Rewrite

AvalonReeseFanFics

A/N: Happy Friday my wonderful readers! So what we have here is another McDanno Therapy Episode! That is right, we've hit that one. I've got a wonderful bromance, all of Danny's sass, and Steve's Maui weekend mix up. I hope you enjoy it, don't forget to leave me a review and I'll see you guys on Monday.

Chapter 237

To say that they had procrastinated on this was an understatement. Danny and Steve had to complete a certain amount of therapy hours together, and they had put it off to the time in between Christmas and New Years for a specialty course at the Ha'aleie Luxury Resort in Maui. Steve had been nothing but excited, needing this to get him through Christmas and ringing in a New Year, once again Rowanless. Danny had not held the same excitement.

For starters, Steve was a disaster. He may not have been admitting it, but Danny knew without a shadow of a doubt that the man was not handling this whole, Rowan leaving, thing well. Even if it was six months ago, he had not been getting over it and all of them could tell.

He still had pictures on his phone that they would sometimes catch him looking at. He hadn't deleted her contact off of his phone yet. Sometimes when they were arguing, if someone did something a little too Rowan-ish, he'd call them by her name by accident. Certain songs that reminded him of her could make him cry, or at the very least change his mood entirely. He had taken the golden seashell necklace and had it converted into a key chain so he could always have it with him. He had decided he didn't want to wear the color blue anymore and wouldn't take off his cargo pants. And the team now had to dance around the subject of Rowan otherwise Steve's mood was likely to do a 180 flip.

Secondly, Danny hated therapy. He didn't want to have to go to some fancy ass resort to learn how to better channel his feelings so he and Steve would stop arguing while at work. What needed to happen was someone sitting Steve down and forcing him to realize he was a whacked out control freak who took way too many risks for a man his age.

Thirdly, Danny didn't want to send his weekend with Steve. He just didn't. He wanted to spend his time with people who didn't 100% aggravate him, or frustrate him, or spend ten minutes on a plane telling him how to wear his headphone correctly, and then some how… some how end up chatting up the girl next to him and getting a date.

A date with her, that night. Danny was to come, be his wing man, Alissa would bring a friend. How nice of her, well he had a girlfriend and Steve was supposed to have a Lynn, but he had been doing to her what he had been doing to Rowan, which was playing the no label card again. At least in Lynn's case she was too busy to care.

All the way through the hotel, Steve had been listing the pros. Danny had half listened but not really. Why the hell would anyone need a Soap Concierge. Who cares if the soap was specially formulated to your specific skin type? Soap was soap.

Danny just wanted this weekend to be over already.

The got to the table where they were to check in for their therapy course. Steve was under the impression that they could just show their faces and then dip, but Danny knew better.

Still he said hello to the woman at the table and was immediately hit by the ray of sunshine that was going to be their therapist for the weekend. "Aloha. Welcome," she said. As Steve hit her with the same sentiment Danny picked up the pen to sign his name to the paper. "Are you gentlemen here for the relationship workshop?"

"Yes, we sure are. I'm Steve," he said before putting a hand to Danny's shoulder. "This is my partner, Danny."

"Hi. I'm your therapist, Loraine."

"Hi Loraine," Steve said shaking her hand. Already he was sucking up. My god this shmuck.

"I'll just ask you to sign in and to kindly place your cellphone in the box you see right there."

Steve paused. He looked at the box and then back to Loraine trying to smile. "I'm sorry?"

"It's this rule I have. We're about to take a deep spiritual journey into the inner world that you two share and we can't have any distractions."

Oh god this was great. The look on Steve's face was making up for this weekend alone. And normally he'd love this, he totally would, but Danny was more concerned with the itinerary he had been reading. "Let's see. What is this, Loraine?"

"Oh, that's an itinerary for the subjects we'll be covering this week," she said. He already knew it was the itinerary for the topics, it was just that these topics were… not right for him and Steve.

