us are doing so hot with the whole… Rowan thing… I'm all he has and I don't want…"

Brenda Dean turned a glare up at him and Steve almost shifted then and there, but he wasn't letting Brenda take Nahele from him. "It's not a selfish reason… I just don't want him to run again."

It was then she was relented and nodded. "We'll set the walk through for Monday," she said. "Say, 11 o'clock? I assume two days is sufficient time to get yourself and your house in order?"

Steve wanted to say that it was, but she didn't really understand his work schedule. "Uh if I have a case…"

"If your work is more important than Nahele, Commander, tell me now and we'll…"

"No! No it's fine. Monday, 11 o'clock. Just give me a list of things you need me to bring, and I'll be there."

She nodded crispy, stood up, ripped something off of her clipboard and handed it to him. Great that list she wanted. He looked it over as she headed for the door. "And I'd recommend your first stop being a grocery store, Commander, just because he's a teenager doesn't mean that toaster waffles and hot sauce are a nutritionally balanced meal."

Son of a bitch was that all that was in his fridge? Okay, fuck, maybe things had gotten a lot worse than he thought, maybe she had every right to be concerned. God this wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.

H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O

As soon as Steve had gotten home that night, he sent Nahele straight to work. Together the two of them cleaned the house top to bottom. The following day Steve went out and got groceries as well as everything else on Brenda's list.

Then the two of them perfected their script. Steve was not going to yell at Brenda Dean this time, Nahele was going to act suitably happy in his home, but not too over the top so she could tell that she was faking it, and both of them were not going to act like they were shattered by Rowan leaving them.

Nahele had also finally apologized to Steve. He had hugged Steve tightly, called him dad again, and told him that he didn't want to be taken away that he wanted to stay with him. In return Steve had promised him that they would get through this together and he'd do everything in his power to make sure that Nahele got to stay with him.

Nahele needed it as much as he did.

When Monday rolled around Steve was a ball of nerves. How the hell had Rowan done this by herself? How had she seemed so calm and collected the whole time she had been going through this process? Or had he not noticed because he hadn't been around when she went through it? How many stressful day-to-day things did Rowan go through without him there to give her support?

So you could imagine how unhappy he was to catch a kidnapping case tied to a famous rich recluse who was found murdered in the forest, the morning of that case.

He had gone off to over see things, just for a little bit, promising to be back in time for the meeting. But nothing was ever as short as he said it would be which led to Steve racing back to his own house at noon, with his flashers and sirens going to get there before Brenda took Nahele then and there.

Steve practically leapt the steps of his porch and slammed into his own house breathless. "I'm here, I'm here!" he cried.

Nahele, who had been sitting on the couch winced at him as Brenda, with her clipboard already out, sat across from him. Fuck, what had the kid been saying?

"You were supposed to be here by 11, you said you'd be back by 11," Nahele reminded him in an accusatory tone and Steve sighed.

"I have a murder I'm dealing with. We just found out it's a murder and a kidnapping and not just a plain old murder. Kidnapping victim is still in the wind and we're trying to find her."

"That's a lot of gruesome detail for a young boy to have on his mind, do you go in-depth about your cases with Nahele often?"

Steve rounded on Brenda. "No, no of course not."

"And when I got here, he was home alone. Is he home alone every time you're at work?"

"Well I mean… he's fourteen now, he needs some sort of independence right?" Steve had thought that was a good answer, he had no idea why that would be bad. "And besides… he's at school most of the day…"

"So he's at school… in June…" Brenda whispered. "That didn't seem odd to you?" Steve blinked his eyes, okay, when she said it like that, yeah, it sounded weird. When Steve said nothing Brenda put down her clipboard with a sigh. "Are you telling me you had no idea your foster child is in summer school?"

