Hello everyone, long time no see! Well at least it feels like that anyway - Covid lockdown felt like an eternity! The bright side was that I got to watch alot of movies. Everyone check out After, After We Collided, After We Fell, Purple Hearts, Chemical Hearts and Look Both Ways (just to name a select great few haha)
This chapter took ALOT of work! Aside from a few chapters of YFMH, I do believe this is the LONGEST chapter I've written to date! Over 30 scenes, and 20K words! It was a struggle not to break it up into two separate pieces, but I decided to keep it all together. Plus it has alot of information to keep track of for the chapters to come.
On another note, I just wanted to recommend a new Secret Life rewatch Podcast I have recently found called "Please Don't Make Me Watch This" It. Is. Hysterical! Finally someone puts the frustration of this show into words that I can agree with! Oh and I've also finished my rewatch... 9 years later and I'm still upset about the last season.
I've complied a Playlist for this story and the previous one on Spotify that I will link below at the end AN to keep up with the chapters as we go along.
Enough rambling from me. Enjoy!
"Hwere is you-r eggs, John!" Trevor happily declared, handing the plastic pieces over to him
Taking a seat with his pretend meal, John put them to his mouth, "Mmm, c-an I jus hav sum to-ast too?"
"Here, you c-an hav mine!" Lilly smiled, putting a plastic brick on his plate. She did the same to her pretend meal, beaming at the way his hand touched hers. He cocked his head slightly, squinting his eyes with his dad's smirk on his face.
Bouncing up from behind the pint sized kitchen, Trevor took off the apron he had on, piling the pieces into the designated container before turning back to his friends, "L-ets play hw-ouse now?"
Lilly stood from her chair, looking between the two boys before shrugging her shoulders, "Ok! Tw-evor you c-an jus be the daddy, John c-an be the mommy, an-d I will jus be the bay-be!"
Trevor stood up further, his small brow knitted together as he shouted, "No! John c-an't be a mommy! Boys c-an't be mommy's!"
"Uh huh!" Lilly shot back, placing her hands on her small flower dress covered hips.
"Nuh uh!" He continued, pointing to him, "Lilly, John c-an't be a mommy cuz he don't have a mommy ne-more!"
John's eyes widened, brow furrowing in agitation, "Yes, I do!"
"Nuh uh! My mommy jus s-ed you-r mommy runn-ed a-way!"
Lilly's lips pursed, "Tw-evor, s-top it!"
"My mommy is at a big sk-ool!" John shouted back, standing toe-to-toe with his friend, his breathing starting to quicken
Trevor shook his head passionately, provoking the situation as he stuck his small finger against Johns red polo shirt, "Nuh uh, you-r mommy runn-ed a-way! You-r mommy jus do-n't luv you ne-more!" The boy started to snort, not at all expecting the little boy who often cowered, to stand square up to him, and shove him to the ground - hard.
"Owwww!" Trevor yelped, holding the back of his head that landed on the scattered pieces of plastic food. John stood firm, planting his feet as he raged, and watched his friend cry, "John is mean!" Standing up, Trevor took a discarded block from the floor, and threw it, hitting him square in the side of the head.
"Owwww!" John sobbed, holding the side of his head, his mouth agape as he sniffled through the pain. Lilly was horrified, quickly ushering to his aid, which only made Trevor more angery as he walked up to him and pinched his arm. John drew back quickly, letting out a loud yelp before flipping that emotional switch inside him, practically leaping forward to tackle Trevor. He was still crying, but also seeing red as he started hitting the boy, slamming his small closed fists hard on whatever body part would take the blows.
"S-top it! S-top!" Lilly cried, grasping her dress as she watched her friends fight. Trevor was shrieking as John wrapped his hands around his arm and twisted. She couldn't handle anymore and ran to go get one of the teachers.
Trevor got the upper hand when John turned his head, grabbing at the upper part of his forearm, and dragging his nails down it, causing John to scream.
"Boys! Boys stop!" Ms. Taylor shouted, sprinting into the room quickly, and removing John from Trevor's grasp. "John!" She scolded, putting her hands on his shoulders as they shook.
"Da-de-eeeee!" John slobbered, holding his hand over the spot on his cheek that was throbbing - a small spot showing the bruise.
Trevor rolled over onto his side, drawing his knees into his chest, "I want my mommmyyyyy!"
"You've been staring at those cards for at least 10 minutes now," She chuckled, slipping her arms around his waist, "Wanna tell me what they say?"
"No way," he smirked, leaning his head back a little to catch a glimpse of her pout before flipping the cards over on the countertop, "you'll just have to wait to hear with everybody else"
Her eyes dropped slightly, puffing her bottom lip out, "pleaseeeee" she whined, the same way their son did when he wanted something. His smirk got bigger, shaking his head at her before removing her hands from his waist, turning to lean into her; pressing his lips to hers.
Reciprocating, Amy closed her eyes, fingers immediately going through the hair by his ears.
Pushing himself further against her, she moaned into his mouth, her black yoga pants brushing up against the cool metal of the kitchen chair.
Moving it aside, without breaking contact, her back started to bend back, laying flat against the kitchen table.
Chuckling against her lips, Ricky leaned forward, breaking from her mouth to nurse her neck; one palm flat on the marble, while the other kept a firm grip on her backside.
"Ricky..." She moaned his name, tugging on the waistband of his jeans with her fingertips - feeling him as she drug the gold zipper down slowly.
Teasing. She knew exactly how to do it. How to get him under her spell in a single, tantalizing, touch. She wanted to hear that speech, and he knew that was why she was throwing herself at him like this. And, as much as he wanted to call her out, and tease her for trying so hard, he also loved watching her squirm in her own game. And beat her at it.
"Ames -" He paused, both knowing full well that if her fingers brushed the fabric of his jeans one more time, he'd never make it to the bed.
She giggled at the small squeak in his voice, "You're so sensitive..." Biting her lip affectionately, her eyes glued to to his. His filled with a mixture of love and lust as he took her hand to help her lean forward, before attacking her lips with his again, and lifting her onto his waist. She wrapped her legs tight around him, the six steps to the bed feeling like an eternity before landing on the sheets with a small, but audible, thud.
Wasting no time, his hands rooted blindly for the purple box hidden inside the nightstand - unable to hold back his intense desire to make love to her. The way her lips molded against his, while her nails grazed his back as they pushed his shirt up, sent a tingle up his spine. The kind of tingle he got whenever she touched him; Whenever she looked at him with those deep brown eyes; Whenever she was just in his presence.
He loved her, more than anything else in the world.
And she would soon know just how much, as those blue note cards lay facedown: their words containing the question he was fighting so desperately not to just blurt out as she bit the bottom of lip and drug it lightly with her teeth - knowing it drove him crazy.
His grip tightened on her hips, causing her to moan his name again, "Ricky..."
"Ricky!" A shout followed by a snap to get his attention, "You've been staring at that card for a good five minutes." She stated, moving the cup in her hand under his chin. He didn't flinch, keeping his gaze on the green note cards in his grasp. She sighed, moving the cup further towards him, "Oh come on, you can't still be upset about last week, can you?"
He rolled his eyes, knowing that if he continued ignoring her, she'd never take the hint and go away, so he lifted his head slightly, "You took it upon yourself to stay in my apartment without my knowledge - thus causing my mother and three-year-old to have to go back to my mother's apartment, 20 minutes away, in the middle of the night - Yeah, I'm still upset." Placing the note cards on the table by the textbook, "I'd been at the hospital all night trying to calm a baby with an ear infection, and then I had to deal with that fiasco - and Bunny!"
Clementine slunk back against the chair, "I was just trying to help, I'm sor -" The drum beat chiming of his phone stopping her, and annoying her as he wasted no time in attending to it, "Okay, seriously, can you not ignore that thing for one second while I'm trying to talk to you?"
Ricky's brow furrowed, "It's the nursery..." Putting it to his ear, his face contorted in worry, "Well how did it happen? Is he hurt?" Standing quickly, he shoved the phone between his cheek and shoulder, grabbing up all his things in a haste, "Yeah, I'm on my way..."
She touched his arm to keep him from storming away, "Is everything okay?"
"Not really. John and his friend got into a fight, and apparently he got an injury... I have to go."
"Okay, well I hope he's alright. I'll call you later?"
Rushing through the entrance, "Where is he? Is he okay?" He could feel the panic start to creep in.
Alyssa nodded slowly, pointing down the hallway, "He's in timeout, trying to calm himself down. He's fine, just a little bruise on his cheek and a couple scratches." Ricky released the breath he was holding in, nodding in understanding.
"Ricky? Can I speak with you a second?" A woman asked from the other side of the hallway. He recognized her as Ms. Tiffany, the daycare director. She wasn't around much when he came there, but according to Amy, she was someone who you didn't want to cross. So why did she want to see him?
His palms were starting to get sweaty as he took the 10 steps to her office slowly, "If this is about John - I don't fault my son for defending himself -"
She put a hand up, "Please, take a seat." Obeying, he braced the arm rests, unprepared for whatever she had to say. She pursed her lips at him, "John and Trevor got into an altercation during playtime, according to Lilly, Trevor provoked John by stating that John no longer had a mommy because her ran away -" His eyes widened, catching her attention, "And before you say anything, yes, I agree, Trevor should have never stated such things to John -" Tapping her nails, "however, John's response was inappropriate as well."
Ricky's brow furrowed, "So some kid tells my kid something he probably heard from his parents, and my kid gets in trouble? How does that make any sense? The other kid started it! He provoked my son, what was John supposed to do? Just take it? No!"
Nodding, she put her hands flat on the desk, "I understand your frustration - the incident should have been handled differently, I agree. But regardless of Trevor's words, John was the aggressor. John put his hands on Trevor, and John pushed Trevor to the ground. Trevor then threw a block at John - thus the bruise - before both boys started attacking each other..." She watched him put his tongue to his cheek, taking in her words, "Ricky... there is really no easy way to put this..."
"Put what? What are you kicking him out for the day again or something?" The statement was meant to be sarcastic, his hands running over the arm rests of the chair.
Tiffany's eyes cut down, a look he recognized all too well coming across her face, "No... not exactly..." Sighing, she drew back in her chair slightly, "Ricky, John has been expelled from our facility - effective immediately."
Unprepared for those words , his eyes widened quickly, his palms starting to sweat again, "For getting into one little fight?"
"No, not just one." She stated roughly, "John is very special to us, you know that, we love him, but...We have a 3-strike policy. Three strikes and that's it. John has far exceeded that. All the timeouts, the bad words, hitting, kicking, throwing things, tantrums... We have to put a stop to it - Other parents are starting to voice complaints."