"Aha, because it says, overcoming sexual incompatibility," Danny read out. And then Steve was making another face that usually would have filled him with joy but he couldn't enjoy at that moment because if his hunch was right he was going to kill Steve.

Loraine nodded. "Sex is a vital component for a loving relationship."

Danny nodded and then turned to his idiot partner who looked like he had been struck dumb by the understanding of what he had done. "You uh… you signed us up for couples therapy," he said to Steve. Not a question a statement.

Steve was silent a minute before Danny got a whoops from him. There was another pause while he thought this over. "Hey, uh..." he cleared his throat. "This is fine. We can work with this. This is fine."

It was fine because the year was almost up and they had this week to complete their mandatory 30 hours of therapy. This was the last chance to get that done or they wouldn't be allowed to work in the following year.

"It's gonna be great!" Loraine told them, which Danny knew was not going to be true. Regular therapy was already bad enough now he was in couple's therapy with Steve.

Never in his life had he wanted to call Rowan more. She would have appreciated the irony in this, she would have appreciated this and laughed at them.

H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O

Danny had been one hundred percent right about this weekend. It was a complete and utter disaster. Not only was he in couples therapy with a bunch of really bitter people who were not impressed with Steve's fuck up, but Steve had taken him out. And he didn't mean for dinner.

He had forced Danny to take a dive during a three-legged race they had been winning, so he could go and check his phone to see if Alissa had been texting him. Because Steve would demand a bro weekend where they could also get their mandatory therapy hours completed and end up on a date with a girl they met and supposedly annoyed while on the plane over here.

Danny was only supposed to fake an injury, but he had actually gotten injured in the tumble, and then Steve had the nerve to be surprised that he got hurt. The bastard.

Originally, Danny had been caving to the idea of going on a date to help Steve out. Especially since twice in the therapy group, Steve had accidentally called Danny Rowan. But now, with the injured ankle, yeah, Steve was on his own. And he hadn't seemed to care either, Steve went off to his dinner with the two girls.

Danny had almost been asleep when Steve got back to the hotel room. And normally, the super stealthy Navy SEAL would have been able to sneak in without Danny noticing. But on that night, the night Danny really wanted to catch up on some sleep, Steve came in like a bull in a china shop, evening managing to knock over something metallic in the washroom. So you know, the loudest the man could be.

And all he got from Steve was: whoopsie.

Great, the man was drunk. That was all Danny needed. It was a good thing Danny's ankle was messed up or he might have attacked Steven then and there. Instead he half turned in the bed and with an aggressive sigh, asked: "You're a former Navy SEAL what happened to stealth mode?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "You awake?"

No he was chewing him out in his sleep. "No, I'm not awake. I'm asleep, you putz. You don't have to whisper now."

"Did you see the photos I sent you?"

Yeah the photos of him and two girls who purposely looked nothing like Rowan or Catherine. Pretending to be happy when everyone and their mother knew that man wasn't. "Yeah I saw the photos you sent me," he said instead of getting into the whole Rowan argument again. "You guys look like you were having a great time."

"The girls were really bummed you didn't make it." "…Yeah." "I didn't know what to tell them."

"You could have told them you destroyed my entire weekend. I hope you know that. I hope you're happy."

"You know what, this is the second time this month that ankle's given out on you. It's not the ankle, the ankle, the ankle Danny."

Great he was talking gibberish. Steven managed to reign his words back in for the next sentence though.

"We both know this trip never had a chance from the start."

"Oh yeah what was that supposed to mean?" he asked but Steve didn't answer right away. So Danny pressed him. "I'm just curious. Huh?"

"What do I mean? I'm talking about your attitude. I'm talking about this black hole of negative energy that is Detective Danny Williams, man. I just brought us out here to try to have some fun, reconnect a little bit, get away from work for a minute and you're just… you've been down on this thing from the start."

"Yeah and for good reason apparently, it turned out, right?"

