This chapter took ALOT out of me. I may have heaved a few times while writing it.
I was going to delay putting it out until I finished the other 5 drafts I'm trying to finish, but I'm feeling nice, so I'll give it to you now.
Making out on her bed, his left hand went to her jaw, sloppily molding his mouth against hers as they slowly started to descend down, their heads leaning against the wall.
His right hand trailed up against the top of her outer thigh, applying more pressure as she tightened her core and drew her legs in. Pushing back against his lips a fraction, her breathing increased, subtly moving his hand down, away from the hem of the bottom of her dress. He didn't get the memo though, grinding into her more and putting his hand on her butt
Amy's eyes sprung open, drawing back entirely, squinting, "What the hell was that?" Moving away from reach by springing off the bed, "What did you think was going to happen tonight?" Her face held anger, red and raging.
"What?" Adam panted, his fingers twitching, "you started it! You invited me over here!"
"Yeah to talk, and hang out - not to have sex with me!" She fumed, tears threatening her vision, "I'm not like that! I've only ever been with one guy, and I'm not ready for another physical relationship. Especially with someone I barely know!" She was crying now, her emotions betraying her by bringing Ricky into her mind, the sad look in his eyes as he cried against the window, breaking her. "I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for that..."
Adam raked his fingers through his blonde hair, blowing a breath from his cheeks, "I misread the signals - that's on me." Pressing his long fingers into the mattress as he rose to stand, putting his tattooed hand on her cheek, "I like you, Amy. It's cool if you're specific - it's... refreshing..." Amy cocked a brow at his statement, not really knowing what to make out of it. "I just meant that it's nice that you don't just give it out to every guy you meet - like most girls do." Her look didn't change, prompting him to draw his cheeks up and squint, still not getting his wording right, chuckling "I'm really bad at words"
Nodding, Amy giggled under her breath, smiling before straightening and grabbing the back of his neck, "I really really like you, Adam..." molding her mouth to his again, her other hand resting on the base of his arm.
The door flew open, Emery's face contorting in disgust as she threw her bag on the floor, and caught sight of them, "Ugh, get a room you two!" Adam threw up his middle finger at her, prompting Amy to giggle against his lips.
"Daddy..." He squeaked against the blanket covering half of his face, poking his index finger into the softer spot of his dad's bicep, "daddy..."
Twitching at the disturbance it took a few more gentle pokes before he opened one eye and saw him standing there. "John?" Ricky quickly shot up, concern taking over his features as he reached out to touch his son's arm, "What's wrong, buddy?"
"Um -um" John sniffled a few times, his breath increasing like it often did before he threw a tantrum. His eyes looked away quickly, rising the blanket further over his head, "I - I'm sc-awr-ed... d-air mon-stwers in my woom..."
Releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding in, Ricky closed his eyes - silently thankful that his son's issue was trivial, "John, there's no monsters in there. Monsters aren't real - go back to bed." Patting John's head gently, he brushed his thumb across his hand reassuringly as the baby monitor by his head released its nightly shriek across the small apartment, aiding in the late night wakeup.
John's eyes widened, sucking in his chest, "See, d-air are mon-stwers!"
Shaking his head, Ricky slung his legs over the side, yawning into the air, "That's not a monster, John - that's Emma."
Following him, John grasped onto his shirt tail as they were greeted by his baby sister screaming with her hands tightly attached to the bars of the crib. Emma did this almost every night since their mommy left.
"She's jus sc-ar-ed of the mon-stwers too, daddy!" John nodded, taking hold of Emma's small hand when she was safe in their fathers arms.
Not having the energy to argue or actually prove to the kid that monsters weren't there, Ricky yawned again and stalked out of the room, stopping only when he got back to the sofa bed, tilting his head as the signal to climb in and join.
"Lay still - no kicking this time, got it, John?" He instructed, shifting his weight to lie flat with Emma against his chest, as John nuzzled against his side, closing his eyes. Ricky sighed, wrapping his right arm tight around his small body as he watched little puffs of air escape his mouth as he slipped into a peaceful slumber by his side.
Throwing open the door caused him to jolt, startled by the disturbance, and fall forward, catching himself against the shelving before he hit the ground.
"You look inviting -" Ethan snickered, stepping around him
Adjusting his arms, Ricky shook his head and closed his eyes, slowly rising to stand, "Don't start - I don't have the energy." His eyelids drooped, complimenting the scruffy frown on his face
Ethan grimaced at him, "What happened to you dude? Where's the guy who used to get any, and every girl? You're a mess!" He stepped over to the other side, gathering up a tray of frozen steaks, "You need a night out - a date or something." Ricky scoffed as he followed him out, blinking a few times to gather his surroundings.
"Call that chick at the college - see if she'll hang out with you."
Ricky's eyes widened, now fully awake, angry, "Are you kidding me? She's the reason I'm in this mess!"
Ethan shook his head, laying out the frozen platter on the table, "Look bro, if that were true then Amy would be back by now. But she's not because that wasn't the driving force behind her leaving. She wanted to leave. She chose to do it." Wiping his hands on the apron, "Now the question is... do you chose to let her ruin you too, or do you pick up the phone and apologize to that poor college woman and see if you can be happy with someone other than Amy Juergens?" Ricky pursed his lips, mentally debating on what his brother was saying.
"What do you think?" Ricky asked her as she was walking by, "I know you hate to get involved with personal problems at work, but please... I really value your opinion"
Bunny cocked her head to the side, raising a brow, "If this girl has feelings for you - real feelings... why are you allowing yourself to be sucked under by someone who doesn't share that same feeling anymore?" His brow knitted together, mouth agape a fraction as she rose the other brow, "Think about it."
"I mean what do I do? Betray Amy and call Clementine, or just wait it out? What if Amy comes to her freaking senses and comes back? Then what?" He paced, hands clasped tightly against the back of his head, "Say she does come back, it'll devastate her to know that I didn't wait - that I moved on to the woman who broke us up in the first place!"
Leaning up, Ken opened his mouth to speak, cut off by Ricky's continuing pace as he rambled on. "And then there's John and Emma... what will they think? Their mom just left and now their dad wants to start going out? Where does that leave them?" He paused, lowering his head, "This is all just... too much... for me right now."
"But then again why should I be the one who suffers? Did she not choose to go to New York and leave us here to live a carefree life? Yet I'm stuck here working my ass off for the family we created together?"
"Can I say something?" Dr. Fields interjected, raising the pen into the air
Ricky nodded, but started in again, "What is John supposed to think about all of this... I mean I know he's only three but he's getting better at catching on to things. What if this - this notion of moving on from Amy, destroys him in someway? Seeing me out with another woman is going to raise questions - questions I don't know how to answer, nor really want to... What do I do?" Blowing out a breath, he stopped again, hands on his hips now.