"About a three-year-old throwing a tantrum once and a while?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"About the danger they feel John poses to those around him... Many parents have voiced withdrawing their children from the facility, due to John's out of control temperament."
Ricky opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, pinching the bridge of his nose and expelling air from his cheeks, "The therapist we saw said John is having difficulty processing his emotions...When Amy left, it's like a switch turned inside him. Even the mention of her name can set him off..." He sniffled softly, refusing to allow this woman to see him start to break. Her eyes were enough: the look of pity written in them. "Where is John? I want to see my son"
"He's with Ms. Taylor, they're doing some of those deep breathing exercises." Taking out a file folder from a drawer, Tiffany put it flat on the desk, "While I have you in here... should we talk about Emma?"
His brow rose slightly, confused, "What about Emma? Emma isn't getting expelled for drooling on another baby too, is she?"
She pursed her lips again, "... not exactly... but we do need to discuss continuing care for her here." Flipping some pages through the file, "As you know, budget cuts have caused us to have to make some changes: the recent guidelines regarding teacher to child ratio one of them, being as how we've had to decrease our intake of children, and increase rates..."
"I think I see where this is going..." He sighed, closing his eyes at what he already knew.
"Amy is no longer employed here... that's just a fact. Even though she never put in her declaration, her termination is on record..." Closing the folder, "I wholeheartedly respect you, and admire what you're doing - John and Emma are so lucky to have you... but -"
His eyes lifted, twiddling his thumbs as a distraction, sighing again, "But... you're telling me that you can no longer provide Emma with care for free anymore, right?"
"I wish I didn't have to do this. But at the end of the day we are a business, and businesses can't maintain just on love for their work." It was silent for a few seconds, watching as the young man just kept nodding slowly, unknowing what to say. "Do you want to set something up? A payment plan, or scheduled days?"
"I appreciate it, but no. I'll figure something out." He stated bluntly, slowly rising from the chair, "I appreciate everything you, and this place have done for us over the years - it truly amazes me you've allowed them to stay this long..." His voice was starting to crack, the emotion slowly starting to creep in, "I'll go collect them, and we'll be out of here."
"Alyssa has John ready..." She replied, a little bit of sadness laced in her tone, "I'm truly sorry about this, Ricky. If there was any other way -"
"I know" He cut her off, fighting desperately against the lump in his throat as he squeaked out "Thank you," and walked down the hallway.
"Daddy!" John piped, standing by the front entrance door with Alyssa's hands on his shoulders. Ricky gave him a small smile. "Aw-re we jus go-in h-ome?"
Alyssa had sadness in her eyes, as they met his, and he nodded at the boy, "Why don't you say bye to your little friends, and all the nice ladies here, while I go get Emma, okay?" John cocked his head in confusion, but shrugged it off and did as he was told, hugging onto Alyssa tightly.
"You have to walk around the place until he's used to it and then you have to put him in the bed - you don't know which bed" Ricky mocked her frustratingly under his breath, carefully removing the car seat from it's base with the fussy baby inside it. John had cried the entire way to the place, making him question if it was the car ride he hated, or being away from Amy that made him so upset.
"What's the matter, little guy?" He asked, pitching his voice and running his finger over his small closed fist as they made the short walk to the front entrance.
His eyes scanned the door, not noticing the black doorbell device attached to the side. When a buzzer sounded and a lock clicked, he momentarily became startled before stepping inside the facility.
A stout girl with dark brown hair and glasses met him there, the smile spanning her entire round face as she bounced on the brightly colored carpeting, and bent down to see the baby, "Hiii, John!"
John's little coo as a response, caused Ricky's lip to tip up slightly, proud of his little boy. The smile started to turn, the woman's face contorting in an expression that held confusion, and worry as she asked, "And who might you be?"
Her eyes were accusatory, scanning him as he quickly responded, "Ricky - John's father..." Pursing his lips, "Amy Juergens sent me to drop him off, she was running late -"
Another lady stepped out from behind a door, her smile not as big, but still showing, "Anne called us - go on in, Ricky" She waved her hands forward, holding the door open for them with her left hand, "his bed is on the right"
Giving the the woman a small silent nod, he quickly booked it into the room, eyes wide in amazement at the brightly colored room with elephants and giraffes pained on the faded blue and yellow walls. He was out of his element; the outsider being stared at by women holding small crying, infants - their eyes slightly judgy behind their pitched voices and small smiles.
Wasting no time as his own son began to cry, Ricky put the carrier on the floor, getting down on one knee to unstrap, and lift him out and into his arms. Adjusting John against his shoulder, he gently bounced him, walking around the room in slow strides, making shushing noises with his mouth as the tiny baby started to settle; his small eyes wandering around the space. "All better now?" Ricky chuckled, stopping at the second to last bed on the right side of the wall: the blue blanket draped over it's white structure along with a whale themed mobile spinning freely above. Laying John flat, he winced slightly at the wail that erupted; his small little arms and legs drawing up as he let the room know of his displeasure.
One of the ladies in the room stood, walking over to him quickly, as Ricky put his hands inside to pick John back up. She put a hand to his arm gently, stilling him. "He's okay - probably just hungry." She was watching his face, but her eyes weren't filled with judgement - instead they were soft, and caring.
He took his hands out, stuffing them into his pockets, unknowing exactly what to do when the small little baby's cries got louder. "Do you have his bottle?" She asked, running her hand over his son's small covered stomach. Nodding, he took three steps backwards, scooping it from one of the many pockets, and handing it to her. She smiled at him again, shaking the bottle twice before putting it inside the crib and lifting John into her arms, putting it to his lips. Ricky's lip twitched, watching with admiration at his son's eager little gulps; his small fists stretching with each sip. He couldn't look away - mesmerized at the being he created with Amy Juergens.
His footsteps were slow, not wanting to inadvertently wake any of the infants if they were napping, as he stood in the doorway.
One of the younger women, Jess, raised her head at the sound of his shoes, "Oh - hi, I wasn't expecting you" She had Emma in her arms, rocking them both back and forth with the help of her pink Converse sneakers. The little girl's eyes sprung open, whining the instant he was in her sight.
Ricky shot Emma the same small smile, "Would you mind gathering up her things for me? I've gotta get going."
The sneakers stopped moving, Jess' brow rising slightly, "Okay, well I was just putting her down for a nap - if you wanted to come back a little later?" Adjusting the baby now determined to get out of her grasp as Emma squirmed and bucked against her lap and outstretched her arms to him, Jess looked to one of the other girls in the room.
He shook his head, "It's fine. Just... please gather her things"
"Bye, John! Bye Emma!" Alyssa waved sweetly, holding a large white trash bag out to him. Taking it, Ricky grabbed John's hand, and adjusted Emma against his hip, ready to walk out the black doors for the last time.
Lilly ran up quickly, throwing her arms around her bestfriend since infancy, "Byeee John! I'll m-iss you!"
Reciprocating, John wrapped his small arms tight around her, "Bye Lil-ly!" The sight caused Ricky to smile, thankful for the bubbly little blonde girl who always had his son's back. It hurt him to have to see them be apart - yet another person his son was unfairly being pulled from.
"Wow, this is incredible!" She squealed, eyes widening as she took in the space around her; the chandelier above the dining area glistening against the light.
"Told you - it's even better than the pictures. Perfect for all our needs" Anne beamed, raising her left index finger to Donovan, circling it in the air as she spoke, "I was thinking bunk beds for the boys on the far left wall..."
"Whatcha looking at?" He asked quietly, stepping back into the semi-lit Livingroom
Startled, she quickly closed the laptop, drawing back, "Nothing -"
His brow raised, smirking as he climbed on to his side of the sofa bed, "Well for nothing you're certainly hiding it suspiciously - you looking at porn or something?"
Her mouth went agape, eyes enlarging, and shoving him on the shoulder, "Ricky! Ew, gross! No!"
Ricky chuckled, amused with himself before taking the computer from her outstretched hand. Lifting the lid, his brow furrowed, "Apartments? What's this for?"
Amy sighed, shifting her weight to sit more comfortably - or as comfortable as she could with the large bowling ball under her shirt, her voice soft, "I've just been thinking with the baby coming... maybe it's time we look for something... something that can accommodate our growing family"
His eyes snapped up to look at hers, "Amy we have a free apartment - everything we need is right here."
"I know that, but -"
"But what? We can't just leave this place because it might be a little crowded. We can't afford anything as it is, and our incomes combined aren't going to cover rent, utilities, diapers, and all the other things." He closed the laptop a little rougher than he had intended, before looking at her again and letting out a deep sigh, "I know you're miserable now, but I promise we'll have a good place after we graduate college."
"I'm not miserable... just a little cramped is all." She ran her hand through her hair, accepting his invitation to lay on his chest. "I'm not saying we have to look into anything now, I was just looking - that's all"
He pursed his lips, grazing her arm with his fingertips, "Tell ya what, in 5 years when John is 7 or 8, and our newest one is 5, and we've graduated college and have better jobs, then you can pick out whatever you want. Any apartment or condo within a budget. Okay?"
She tilted her head back, smiling tiredly as he leaned forward to press his lips against hers before opening the device again, draping her left arm above her, fiddling with the curls at the nape of his neck. With her right hand, she clicked a button, "Look at these countertops - I just love the marble back splash behind them!" Pouting a little as she sifted through the other 6 photos displayed, she heard him giggle under his breath.
"5 years - promise." He rubbed her protruding stomach gently, pecking her temple when he felt their child moving around inside her.
Nodding, she put her hand over his, smiling sweetly at his wedding ring clinking against her own - thankful for the life she had. Thankful that the boy who broke her heart those few years ago, was now laying on their bed, with her; his hand sporting a golden band that let the world - and her - know that he was hers forever. And she was his. And they were happy. Very very happy. "5 years."
"Amy!" Her shout broke her of the warm memory, the unknown tears running down her face as she turned to answer, "Sorry, what?"
Anne wasn't paying attention to her, just shouting from the other side of the room, "I said come check out the kitchen again before we go." Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Amy nodded slowly and took a few steps forward, her mother mindlessly tapping her newly manicured nails against the countertop as she squinted at Donovan, "So the backsplash is marble like the counters?"
"You've reached Margaret, I'm not available right now, but leave a message!" Her voicemail chimed out, as he pressed the device to his ear, barreling down the long sidewalk in a haste.
George was next, "Hey baby, leave me something sexy and I'll call you back..." his brow lifting and face contorting in cringe at his ex-father-in-laws rather suggestive message.
He tried again knowing it sometimes took him a few tries to actually answer, with the same result "Come on George, pick up!"
John could see the look on his face, as he tried to hide his teary eyes. "Daddy -" He squeaked, reaching out to touch his leather jacket clad arm.
