Rewrite

AvalonReeseFanFics

A/N: Happy Wednesday my wonderful readers! We have a nice little update here today, we've got a cute little dinner and Steve and Rowan are going to try their hands at talking their issues out. In other news, DayDreamer987 was the first review on our 300th chapter and as such won a prize. They've chosen to have a 7-day marathon which will be starting this coming Monday! So isn't that something to look forward to! As always don't forget to leave a review and I'll see you guys on Friday!

Chapter 302

Late that night, the newly adopted Nahele along with Rowan and Steve headed to the dinner where they would be celebrating the adoption. When he had called Danny the night before and had told him what Rowan was doing, the first thing that Danny had done was congratulate him. When he had to clarify that Rowan was adopting Nahele on her own, Danny asked him how that had happened.

Steve had to tell him that Rowan just hadn't communicated with him and thought that adopting Nahele together so soon after coming back would have put strain on their burgeoning relationship. Then Danny had the nerve to laugh at him.

But he did agree to plan a nice family friendly celebration for Steve seeing as he was too busy settling everything and talking things over with Rowan to do it himself.

When they finally showed up at Morimoto that evening, they were the ones who were fashionably late, despite only Rowan needing to change.

Rowan had changed into this navy-blue dress with a short skirt and off the shoulder-down to her elbow sleeves. The back was entirely made of lace, indicating that she was not wearing a bra, around her neck was this stunning diamond necklace that she kept telling him was fake but he wasn't sure if he believed her, and she was in a pair of navy blue red-bottom heels, these ones with crystals all down the stiletto and back of the shoe. She went from looking like an intimidating business women to a bombshell ready to walk the red carpet. Steve felt out of place, he thought he should put on one of his fancier suits to match her, but she really, really hadn't wanted him out of his dress blues so he had complied.

They got there and everyone stood up to congratulate Nahele and Rowan on the adoption. Nahele got hugs from everyone, which included one really long one from Grace. Danny had to pry her off of him.

Steve already knew that he was going to get some kind of lecture about it. Grace was two years younger than Nahele, and Nahele was quite handsome. It was only logical that she might have some sort of school girl crush on him. But that didn't mean Steve had to listen to the lecture. Nahele was two years older, and he saw Grace like a little sister there was no way he'd make a move.

Rowan got pats on the back and comments like how motherhood seemed to be agreeing with her. No, her new wardrobe and that sparkling piece of hardware around her neck was what was making her glow like that.

And, of course, Steve got nothing in the way of congratulations because Rowan had left him out of the loop. He was struggling so hard with not being bitter about that but he couldn't help it. Had she just talked to him they would have be celebrating the unity of his family. His whole family.

They got him sitting down in the seat of honor at the front of the table, there was a secondary table for all the "welcome to the family" gifts the team had gotten him. Masaharu Morimoto came out himself with the first plate of sushi for Nahele and Rowan, on the house. He congratulated them both on the new adoption said he had another surprise ready for the end of the dinner before heading back for the rest of plates for the table.

"So Nahele," Chin said, he was sitting closest to the head of the table. "Have you put any thought into what your last name is going to be?"

Nahele nodded eagerly before shooting a glance at Rowan. "I was thinking of a hyphen."

"Nahele Huikala-Pierce," Kono announced as if testing it out. "I like it."

There was a chorus of agreement from around he table. But now Steve was thinking about Hyphens.

Rowan Hazel McGarrett-Pierce. Nahele Huikala-McGarrett. Both of those sounded so good, why did they have to sound so good? It only served to remind him that his family would be perfect, if he ever managed to get it.

They all chatted for a moment before Rowan abruptly turned to Chin. "So, what's going on with Sara, have you decided to adopt her yet?"

Chin seemed side-blinded by that question. He donned a shaky smile glanced to all the faces around the table before asking her: "What?"