Ken directed his attention, pointing with the pen, "First, take a seat before you ware a hole into the carpet." Obeying, Ricky slowly descended, running his palms back and forth against his jeans. "Secondly... you can't base your willingness to move on, on when, or if Amy decides to come back. You don't know if she is going to come back. She may, and she may not - If you're ready to move on... drive that into your head."
He tapped his knuckles against the arm of the chair, "Amy gave you the ring back - I'm assuming that also means she's still ignoring your calls?" Ricky cut his eyes down, toying with the gold band he still chose to wear. "None of this is fair - not to you, nor the children - and her dangling everyone on a string like a puppet isn't helping anyone either."
"Watch it!" Ricky snapped back, hands stilling as he took a deep breath.
Putting up a hand in surrender, Ken nodded, "I know how you feel, but you asked for my advice so I'm going to give it to you: I've known Amy for a very long time, she's Lauren's best friend, so I know how Amy can be - stubborn for one thing, and generally starts to pull away the second she feels scared of something." Leaning forward, "Take her pregnancy with John for example - Amy told Lauren and Madison before she told her parents, or you - why?"
He shrugged, answering flatly, "She was a 15 year old girl who told her girlfriends she had crappy sex at a summer band camp to make them jealous?"
"No. She was deflecting - like you just were." Ricky's jaw twitched. Ken's brow furrowed, "Amy told them first because she was scared; you had broken her heart and didn't seem to care, so she got involved with Ben -"
"Why do you have to bring him up?"
"To make a point - she ran to her friends scared out of her mind. She turned to them, and then to Ben. Not you. She was afraid of you hurting her more than you already had, so she pushed you away. Same as you did to her, and to everyone else who tried to help you." Sighing, "You two are the same in the way that you push away the people who are just trying to show you that you're cared for: your way is to lean into the pain, hers is to run away from it."
Tapping the pen against the paper, "Another example is this - you can't be afraid to move on with your own happiness because your son may or may not have an understanding of it. John is young, and while he may slowly start to be taking more in, he's not equipped with enough knowledge to grasp the concept of what is fully going on. He knows Amy is at school in New York - but not why, or how long she's been gone; his understanding of time isn't fully developed yet so to him she's only been gone a few hours or a few days, not weeks or months. So you basing whether or not you should call this girl for a date, shouldn't weigh on the opinion of a toddler." Ricky's eyes cut away again, focusing on his shoes and then the carpet.
"Unless... you're just using him as an excuse to not do this."
"Of course I don't want to do this - I want Amy to come home, and apologize, and for us to go back to the way things were!" Ricky's voice rose, cracking ever so subtly as the emotion started to break through. Ken nodded slowly, pursing his lips.
"Is she seeing anyone?" Ricky asked through a whisper, knocking his shoes together the way he often did when they were discussing something uncomfortable, snapping his head up as he fiddled with his ring again, "Amy... is she dating...?"
"You know we can't discuss this -"
"Why not? Amy's not your patient - she's Lauren's best friend - she's the mother of my kids... don't you think I deserve to know? Who is he...?"
Ken sighed, putting the pad of paper on the side table, "... I don't know much - Lauren just told me she's seeing and getting to know some guy. That's all I know." Ricky rose to stand, shaking his head in both disbelief and anger. "But don't let that deter you away from our discussion"
His eyes were puffy, the glassy stare starting to break to give way to the dark orbs, as his jaw twitched and he ripped the door open, muttering angrily, "Too late."
Getting to the silver hybrid, he pulled hard at the door handle, surprising himself as it sprung open and almost knocked him in the face with the force. Raging like a bull, he pulled out his phone, closing his eyes and drawing his bottom lip between his teeth; his hand gripping the roots of his hair tightly as the annoying robotic voice chimed, "Voicemail full" before gripping the steering wheel and shaking it.
The phone fell to his feet, her picture glaring back at him mockingly. Picking it up, he stared at it hard before pushing another button and making it disappear: deleting it and replacing it with a picture of the only part of her he actually wanted to see - John and Emma. The image of their smiling faces (Or rather John's, since Emma was too little to actually smile when it was taken) shooting a pain through his chest.
"Why Amy? Why did you have to break my heart?" Ricky mumbled through a quivering lip, letting the tears hit his hands.
The device chimed again, a large birthday cake parading across the screen as it read: Amy's 19th Birthday!
Plopping the last scoop of vanilla with chocolate swirls on top, he smiled and shuffled the plates, gathering them both and going to the table.
She made her way down the hallway, completely oblivious to the decadent masterpiece he'd drummed up early that morning.
She stopped at the table, pointing to the plate housing two oddly large waffles with ice cream and sprinkles on them, her eyes widening in wonder, "Are those for me?" He nodded, his chest slightly sucked in as he bit his lip in hopes that she liked it. The smile coming to her face the reaction he'd hoped for. "You shouldn't have!"
Taking a seat next to her, Ricky nodded again, handing her a fork, "I should have - you deserve it."
Putting both elbows on the table, Amy rested her chin in her hands, both brows raised, "Shower sex, and ice cream waffles?" Lips pursing as he took a bite, "What are you up to?"
"Nothing. Can't I just shower you in affection because I love you?" Swallowing, he chuckled taking another bite, eyes shifting down, "Alright... I wanted to make up for being a jerk and missing your birthday last year..."
Her eyes were soft, running her hand along his shoulder blade, "You don't have to do that. I'm not mad anymore." Resting her head on it as she looked up at him. He smiled back, pecking her lips with his.
"Although I'd be happier if -" without hesitation, he shifted a bowl of cherries towards her, loving when her dimples popped out as she cried, "You're amazing!"
"I try."
"Can you believe I'm finally 18?!" She squealed after shoving a mound of breakfast into her mouth, her hand by her lips acting as a barrier as she spoke, "I'm finally an adult!"
He smirked, accepting the bite she offered him from her fork, "Well I'd hope so cause we just did some very adult things back there..." eyebrows wiggling as he leaned into her again
"Mmm, yeah..." She nodded, putting a hand on his jaw as she dipped further in, deepening their kiss; lapping her tongue around his; the low moan escaping his throat pleasing her.
The patter of little steps made their way across the hardwood, followed by the whispery whines of the half dressed toddler, grasping a teddy bear in one hand as the other was three fingers deep into his mouth.
Ricky sighed against her lips, not wanting to pull away, "Five more minutes buddy, we're celebrating mommy being an adult..." John didn't care, inching closer as Amy too sighed and started to pull away.
Throwing his head back, and blowing air from his cheeks, "Alright- I'm going." Giggling, she draw back, taking another bite of waffle into her mouth, as he leaned forward and brushed her lips again, "Happy birthday, Amy," disappearing into the hallway to attend to their child.