Putting his finger up at him for just a moment, Ricky spoke quickly into the device, "Hey, It's me -" shutting the door, and sprinting to the other side, "I need to talk to you about some things..."
"Daddy!" John shouted this time, shaking one of his sisters toys that she was reaching for while he buckled her in
"What time?" Ricky's brow furrowed, glancing at his watch, "Yeah I can do that... yeah, okay. I'll see you then."
"Daddy!"
"What John?" He finally answered, throwing the diaper bag to the floorboard in agitation
His feet were swinging back and forth, "C-an we jus go to th-e pw-ark?" The bag toppling over and spilling its contents must have caused a reaction because John watched as his dad's hands went to his hair and he took a deep breath through his nose as he sniffled. John reached out again, "Daddy..."
"I'm fine, John!" Ricky snapped roughly, immediately regretting it when he saw his son's eyes widen, and his lip pucker ever so slightly. Closing his eyes, he took another breath, reaching for the boys small hand, as he whispered through the tears gathering, "everything is going to be just fine..."
"Wh-ere is dis pw-ace, daddy?" He asked with curiosity, taking in the sight of the very tall building towering above him, and all the scenery that surrounded it.
Getting to the door, he shook the hand that was clasped in his own, "This is daddy's school." Pushing the doors open, he led them through the corridor, gently tugging him along a few times to keep up with his own footing.
Stopping at the door, Ricky exhaled, giving his son a stern glance before laying the car seat on the floor and bending to his level, taking both his hands, "Hey, look at me, please." He spoke softly, making sure to control his voice as he gave John clear instructions, "Before we go in there, you need to listen to me, okay? This is a very important test for daddy, and all the other people in there. You need to be a very good boy in there, understand? No whining, no loud noises, no tantrums - and don't wake up Emma, or bother any of the other people, okay? Can you do that for me?"
It took a few seconds of him moving his eyes in the way he did when he was contemplating obeying or not, before John nodded his head quickly. Ricky smiled, taking his hand in his again, "Good boy, let's go." Letting him give the door a shove, it popped open, the stares and the snickers coming with it as they made their way inside; the shy boy clinging to his hand for dear life as the eyes pierced him on what seemed like the never-ending walk to their destination. Ricky glanced around the full room, seeing the only available desk was up two steps and all the way to the left.
"Here, take mine." A girl right in front of him offered, shifting her belongings to her arms to give him the space. Her eyes shifted to the toddler, a small, sweet, smile coming to her face.
He caught it, smiling back at her, "Thanks" and taking the seat. Gently putting the carrier housing the sleeping baby on the floor, Ricky unzipped the backpack and took out a pencil, leaning to the left slightly to whisper into his son's ear as he played on the floor with a few Hot wheels cars, "Remember buddy, quiet, okay?"
Professor Rodriguez got up from her desk, circling the spot by the whiteboard that took up the largest majority of the wall, "Well guys, it's our last time together... please refrain from crying though - these floors get waxed tomorrow -" She joked, even getting a few chuckles, "all jokes aside, I hope you've learned something from being here. Even if it is something small - small steps lead to big strides in the future." Her eyes met his for a brief second, before he cut away and glanced down. "Any questions before we get started?"
A guy a few rows above him shot his hand up, giving Ricky a moment to gently scold the boy starting to make audible vroom vroom sounds with his mouth, causing him to snap his fingers quietly, "John... too loud..." His voice must have caught her attention because before he could even lean forward, she let out a whine, "Oh no..."
John's head snapped up, pointing at his baby sister starting to fight the restraints he knew hated, as he whispered, "Daddy - Em-ma!"
Thankfully another student raised their hand, giving Ricky a minute to think, "I got it, John, thank you. Please play quietly." Emma's whines started to raise in pitch, pulling at her left ear. He sighed, knowing that if he didn't act now, she'd let out a very disruptive shriek within the next few minutes. Quickly, he unsnapped the buckles and brought her out, putting her on his left knee, "Why now, huh?" He teased into her ear, pecking her temple. She whimpered, grabbing the pacifier clipped to her little baby jeans from her mouth, slamming her other palm against the table.
Making it through about 15 minutes of the test without incident, he sighed again as she started to fidget against his lap, bucking her legs like she often did when she wanted down to crawl around. Fighting against it, Ricky made quiet shushing noises with his mouth, hoping that John's assistance of hand feeding her a handful of baby puffs would curb Emma's desire to be dramatic and cause a scene.
It did not.
Getting restless, she started to squirm, pushing against him in an attempt to free herself from his one armed hold. He tightened it, upsetting her further as she started to whine, and outstretch her arms out towards her brother for help. John shook his head at her, taking her hand into his. Emma drew it back quickly, having enough as she let out a loud cry and in, her new way of acting on not getting what she wanted, swiped the remaining puffs off the desk and onto the floor.
"Em-ma, no!" John scolded her, quickly dropping to his knees to pick them up before his dad got upset because they made a mess. Not knowing what to do with the puffs, he just shrugged and put them inside the carrier.
The eyes were piercing: their stares, as the infant thrashed and caused a scene, enough to make Ricky want to crawl under the desk. Now he understood why Amy always voiced her displeasure with people. The judgement was overwhelming.
Rushing through the remainder of the page, dodging Emma's grabby hands from taking both the pencil, and the booklet, Ricky closed his eyes and hastily threw everything in the carrier by his feet, snapping his fingers at the boy to get up and follow him. Obeying, John gathered the three hot wheels cars into his grasp, and galloped behind him - his sister being carted by the waist in Ricky's left arm, while the right held the car seat and the blue booklet.
Putting the test packet in the bin, Ricky shook his head, holding back tears as Professor Rodriguez eye's met his again, and his daughter started in.
She reached for the exam, her voice low as she looked between the small boy, and the thrashing baby, "Can I see you after class?"
Ricky closed his eyes again, completely defeated. This was the last thing he wanted - to be summoned for being disruptive like some stupid junior high kid who couldn't control themselves. He saw her eyes scanning his children, no doubt the pity in them increasing.
Biting the tip of his bottom lip, he nodded at her request silently, before ushering them all out the door.
"He let you stay on the phone an extra hour after she woke up - shouldn't you be happy about that?" Lauren stated, blowing out a breath into the receiver, "Do you think you should really bring up this issue again? Didn't he hang up after you brought it up last week?"
Her eyes were focused on her shoes, taking a second before answering in a low voice, "He has to confront me eventually. And besides that my mom signs the papers on Sunday..." She sighed, raising off the bench she always sat on under the maple tree, "I have to know where we stand before -"
"Before you let your mother take him to court?" Lauren cut in, scoffing, "You know if she takes Ricky to court, she'll probably lose, right? A judge will see that he's been there, taking care of them the entire time... and you did leave willingly..."
Her response didn't sit well, "That shouldn't matter! They are still my children! They still need their mother!" Amy shouted, starting to pace, "I don't want my mom to take him to court, okay? That's why I've been pushing him so hard - I want us to deal with this ourselves without our parents getting involved. I don't want this to be like last time." Pausing, she blew out a breath, running a hand through her hair, "Is it so bad for me to hope that Ricky will just give in? Settle something with me so that I can have them half the time?"
"That's actually really selfish, you know that?" Lauren retorted, "After everything you two went through together, you're still willing to hurt him like this? Amy you spent two and a half years with Ricky, and you weren't happy after fighting for him to be with you. Now you're away from him, and you're both miserable!"
The last part of her friend's sentence caught her attention, an odd little pain shooting through her chest at her declaration, "... did he say that? That he's... miserable?" Amy swallowed roughly, pushing the phone deeper against her ear, "He is still seeing Dr. Fields, right?" Lauren scoffed again, ending their conversation by abruptly hanging up.
"What does the doggy say, Emma?" He read aloud, keeping a two finger grip on the small palm sized ' all about sounds' book they were reading.
"Woof-woof!" John barked, animating the pages of the story for his sisters benefit.
"The kitty says -"
"Me-oww! Me-oww!" Emma squealed at him, holding out her fistful of cheerios she was busy gnawing on.
Ricky flipped the page, raising one brow before looking at the boy, "A birdy says..."
John paused, his lips pursing, "I dunno th-at one!" He chuckled, turning another page just as a loud rumble sounded overhead
"Look at the airplane - look right there" Ricky pointed towards the sky, shielding the baby's eyes with his hand from the harsh sunlight.
Snapping his attention to the sky, John pointed up too, "Whoa!" Shrieking in delight as the big machine zoomed through the clouds above them. He jumped off the bench they were all sharing, taking a few steps forward to follow it before it disappeared and he turned to ask, "Wh-air is the air-pw-ane jus go-in?"
Adjusting the baby better in his lap, Ricky handed Emma a few more dry pieces of cereal, glancing up to the sky momentarily before getting ready to answer his question, "well..."
"Ricky?" She interrupted, practically shouting his name as she sprinted towards them from her spot by the tree.
John's brow furrowed upon seeing her, immediately changing his face to a frown and crossing his arms over his chest in a huff.
Clementine glanced between him and his sister before she took a seat by his daddy, "What happened, why is John and Emma here?"
John didn't approve of her seating placement, using his hands on the outside of her right thigh, to try to shove her over as far as possible - away from them. She frowned at the action, but brushed it off.
Emma started to whine, rocking her back against his chest. Shifting her to a standing position on the bench, Ricky sighed, "They got kicked out of daycare"
Her eyes widened, "So you brought them here?" Reaching out to touch the baby's arm as she wobbled in his grasp, "Why didn't you come to me?"
"Because it's none of your concern!" He snapped, rather harshly because he sighed again, "I'm handling it..." Clementine's eyes went down, fiddling with the strings of her apron. Ricky knew he'd hurt her feelings, and that she was only trying to help, but he didn't need it, nor want it. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare it felt like he was trapped in: Wake up to a sunny sky, with her dark brown hair in his face because she rolled around in her sleep, and see those brown eyes staring back at him.
But that wasn't going to happen, and slowly, with each passing day, he was starting to accept that. But the thought still pained him. Pained him to the point of tears most nights as he laid in their bed alone, too exhausted to move because their children had run him to the ground.
His mind must have wandered, because his hands laxed and Emma lunged forward, almost falling face first. Thankfully, Clementine caught her, Emma's short cry snapping Ricky out of the daze.
The door to the building opened, a tall, dark haired woman holding a clipboard, smiling at him, "Mrs. Rodriguez will see you now, Mr. Underwood"
He tried to give her a smile, but it came out forced and placid, turning back to Clementine and gathering Emma into his grasp, "Look Clementine, I can't do this right now - we gotta go" Ricky snapped his fingers to the boy, shuffling everything back into the car seat sitting on the ground by the leg of the bench.