"Well you decide to adopt her at some point, I just hope you do it before they find her aunt and uncle in Spain. It'll be easier that way…"

Chin cleared his throat and turned to Kono. "Did you tell her about…"

"No, I haven't seen her since her day at the Palace and she only talked to Steve."

Rowan winced. Clearly Kono was a little bitter about how little attention Rowan had paid her best friend since returning to Hawaii. "Sorry, Kono," she said quickly. "I have been a bit distracted since I've come back. Would you like to go for a girls-only spa day some time this weekend?"

"I would actually love that," she said and then she leant forward and said: "Child Services told Chin that Sara's Aunt and Uncle in Spain are looking to adopt her already. He keeps saying he's fine with it but I think he's not."

"Oh, he's not. I know he's not. But that's okay, after we rescue her you get custody," she said and then stopped she blinked her eyes and then whispered: "Wait a second, she's not supposed to get kidnapped… he wouldn't dare cross me again. Maybe I should text Armando…"

"Rowan," Steve snapped through grit teeth. He couldn't believe that she would just start texting criminals at the table in front of all his law enforcement friends at Nahele's Adoption party. Rowan was half way through reaching for the clutch she had hung over the back of her chair. She stared up at him with those big blue eyes as if she had no idea what the problem was, but when he just stared at her, willing her to understand what he was trying to say with his eyes. And luckily, after a heated staring match, it seemed to dawn on her.

She mumbled an apology to him and he took her hand, once she was sitting properly, and gave it a tight squeeze, just so she knew that he wasn't mad. She shot him a little bit of a playful smile that had him grinning too.

Luckily, they didn't revisit the whole adopting Sara thing for the rest of the dinner. Masaharu came out with a cake with sparklers for Nahele to cut into, while his friends took pictures. They then helped them pile all the presents into the trunk of Rowan's GTO and then Rowan let Steve drive them home.

Steve did get a little bit of what he wanted that night. He got to drive with his girl in the front seat, with the window down. He got to watch the air play with her hair as it breezed into her face and they all sung her familiar tunes the whole ride home. He had been dreaming of reliving something like that for a long time. And while he would have rather done the adoption together, he'd settle for getting a little glimpse into his old life. Even if it was just for the night.

H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O

The following morning Rowan woke up, not because her alarm had gone off, or because she was awake. No something had woken her up and she realized it was Steven. He was hovering over her, his fingers trailing through her hair and to the ticklish spots by her lips. What the hell did he want her up for? He didn't want to have sex last night, and she was too tired now, so he had sure as hell missed his window.

"Rowan… it's tomorrow."

Rowan groaned and curled a little tighter into the blankets. She was all comfortable and warm, why did he have to wake her? Especially since the talk he wanted to have was essentially just going to be an argument. She should have told Nahele about the Captain America Contingency when Steve wasn't around.

"For the love of god Steven, I swear if I open my eyes and it's before 9 am I'm going to kill you."

"We need to talk about this Rowan."

Rowan rolled over to where he usually was in bed, realized he wasn't there and then rolled back over to find him standing over her. For the love of god, why was he out of bed? She checked the time, it said six in the morning, he must have gone for a swim or a run. Though why he would when he had literally just had a major surgery a few weeks ago was beyond him.

"It's a back up plan Steven. That's all. An in case of plan. I am not planning on leaving…"

"Why do you need it though Rowan? Why would he set that up again…?"

"Because someone has a habit of arresting me when he doesn't get his way," she snapped and Steve hung his head. "Steve. Come on. Be reasonable. It's an exit strategy. That's all. To use if I need to. Okay? It's something for me to have, in case you and I go belly up and you won't let me leave."

"And you're taking Nahele with you."

"Of course I am, Steven. He's my kid!"

Yes, and now it was legal. They had signed the papers yesterday and everything. He had been the witness signature. He wouldn't be able to stop her at all if she were to decide to leave him and take their kid with her.

When Steve said nothing, Rowan scooted over a little more so she was closer to him. She lifted a hand, took a hold of his shirt and then tugged until he dropped to his knees. He wasn't sticky, sweaty or wet, that meant that he hadn't gone swimming or for a run, he must have been up just thinking. That was worse.