Steve sighed and dropped himself to the bed. "You ever heard of the power of positive thinking Danny?" Yeah, he had heard of it. "Well it works the other way around too. It's the power of negative thinking. Bad things happen to negative people. See example 1-A, you."

"How…? You basically crippled me going after this girl, and somehow it's my fault?"

Steve sighed again. "Loraine said we're not allowed to go to bed unless we resolve our arguments, alright? So fine," he said propping himself up and turning to Danny. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that you're negative and you bring bad things onto yourself."

"Well I find that completely and utterly laughable since that is exactly what you were like with your relationship with Rowan."

And then it was out there. Even in the dark Danny could see the pain on Steve's face and he immediately regretted kicking his friend when he was down. When Danny knew what that subject did to him.

"Okay, that was harsh and I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did."

"Come on, you know no one blames you for what happened…"

"I do."

"Yes and that is ridiculous…"

"Is it though?" Steve asked. "Maybe you're right. I was the black hole in our relationship."

Oh dear god, he got it. But Danny didn't want to do that to him now, the man was already hurting. While it was great he was clearly seeing the problems with he and Rowan's relationship, he hadn't want to force that epiphany on his now.

Though maybe if he got through it before the end of the year, he could leave Rowan behind in this year and start the New Year fresh.

"I tanked us from the very beginning. I looked for every and any excuse for us not to work together. And when I wasn't doing that I… I was being selfish, you know?" Steve said softly. "I think about that a lot. That she was always so afraid to tell me things, to be herself around me. I kept saying that we had nothing in common and she was going to leave me… but she tried. She tried everything… to make me happy, you know? She went camping for me… and surfing… and hiking and… I never once went to her gigs, I chose work over her… I just shunted her to the side and then made it her fault when she got upset."

All of that was true, of course. But Danny didn't know what it was that had brought this on, how or when Steve had this major epiphany.

"I took Rowan for granted. I took her network for granted. I blamed her for constantly lying to me but she had to lie to me Danny. She had to lie to me cause I never took anything she had to say to me positively," Steve said.

"Well, we all took that network for granted," Danny said. "We all thought she was indestructible."

"I was so upset about Wo Fat… but he… he saved her life…" "—Multiple times…" "—Shut up Danny, I get it, okay? I get why she wouldn't want to come back to me. I didn't like her for her, I took her for granted, I was conflicting when it came to her app, and I get why he wouldn't give her back. If I had just shut up… if I had just not thrown Catherine at her she'd still be here, and I'd still have Nahele and everything would be okay…"

Danny propped himself up in his bed and glared at Steve. "No you wouldn't," he growled. "And you know why? Because you and her would still have those problems. You'd still be taking her for granted, she'd still be hiding things from you cause you couldn't handle the truth, you two were heading for a break up that was going to end TERRIBLY for everyone involved. So don't beat yourself up so bad. We didn't think you two were gonna stay together much longer anyway."

For a moment Steve stared at him as if he couldn't believe that Danny had said that. He turned his head away to look at the ceiling before whispering. "You were right about the promise ring. I should have just proposed."

"God Steven."

"I know you don't want to hear this…" "—That's not it."

Was that what his friend thought? Really? That he didn't want to hear about Steve and his pain? He was supposed to be his friend, his best friend. Steve should have felt like he could tell Danny anything. And it hurt him to think that Steve didn't feel like he could open up to him.

Steve turned his wounded eyes back to him and Danny sighed. "Buddy. We know. Every single one of us knew that you two were either going to break up or get married. I know you loved her…"

"I still love her Danny."

"Wow… really? Still?" he asked. Steve nodded and Danny nodded too, damn he thought that with the emergence of Lynn and Steve trying to go on dates with other woman that Steve was starting to get over Rowan. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. "Okay. That's okay. I understand how that feels… you know? But if you're going to stay here… if you're not going to chase her down…"

"Chase her down, Danny she told me to leave!" he cried. "She doesn't want me!"

