Content warnings: Misremembering/forgetting; lying about being fine; questioning if something really happened

Private Message: frog_maniac, Stewart Pines

frog_maniac: okay but why did that dog go evil after eating A Turtle

Stewart Pines: What.

Stewart Pines: OH. I have no idea.

frog_maniac: cause aunty whispers ate one and was fine

frog_maniac: like ?

frog_maniac: inconsistent much? get ur act together unknown

Stewart Pines: Auntie Whispers said that her sister was Adelaide. Adelaide was a witch, so it stands to reason that Auntie Whispers is one too. Maybe her status as a witch makes her immune to the effects of the black turtles.

frog_maniac: WIAT didnt whispers tell us about adelaide AFTER we killed her?

frog_maniac: that wouldve been helpful BEFORE we were nearly

frog_maniac: uh

frog_maniac: what was she gonna do?

Stewart Pines: Brainwash us into being her slaves.

frog_maniac: yeah that advice wouldve been helpful BEFORE we were nearly brainwashed into being her slaves WHISPERS

frog_maniac: what did you do

Stewart Pines: Huh

frog_maniac: my PAPERS

frog_maniac: you organized them and NOW I CANT FIND ANYTHING

Stewart Pines: They were all over the floor! What did you want me to do?

frog_maniac: Your lucky your my brother jerkbutt

Stewart Pines: You're*

frog_maniac: …

Stewart Pines: …I should run.

frog_maniac: you have thirty minutes

frog_maniac: :(

Stewart Pines: What?

frog_maniac: lorna

Stewart Pines: Oh. Yeah.

frog_maniac: i feel like i used the wrong emoji

frog_maniac: jeez just…lorna

Stewart Pines: Yeah, it was pretty messed up.

frog_maniac: how many people do you think she killed?

Stewart Pines: God, I don't even want to think about it.

frog_maniac: it really happened?

Stewart Pines: Yeah

frog_maniac: it wasnt a dream?

Stewart Pines: Yeah

Stewart Pines: Are you okay?

Stewart Pines: I'm not trying to be insensitive, I just

frog_maniac: god i can hear your stuttering from here and dont you DARE autocorrect me

frog_maniac: are you sure it wasnt a dream?

Stewart Pines: Sharing dreams isn't possible, so yes.

Stewart Pines: Greg?

frog_maniac: i have a spotify now

frog_maniac: im the frog whisperer

frog_maniac: open./artist/7AZhVyJhNsExuDqMAF4Ui3

frog_maniac: check it outttttt

Stewart Pines: ITS 1AM GO TO SLEEP

frog_maniac: It's*

frog_maniac: Grammar, Wirt.

frog_maniac: was uncle endicott really our uncle

Stewart Pines: No. We only pretended to be his nephews so we could get money for the ferry.

Stewart Pines: It was Beatrice's idea.

frog_maniac: GODDAMMIT BEATRICE

frog_maniac: i miss beatrice

Stewart Pines: Yeah

Stewart Pines: Me too.

frog_maniac: [Image: beastwirt]

Stewart Pines: what

Stewart Pines: is that

frog_maniac: beast wirt! Its you but if you took the beast's deal

Stewart Pines: How do you even know about that? You were unconscious.

frog_maniac: the edelwood are part of a semi-hivemind

Stewart Pines: …God. Okay then

Stewart Pines: But "Beast Wirt" doesn't make sense logistically. The Woodsman took the Beast's deal and he wasn't turned into something nonhuman, so I wouldn't have been either.

frog_maniac: but its fun

frog_maniac: you wouldnt understand, youre not an artist

Stewart Pines: ExCUSE me I literally play clarinet. And write poetry.

frog_maniac: i LiTeRaLlY pLaY cLaRiNeT

frog_maniac: shut up you repeat art people have already written

frog_maniac: who has a spotify you or me

Stewart Pines: You're actually getting mad over this.

Stewart Pines: Beast Wirt is illogical, end of story.

Stewart Pines: Greg?

frog_maniac: i know where you live

frog_maniac: mrs langtree man

frog_maniac: what was up with her

Stewart Pines: I have no idea and I honestly do not want to know.

frog_maniac: yeah thats fair

frog_maniac: man

frog_maniac: you *HAD* segs?

frog_maniac: well then you better go catch it!

Stewart Pines: I'll tell the twins you said happy birthday and that you're sorry you couldn't make it.

frog_maniac: NO WAIT I DIDNT MEAN IT

frog_maniac: it really happened?

Stewart Pines: Greg, whenever you shake Jason Funderburker, his tummy glows. That's because he ate the magic bell that commanded the evil spirit that was possessing Lorna. It really happened.

Stewart Pines: Why did you translate Potatoes and Molasses into Latin

frog_maniac: you looked at my spotify!

Stewart Pines: And you added a couple of lines from the Beast's song.

[Stewart Pines called frog_maniac.]

[frog_maniac declined a call from Stewart Pines.]

frog_maniac: remember the frog boat

Stewart Pines: Yes.

frog_maniac: jason funderburker SANG

frog_maniac: wHAT

Stewart Pines: Yup.

frog_maniac: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

replying to: Greg, whenever you shake Jason Funderburker, his tummy glows. That's because he ate the magic bell that commanded the evil spirit that was possessing Lorna. It really happened.

frog_maniac: you said it was a baby toy tho?

Stewart Pines: ?

Stewart Pines: When?

frog_maniac: you told mom and my dad that jason funderburker ate a baby toy and

frog_maniac: rrrgh never mind

Stewart Pines: I told them that so they wouldn't think we're crazy.

frog_maniac: i know but then you didnt talk to me alone about it? or any of it?

frog_maniac: you really made me think that it never really happened and RRRGHHHH

frog_maniac: never mind

Stewart Pines: Greg, that was a horrible mistake I made. If I could go back in time I would undo not talking to you about any of it and talk about all of it, even if it made me uncomfortable.

frog_maniac: no i understand why you lied its okay

Stewart Pines: It's not.

frog_maniac: it is

frog_maniac: never mind

frog_maniac: im fine

[Stewart Pines called frog_maniac.]

[frog_maniac declined a call from Stewart Pines.]

[frog_maniac is offline.]

frog_maniac: pottsfield

frog_maniac: potter's field

Stewart Pines: Oh

Stewart Pines: my God

Stewart Pines: That's horrible.

frog_maniac: ITS AMAZING

frog_maniac: LY CLEVER

Stewart Pines: Pottsfield

Stewart Pines: My effing God Pottsfield

frog_maniac: THAT FREAKING HORSE

Stewart Pines: Fred?

frog_maniac: HE ATE ALL MY FOOD

frog_maniac: THE ONLY THING I EVER HAD IN THE UNKOWN WAS MY CANDY, POTATOES AND MOLASSES, AND *LEAVES*

frog_maniac: FRED I HOPE YOU DIE IN A DITCH

Stewart Pines: I'm so sorry.

frog_maniac: huh

Stewart Pines: I was a horrible brother.

frog_maniac: no

frog_maniac: you were a horrible half-brother

frog_maniac: but youre not my half brother

frog_maniac: youre my *full* brother

frog_maniac: genetics can jump off a bridge

Stewart Pines: I love you.

frog_maniac: i love you

frog_maniac: more

Stewart Pines: I am not doing this again.

frog_maniac: I WIN!

frog_maniac: it really happened?

[Stewart Pines started a call with frog_maniac that lasted seven minutes.]

frog_maniac: thank you

Stewart Pines: You're welcome, Greg.