"Look. I'm not going to use it. It's not something I plan to use you know? It's just that… he was worried about me. He was leaving me, for the first time in a year, and wanted me to have something, you know? Because he knew I was going to drop contact and he wouldn't be here on the island to help me if something had happened. So that's what it's for. For in case I needed it. That's all. It doesn't mean I'm ever going to use it again, it's just there. Everyone needs an exit strategy… you know?"

Steve nodded but found he couldn't look at her. He still said nothing and eventually she asked: "Okay, what else is wrong?"

Steve couldn't help but grimace. He knew what he wanted to say was going to be hard and was mostly his fault. He just… wasn't used to the new Rowan, he missed his Rowan and he still felt like he hadn't gotten her back.

"I… I don't know how to…"

"Just say it. Rip it off like a band aid."

"Okay. I don't like the new you." Rowan blinked her eyes and stared him clearly not expecting that. He found himself wincing too because it came out in a way he didn't really mean. "Okay that was harsh. It's not that I don't like you… I'm just not… I unno it's like I got you back, but it's not you, I've got some hybrid version of you…"

"Steve… you have to understand. Something terrible happened to me. You don't survive something like that without you know… changing a bit."

"But that's not it, Rowan," Steven cried. "Come on, I'd understand if you were slightly traumatized, but this isn't trauma, it's like… it's like you turned into him."

"Okay, yeah, I can see how it would look like that," she said to him and he sighed, glad that she sort of understood what was going on in his head. "Can you… can you give me a chance to explain?"

Steve nodded and she sighed.

"I did change. You're right. And it happened when Wo Fat told me that you and Catherine got married. You see… to prove it to me, he gave me this package. It had all these pictures and a wedding invitation and… well… I saw those pictures… yes now I know they're fake… but I saw those pictures Steve and well… it was like I might as well have died, I swear. It devastated me, seeing those pictures. I realized that I didn't want to be me anymore. I didn't want to live with that pain, I wanted it to all go away and I couldn't keep drinking it away. So… I asked Wo Fat to help me be a little more… unemotional. Alright fine, my tastes are more expensive now, but I spent a year with Wo Fat and he taught me about brands and how people form an image of you based on what you put out, and the brand is part of that image. I don't like the price, but it made people look at me differently. Suddenly I wasn't childish, wild Ro anymore…"

"You were Rory Wickerby," Steve finished for her.

"Yeah… cold, detached and impervious to heartache Rory Wickerby," she said. "I know it's a change, but you know, this really isn't an evolution, it's more like I devolved."

"What do you mean?"

"This version of me… it's a lot like the me I used to be in high school. Oh who am I kidding, this version of me… it's the me I was before. You know… before… before I came here. Hidden behind walls because I don't trust the people around me… I had to be like that… because of the skating, you know? It was a very cut throat environment and… back in my world I was… god this is gonna sound like a brag but I was kind of famous. And I had all these skeletons in my closet, I was always terrified that the media would find out about and… I unno… that doesn't make you the most open person you know? And when I came here… I saw it as a chance to change that, and I guess… since you never saw the real me, you assumed this new version of me was the real me… do you kind of get it?"

Steve nodded. He did get. It had just never occurred to him that the Rowan he knew wasn't the real Rowan. It was just… his Rowan. Though it did explain how easily she slipped into that cool, guarded, ice queen persona. It was obviously what she was used to. And it must have killed her when Steve said he didn't like her that way, because that was who she really was. He couldn't imagine how painful it would be to be told that the person you cared about didn't like you the way you were… even if they didn't know the real you at that point. No wonder she had been so closed off with him, no wonder she hid things or didn't tell him when she was doing something he didn't like.

He knew he had been too quiet for too long when she started talking again. "Granted I'm much more sophisticated now, that part is 100% Wo Fat, but… I unno… I didn't think it was that big of a change… or that big of a deal. I'm still your Rowan, my heart still belongs to you. I've just got different packaging."