"You know, I don't believe that, none of us do. You should have found her before coming back, you should have heard those words drop out of her mouth, not through the phone."

"We're not talking about this again," Steve said turning away from Danny.

"Fine. Look. You're allowed to be hurt, and by all means, take your time to get over this, you know, but don't let Rowan Pierce break you," Danny said. "You know what you did wrong, make sure you don't ever do it again. Learn from your mistakes Steven."

Steve nodded, silent for a moment before whispering: "I'm really sorry about your ankle, Danny."

"Thank you…" he said before turning back around. "Do you really think that I'm that negative?"

He waited for an answer but got nothing but silence. Danny propped himself up to look at Steve. The man had his eyes closed.

"Steven?"

Nothing. Nothing except heavy even breathing. The man had fucking fallen asleep as if that apology had fixed everything. Danny threw himself back down to his pillows with a sigh and scowl. He couldn't believe he had just done that. In the silence came the deep sonorous rumbling sound that jolted Danny right back up.

And now the man was snoring. This. Was. Just. Great.

He thought they were having a moment, but it obviously didn't mean as much to him if he could just pass out before the conclusion. How the hell had Rowan lived with him? Cause at this rate, Danny was gonna smother him in his sleep.

H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O

They had had a sort of breakthrough at couple counselling. Granted Danny had called it all stupid but he had paired it with a nice sentiment. That they all obviously loved each other and they should remember that love, not nitpick on all the little things until all they had was disappointment and irritation. Then they got a break for lunch.

A lunch that Danny was eating alone because Steve was once more off with Alissa. Or at least he thought he was. Danny was just about finished half of his very amazing, very expensive burger when Steve showed up. Deep bags were under his eyes, and he was telling the waiter to bring him a burger like Danny's and a big glass of water. That was probably because the man was hung over. He was drinking heavily these days, though it got worse on the days that he was reminded of Rowan.

Danny watched Steve sit down wondering if his date had ditched him and super not excited to be Steve's secondary choice. Steve, however, was all smiles.

"Hey, good looking," Great, he was sucking up, that was suspicious. What did he do now?

"Thought you were gonna see Alissa."

"Uh, yeah, I was. But I… you know, I blew it off to come and hang with you instead."

Danny practically inhaled the last bite of the first half of his burger. "You didn't have to do that. I'm fine."

"Oh I didn't do it for you," Steve said quickly. Danny just nodded patronizingly which got Steve rambling. "See all these people, all these nice people sitting around? You know how much money they spent to have this dream vacation experience? I personally don't think it's fair that their experience be marred by the sight of a gimpy-ankled man sitting here eating a 20 dollar hamburger by himself. It's just not right. So you know, for their sake, enjoy my company."

That was a load of hooey and they both knew it. "See, I thought you were just concerned for me."

"Nope."

Danny just nodded, fine, he'd let him have it. The waiter came back with Steve's water and Danny suddenly found himself compelled to share.

"You wanna hear something crazy?" "…Yeah." "I don't know how crazy it is, but I think you can appreciate it… but… uh… when Rachel and I started having our problems she… she suggested that we go see a marriage counsellor together. I, of course, said no. I figured, look we got problems we'll figure it out ourselves. But, uh, we never did that, did we?

"What, you think therapy would've saved your marriage?" Steve asked.

"No. Probably not. You know, we had a lot of problems. Some hers, some mine. But the point is, is that she um… she was willing to do whatever it took to save our family, and I guess… I guess maybe I wasn't. And that kind of sticks with me, you know?"

Steve shook his head like he couldn't believe it. "You left everything and moved to Hawaii so that Gracie would have a father in her life. And still you question your commitment to your family? Don't do it. No one can question your commitment to your family."

"I know, I just… you know, it's hard not to think about the fact that things maybe could've been different had I gone to see that counsellor with her. I don't know," he said with a heavy sigh.

"Things would've been different, maybe you would have never met me, how about that?"

"One could dream."