She stood up too, running her palms nervously over her apron - unsure how he would respond, "Okay, well I'll come by tonight and bring you dinner -"
"I've got other plans." He deadpanned, taking John's hand
"What?" Her voice was straining, starting to break with emotion as she looked at him, "Like... a date or something?"
His patience was waning, unable to control the rough way he responded to her, hating himself for being so mean. Shaking his head, he scoffed, stilling his hand on the door, "No not like a date - an appointment if you must know!" The gravel in his tone caused Emma to whine into his ear. Shaking his head again, and yanking the door open, they stepped inside - leaving Clementine on the sidewalk behind them. A part of him felt guilty, but the other part was just done with everything - including her and her clinginess. Ricky didn't like clingy, never did.
Emma whined into his ear again, grabbing at the collar of his shirt as they reached their destination. The door was open, but Ricky still knocked twice anyway to be polite. She stood, offering him a smile and a seat. Taking it, he led them into the room, carefully keeping them away from anything important. "I apologize - had I had any other options I swear I wouldn't have brought them with me -"
Professor Rodriguez shook her head dismissively at his ramble, taking a seat back into her own chair, "It's fine, really, don't apologize. I was a young mother too, and it wasn't uncommon for me to have to take my oldest with me to classes." Her eyes shifted to his children, particularly the boy grasping the arm of the chair tightly, uncertainty in his brown eyes. "Ricky... are you okay? Is the class too hard? Or too much? Do you need some extra guidance in this field?" She asked gently, putting her flatted palm out towards him as a sign of understanding.
Emma was getting restless in his lap, kicking her legs and starting in on her desire to alert everyone that she was unhappy. "No, nothing like that..." Ricky looked at John, eyes dropping in guilt as he ran a hand through his hair, lovingly; voice shaking as he spoke, tired of hiding the truth and masking his pain, "My wife - Amy - she left us the day after she graduated high school for Hudson University in New York, and I've been doing this all by myself..." The weight of the confession taking a small amount of pressure off his chest.
Her expression shifted, a gentle frown coming to her face. He sighed again - all he seemed to ever do anymore - shifting the baby to sit by his feet, a stern look going to his son to watch his baby sister. John nodded silently, sitting on his knees beside her. "This morning my son got into a fight with another kid - one of his best friends - and got expelled from daycare." Closing his eyes in a mixture of exhaustion, and trying to keep the tears from breaking free, Ricky scoffed sadly, rapping his knuckles on his left hand against the armrest of the chair, "And to top it all off, the same daycare where Amy worked, dropped both my kids from their health insurance plans at the end of the month because my wife is no longer employed there." He paused, unable to stop the emotions from taking over: the tears sliding down his jaw, embarrassing him, "Everything is crumbling down around me, and I don't know if I can take much more. I called everyone I knew to watch them, and nothing -" Emma squealed, yanking on his jeans by his ankle, causing his lip to tip up slightly.
"Take a deep breath -" Rodriguez instructed, doing the same, her eyes focused solely on the young teen. Obeying, Ricky took three slow deep breaths, unclenching his fists to relax against the denim of his jeans. Opening a drawer, she took out a pencil, and slid a blue packet across the desk, "Now, go ahead and finish... I saw you left some blank. You're too good of a student for that." His eyes widened, mouth going slightly agape in confusion. She put her hand on the booklet, "Finish this, and we can talk more afterwards - I might have a solution to your problem."
Before Ricky could rebuttal, Rodriguez was already out of her chair and adjusting herself into a sitting position on the floor. "Do you like animal crackers?" She asked John reaching behind her back to open another drawer. John nodded quickly, pausing from using his fingers to tickle his sisters stomach. She smiled sweetly at them, and brought back a bright red package, handing them to him. He smiled at her as a response, apprehensively reaching for the snack. Reaching back to the drawer, she pulled out a small coloring book with four crayons attached to the cover, "Will you color with me?" He nodded again, shoving two elephant crackers into his mouth. Ricky smiled at the sight, mouthing a thank you to her as he got busy jotting down on the page.
"What do you mean Anne called you? What did she say?" Pushing the device deeper against his ear, he grabbed John's hand again that he kept pulling away from, bounding through the crowded parking lot.
"She wanted me to talk to you. Anne thinks that my being a social worker can make a difference in seeing the benefits of Emma and John living with Amy." She stated back
Opening the door with a rough tug, Ricky furrowed his brow, scoffing, "And you told her to kiss off, right?"
"No, I did not. I just told her that I wasn't getting in the middle - this is between you and Amy. Anne, George, Nora, Shakur and myself should not get involved." Margaret responded in a way that he knew she was either rolling her eyes at his sneer, or pursing her lips to keep from chuckling herself. She sighed, "That being said..."
"Oh no," Adjusting his son's buckles from the opposite side, as his daughter screeched in displeasure by his head
"What? You don't even know what I was going to say!"
"I know you well enough that when you sigh, you're about to give some advice - what is it?"
"I just think that with all of this going on... maybe you should fly down there and talk with her - talk with Amy - face to face."
Securing the seats, Ricky closed the door, leaning against his Hybrid, "What good would that do? I'm not changing my mind, and she's not just going to slink back and take it - there is no real compromise here." Pausing, he sighed under his breath, locking his fingers into the roots of his hair, "I love her, mom, I truly do, but I can't justify what she wants. Emma and John shouldn't have to be ripped away from the only thing they know, just to cater to her whims! What happens if she decides that she wants to change her mind again? What happens to them when she wants to turn that switch and become something she's not? They will have to suffer!" He could feel the tears burning the brim of his eyes, shaking his head, "No, I'm not putting them through that! I've taken care of them since she left, and I'm doing my best here - I won't allow her to take that from me..."
Hearing the emotion in her sons voice, she sighed again, "Why don't you take some time for yourself this weekend? You need time to yourself too, Ricky..." His silence telling her he was starting to fall back into his self destructive ways. "Don't do that, you need this. Go take a walk, get some of that anger out... let me reiterate that - get some of that anger out in a healthy way, understand?"
"Wow... that was..." His eyes were wide, "Terrible! You didn't even hit the ball!" Holding back a loud chuckle as his friend swung the bat and came up short again.
He shook his head, shaking out his left arm, "You think you can do better?"
Scoffing, he rose from the bench, picking up the bat by the cage, and the helmet from the ground, waiting to enter until Jack was fully out, and watching his children.
Stepping up to the scuffed plate, Ricky positioned the bat at an angle, elbow raised slightly. Blowing one long breath out from his cheeks, his eyes watched the ball zoom forward: muscle memory kicking in as the bat collided against it and sent it flying across the fenced in cage. Smirking, he tapped the bat against his worn sneaker, turning his body back to face his adoring crowd.
Jack rolled his eyes, "Satisfied?"
A medium sized blonde strode up to their spot, stopping to admire his game; her lips pursed into a flirty pout, "Nice ball work."
Ignoring her, Ricky went back to the task, driving another fast ball straight down the line. Catching Jack's confused stare, he cocked a brow, "What?"
Jack's mouth opened quickly, eyes glued to the girl who was walking away after being rejected, "Um hello, she's hot!"
Hitting another ball, "Yeah and?"
"And, you should get her number... or you know, hook me up with it."
"I thought we came here to forget about women? You know, clear our heads?" Ricky stated sternly, another fast ball launching.
"We're guys - is that even possible?" Jack chuckled, glancing at the boy busy zooming his metal cars across the bench by his arm, "Besides we're not obligated to anyone - unless you and Clementine...?"
"Nope." He deadpanned, hitting another ball before lowering his head, "I can't, I thought I could - I thought sleeping with her would finally get my mind off Amy... but I couldn't do it. And I still can't. I'm not ready for that kind of relationship again" A fussy whine sounded from the stroller, the too-tired baby starting to wake inside.
Putting a hand to the handle, Jack started to slowly move it back and forth, shushing the infant's cries enough to lull her back to a semi-state of slumber, "That's understandable, you've got a family to think about, I guess"
Nodding, Ricky positioned himself again, before the loud drum beats sounded through the cage. Taking the device from his back pocket, he scoffed and tapped the screen aggressively, ignoring her call with one button. Slipping it back into his pocket, the anger was starting to bubble: about to overcome him if it wasn't released soon.
Planting his feet squarely, his fingers flexed against the metal, using every once of hurt and betrayal coursing through his veins to smash against the mound of rubber and yarn: sending it cascading with a bang so loud it sounded like a gunshot.
"Whoa!" John shrieked in excitement, poking his fingers through the fenced gate, "Th-at jus a bw-ig h-it, daddy!"
Ricky's hands were shaking, dropping the bat by his feet and yanking the helmet off his head in one swift, agitated, motion. The sound wasn't enough to keep the infant docile, Emma's wide eyes showing tears as she cried for him. Lowering his head, he yanked the cage open, gently nudging his son aside so he wouldn't accidentally get clipped by either the latch, or a ball coming from the machine.
Shifting to stand, Jack nodded, looking at the empty cage, "the kid is right - ever think of going out for the campus team?"
"Those days are over." Ricky stated bluntly, removing Emma from the stroller and into his arms. Her cries silencing to little whines as she scrunched his nose between her tiny fingers. Kissing her forehead, he glanced at John, grabbing his earlobe playfully, making him giggle. "I do want to get John into something though - find a way to get some of his anger out without it costing me missed days off work, or finding a new daycare..."
Pursing his lips, "What about football? That's a good sport: it releases anger, aggression; makes you happy, makes you sad. It's perfect!" The lilt in Jack's voice being merged with sadness, eyes shifting between his newly un-casted arm, and the ground.
Ricky's eyes shifted too, watching his friend cautiously, "...Have you been back on the field since..." Without hesitation, Jack shook his head, blowing out a breath from his cheeks. Nodding slowly, "maybe you need to see Dr. Fields again?"
His head snapped up, a little angry, "What so he can tell me I'm being paranoid?"
Taken aback by his outburst, he rose a brow, "No, so he can get you some help - some professional help."
"I don't need professional help... I'm fine!"
"Jack, I say this as your friend - get some help. You're not fine! You've been sleeping in Kathleen's guesthouse for months... have you even called Grace?"
"Why? Would good would that do?" He paused, flexing his hand, "Besides, I'm fine! My parents are coming back into town this weekend for the wedding - "
"You still need to see someone - talk to someone, Jack. I know you think it won't help, but it will - it did for me - "
"And how is that working for you? Amy's still gone, and you're sitting here with two children, hitting baseballs to combat sleeping with someone else -" Jack sneered, turning his back and gripping the slots of the cage door, "I'm fine!"
Putting the baby back into the stroller, and handing her a toy, Ricky stood from the bench, taking a spot beside him to speak clearly, "Jack, you almost shot George! You brought a gun into the guesthouse..." he swallowed roughly, fighting back the break in his voice, "and almost shot my Someone I care about. My children's grandfather! You are not fine! You need help!"