Snapping out of his thoughts, and sucking in a breath, he dialed the number. It rang twice before she picked up. "I know I have no right to call after what I've said... but if you don't totally want to run me over with a car, or slash my tires..." he rambled quickly, grasping the steering wheel with his right hand, "would you - oh geez - would you - maybe want to... hang out with me tonight?"
Jumping on the bed, she whistled loudly, the champagne flutes, filled almost to the top with morning mimosas, in both hands, beaming, "Drink up, chica!"
"What are you -" She questioned groggily, squinting against the harsh light
"After that whole finding out you had secret kids thing, I did a deep internet dive on you and..." Emery raised the glass to her, "Happy birthday!" Taking it, Amy shook her head, rolling her eyes at her friends antics. She moved off the mattress, taking a sip and slapping the bedding, "Get up and dressed because we are going to down these suckers and then head out for mani-pedis before we head to the club later for birthday shots!"
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm not really a mani-pedi type of person -"
"Neither am I, but I have plans to hook up with the guy I've been seeing, and these babies need some serious love." Em put her hands out, grimacing at their desperate need for some TLC, "Same with you if you plan on stepping it up with Adam... what better day than your birthday!" Taking another long sip, before putting it on the table, "So get up! As my grandfather used to say - you're burning daylight!"
Chuckling, Amy tipped it back, enjoying the tart yet sweet taste on her tongue. So much so that she drank it all and giggled, "Hit me again!" And tilted it upward, "cheers!"
"Again? It's only Wednesday... yeah okay -" He blew air from his cheeks in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose as he hung up, "John threw a block at another kid - they put him in timeout again." Tapping the device against his palm, and pursing his lips into a thin line, "Maybe I should cancel - stay home and spend time with him?"
Ethan's head shot up, stopping what he was doing as he shouted out, "What - no, you shouldn't! The kid is still going to be mad anyway, why ruin your night too?" Wiping his hands on the apron, "You just go out, Kathy and I got this."
Ricky's brow furrowed, "You two? Alone?" Ethan nodded, causing Ricky to scoff, "Now I'm definitely canceling"
"We're not going to do anything considering we're not even together..."
"I thought you two -"
"Nope. She wasn't ready to make that decision yet." He sounded sad as he said the statement out loud, his chest deflated, "So we're friends. Friends you need - so be nice."
"You do know that in order to babysit, you have to be physically active and attentive, right? It's not like the movies, where you just shove the kid in a corner with a toy and carry on with your life."
"Did I not just say be nice?"
"I gotta admit... this is pretty great." Raising the glass to her lips and tilting her head back, closing her eyes in relaxation as a short black haired woman filed her toenails. "The last time I got my nails done, my son did them." The statement made her chest hurt, swallowing the lump starting to form in her throat, "I was really pregnant, and he wanted to help me so badly..."
"Look mommy!" He squealed in accomplishment, adjusting the item in his hands with a tilt
"All done?" She asked, glancing down at the toddler smearing blue polish all over her toenails.
"He ended up painting all of my toes, but was so excited, and proud of himself for 'helping mommy'."
"They look so pretty John, thank you!" She flashed him a smile
"Do you miss them?" Emery interrupted the memory, taking a sip from her own glass
Taking a moment, Amy nodded slowly, silently, before drawing in her wobbling lip, "Every second of the day." Swallowing again, "Mainly the small things: my sons infectious laugh, and the way he sways in his chair at mealtimes when he sings little songs, or the way my daughters dimples pop out of her cheeks when she smiles..." The thoughts of them bringing a smile to her face but a pain to her chest.
Em popped her head back up, blowing on her left hand, "... And Ricky?"
"Ma! Ma!" She coaxed, pushing the purple spoon against the infants lips, "It's just like da - see, M-mmm Ma!"
Her eyes grew wide, "Da!" Accepting the small pile of mashed baby food from the spoon
"Okay, I think I got all the sand out." Ricky chimed from the hallway, grasping their towel clad toddler in his arms, his brow furrowed, "How did he get sand in his nose, anyway?" John giggled, running his palm over the wet spots on his dad's t-shirt, knowing he caused them.
A loud buzzing started sounding, her phone on the coffee table vibrating so much it was about to hit the floor. Wiping her fingers on a napkin, Amy squinted at him, "Can you get that? My hands are a little full"
Nodding, he put John on his feet, and took the device, answering before disappearing into the hallway.
"Da!" Emma squealed again, grabbing onto the towel John had around his body, and trying to bring it to her mouth.
John giggled, grabbing her hand as she babbled and pointed to her food, squealing the same word over and over again. His nose wrinkled in reaction to both her words, and the giant mess she was making, "Dat not daddy, Em-ma!" Amy chuckled too, pushing more food into the infants mouth.
Ricky's footing was slow coming back, "That was O'Malley..." stopping dead in his tracks when he reached the bookshelf, putting the phone down, "you... did it, Ames! You passed!"
Her eyes shot up, "Really?" Waiting for his nod before she dropped the spoon into the bowl and leapt off the chair, catapulting into him, "Thank you for helping me, and for taking care of the kids, and for just... Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Amy rambled happily, wrapping her arms tight across his waist, feverishly kissing his lips before moving to the spot where his jaw stuck out.
Enjoying the affection, Ricky's eyes were closed - both completely forgetting their children were mere inches from them. He coughed lowly, tilting his head towards them when she drew back with her furrowed brow. Their children's eyes were wide, watching their parents: John's hand over his mouth, and Emma's feet kicking in excitement.
Giving him another sweet peck, Amy blushed and moved to his ear, seductively tickling his lope as she whispered, "I'll be sure to give you a proper thank you tonight..." Smirking as she went back into the kitchen to attend to their children.
John moved his sisters hand from his nose, bouncing on his feet, squealing along with his mothers excitement.
Taking a seat, Ricky swooped John over, threading his fingers across his towel covered stomach, as he stood between his legs, "What should we do to celebrate, buddy?" John shrugged, breaking his dad's hold on him, to jump on her lap. Ricky rolled his eyes, shifting his gaze to Emma.
"You d-id it mommy!" John beamed, patting Amy's cheek as he kissed it sweetly, soaking in her embrace.
"Should we go get some ice cream?" This got John's attention, his eyes shifting back to his dad
Running her nails through his hair, Amy gave Ricky a slightly disapproving look, "It's almost bedtime."
"Just a little bit," getting up to grab some baby wipes from the counter and wiping Emma down, "C'mon Ames, this is exciting!"
"Pwease, mommy... jus wittle bit i-ce cw-ee-me?" John's squinty eyed pleading made Amy giggle, nodding in agreement. John threw his hands in the air, and giggled when his dad took his sister and started clapping her small hands together, "yaayy!"
Amy paused again, taking a few deep breaths through her mouth before downing the rest of the glass, and whispering under her breath with a tear in her eye, "There's not enough alcohol in the world to forget about him..."