Steve turned to Nahele who had hung his head. "I was gonna tell you…"

"When, Nahele?" Steve cried, his hands on his hips. "What happened? You were studying so hard and doing so well…"

"And then mom left, and they told me she got kidnapped and you got a torture video, and you went to get her and she came back dead but she wasn't really and I just failed my exams…"

Oh god, it had all been too much and it had affected him at school. And Steve hadn't even noticed. He had been so wrapped up in just finding a way to live with that gaping hole in his chest that he had forgotten to make sure that Nahele was doing good too. Fuck, fuck, this was not good.

"Okay so… I obviously need to pay a little bit more attention, but to be fair we're both grieving here…"

The look Brenda Dean gave him could have withered a plant. Well, guess she wasn't going to let him deal the grief card.

"Mr. Huikala, I think you should go upstairs for the duration of the interview," she said and Nahele quickly got up.

He took two steps away before turning back to her and saying: "Please don't move me again. I don't think I could handle losing both parents… again…"

Yes, the guilt card. They had come up with that line last night, Nahele picked a great time to pull that card.

Brenda Dean said nothing but instead shooed him away and bid Steven to sit down. She already had the file that she had asked Steve to put together. His Police Reference Check. His financials. And he had thrown in his military record so she could see that he was well decorated and that if he could handle a battalion he could handle a teen.

"So, luckily for you the SAFE Home Study has already been done part way for you. Rowan had you fast tracked through that process and it is valid for two years, this is a secondary walk through to make sure that it is still up to the same standard that was here when she was in charge of your home."

"Now wait a second, Rowan was not in charge of my home…"

"Who did the cooking, Commander?" "… uh well… Rowan did…" "and the grocery shopping?" "Well… Rowan… but…" "… and who did the cleaning, and the laundry, and the decorating." "Okay, okay I get it."

She nodded again. "If this step is successful you will be expected to go through the PRIDE training…"

"Well I'm already very proud of Nahele…"

"No I mean the Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education Training," she said. "In order for you to be signed off that training will need to have been completed. Will your work get in the way of that?"

"Uh…"

"It's a nine module 27 hour training," she supplied for him.

"Okay, are you making up new rules or something because we didn't need this the first time around…"

"Rowan completed the PRIDE training prior to our SAFE Home Study, which would have been that walkthrough you missed the first time around." She had? Fucking when? How had he not noticed Rowan around for 27 hours? "Judging by your face you didn't know that."

Yeah. There was a lot he didn't know about when it came to Rowan. A lot she did while he was at work. He was surprised she didn't get into more trouble since she clearly had heaps of time on her hand.

"No I didn't know that, but that doesn't change anything. If it's a necessity I'll do it."

She nodded and then scribbled something down on her clipboard before flipping open the file. She looked at all the papers before carefully saying: "You make significantly less money than Rowan."

"Well it's a government job… and I don't get royalty cheques or bonuses for the level of bad guy I take down."

"I understand that, Commander, full heartedly," she said and then flipped through the papers. "Impressive service record, as well."

Steve nodded smiling a little bit. Yes, yes, maybe that would save them.

"When I first was given this case, I was very worried. Rowan seemed flighty, her job seemed whimsical and her whole life seemed hinged upon you which much like a house of cards could come toppling down around her. I forgave some of the red flags I saw because I saw an absolute love for that child I had never seen in anyone before. A sort of fierceness I only ever see in birth parents. And let's be honest no one ever wants the older ones as badly as Rowan wanted Nahele."

Okay where was she going with this?

"Now… with Rowan having abandoned the two of you, I'm a little less… optimistic," she said. Steve frowned. Okay. Not good. That was not good.

"So let's start with your job. Rowan called your hours unforgiving."

"Uh… well I am… I am out a lot, but… uh… I'm looking into getting a nanny to just stay with him, and uh… my friends… and their families they… they've all offered to help me until I find someone. At the moment I've got a rotation of people who come to check on him if I'm out late… so you know…"

"And you think, for a child who has just lost what will be a third parent to him, that that is a stable schedule?"

"Well… until I can find someone… it's all I have… and I mean, at his age I was in military school…"

"And that's what you're thinking of doing? Shipping him off to military school?"