Closing his eyes, Jack slammed his hand against the cage, letting out a sniffle, "I can't go back to the dorms, man... every time I close my eyes, I see his face..."
Ricky sighed, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth, "This is what I'm talking about, Jack. You'll never get control if you don't start taking steps to get there. It's time we both took control of our situations."
Hearing a sniffle, John cautiously stepped forward, putting his small hand on the teens muscular arm, his voice small as he glanced up, "It is o.k. to be sad J-ack..."
They both looked down at the boy, Ricky's tired smile breaking through as he knelt down and took John into his embrace, "C'mere" Holding onto his neck tightly, they both rose to stand, giving Jack a sympathetic look. "If a three-year-old can do it... so can you buddy."
Staying silent for a few seconds, Jack sniffled again before turning his back and walking towards the stroller, "Let's go."
"You're the one who wanted to come here... let's just go - go back home..." He panted heavily between breaths, their lips molding together "and... do... this..."
She pulled away for a second, her brow raised, "And waste this dress?" He pouted at their loss of contact, making her giggle "Come on..."
Biting his bottom lip, he lowered his eyes, and his voice, touching the shoulder strap of her black dress, "Maybe we could just..." trailing, his fingertips moving to the skin of her neck, eyes clouding, "Before going in?"
The tingle down her spine made her breath hitch, and mentally consider jumping him right then and there, "And risk someone seeing us?"
"I'll be quick!"
Biting her lip, "No!" Amy shook her head, no real conviction behind it. His lip puckered - mimicking the way their son did his to get his way - "Oh don't do that! You know we can't!"
Dipping his head forward, Ricky's lips found the spot on her neck that made her wither, "We can if you want..." His left hand trailing up her thigh hidden behind the black fabric, stopping at the most sensitive dip in her skin.
Her breathing was starting to increase; his fingertips like little electric shocks against her skin. She wanted him, so badly. Every single part of her wanted to grab him and pin him down like she knew he loved. But she'd spent a week trying to convince him to go to this dance. To be normal teenagers for a few hours. Yet here they were, in his car, fighting against their hormones in the late May heat.
Stilling his hand, she gulped back her desire, "Stop - we have to go inside -" There was no conviction behind those words either, because they both knew what they wanted. He lifted his head, and his eyes to hers, the smirk on his perfect pink lips making it so much harder to leave the confines of the car.
Running her hand over his suited shoulder, her voice was hesitant, a small squeak breaking through, "One hour, promise. Then..."
Not waiting for her to finish her sentence, he leaned in and kissed her again, softer, before pulling away, blowing out a breath, and grabbing her hand, "One hour."
"Amy..." He moaned a little roughly, his hands grasping on to her waist, "Amy we need to stop - I'm going to be late - Amy!"
Snapping out of her trace; the memory of their night together setting her body on fire, she stopped, "Oh - sorry..." unclenching her fists from both his blonde hair, and his faded Asking Alexandria t-shirt.
Adams hands released their grip on her hips, allowing her to slide off his lap, "Don't be..." He chuckled huskily, coughing as he tugged on the denim of his ripped black jeans, "I don't know if I could have lasted much longer..."
His words, and the way his eyes grazed over her, made her blush, "You know... it's been a few weeks... I might be up for doing something a little more... direct later tonight..." Her tone was seductive, running her flattened palm a few centimeters from the tightness in his jeans: purposely trailing his thigh slowly with her nails. Teasing him. Knowing sex was the catalyst to numbing her pain. It worked for Ricky.
Catching on, he took his rings between his teeth, "Don't tease me," Taking her hand off him quickly as he shuffled off the driver's seat, and out the door, "I'll see you inside?"
Biting her own lip nervously, Amy nodded, trying to offer him a smile while inside she was slowly starting to break, "Yeah, just uh - I need a minute" Giving her a half nod, Adam took off from the dark alleyway, throwing up the back door and sprinting inside.
Waiting until he was fully out of view, she took her phone out: three rings and then his voicemail.
Letting the tears run down her cheeks, Amy closed her eyes, and took a few shaky breaths before opening them back up and finding the video file saved on her phone. Bringing the file up, she pushed the button, serenading the small space with a mixture of cheers and squeals: the joyous sounds she'd become so accustomed to, now paining her as she paused the video, and zoomed in on his face. The way his brown eyes sparkled and his dimples popped when he smiled, crushing her like a boulder.
She let the tears fall like rain down her cheeks, choking back the deep, painful, sob trying to wrench its way from her throat. Instead just letting a faint, pain-filled, whimper pass her lips, "... why can't things be different for us?"
"Seriously?" She huffed, throwing her hands up in defeat, before pursing her lips and banging a flattened palm on the frosted glass.
The action got his attention: the door immediately being opened, eyes wide, "Adrian - what are - what are you doing here?" His shocked face made her raise a brow as he stepped out quickly, "I thought you were coming in tomorrow?"
Flipping her bangs, Adrian crossed her arms over her chest, "I got an earlier flight, and Omar took mine - I brought dinner!"
"That's great, and I do appreciate it... but you need to go, you shouldn't be here. I have a meeting."
Putting the bag down on the bench, she crossed her arms tighter, contorting her face in an disapproving expression, "Your office closes at 5, it's after 5:30, so whoever this meeting is with clearly doesn't value your time enough to show up on time!"
Rueben sighed at her unnecessary frustration, "He'll be here. He's just running late." Staring at the elevator, "Adrian... please, I will meet up with you later -" as it made a loud ding and the sound of a child's crying filled the otherwise quiet room.
Her eyes snapped to the elevator as well, not at all expecting the small boy to shriek as he was being led by the hand by him. "Oh..." Turning back, her eyes widened and teeth clenched at her dad, nodding in understanding at why he was being so hush-hush.
Ricky saw her standing there because he aided in his sons frustration by sighing loudly himself.
Rueben's cheeks drew up in awkward tension, "I'm sorry - I didn't know she would be here..."
"What are you sorry for? Who cares that I'm here - are we not friends anymore?" Adrian turned to face him, half expecting a fight. Ricky's eyes were stern, but instead of speaking to rebuttal, John started in on his whining, and Emma followed, causing Ricky to just blow air from his cheeks in complete defeat.
Rueben saw it, and pointed to his open office, "Right through this door whenever you're ready..." Turning back to his daughter, his eyes also stern as he spoke, "Goodnight, Adrian. I'll see you at home?"
Waiting until he had left and the door closed, Ricky sighed again, "What are you doing here, Adrian?"
Taken aback by his direct annoyance, Adrian clicked her tongue against her teeth, "I could ask you the same thing -" eyes roaming over the restless baby whose whines had escalated to whimpered crying inside the stroller. John's sudden angry and whiny outburst, throwing her as well as she took a step back. She could tell Ricky was at the end of his rope just by the way his jaw twitched, "Need some help?"
"No, I've got it." He quickly responded, crouching down to talk to his son face to face "John, you gotta calm down" He spoke softly, which only angered the boy as he slammed his hand on the stroller hood. "You can't throw a tantrum every time you don't get your way. I told you we're not going to McDonalds - you need to stop crying" Ricky's voice was getting rougher, the annoyance cutting through as John shrieked again.
"Clearly you have it handled" She sneered, crossing her arms over her chest again. His head snapped up at her, anger in his eyes. Taking a step forward, her wall came down, speaking softer, "I don't know what you're meeting my dad about, but it seems pretty important for him to wait around for you so... go on, I've got them." Her offer was sincere, pushing the stroller over to the bench by the elevator and taking a seat.
Lowering his head in defeat, Ricky took a deep breath through his nose, looking at John again, "Hey, hey listen to me - go sit on that bench over there with Adrian until I get back, okay?" John's eyes followed his dad's finger, but instead of agreeing, he only started in again, sniveling and pawing at his arms. Taking his hand, they walked the 5 steps to the bench, and Ricky gently placed him on it, running his hand over his head, "I won't be long, buddy - be nice." John's response was an angry shake of the head and a knitted brow, huffing as he kicked his feet against the wood
Nodding at her as a silent thank you, Ricky turned quickly and slid through the door before she heard it close roughly. Glancing to the distraught boy on her right, Adrian reached a hand out to him, touching his knee with her newly manicured nails, "Do you want to play a game?"
John wasn't having it, quickly and angrily muttering, "No!"
"Well you've certainly got all the documentation," Rueben stated impressed, thumbing through the file folder laid out on his desk
Ricky nodded, running his palms over his jeans nervously, "I gathered up everything I could find - I just need a fair shake at this. Amy isn't being cooperative, and Anne can't win." He swallowed roughly, his eyes starting to get glassy, "There is no compromise this time... the stakes are too high for me to just give in to her..."
Rueben's brow furrowed, staying on one piece of paper, "John's recent bout of bad behavior might pose a challenge -"
That got his attention, "How so? He's just a kid, dealing with being abandoned by his mother, surely a court could see that!"
"I meant it doesn't particularly look good on you in this situation. Then again, Amy's decision to not return after she said she would, also doesn't look good on her at all. This is a tricky one."
"What's tricky about it? Amy knowingly lied about our marriage, and secretly plotted to leave both me, and our small children, behind!" Ricky's raise in voice was noticeable, the anger starting to bubble to the surface, "Amy has had hardly any contact with John or Emma since deciding to stay in New York. And when she does actually speak to them, it's very short and usually ends up with one of them in tears!" He sniffled, "She won't even pick up the phone for George - you're telling me she could actually put up a valid fight?"
Rueben sighed, folding his hands together, "Your odds are good... but Ricky... Amy is still their mother: she still gave birth to them, and took care of them for an extended period of time. She could rebuttal in the sense that she took care of John without much help from you the first year of his life -"
"I thought that was settled the last time we did this?" Ricky cut him off, jaw clenching before shaking his head, "Let her throw that back in my face because I've been there for John since he was born - regardless of how she wants to spin it. Maybe not in the capacity that I should have... but I love that boy with my entire heart -"
Rueben put a hand up to stop him from more angry rambling, "And nobody is going to question that, but this notion could be seen as you trying to keep your children from their mother. Or it could be seen as you protecting your children from being hurt. It could go either way." He sighed again, "Amy left for school, right?"
Twiddling his thumbs, Ricky scoffed, "Yeah - but she's not doing much of that... she's got a new boyfriend who's in a band or something."
"But she went to New York for school - Hudson University. Amy left for college, and regardless of what she does there with her own time, that might not be relevant to this case." Thumbing through the file again, he tapped a pen, "The judicial system generally tends to side with the mother in these cases. Are you prepared for that? Are you prepared if a judge says you get full custody, while she gets visitation - or vice versa and you have to move to New York to see them?"