Glancing quickly at her mimicking an airplane to get the baby to eat, he took in a deep breath through his nose, and pointed at the hamburger on the table, aggravated at his refusal to touch it, "I cut that thing in pieces for you - are you gonna eat it or not?"
"No!" He shouted, holding his arms across his chest in a firm, defiant stance, "I do-nt w-ant it!"
"You literally begged for it - eat it anyway." Ethan's rough voice earned him a slap to the arm, "Hey!"
"I do-nt w-ant it!" John shouted again, kicking his feet against the table, "Go hw-ome!"
"What's going on?" Ricky called out from the bedroom, straightening out his shirt as he walked into the kitchen.
Ethan rolled his eyes, grasping the back of the chair, "Kid won't eat."
Waving his hand dismissively, Ricky pushed the other chair under the table, "Wrap it up, he'll eat it later."
Doing just that, Ethan grabbed the greasy wrapper holding the partially soggy hamburger, elicting a shove and a shriek, "Nooo!"
"Whats wrong now?" Ricky snapped up, hands on his hips, raising his brow at the boy huffing into his hands
"I-I w-w-ant E-Tan go hw-ome!"
"Too bad - Kathy and I are babysitting you tonight." The huffing paused momentarily, being replaced by a growl and a sharp piercing gaze from both the boy, and his dad. "What?"
It took all of four seconds for John to kick the table again, harder, and start thrashing in his seat.
Closing his eyes, Ricky expelled a very frustrated breath, "Why did you have to blurt it out like that?" trying to remedy the situation by bending to his level and taking his hands into his, "C'mere."
"No!" John protested, shoving him away, "Daddy no go!"
"Look at me." Ricky spoke softer, tilting his chin with his forefinger, "I want you to eat your dinner. I've got to do something and then I'll be back later, okay?"
"Come on, John, you can play with us!" Kathy waved over, propping the baby against her lap on the sofa
He shook his head with force, throwing one of his sisters teething toys towards them, "No! I do-nt wike you!"
"John!" Ricky scolded him, "We don't throw things! No!" Stopping his hand from grabbing something else, his patience running very thin, "Sit. Now." John's eyes shifted down, his tiny eyebrows knitting themselves together, his red face contorting in sheer anger.
Ricky sighed at the sight, missing the smile that was slowly starting to fade with each passing day Amy didn't come home. Knowing John's behavior was unacceptable, he sighed again, and grabbed him, plopping his bottom in the time-out chair by the door; his heart breaking as the boy thrashed and screamed for him.
Attempting one more time, Ricky knelt beside him, brushing the tips of his knuckles across the back of John's scalp, "What's going on with you, buddy?"
Ethan rolled his eyes again, grabbing him by the shirt sleeve in a haste, "He'll be fine. Go. Before that one sees you"
Giving his brother a disapproving look, Ricky pursed his lips, and sat there until John's breathing started to slow down, allowing him to kiss his cheek softly before he stood up and walked out the door - hearing the cries escalate again from the top step; mentally debating if canceling and going back inside was what he truly needed to do.
"Where's Emma? Where is she?" She cooed, whipping the blanket off her head quickly as she cackled at the game. "Yaay!" Giggling, as the infant put her hands together, "You're so cute!"
"Do you ever think about it?" He mumbled quietly, looking away from the textbook in his lap, eyes filled with genuine curiosity, "Hedy, I mean. Do you ever think about... what could have been if you'd kept her?"
"What like this?" Kathy answered, biting her bottom lip and gesturing around them with her hands, "Sometimes... but then I remember that she's happy with Jonathan and Sonya. That way I wanted her to be. I couldn't do this - raise a baby by myself."
Ethan nodded at her honesty, jaw twitching at the thought of what could have been with them. "Do you think he's okay?" Her eyes were gentle, sad, as she watched the toddler ram a tractor aggressively into a superhero figure, "I'm worried about him..."
Ethan glanced over too, sighing under his breath at the boy, "He's angry, and too young to know how to deal with it. I know that feeling."
"Do you think she'll ever come back?"
"I don't -" He was cut off by a screech, and Kathy quickly shooting off the couch to deal with it.
"Aswhole!" John screamed, throwing the toy to the ground so hard it broke
"What's wrong, John?" Kathy plugged her left ear, trying to shout calmly over him as he clutched his finger - that the toy had pinched between its wheels as he was ramming it.
Leaning more to get a better look, she reached for his hand, not expecting the harsh way he pulled it back and screeched, "I-I want mommmyyyy!"
Having enough, Ethan shut the book with an audible thud, ready to end this tantrum once and for all.
"Wait -" Kathy put her hand out to stop him, pulling her phone from the back pocket of her jeans, and looking between the two before sheepishly typing the digits into it, "Maybe she'll pick up if it's me?" He sighed but nodded in agreement, going back to the sofa just in time to prevent the mobile infant from diving head first off of it.
"Seriously? The club is going to close by the time we actually get to sit down!" She fumed, clicking her tongue ring against her teeth, her daggers directed at the poor hostess who didn't look more than 15.
She was tapping her foot absentmindly, rolling her eyes at her friends rude outbursts, "Sorry, she's just a little agitated - we don't mind waiting"
"Uh, yeah we do. Look Chica - it's my friends birthday and we're kinda in a hurry to see her boyfriend, and we've already been here for a fucking half hour, so if you could just get your head out of your as -"
The door they were standing by came open, making her stumble back against the person entering.
"What are you doing here?" Amy's eyes widened in both happiness and confusion
Adam shrugged, "Em said you were eating here before the show - club has shifty food anyway." Eyes squinting as he pulled a pink wrapper from his pocket, and handed it to her "Happy birthday?"
Her fingers brushed against the monogramed keychain "Oh you didn't have to-", of the words 'fuck it'. A deep laugh bubbled from her throat, amused by the gift, before the chime from the device in her hand diverted her attention - "Sorry... I should take this." Stepping a few inches away, she clicked the accept button, a smile coming her face, "Hey, Kathy!
Expecting the lilt of her friends tone, she was unprepared by the response, as his cheery little voice sang back, "Hi, mommy!"
Amy swallowed roughly, grasping the phone tighter against her ear and moving further away from them before she spoke again, "Hey...buddy..."
After 5 minutes of John's continuous rambles into the receiver - half of which was almost impossible to understand - Amy sighed, the ache in her chest building with each squeak his little self made.
Emery raced over, grabbing her elbow, "Hey - hey they finally got us a table -" knitting her brow at her finger rise to give her another minute, before walking away
Amy sighed again, pulling the phone further away from her ear, quickly, "Okay... hey buddy, I have to go now but I'll call you tomorrow okay?" John started to ramble again, but paused at her sigh, the keychain poking her fingertips, as she made her way over to their table, "Ok that sounds good, I'll talk to you later, okay? Ok, bye... John..."