Steve shook his head. "Yeah well I gotta tell you man. Your ankle aside, look around you right now. I mean, there are much worse places a failed marriage could land you. You gotta admit, come on, look at the place."

"No, no you're right. My failed marriage brings me to Hawaii and my dysfunctional relationship with you brings me here," he said with a grin before dawning a very serious face. "But uh... I want you to do me a favour." "Right now?" "Yeah right now."

"Sure, anything for you."

"Can you please, at least to me, tell me the truth," he said. "The truth about why you're not out with Alissa right now."

"I told you, I wanted to hang with you…"

Danny pinned him with a knowing stare and then repeated: "The truth, Steve."

"Fine, fine, cause she's not Rowan," Steve admitted with a scowl. "Okay? Are you happy?"

"Yes I'm happy," Danny said. "Because keeping that bottled up inside isn't gonna help you. You wanna put on a brave face and pretend you're not hurting in front of the others that's fine, but when it's you and me. You and me, I want you to tell me the truth. I don't want you to think that I don't want to hear it. Just get it off your chest."

Steve was silent a moment taking that in. "Okay. Fine. The truth? I liked Alissa, I liked Alissa cause she's nothing like Rowan. And for a while that was great, but then I started comparing her to Rowan and… well… no one's ever going to come to close to how I felt for her. I know that, and… I guess…"

"It's hard to let that go," Danny finished for him. "You know why I told you, about me and Rachel and therapy?" Steve shook his head. "Because how I felt when Rachel and I split… that's how you feel right now, about you and Rowan. But you got no reason to feel that way…"

"But she tried harder than I did, Danny…"

"Yeah, but you tried too," Danny explained. "You did. Sure you got distracted more, sure Rowan tried harder, but you tried too. It wasn't all one sided. She asked for you to be more understanding and instead of saying no flat out, you tried and then didn't follow through. That's different. And no one, no one can ever question your commitment to Rowan. Alright? Cause you went through hell to try and bring her back."

Steve hung his head. There was something about this whole situation that Steve seemed determined to martyr himself for. Danny couldn't figure out what it was, couldn't get his friend to tell him. But despite all the logical arguments, Steve refused to let this guilt go. Or maybe he was just refusing to let Rowan go.

"I guess," he said after a while. "And maybe one day, I'll look back and find that to be true. But right now Danny, all it does is hurt."

"Yeah," Danny said softly. "But that goes away with time. I promise."

Steve held his eyes for a moment, and in those eyes Danny saw the pain he was living with, and a glimmer of hope lit up. Like maybe, finally, Danny's words had gotten through to him.

And then just like that it was gone. Steve turned away from him, the emotions clearly too much. "Where's my burger, I'm starving."

Already Danny was pushing his plate over. "Here, eat this half," he said. Steve tried to protest but Danny shook his head. "It's fine, I'll eat your other half. Have that."

"Really? Alright, thanks, pal," Steve said and then took a massive bite. Steve never could turn down free food for very long.

"It's good huh?"

"This is the best hamburger I ever had in my life," Steve said, sounding super fucking annoyed about it.

"It's worth the 25 bucks, right?"

"This is unbelievable," Steve said taking yet another bite. He hadn't even swallowed his last one. Man was trying to choke. "This place really has everything."

How was he still talking with that much food in his mouth?

"I used that artisanal soap," Danny admitted. He had said he wasn't going to but he was bored and it was included so he figured… why not? "Forget about it. Unbelievable."

"What'd I tell you?" Steve cried. Danny nodded. Steve had told him.

"My hands have never been so soft, not in my entire life," Danny told him.

"Can I feel?"

"Yeah feel this," Danny said extending his harm. Steve dropped the burger and put his hand to his. As Steve stroked the arm to feel the softness, remarking right away the difference he felt, Danny inwardly remarked to himself that he was glad they were joking around. Things felt like they were sliding back into place. Like this weekend was all Steve needed to start getting himself back on track.