Ricky sniffled, wiping a tear away from his cheeks, "All I know is that I have to try. I have to try so that my kids know that their father did everything he could to protect them from getting hurt by their mother." Swallowing, "And if a judge sides with her, then I'll appeal. And I'll keep appealing until people see her for who she really is!" He touched his hand out of habit, used to spinning the wedding band that was no longer on his finger, his voice broken, "Amy left us like nothing... like we didn't matter anymore. No remorse as she started a new life... I can live with my mistakes, and my children will have to live with my mistakes... but they won't ever have to know what it's like to not be loved." He sniffled again, harder, "because even if Amy decides that they don't matter - they'll never have to question if they matter to me. Or if they are loved." Pausing, he leaned forward, letting another tear slide down his jaw before taking a pen and scribbling with it, pushing the document forward as he emotionally stated, "put it in motion, I'm ready for a fight."
The crowd was screaming to the music blaring in the tiny club: the long guitar solo Amy was so accustomed to hearing, boring her before it ended with the same crash of the symbols, and one heavy stomp as the lights went dark.
The crowd got quiet, a few hollers as he took the microphone, "Before we start the next one -" Adam paused, licking his lips as he turned on his boot heels, "Our boy Noah here has decided that he has something he wants to say..." Smirking, he stepped away from the microphone, putting a hand into the air as their drummer, Noah, stepped up to it, "Take it away, dude"
Noah wasn't one for the spotlight, in fact he was the only one of the group who never took the shot at the end of the set with their fans. He was always in the background, focused on his drums, and making out with his girlfriend. He never really cared much for Amy, and never tried to hide the fact that he didn't. Even telling Adam that dating a teen mom was a recipe for disaster. Still, she accepted him, and his judgement, because she liked him, and they came with that - and the sometimes awful music too.
Noah's brow rose, taking a deep breath as he spoke to the back of the crowd at the bar where she was sitting, "Alexi, mind coming up here?"
Those words ripped through her, bringing her back to a time where they were happy, and head over heels in love.
"Amy... would you mind coming up here?" He was nervous, his voice starting to crack ever so slightly as he kept it under control. John had fallen asleep in her lap, catching her more off guard when his eyes met hers.
The walk to the stage made her stomach twist, and her legs feel like jelly. The eyes of their peers, and parents, and teachers, all on her as she shakily stood there. She heard him take a breath before he got down on his knee, his gown getting trapped under his left shoe.
He held the ring up, her breath hitching as his hand nervously shook slightly, "Amy Juergens... will you marry me?" A rush of emotions hit her like a tidal wave, looking into the eyes of the man she loved. The man who put himself on the line in front of everyone. The man she knew she was going to spend the rest of her life with. He gulped, his eyes glassy as she shook her head rapidly and giggled out, "Yes!"
The loud eruption of the crowd brought her back to reality. The sadness starting to creep in.
Adam was back at the microphone, "You two seriously make me sick!" Chuckling at the two of them making out in front of him, and Noah flashing him the middle finger as a response. Adjusting the guitar on his shoulder, his fingers started to strum, "This one is for you!" The opening cords sounded familiar, the different way they were played to match their edgy-punk sound, like a grater against her ears. He closed his eyes, before opening them and scanning the crowd - in search of her - as he startled to sing, "It's undeniable that we should be together. It's unbelievable how I used to say that I'd fall never. The basis you need to know if you don't know just how I feeeeelll"
Amy felt as though someone had just stabbed her, leaving her for dead as the image of their dance together popped in her mind. He had planned the whole thing because he loved her. He had sang the song to her with a cardboard crown on his head, because he loved her. He did everything... because he loved her. What should have been a happy moment, immediately turned sour; the tears clouding her vision as she bolted away, struggling against the humid air, and her breaking heart, to breath through the sobs choking her throat.
"No, roll the other way -" Adrian instructed, demonstrating with the infants hands as she maneuvered them in a bicycling motion for him to mimic. Doing so, John smirked at her. "Ok, now pat your hands like this -" Pushing her hands together gently, "and mark it with a J" using her own index finger to draw the letter in the air, "Now put it in the oven for -" She pointed at him, "What's your name?"
He giggled, raising his brow, "John!"
Smiling back, the baby in her lap let out a loud squeal at her brother, "Put it in the oven for John, and me!" Adrian finished the song, bouncing Emma on her knee. He giggled again, tickling her playfully. "You wanna do it again?"
John nodded quickly, preparing his hands just as the door opened slowly, and they stepped out.
"Call me if you need anything?" Rueben stated, pausing at the entrance with his hand extended out,
Giving him a knowing nod, before shaking his hand, Ricky glanced around the corner to his children, "I will, thank you - you really don't know what this means to me."
"Daddy! Daddy! Look!" John shrieked in giddy, practically sprinting over to him to show him his new game. Faking enthusiasm with the mundane hand-game, Ricky smiled anyway, and walked over to the bench. Seeing him, Emma immediately started to whine and reach for him, squirming against Adrian's lap.
Adjusting her, Adrian moved her bangs with her hand, her eyes low, "I hope you don't mind - she just seemed so cramped up in the stroller."
Ricky's lip tipped up, opening and closing his palms quickly as Emma's whines escalated and she practically sprung into his arms, "I don't mind, she hates that thing." Jostling her, she kicked her legs, sending the file folder tucked under his jacket, to the floor.
Not thinking, they both bent down to retrieve it, almost knocking heads when the contents spilled out, and one piece was all too visible. They both went to grab it, Adrian trying to help before her eyes widened and she grasped the document. Ricky's breathing quickened, reaching over so quickly, he almost dropped the baby.
It was too late anyway, it was in her grasp, her eyes scanning it with a cross between a smirk and a frown on her face. The bolded wording of Petition For Parental Custody And Support, across the top making her click her tongue.
Ricky sighed, his eyes glassy and his head down, "I suppose you want to gloat?"
Looking up at him, Adrian shook her head slowly, "I'm sorry." His eyes shifted to her face, surprised at her apology. "I didn't know things were this bad... and as much as you probably deserve an 'I told you so' for being an ass in the past... I wouldn't wish what you're going through on anyone." Her eyes were starting to get glassy too, matching his, pushing her bangs back with her other hand, her lip starting to wobble, "And it angers me what Amy is doing. She had two, healthy children, who she just left behind... while I -"
Ricky nodded, biting his lip as Emma touched them with her fingers, "I'm sorry Adrian, I really am." Adrian handed the document back to him, along with the rest of the folder, wiping her eyes with her the pad of her thumb. He pursed his lips, jaw tight as he placed the baby back in the stroller that she protested by releasing a loud shriek, and stuck his hand out for the boy to grasp before making their way to the elevator, "Thanks for your help. Night."
"Wait!" Adrian shouted, catching up to him, and putting her hand out, touching his leather jacket. He turned his head at her. "I don't have any plans, and I know you need to vent... wanna grab some dinner?"
"Daddy, I wa-nt to pwu-sh the butt-on!" John interrupted, his hand hovering over the shiny panel of white numbers that lit up when they were pushed. Emma extended her small arm out, wanting to copy her brother who wasn't having it, shaking his head at her sternly.
Glancing down at his children, Ricky shook his head, "I'm fine. Not really hungry, but thank you for the offer."
"Oh come on, it's just a meal. What you can't even eat with me now?"
"No, nothing like that. I'm just not hungry, and I need to get these two home. It's nothing personal, Adrian."
She clicked her tongue, skeptical, "Uh huh... well Omar isn't coming in until Saturday morning, and Grace's flight got delayed. I'm hungry and my tacos got cold because you were talking to my dad - you kinda owe me. Think of it as payment for watching them for you?"
Blowing air from his cheeks, Ricky pinched the bridge of his nose, "I don't know..."
"Thought I might find you here" He stated quietly, staying hidden in the darkness of the corner. She didn't speak, ignoring him as she heard him step closer, "you can't avoid me forever, Ames. We need to talk."
Shaking her head, she backed away, "It's not a good time, dad. Can you just leave, please? I don't want to do this with you right now."
He flipped the switch on the wall, squinting against the harsh light, "I don't care. You either talk to me, or sit, and I'll do the talking." Her response another shake of the head. "You know this is all ridiculous right? You taking off and leaving your kids and husband behind for this - this convoluted plan you and your mother cooked up!" George huffed, anger on his face, as he put his hands on his hips.
"He's not my husband - Ricky and I were never married." Amy stated back roughly, swiping at her eyes with her hand
"Legal or not, you took the vows, you exchanged the rings - you're married." He pursed his lips, "And with that said it's time you suck up whatever unhappiness you might have, and go home to be with your family. You and Ricky made the conscious decision to have these children together, you need to raise them together."
She turned on her heels, spinning around to face him, "And what is that going to solve? We never stopped fighting, and it wasn't good for them! What makes you think anything will change now?" Her voice was breaking, struggling to keep her emotions in check or else she'd break again. Her father's eyes were dark, pain in them as he stood there in front of her. Meeting them, Amy weakly asked, "How is he?" He cut his eyes down, blowing air from his cheeks, contemplating if he should tell her the truth. She noticed, and reached for his arm, "Oh come on, even though we're not together anymore it doesn't mean I stopped caring about him..."
With that answer, George sniffled, "The truth?" She nodded slowly, swallowing back the lump in her throat. He shook his head, "Not good. He's upset and exhausted, and miserable," drawing in his bottom lip, the stern look in his eyes coming back, "And deep down inside I know you are too -"
She chuckled at him, "Dad, I'm not miserable." Moving away from him to her bed, she took a seat, "I mean I've made new friends, and explored this amazing city, and I'm about to start classes next week - I'm really happy."
He followed, "No you're not. You may say you are, but you're not." Glancing around the room, he paused on the single picture frame by the bed. The one she had replaced because it was too painful to look at the previous contents. George sighed, "Is it true? Are you already seeing someone?" Her silence his answer as he swallowed roughly, "Well think about this, while you're out here living it up, Ricky is back at home being the responsible parent while his life is falling apart." Wiping away a few stray tears from his cheek, he pulled out his phone, bringing up the image the daycare had sent Ricky weeks ago, and shoving it in her face, "this is why you need to come home."
Her eyes began to get glassy, staring at the two most precious things to her, holding each other in a rare moment - that she never got to witness. The image brought her heart joy, but it also was slowly breaking it. Pushing it away, Amy tried to put on a fake smile: to show him that she was okay; that she didn't feel like she was about to die under the weight of so much heartache. "They've gotten bigger since the last time I saw them..."
Taking the device back, George nodded, "That's what happens when you're not there to see them everyday - they grow up quickly... and you'll never be able to get the time you missed back..."