"Who's John?" Adam asked, grabbing the chair with his tattooed hand
Emery and Amy's eyes got big, shuffling her purse, "He's uh - a friend from back home." Glancing between them, and taking a menu from the table, "Are we eating or what?"
"Sorry, had I known those burgers would be that cold I would have just made some myself." He half chuckled, pushing the
partially eaten burger tucked inside the wrapper aside, shifting against the cushion to look at her better, his arm spread over the back of the sofa, "This is nice - to talk, I mean. About something other than dinosaurs or trains or Elmo."
She shifted too, inching closer to him, "They take up a lot of your time, huh?"
"Yeah... you could say that. It's more along the lines of I march to the beat of their schedule; their exhausting, sometimes slightly irritating, schedules. But I wouldn't trade it. Oddly enough the choas calms me. And the way we all snuggle up and read together, as their eyes flutter closed - oblivious to the world crumbling around them - makes me remember the good in the world." His lip tipped up thinking about it, head down as he fiddled with the ring he still wore.
She nodded along, sliding her palms across his shirt, as she leaned in further and brought her lips to his. Allowing it, he let her kiss him, not breaking away like he had before - the first step in him moving on.
His hands were eager, lifting the fold of her jacket away from her shoulder, ready to attack the side of her neck with his lips.
Amy's eyes widened, stilling his hands and pinning his arms to his sides with her hands. "Oh c'mon..." Ricky pouted like their toddler, puckering his bottom lip out
She stifled a giggle, "If we don't leave now we'll be late!" Leaning forward to brush her lips against his, fueling him.
"I don't care about dinner..." his voice was husky, dragging her bottom lip slightly with his teeth, "I need you..."
"Ricky..." Clementine moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck as she lowered her chin down into his shoulder and began to slowly trail her lips against his skin
His breath hitched, hands stilling on her waist, that he couldn't remember putting there, or when she had gotten on top of him, "Clementine I -"
Her hands were too rough, and her kisses were too sloppy; her red nails barely leaving a trace on his skin as she drug them down the base of his throat. "Shhh... let me take care of you..."
"Told you I could take your mind off that test..." She smirked, eyes fluttering in both bliss and exhaustion, tracing his left peck with her index finger
"It's a presentation..." He smirked back, clutching the worn sheets in his left hand, while his right went up and down her back, pressing his lips to hers again, "and, maybe I'm still a little... nervous?"
"Oh really?" Amy's brow rose at his nod, shifting on her elbows, a sparkle in her brown eyes, "John should be out for another 20 minutes or so-"
Ricky cut her off by kissing her again, deeper, rolling them both over until she was on her back and he was on top of her, "I only need 5"
She moaned again, running her hands up his chiseled chest, pushing the garment further away, and driving herself further into his low groan. He was silent, his mind elsewhere. She didn't pause, quickening her motions as she grinded into the bulge starting to get hard in his pants; fingers lightning fast in unbuckling his belt, unfastening the button, and unzipping his jeans.
"I can't -" Ricky choked, blinking rapidly, "I just - I can't!" Pushing her off of him, standing up quickly as she fell back against the cushion, zipping, and buttoning back up his pants, his breathing rigid. "I thought I could... but I can't -"
"Ricky!" Clementine cried, the horrified expression playing on her face making him swallow roughly, fighting back a tear as he raced for the door
"I'm sorry."
The relentless knocking made him shake his head, the book in his hand now being shoved on the table by the front door as he opened it.
His eyes were glassy, fist stilling from knocking against the wood again, "I went by your office - I need to talk to you."
"I've never had this problem before - sex that meant nothing... Sex just for sex." He was pacing again, hands on his hips, lips pursed, "It wasn't that I didn't want it... because I did..." pausing, he raised his left hand to his chin, tapping his finger against it, "...but every time I pushed myself further into it... I couldn't stop picturing her face... and thinking about her -" pausing again, he sniffled, shaking his head back and forth slowly, "she's the one who left me! Left me like nothing!"
Ricky's voice cracked, fighting hard not to wither into a pile of tears as he muttered, "So why can't I leave her?" Sniffling again, What is wrong with me?"
"It's simple." Ken folded his hands on his knee, leaning up from the chair, "You're still in love with Amy. And you won't betray your love for her by sleeping with someone else."
"Voicemail full" The annoying robot repeated, each time only fueling his rage.
"I want to ta-lk to mommy!" He hollered into the device, pushing the same green button again for the 12th time, hoping she'd pick up; each time she didn't, and the robot did, making him more upset, which in turn made the baby upset, and the two teenagers upset because they had to deal with all of it.
"John..." Kathy sighed, pacing the floor to try to get the restless baby to sleep, debating on taking the phone from his grasp.
"I got this" Ethan stood up, stalking over to the kitchen chair John was occupying, and taking the device from him, eliciting a shape kick to the shin and a ear splitting screech, "Look John, you're just wasting your breath, kid. Your mom doesn't want to talk to you. She left - move on. I did!"
Her eyes widened at his harshness towards the distraught boy, "Ethan!"
"Happy Birthdayyy tooo youuuu" They sang sloppily, raising the glasses up before tilting them back and slamming them down. She spun on the barstool, slightly buzzed from the two shots she'd already downed as her phone buzzed inside her purse again.
Taking it out, she finally pushed the button, and shouted into it "John - I can't talk right now, okay? Goodnight!" Before hanging up with a frown and throwing it back into her bag, spinning around again to talk to him. "So Em said you wrote a new song? Are you playing it tonight?" He didn't look at her, just scoffed loudly and stumbled off the barstool. "Adam?" She followed on his heels, grasping for his arm, "You okay?"
He turned on his heel, the blue of his eyes dulling into a pale gray, "Who's John, and why hasn't he stopped calling you?"
Taken aback by his outburst, Amy let go of his arm and ran her hand through her bangs, "It's not a big deal -"
"It is to me - who is he? Your old boyfriend? Some guy you've been seeing?" The muscles in Adam's neck were flexing, his closed fists showing his agitation at her answer as he shook his head fiercely and stomped away, "You know what? Fine! Talk to him then..."
"Adam wait..." She called after him, picking up her pace to gain enough footing to get in front of him, "Adam, John isn't my old boyfriend, or a friend back home..." He kept walking, putting one foot on the step before she caught his arm and tearfully blurted out, "John is my son... " Stopping his dead in his tracks.
"So when you said your relationship with your ex was complicated... you meant it - that's, that's a huge thing.
"I'm sorry for not telling you - I didn't know how, and I didn't want to scare you off..." She confessed, swinging her legs back and forth from the side of the stage. The club had cleared out, everyone going to the bar down the street for more shots.
His head was down, fingers fiddling with the rings in his lip, "I can't believe you have a kid... you're younger than me -"
She nodded, "I know. I had him - my son - after I got pregnant my freshman year of highschool, at 15."