"Well no, of course not…"

"Commander, you come from a place where tough love was the only kind of love available to you. And while you thrived on it, Nahele is not a child who will. He is sensitive, and he is hurting. He's already on the road to torpedoing himself that much is clear in the dip of his grades, and you didn't even notice."

"Look!" Steve suddenly snapped. "It's been hard, okay? I got used to Rowan doing everything, I took her for granted and have always assumed that when I fucked up she'd forgive me and we'd go back to the way things were. But she didn't come back this time, and I've been trying really hard to get over that and I guess I got caught up in my own… sadness…. That doesn't mean I don't care it just means that I'm having a hard time right now, but I am going to fix things for the both of us…"

"By proposing to another woman that was a stranger?" "—Catherine Rollins was not a stranger she was my ex-girlfriend…" "… But did Nahele know her?" "Okay no…"

"And what was your thought process there? Fill Rowan's void with another woman, maybe if you do it fast enough Nahele won't notice the difference?"

Damn he was gonna kill the kid for telling her about Catherine, he really was.

"I don't know… maybe… I just thought… I don't know what I thought. I didn't react well, I apologized to him," Steve growled.

"Mmm," she murmured softly going back to the clipboard. "I'm starting to wonder if there is anything that you do react well to."

It was a low blow that Steve didn't need, and though he'd like to say that things got better from there. It really didn't. But that pent-up aggression from the bad walk through helped him get through the rest of the case and catch their kidnappers and save their girl.

H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O

It took only four days for Brenda Dean to decide what it was she was going to do with Nahele, which was either really good or really bad, considering it took a whole week for her to decide when it came to Rowan. Steve had gotten the call and immediately jumped into panic mode. He and Nahele picked out his outfit, going with his Navy dress blues, with cap and everything, to impress her.

Nahele then assured him that it was probably good news, because Brenda Dean never came to a conclusion that quick, especially not a bad one, because she literally weighed every single option.

Still, Steve had left Nahele at home, afraid that if things didn't go well they didn't have the excuse to take him then and there. But if they turned him down and he got home, he was probably just gonna barricade himself in the house and dare them to come and try to get Nahele from him.

So Steve had gone into the Child Services office across from the Palace where Brenda Dean, put him into her office, told him she had some paper work to finalize and copy and then just left him there to stew. As if he wasn't nervous enough. Steve had just sat there in that little office worrying the cap in his hand, waiting for Brenda Dean to come back in.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Commander," she said coming quickly into the room. She dropped a load of paperwork back onto the desk and then sat down across from him with a smile. "Alright, so, everything has been reviewed… and we're going to be declining your application to become a foster parent."

Silence hit the room as Steve took that in.

He shifted in his chair had half laughed. "Uh… declined… uh… on what grounds?"

"Now, we're not calling you a bad person, Commander McGarrett, it's very clear that you care for Nahele, which is wonderful. But with your work… and how unstable the hours are, you would not be a conducive fit for a young child. In light of what had happened, he needs more than a parent who will be home every other day or home at any hour."

"I understand that… but… my friends…"

"Pawning him off on your friends and their families is not a stable life, Commander. Kids like Nahele, they need more permanency than what you can offer him. And he definitely needs someone who actually pays attention to him."

Goddamn it this was because his didn't realize that Nahele was in summer school. That losing Rowan so close to exams would fuck with him.

"So I'm sorry, we won't be allowing you to become his temporary guardian, but if you were to ever retire or switch to a more… regular… job… we'd be more than happy to have you apply again and we'll set you up with a different child."

But Steve didn't want another child, he wanted Nahele.

"Do…do I have to bring him back right away?"

"We had HPD pick him up, he's in the lobby you can go say good-bye if you like."

HPD had already picked him up. Goddamn it.

He watched with a sinking heart as Brenda stamped the application form with his name on it with a big red declined stamp. It felt like the final nail in his coffin. That was the family he so desperately wanted dead and buried.