"Well… that does make me feel a bit better. Knowing that it's more of a slide back to a version of you I didn't know. I guess… I guess I just see more of him now… I guess it's just… you dress like him, you act like him and I… I miss the old you, who smiled and laughed and ran wild, even if it did get you in trouble," he reached out and cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand. "Don't get me wrong, you're absolutely stunning, I guess… I guess what worries me is that… well… I unno."

"No, what is it?" Rowan asked.

"You can say what you want, but to me you evolved. You turned into this beautiful socialite and I'm still… rough and tough me… girls like you don't stay with guys like me."

Rowan laughed. "Oh, this again. Is that what you're worried about?"

"Rowan look at you. I mean, really look at you. I'm cargo pants and Kevlar and your Versace and Gucci…" "Well, actually the suit was Armani, the blouse was Dolce and Gabbana and the dress was Prada…" "Rowan see… I can't even tell what you were wearing and I could see the brand logos… I just… we don't look like we should be together."

"Steve we never looked like we should be together. You either look like a surfing ad for Hollister or you should be on the cover of a GQ magazine all the time and I used to look like a punk rock wanna-be. But that's our thing. We don't match up, we've never been a matchy-match couple and that works for us," she said, putting her hands out to cup his own cheek and she smiled lovingly at him. "I like the new me. The new me is in better control of her emotions, I'm more reliable and less likely to run off after a vision, and I'm much more capable. I mean… there are changes you made that I don't like…"

"Like what?"

"Uh… the hair. Why is your hair so short Steven?"

"I like it this way…"

"I have nothing to play with, nothing to hold on to. I honestly hate it."

"You haven't said anything."

"No, cause you like it. I figured I'll get used it or talk to you about it later."

"I mean… I guess I can grow it out again."

"That's not the point Steve," Rowan said. "The point is, we're still getting to know each other. The new people we've become. I know I've changed somewhat drastically but Steve, terrible things happened to me and I just… I don't think I can go back to the way I was before them." She slid up to him, one of her hands covering his heart, the heart that belonged to her. "Do you think you can try to get to know her? The new me?"

"Of course."

"I'll try to be a little less… aloof, if that helps," Rowan said. "Honestly it's just a coping mechanism. This is all so new and fragile and… I've been burned by you before… I… I'm afraid of getting hurt too, you know."

"Yes, I do… I know… I get it. But uh… it might help me adjust better… simply because the… aloof thing… it's very Wo Fat-ish… you know?"

"It really is, isn't it?" She asked with a wince. "I'm sorry but that's just… it's who I am now. It's helping me cope with what happened, its keeping me grounded. I just don't think that I can go back to the way I was before. And I… well… I kind of like who I've become… I was hoping you'd learn to like me too."

"I do, and I guess I just haven't seen the benefits yet, mainly cause you keep Ice Queening me. And let me tell you, that has not been fun."

Rowan laughed. "Yes, I've actually managed to improve on the Ice Queen bit if you can believe it."

Steve smiled too. "Yeah, I can believe it," he whispered. "Uh… but I'm more than willing to give it a shot. Really, I just… I guess I had this image in my head of the way things would be…"

"I get that, Steve, I do," she whispered. "I pictured you with more hair." That one earned her a chuckle and she smile. "We just need to get used to each other again."

Steve nodded and Rowan stretched out in the bed. "Are you going for a run or a swim."

"A run," he told her. Yeah she didn't want him to do that. He was still healing from the surgery after all.

"Is there any chance that you might want to… uhm… stay?" she asked opening her arms to him.

Steve didn't think twice, he climbed into that bed and into her arms and on top of her. She wound her arms around his neck and he couldn't stop himself from sweeping in to kiss her, relishing in her taste and he feel of her against him. He pressed closer to her and she smiled into his kiss, allowing his hands to wander and that familiar tempo to build up between them. At least that hadn't changed.