"So you have a kid, that's... manageable"
Sighing, Amy took a deep breath, "Actually... Adam... I have two..." glancing down at her hands in her lap, "A little girl, her name is Emma"
"Twins?"
"No, they're 3 years apart. Emma is still a baby"
"So that's why you always wanna go back to your dorm super early..." He was tracing a pattern into the wood with his finger, still not looking at her directly, "Wait... do they live with you?"
She shook her head quickly, "No, no they live with their dad... in California..." Her voice starting to get a little shaky as she mumbled, "My ex - Ricky... he's uh, he's their father."
"Oh..." Adam's lips pursed, finally tilting up his chin to glance at her, "You just have the 2, right? No more hidden in a backpack or something?"
"Just the two." She chuckled lightly, slumping her shoulders, "It's been really hard not being with them... but I came out here to broaden my horizons... it's just - It's hard - them being 3000 miles away... missing their milestones..."
She took in a gulp of air, wiping a tear from her cheek that had escaped, "my daughter started crawling the other day... and I wasn't there to see it..." She choked on a sob, putting her hand over her mouth, squeaking, "I'm sorry -"
His eyes became soft, reaching for her hand, the roughness being replaced by gentleness, "Don't apologize for missing your kids. You're allowed to have feelings, Amy." His long fingers grazed her jaw tenderly, letting her tears hit them as she struggled to regain composure.
After about three minutes of silence as she sat and sobbed, she sniffled hard and squeezed his hand, "You make it a little less hard through - these past few weeks with you have been really great... so I'll understand if you want to go: if you think this is too much of a bombshell, and want to walk away..."
Shifting his legs to dangle over the ledge, Adam brought Amy into his embrace, "Lucky for you I'm not a shallow asshole who let's something good slip through my fingers. So you have kids? So what? You're still hot, and..." He didn't get to finish his sentence as her hand snaked around his neck and brought him to her, crashing her lips onto his, and driving her chest further into him, lapping her tongue around his again and again until she was on his lap, and grinding into him.
"Ames... we can't -" He panted, closing his eyes in defeat at the teasing of her lips trailing down his jawline, "What if...John...walks...in?"
"He's asleep..." She gave him a rough kiss, driving her chest into his with more force, "Besides... I want you...", unbuttoning the pesky flannel he was wearing to gain more contact, "Don't you want me?"
Not being able to deny her, Ricky smirked, and changed their positions, her back now against the counter as he pushed against the protruding of her small baby bump hidden under her baggy shirt, "Amy Juergens, I always want you"
"Don't you mean Amy Underwood?" Amy slurred, capturing his lower lip between her teeth before hopping onto the counter, and wrapping her legs around his torso.
The smile spanned his entire face, genuine love and affection twinkling in his brown eyes as he ran his hands up and down the outside of her thighs, "I love that -"
"I love you..." she purred into his ear, biting down on the lobe before matching her gaze to his, taking her ringed hand and putting it into the mound of curly hair on the base of his scalp, causing him to moan in pleasure, and her to giggle to herself at how submissive he became with one touch.
"And?" Amy questioned after breaking away, her thoughts of them swimming freely, lips swollen as she ran her fingers through Adam's blonde locks, nails grazing his scalp; his figure becoming a spotty haze to her, being replaced by flashes of Ricky.
Adam moaned against her neck, eyes fluttering as he discreetly tugged on the crotch of his ripped jeans, "I need a minute..."
"M-m-mommyyy!" The screaming came from the bedroom, his broken heart spilling out with each hiccupping shriek.
"John!" She yelled, pushing on the door and banging her palm against it, "Please open the door, John. Please?"
Without warning the other door opened and Ricky entered, his face filled with confusion and something she couldn't place. "What is going on?" He questioned, removing his jacket in a haste, gesturing towards the infant who whimpered from the playpen, "Why is she still up?" They were both silent, biting their lip, and glancing at the floor.
His brow furrowed when he heard the wailing from the other room, quickly rushing over to the closed door and jiggling the knob with no luck, "Somebody start talking - why is John so upset?"
Taking a step closer, Kathy sighed under her breath, "John was having a meltdown, and... and I thought maybe talking to Amy would calm him down..."
"You what?"
Ethan shook his head, stepping in front of her, "It was my idea, kid wouldn't stop asking. I didn't know she would react the way she did."
Jiggling the knob again, brow knitted, "What do you mean? What did she say?"
"She didn't call you?" Ricky's silence being his answer, Ethan continued, "Well she answered, and they talked for about 5 minutes... but then she hung up and refused to answer... until she finally did and told him to stop calling."
Kathy's shoulders slumped, eyes low in guilt, "I'm really sorry, I -" A loud horn sounded from the parking lot, causing the infant to start crying, "That's my grandmother - I'll just -" Nodding, Ricky pushed away from the door after another unsuccessful attempt, and walked over to Emma, bringing her into his embrace.
Grabbing her purse, Kathy slipped out the door, unknowing that whenever she closed it, the lock stuck and didn't click.
Quietly, John made his way out, careful in taking small steps to not be caught by his dad and his uncle talking in the kitchen. Poking one slippered foot out, he glanced back quickly and maneuvered through the slit, closing it quietly behind him, the lock not clicking for a second time. Breathing quickly through his nose, he skipped down the short hallway and down the steps, sing-songing, "I'm go-in see mommy, I'm go-in see mommy!"
Jostling his daughter, Ricky pinched the bridge of his nose, "Amy actually said this? For John to stop calling her?"
Ethan unstuffed his hands in his pockets, taking the baby from him, "Yeah. Kid isn't taking it well"
"Where is he?"
"He won't talk to anyone."
"I'll talk to him. He'll talk to me." He made his way to the door again, surprised to see it open, and stopping in front of it, "Why did you ever think that calling her would be helpful, especially given the last few weeks?"
Shrugging, Ethan shifted Emma's weight from his right arm to his left, wincing at her loud whine in in his ear, "I had to do something - he's out of control!"
Pursing his lips, Ricky opened and closed his mouth before putting his hands out, accepting the baby as she sprung for him, "C'mere, Emma, let's get you to bed."
Disappearing behind the wall, Ethan pulled out his phone, almost dropping it when he heard Ricky call out, "Ethan... what time did you put John to bed?"
The flux in his brothers voice caused him to raise a brow, scooting closer to the bookshelf, hollering back, "A few minutes before you got here, why?"
It was silent before Ricky flew out of the bedroom, sheer terror in his face and tears in his eyes, "He's not here! ETHAN JOHN'S NOT HERE!"
Fisting his dark blue t-shirt by the collar, she giggled into his kiss, throwing her head back as they reached the purple door and pushed against it with their bodies, not noticing that it was already open until someone cleared their throat rather loudly.
Amy's eyes widened in shock, "Mom? What are you doing here?"