"What are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to see you!" Anne barked, stomping into the already cramped dorm room
"Too bad. This is my daughter too, and I have a right to be here and tell her how selfish she's being!" He shot back, whatever softness he had gone by her mere presence.
"You always do this! You can't leave well enough alone, can you? It's like you thrive off of hostility and arguments, George!"
"Me? You're the one threatening to take our grandchildren's father to court! You want to rip a young father away from his children!"
"I'm not ripping them away! Ricky has had them all summer - what is Amy not allowed to have them half the time because she lives here?"
"Pretty much." They both paused a second, before George lowered his voice and pointed to Anne "You know this isn't right! You're rewarding our daughter for doing the wrong thing when she should be back in California in that little apartment over the butcher shop with her children, and -"
"And what, George - a man who doesn't love her? Is that what you want? For our daughter to suffer more in life by being miserable?" Amy took a step forward, no longer wanting to hide as her mother tried to speak for her, but was shot down when Anne turned and shouted, "Stay out of this, Amy!"
He lifted his cheeks, frowning, "You were barely around the last couple of years - they weren't miserable, Anne. Not until you started planting things into her head!"
The thought of his tear stained cheeks as they held each other in that living room, shooting a pain so sharp through her, it took her breath.
"Will the two of you just stop please!" Amy yelled over their screaming, getting their attention almost immediately. Not being able to hide the hurt, her lip wobbled, "I've had a really crappy night, and the two of you just showing up here and arguing isn't helping!" Stomping to the door, she held it open for them, "Now leave so I can call my kids - and try to get Ricky to compromise with me -"
Anne's head snapped up, "Wait a minute, you haven't talked to Ricky yet?" Amy wiped her cheeks, shaking her head. She sighed, a softness coming back into her as she joined her by the door, "Amy... you need to call him, and just be prepared to hear what he has to say..."
She rose a brow, unsure of why her mother was acting weird, "Mom, you're acting really weird - what's wrong?"
"There is no easy way to say this... Donovan called me - that's why I came over here... He got a fax from Rueben" She put a hand on her shoulder, "Ricky put in a motion to file for full custody..." fully prepared for the fallout as her daughter's knees got weak and she fell against her, with broken and squeaky sobs into her shoulder.
Taking their seats at a somewhat desolate table near the back of the diner/restaurant they were at, they started their catch-up; talking about his life as a single father - but careful in his wording as to not set the toddler off in case he was actually listening - along with Adrian's new venture with Omar in New York.
The stares of the other diners, piercing through him whenever his children had started acting up a mere 10 minutes into their outing.
"So you and Omar are -" a thud, followed by a whimper, cutting him off as he saw the vacant spot by him. "John, get back up here and sit!" Ricky snapped, annoyance laced in his tone, turning his attention back to his friend, "Sorry. So you and Omar are engaged again? That's great." He was trying to sound convincing, but deep down he wanted to punch the table as Amy invaded his thoughts.
"Yeah, we worked it out. That's why I moved to New York, it wasn't going to work any other way..." Adrian trailed, pursing her lips at her confession. His eyes lowered.
"Em-ma no!" John shouted, thrusting his sisters grabby hands away from his plate and the menu he was coloring - the blue crayon deep inside her mouth. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, whining into his fathers ear, "Daddy!" Sighing, Ricky grabbed the crayon from her, causing a protested whine, which only got worse as he removed her from the seat and into the highchair a waitress had brought over - causing her lip to pucker and screech, throwing her head back.
Adrian's eyes widened, slightly concerned that he seemed to ignore his child's actions. "Is she okay?"
Without glancing over, Ricky nodded, taking a bite of his dinner, "Emma is at that age where she's starting to understand what no means, and she's not keen on it. She throws a fit when she doesn't get her way - something she - the both of them - got from Amy, obviously." He rolled his eyes, handing Emma a toy that she threw on the floor.
Reaching for it, and touching her closed fist gently, Adrian put on a small smile when Emma's green eyes lifted, her loud crying starting to quiet to whimpers. Adrian glanced over, seeing John perched and swaying on his knees as he held the half eaten chicken tender between his fingers, ketchup running in a trail down his hand. "Do you mind if I?" She asked, gesturing to the baby, her voice hesitate. Without pause Ricky nodded and shrugged. The smile on her face widened, reaching in cautiously and taking Emma out, pitching her voice in delight as she positioned her against her lap, "Hi, Emma!"
Emma started to whine, lip immediately starting to pucker as her eyes stared at the stranger before searching for her dad. Easing her worry, Ricky reached over the table, and handed her the toy she kept throwing on the ground, aided by a swift brush of his thumb over her fist. She whimpered again, but started to settle, holding out the toy and shaking it. He smiled tiredly, fighting his drooping eyelids.
"So, you really don't know if she's coming back?" Adrian's voice was low, gauging his response as he stayed silent, jaw clenched. Banging her toy on the table, Emma squealed.
His eyes roamed over them, before blowing a breath from his cheeks, and leaning back against the seat, "I honestly don't know..." He swallowed, "It's like the Amy that I knew, and loved, just vanished - being replaced by... whatever this version of her is."
She nodded slowly and silently, staring down on the baby, giggling to herself- or at her brother - brow rising as the little girl shrieked out a squeaky, "hi!"
Getting the entire tables attention - including that of her brother busy scribbling away on paper printout of a pirate ship - they all looked at her. "Daddy, Em-ma jus say-ed hi!" John beamed at her quickly before going back to his task.
Ricky also gave her a big grin, reaching over the table to swipe some hair from her eyes, admiring her. Emma looked up at him, her two teeth showing as she excitedly squealed, "dada!"
"Did you do this? Did you encourage him? Bribe Ricky so it would force my hand and make her come back?" She raged through clenched teeth, careful to not disturb the other college kids in their dorms.
He was pacing the hallway, checking his watch, "No, I didn't. But I'm glad he did it - Amy needs a reality check - learn that she can't have it both ways. If she wants to parade around New York with her new life, she can't be angry about Ricky wanting to move on with their children they had in her old one!" Anne was huffing, her red hair matching that of the invisible steam billowing from her ears. George caught it, matching her as he tightened his jaw, "This is your fault, you know. You gave her the resources to do this! What were you thinking Anne? Do you not love our grandchildren enough that you had to take their mother away from them? Do John and Emma mean nothing to you?"
"Of course not! I love them!" She shot back, crossing her arms over her chest, "She wasn't happy, George... Amy wasn't happy. Regardless if that was because of her situation or not, I couldn't stand seeing our daughter so hurt and miserable..." Her eyes got glassy, "I never meant to hurt anyone. I never would willingly hurt my grandchildren... But I won't apologize for getting her away from Ricky - the idea of them was a bad idea from the start because no matter what he does... he's always going to be the man who hurt our daughter..."
Unbelieving that she had said such a thing, George started to take deep breaths to keep his temper in check. Shuffling into the pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a white and pink card. "Give this to Amy. She can do what she wants with it, but give it to her." He instructed sternly, avoiding her eyes as he put it in her hand and stormed down the hallway.
"Where are you going?" Anne called after him
Without turning around, or slowing down, he yelled back, "Back to the hotel to get our son, and then on a plane and back to MY family - which includes Ricky!"
20 minutes later
"How does Clementine feel about all of this? I mean if you're fighting Amy for full custody she has to know that she's going to be stepping up more, right?"
"No! And I don't know how she feels about it. I never discussed it with her. It's none of her business!" He snapped, pursing his lips into a thin line, "I didn't even want to do this - but what choice do I have? Amy made her choice, now I have to make mine!"
Pushing the glass over to the side, away from the 8-month-old's grabby hands, "So you and Clementine haven't -?" Adrian pursed her lips, curiously
Shaking his head, "No. No we haven't." Ricky sighed, toying with the napkin by his plate, "I'm not ready, and... honestly I don't even know what I'm doing with her." Blowing out a breath, he shook his head again, "She's one of the biggest reasons Amy left... yet something inside me needed to know. I needed to know if there was anything there -"
"And is there?" She interjected, adjusting the squirming baby on her lap. His eyes lowered, not wanting to answer her question she already knew the answer to. "So, what - you just dump her and move on to someone else?"
"I don't know." He sighed again, running his hand over the stubble on his chin, "I mean how can I know - Amy is still always on my mind... like a damn current threatening to swallow me, and pull me under..." His eyes were glassy, drawing in his lip as if began to wobble, "I just... I hate her so much right now..."
Adrian's mouth went agape at his confession. He caught it, blowing another breath from his cheeks as a few stray tears slid down his jaw, "I've never told anyone that. Even when she was constantly screaming at me about John in the beginning... I never said it aloud. I couldn't -"
Jostling Emma as she began to get restless, "Because it's not true..." Adrian sighed, and moved the baby to a standing position on her knees, "Ricky, we've known each other for a long time, and I knew how you really felt about Amy back then." Emma whined, reaching for him before dropping the toy on the table. "You loved her then, and you still love her now. And nothing you tell yourself is probably ever going to change that. Regardless if you want to allow yourself to or not..." She trailed off, starting to reach for his arm just as their waitress came back over.
"Can I get you a to-go box?" the young teen girl asked, her perky blonde self leaning over to gather the plates from the table.
Ricky shook his head, tossing a few crumpled bills on the table, "No, thank you, we're just about to head out."
She nodded, beaming, "You guys are such a cute little family!"
Not expecting to hear those words, he panicked, "Oh no -" swallowing roughly as his mouth got dry, "No, I'm not -"
Adrian stepped in, "We're just friends, they are just his."
The girl looked mortified, her hands immediately going to her face in sheer embarrassment, "Oh my - I'm so sorry! I'll get your check."
Waiting until she was gone, they both started to chuckle, thankful to be in a place where they could laugh with each other. The relationship between them over, but the friendship they both missed, still intact. Offering her a small tired smile, Ricky's head turned at the sound of his sons snoring: Johns head resting atop the colored paper menu, and a chicken tender still nestled into his palm. Emma whined too, rubbing one of her tiny fists into her eye. "I should get going - I'm honestly surprised she's lasted this long, and he's probably not going to be asleep much longer." Moving his hands slowly, he tried to nudge John awake: the drool starting to dribble from his mouth enough to make them both gag silently, before just starting to pick his small frame up and off the table. John whined in protest, shaking his head and batting his arms sleepily.
Getting up from the bench, baby braced against her hip, "I'll walk out with you - I mean if you want me to..." Without hesitation, he nodded, gathered up the diaper bag, and allowed Adrian to lead the way
The door opened slowly, her loud sniffles making it hard to hear.