Anne tapped her nails against her forearm, pursing her lips and looking at her watch, "I've been here for two hours, waiting for you - where were you? We always go out for your birthday -" Adam looked up to meet her eyes, and her eyes told him to look back down as she scoffed, "Oh... I see."
Sucking in a breath, Amy squinted in slight embarrassment, scratching the back of her head, "Adam... you remember my mom?" His two finger wave none too pleasing to either of them. "Mom - Ad -"
"Yeah I got it!" She interjected, putting her hand up to prevent her from speaking further, hands on her hips as she set her glare on the rings in his lip, "Could you give me and Amy the room please? I'd like to speak with my daughter - privately."
Adam raised both brows and stuffed his hands into his pockets, not knowing how to respond, mumbling, "I'll call you later?"
Amy's subtle head nod sent him out the door as she heard him chuckle under his breath.
"Seriously?" Anne challenged, rolling her eyes at her daughters choices
She rolled her eyes back, crossing her arms across her chest, "You needed something?"
"Any luck?" Ricky popped his head up from the floor, tossing over every visible thing he could hide under
Ethan gulped, spinning in a circle, "He's not hiding anywhere inside this apartment -"
"He's not with Kathy either -" Ricky choked, gripping the roots of his hair and tossing a pile of mail, a plate, and a bowl to the floor, before grabbing the back of the kitchen chair and slamming it against the cabinets, "YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB, ETHAN!" He raged, throwing another plate to the floor with a sickening shatter, fighting from destroying everything in the apartment.
"DUDE!" Ethan screamed, rushing over to the baby screaming at the top of her lungs in terror.
Trying to see through his burning eyes, Ricky's heart shattered and he dropped to his knees, weeping into his hands.
A loud, familiar alarm rung out from downstairs - the same alarm used on the butchershops main entrance.
Without a second thought, Ricky scrambled to his feet and tripped through the door, brushing himself off before racing down the stairs, "JOHN!" The alarm kept ringing. "JOHN! JOHN WHERE ARE YOU?!" Looking quickly behind the counter before moving on to the tables and the shelves, he heard it.
"D-d-da-dyyyy!" His shrieks carried through the glass, his small hands gripping his head tightly to shield his ears.
"JOHN!" He screamed, punching in the code and throwing open the door before grabbing onto the front of his shirt so tightly he thought he heard it rip.
"Da-da-de-eeeee!" John slobbered almost inaudibly, collapsing into his dad's chest
"What on earth - John, you scared me to death!" Grasping onto his shuttering frame, Ricky kissed his head repeatedly, letting his tears fall into his shaggy locks, "Don't you EVER do that again!" John continued to sputter and shake, his small hands locking themselves into the fibers of Ricky's shirt. Running his hand over John's head, Ricky finally choked out, "Why did you leave the apartment, buddy?"
It got relatively quiet, John's breathing slowly starting to even out, but what fell from his lips a moment before he started to choke on his cries again, tore the last few threads of Ricky's heart completely open.
John's eyes squinted and with a hiccupping breath he sobbed, "M-m-mommyyy!"
"You're serious? 3 bedrooms, and you want us all to live in it?" Her mouth was agape, enthused by pictures and the idea of what her mother was proposing
Taking the phone back, Anne tapped another button, "Why not? I'm thinking about opening up a smaller store here anyway, and this way you and your children would be together - you could spend more time with John and Emma, and still go to school, and I'll have Robbie here too so they can occupy each other."
Amy twirled on her boot heel excitedly, palms clasped together, "I would like nothing more than to be able to spend time with Emma and John again!" Her smile started turning down, picking at her thumbnail the way she often did when something was about to upset her, "but mom... I just got to school here. I just got on common ground with Adam..."
"Excuse me if I'm not sympathetic to your hopping around with another guy after ending your other relationship, Amy..." She retorted rather harshly, having no sympathy for her daughters woe-is-me attitude, "This will be good for all of us - Ricky included. Talk to him, Amy. Talk to him and see what he has to say." She bit her lip apprehensively as a response, prompting a glare from her mother.
The door opened slowly, both of them stepping inside. "John!" Ethan squeaked, covering it by coughing and deepening his voice, "Hey... little dude..."
Chuckling lightly, "I'm going to put him to bed, and then I'll take her -"
"Already did that -" peering into the playpen at the passed out baby sucking her thumb, "your baby is a huge drooler," Pointing as he grabbed his backpack and stretched, "Margaret is downstairs -"
Waving his hand to dismiss him Ricky turned slowly, eyes glassy, "Thank you, Ethan. I mean that."
"And then Prince John slew the dragon and rescued Princess Emma from the crib of doom and Princess Amy from the bad school, and the whole town cheered and clapped that Prince John had saved the day! Shouting how much they loved him!" Ricky cheered through a whisper, admiring the way John's small chest rose and fell while his lips puckered slightly in his sleep - something he got from Amy.
That same pain shot through, sharper this time.
"I got your message... is he okay?" His footing stopped suddenly, breathing increasing slightly at the sight of him nestled in her arms, her sniffling figure turning to shield him from seeing her swipe the tears from her cheeks, "Amy...?"
"I'm fine..." she squeaked, careful in her movements and breaths not to wake him, "I don't - I don't know why I called... I was -" She sniffled again, "It was a mistake... sorry"
He put his hand between her shoulder blades gently, feeling the tension she was carrying, "It's not a mistake," Sighing, "I'm here Amy. You know that. Talk to me..."
It took a few seconds, and a few more sniffles, before Amy turned slowly to face him, their son pressed against her chest, his small fingers twitching. It made them both smile at each other for a brief second before their eyes shifted.
"I said I'm fine. Okay? I'm just... tired." She muttered, but Ricky could tell by the strain in her voice that it wasn't the lack of sleep upsetting her. It was something else...something that she didn't want to tell him for whatever reason. Her change in mood caused John to stir, his fussy whines against her shoulder, making her sigh through tears.
"Hey little guy," Ricky cooed, opening his palms quickly, and taking the baby from her. He was still dazed, his little eyes watery and blinking rapidly. Ricky's lip tipped up when John carefully laid his tiny head on his shoulder, putting his palm on it as he petted the back of the light brown hair starting to grow on the back of his scalp.
Taking in the sight, Amy couldn't help but offer a small tired smile: silently thankful that the boy who broke her heart, was able to send a flutter through it whenever they were all together. Ricky must have caught her staring because the smirk came back to his face, but instead of being cocky, he lightly grazed the side of her right hand with his fingertips, and whispered with genuine concern, "whatever Ben did - or didn't do - It's going to be fine. You're gonna be fine."
Slightly caught off by his statement, she drew back quickly, putting her fingers to her temples as she started to get flustered and stutter through her sniffling, "I-is i-it? W-what if - what if he - he d-does s-something?"
"He won't!"
"How do you know that?" She looked away, but he saw her lips still moving, the faint way she mumbled "you did..." under her breath, thinking he couldn't hear it, sent a pain he'd never felt before through his chest.
Ricky sighed, jaw twitching as he adjusted the barely 5-month-old against him, his eyes shifting away from hers as he muttered, "because he's not me, Amy. He loves you - he wouldn't hurt you like that." His voice was starting to crack, fighting desperately against the emotion welling up behind his eyes, "not like I did..." John hiccupped against his shoulder, bringing her stare to him. Amy gulped in a breath, slowly nodding in agreement, grazing her nails lightly across the small of John's back. Ricky swallowed the lump in his throat at her nod, biting the inside of his cheek, "Go get some sleep, I got him"
She nodded again, wiping her cheeks with each footstep towards the door. "Ricky?" She paused, leaning against the frame.
"Hmm?" He answered, swaying their baby gently
"Thank you...for being here for... h-him...I can tell you really love him..."
His lip tipped up "I do... and I - I care about you too, Amy... I mean that. I know I haven't always shown it... but I'll always care about you." He could see in her eyes that she felt what he did, but also knew that she was still so fragile, and angry.
"We - He... he appreciates it," She pushed her bangs back from her face, and gave a quick nod, "just um- just wake me up if he wakes up?" Their eyes locked again for a split second before she turned and walked out of the room.
The way her glassy eyes silently pleaded into his, made his chest tighten; the memory transforming to an older them, now inside the bedroom of their shared apartment: those same glassy eyes piercing through him as she cried over their son's bed.
"What if I -" She shook her head, fighting the words she knew she needed to say, gulping in air as she choked, "W-what i-if - if I - I don't m-make i-it? What then?"
They'd just gotten back from a late day appointment after a small scare sent her into overdrive: her calmness about their situation being thrust on her the month prior, being replaced by extreme anxiety and worry. So much so, she declined the opportunity to find out the sex of their unborn child.
"It won't. You're going to make it through this, Ames."
"H-how do you k-know?"
"Because I know..." Ricky took in a deep breath, holding back his own tears, as he held her, "I know - and he knows -" Pointing to their sleeping son nestled under his covers, "that you love him. And your love for him, and for this little one..." his voice lowered, cradling her bump, "that love - that bond... can never be broken. Ever. Even if something does -"
"Promise me you'll take care of him. Don't let him forget me..."
Nodding slowly, he grasped onto her shuttering shoulders tightly, pressing his face into her shoulder, both scared to let go. He was crying now, the tears sliding down his cheeks, "If you do - you'll always be here. Always. In his smile, in his laugh, in the way his eyes twinkle in the sunlight. He is you, Amy. Nothing can ever change that."
"I'm so scared, Ricky..." The whisper was barely a squeak, shielded by her sobbing into his chest.
"I know, Amy" Placing light kisses on her hair repeatedly, "I am too," his eyes shifting to the small toddler grasping onto the raggedy teddy bear.
Momentarily shifting his gaze, Ricky sucked in a small breath before tipping his lip at the sound of his snoring. "Goodnight, Prince John..." he stood, leaning down to lay his palm on the crown of his head before replacing it with his lips, "We love you, buddy"
Taking the cushions off the sofa, he glanced over at the playpen - the fact that Emma was still sleeping surprised him, making him chuckle quietly.
A loud vibration shook across the table, the leather jacket he was wearing slowly starting to drop with each buzz against the wood. Not bothering to look until it was in his grasp, he shoved his tongue into his cheek and shook his head.
"You're honestly the last person I want to hear from tonight!" He growled, pressing it further against his ear, frustrated.
Her response was delayed, caught off by his snappy-ness, "Ouch. What's your problem?"
"Really Amy? My problem? My problem is you, and what you did to John tonight!"
"I'm not happy with how I handled that either. I'm sorry." He thought he heard her sniffle, "He just caught me off guard and I... snapped... I didn't mean to hurt his feelings." The crack in her voice caused him to swallow. "But... that's not why I called... I wanted to talk to you about something - something my mom came tome about tonight -"
"Whatever it is - no. Nothing that involves your mother is ever good, Amy."
"Just... hear me out please?" Amy pleaded through a sigh, "Okay, my mom found an apartment. It's big enough for us to live in, or stay in when you guys come up here whenever." Taking a breath, "I can see John and Emma freely without having to deal with my roommate, or scheduling a hotel -"
"Have you ever scheduled a hotel?" His sneer earned him a scoff, knowing her eyebrows were knitted together
"Well no, not yet... but I was going to soon -" She paused, fiddling with some kind of wrapper, "That's why this works out. If my mom can get this apartment, and I can move off campus, then I'll be able to help you out by taking them a couple of weeks at a time - you can even come up on the weekends if you want!"
"I have a job, Amy, remember I work on the weekends? And besides I have a class 2 days a week - I can't just drop my life and deliver our children to you whenever you feel like being there."
"Okay... well I just wanted to run it by you tonight so you can just think about it. Just think it over, that's all I ask."
He didn't know if it was just the events of the day, or simply hearing the control in her voice that drove him to start spewing his venom, but he didn't care - she deserved to hear it. "How about you think about this - you left me behind to pursue a life in New York that was kid-free so you could live out the years you missed in highschool. And in doing this, you not only managed to shatter me, and my life, but also that of our two small children - who unlike me, doesn't understand why you left. They don't understand why mommy hasn't came back, or why mommy won't pick up her phone."
He was pacing, grasping the roots of his hair, trying desperately to keep his temper in check, "John just wanted to talk to you because he's had a bad week... but you couldn't pull yourself away for 30 freaking minutes to have a meaningful conversation with your son! You deduced his time to fit yours, and in doing so you hurt him!"
The rise of volume in his voice caused the infant to jerk in her sleep, and him to close his eyes in guilt and shame but kept going, "So no, Amy. I'm not going to sit here and think about alternating our children between two states for weeks at a time, to fulfill your mother's hidden agenda! When it was her that got us in this mess in the first place!"
It was silent between them for all of four seconds before Amy growled back, "I don't know why I called you - I knew you were going to react like this!"
Not being able to hold back, Ricky grabbed a pillow from the sofa and shook it with one hand, seeing the small fragments of his earlier breakdown, "Until you look at John's tearstained cheeks every night as he cries for his mother, I'll be as pissed as I want to be!" He was fuming, throwing the pillow across the room, "I'll move on, Amy. I'll move on from you and learn to be okay, but Emma and John? Well... at least they'll have me. They'll have their father to wipe their tears and kiss them goodnight!"
Clicking the button and hanging up abruptly, he took short breaths through his nose before throwing the device against the sofa cushion and grabbing the pillow again, hugging it to his chest as he let himself cry against it silently.
Tissue... Anyone? Stay tuned!