"There you are." He greeted warmly
Hanging up her phone, she shrugged, "Here I am"
Not wasting any time, Adam put his arms around her, "Ax said he saw you run out of the club - you oka-" leaning in to kiss her before she roughly pushed him away.
"Why did you do that? Why did you sing that song?" Amy fumed, throwing her hands in the air and moving towards the closet by her bed.
Taken aback, his brow rose in confusion, "Um, because Noah's girlfriend loves it, and he asked me to... why?" Her silence, and the way she looked at her shoes, as she bit her thumbnail, giving him his answer. He snickered, twisting his lip ring between his fingers, "Oh now I get it - Prince Charming. That was your song with him, right?"
"You know I hate it when you call him that..." She squeaked in a small voice, unable to keep from exploding into a sobbing mess again, "... he filed for full custody tonight..."
"And that's a surprise because?" He was unsympathetic, "You knew that was bound to happen eventually - you live in two different states for Pete's sake!"
Adam's response sent her into a rage, "That shouldn't matter! They are still my children, and I deserve time with them just as much! He knows my mom is getting us a bigger place - he did this on purpose!"
About to rebuttal, he paused and clicked his tongue, "Wait - your mom got a place? When did that happen?" She shrugged, annoying him, "Were you even going to tell me you were planning on moving? And your kids were coming too? What like to live here?"
"Why? Is that a problem?" She hissed back
He nodded, "Yeah... kinda - you said Ricky had them safe in California, why would you want to disrupt that?"
"Um, how about because I'm their mother and I love and miss them!"
"Amy... I like you. You know I do, and I care about you, but - kids? That's a whole other ordeal entirely. I mean I'm cool with you having them, but I don't - I don't know how to respond to them being here - I've never really been around kids much..." Blowing out a breath, Adam traced the tattoo on his hand with his index finger, "That guy - the record exec - he stopped by again about midway through the set... Amy he's interested! Really interested!" He was smiling, proud of the news he was sharing, "He said we have potential, and... thinks going on the road would bring us some real recognition -" Amy scoffed at him, causing him to lower his eyes in both hurt and frustration, "I thought you'd be happy about that but okay..."
Turning on her heels, "I'm going through a crisis right now - my children could potentially be taken away from me, and all you care about is your dumb little band?"
His head snapped up, anger in his voice, "Dumb little band? Really?" She nodded, rolling her eyes. "You know what, this dumb little band has been my dream - it's real. Not like your one-night-stand turned pity relationship!" He seethed, knowing just how to hit her where it hurt. And he had done it with no remorse as he saw the invisible gut punch go straight through her.
Amy's lip was wobbling, the tears rolling down her face angrily as she shoved him out the door, hard, "Get the hell out!"
Snickering again, Adam grabbed the door knob and shouted "Gladly!" Before slamming it closed.
"Thanks again for your help - and for letting me vent. There aren't many people I can really talk to these days" His words were sincere, gently closing the door as to not wake them up as he leaned against the car.
"Anytime." She responded, clasping her palms together, "I'll see you at the wedding, right?"
"Considering I pretty much got cornered into being best man, yeah. Pretty sure George would kill me if I didn't show."
They both chuckled before she paused, her voice, and eyes, becoming soft, "You're doing really well with them." The compliment threw him, unknowing what to say as he kept his gaze on his shoes and fiddled with his keys. Taking a step closer, she put her hand on his leather clad arm, "Forget about everything, and everyone else, and just stay focused on being there for them, okay?" She leaned in for a hug, their faces just mere centimeters from each other. In a moment of impulse, he brushed his lips to hers, before pulling away, both horrified at what he had done. What he had allowed himself to do in a moment of loneliness and regret.
Staying silent for a few more seconds, he turned on his heel to open his door, apologizing and climbing inside and starting it before glancing up at her, "Tell Omar I said hey"
Her eyes were watery, shocked and dismayed at what had just happened because neither of them harbored feelings for the other one. He was just overwhelmed and spiraling. With a shaky breath, she leaned forward, "Don't go back there, Ricky. Don't go back to your old ways... It's not worth it." She let the tears escape from her dark eyes, matching the ones running out of his, "I know you're hurting... but so are they -" pointing into the window at the two nestled in their seats, "Be the man your children can be proud of. The one I know - and you know - you can be."
Silently, he sniffled and pushed the button to roll up the window, speeding away from the parking lot as he sobbed openly into the car.
"He brushed his teeth all by himself tonight!" She beamed, walking into the kitchen hand and hand with her grandson.
"Way to go, buddy!" He smiled, putting his hand out for a high-five, which was happily returned, "Go get in bed and I'll be there in a minute to read to you"
"Mind if I try it?" Nora asked him quietly, adjusting the watch on her wrist
He raised a brow before shrugging, "If he's okay with it - go ahead."
Bending down to be level with him, she touched his space ship pajama covered shoulders, "Can I read to you tonight, John?"
Without hesitation, John nodded and began to bounce on the balls of his feet before sprinting away, "Yea!"
Ricky chuckled quietly, "Any particular reason you want to read to him? You've never asked before..."
She shrugged, pursing her lips and staring up towards the ceiling, "You know when you were little, you had this little bookshelf - I picked it up one night from a dumpster, and brought it home. I would find little books to fill it with wherever I could... with the intention of one day being able to read them to you..." She sniffled, avoiding looking at his face as the painful confession fell from her lips, "I never did, obviously... but I always meant to and it's one of the small things I missed out on of your growing up..."
Caught off by her tearful statement, he swallowed tearfully, "Mom..."
"I know..." She nodded back, understanding what he was going to say without him actually having to say it.
"Ah-da-da!" Emma babbled loudly, pushing herself up against the front of the playpen and holding onto the bar, wobbly.
Waiting until she walked in the bedroom, Ricky stood and lifted Emma out the playpen, sitting them both down on the chair before putting his phone to his hear, "You have 1 new message -" the robot chimed, her voice coming shortly after; broken and filled with pain.
"How could you? How could you do this to me?" She was crying, her sniffles loud, "To us. To John and Emma. I hate you! I hate everything about you! Ricky Underwood you were single handedly the worst decision of my life!"
"If you would like to replay this message press 1"
"I really hate you - do you know that?" Her voice was small, face placid as she tried to hold back her tears, nostrils flaring as she spoke. His previous comment sending a verbal punch to her heart. The certainty, and conviction in her words stabbing him like a knife.
He swallowed, looking directly into her watery brown eyes, "Believe me, I know that. Even when you're nice to me, Amy... I know that" The pain in her face was so evident, it was almost too much to see, so he did what he did best, turned on his heels and walked our the door - leaving her to sob openly for the lies they were both hiding behind; using their hatred to shield themselves from the love they were both terrified of.
Clicking the number 9 on the keypad, he hung up, tearfully pressing his knuckles to his lips as their daughter patted his cheek with her small hand.
"But right now I have to go bed... because mom and dad say... I'm not bigger yet!" Her eyes squinted as she read, confused to what the concept of the story actually was, "What kind of story is this? The kid spends the whole thing talking about how he wants to be bigger - why? Being an adult sucks!" He giggled at her rant, making her chuckle too, "What? It does!" Flipping the book closed, Nora slid off the small mattress, folding the blanket over his frame, and jiggling the chain to his bedside lamp.
Holding benny close to his face, John's head popped up as she began to leave, "Um, um... um is mommy jus cum-in b-ack s-oon?"
His sad question brought her back, unknowing how exactly to word the answer in a way he would be able to comprehend. He was too young to hear the truth, but he was also learning more about the situation from his dad as the days went by. Sighing, she rejoined him on the mattress, running a hand through his buzzed hair, "Do you want to know something?" He nodded slowly. "Mommy's always come back eventually, because they are mommy's and they love their children. That's why I came back for your daddy - because I was away for too long and I loved him... and your mommy will come back for you and Emma one day too."
John's eyes lowered sadly, voice small, "I mw-iss mommy a-wot..."
"Is that why you hurt your friend at daycare? Because he said those mean words about mommy?"
Nodding slowly, and rubbing a fist into his eye socket, "Tw-evor was a meanie! He - he m-ade me sad cuz he jus sa-id mommy do-n't luv me ne-more!"
The pucker in his lip brought Nora back to one sad night of seeing that exact same look on Ricky's small, bruised, face. The painful lump in her throat almost too big to swallow, as she choked, "Your mommy loves you very much, John. Even though she's not here right now... she never stopped loving you. Your mommy loves you and your sister more than anything else in this world."
"H-ow do you jus kwn-ow?"
"... because I'm a mommy too."
Leaning up against the frame, he kissed her again, rougher as she fiddled around her purse for her keys.
"Do you hear something?" He asked, his mouth hot against her neck. Shaking her head, she opened the door, upset to see her sobbing loudly into a pillow on her bed.
"What the hell are you doing here? I told you I needed the room tonight!" Em shouted, annoyed and angry that her roommate was screwing up her night yet again.
He was still on the other side, grabbing her by the waist as he lazily mumbled, "Who is it?"
She rolled her eyes, "My roommate."
Pausing her cry-fest, Amy rose from the pillow, her brow furrowed at the familiar tone of voice. Getting up, she peaked around the corner and saw him, "...Ben?"
Having heard his name, and the familiar tone of her voice, Ben too peered around the corner, "...Amy?"
Taken aback, Em furrowed her brow, glancing harshly between the two of them, "You two know each other?" Opening the door further, he stepped inside, nodding as he stated and pointed, "Ex-girlfriend-"
She nodded back, pointing to him as she pursed her lips, "Ex-boyfriend"
Knowing she was slightly intoxicated just by her actions, it came as no surprise to either of when Emery scoffed before starting to cackle mischievously, "Of fucking course you would be!"
Putting both hands on her arms, Ben sighed, "Can we have a minute?" Her brow rose at him, but when his lips pursed into a line, and he took a step forward, she got upset and pushed him away, muttering a "fine whatever" under her breath before slamming the door behind her.
"Lovely, isn't she?" Amy chuckled, wiping away a few stray tears from her cheeks, "I never pegged you for her type -"
He turned on his heel, shoving his hands into his pockets and shrugged, "Fun distraction" Catching the sight of her swollen and puffy eyes, his eyes lowered, reaching out to touch her, "What's wrong?"
Recoiling, she sniffled, "Nothing..."
"You seem to forget I can tell when you're lying... what's up? What did Ricky do now?"
"My mom found us a great apartment in the city -"
"That's great, isn't it? Now you'll have a place for Emma and John to stay when they come visit"
"Yeah... it should be. It should be the best thing, but it's not..." She started crying again, gripping the roots of her hair with both hands, "He did it. Ricky filed for full custody of Emma and John..." Her face contorting into a mixture of sadness and pain: one dimple popping out from her cheek, "How could he do this to me?"
Without thinking, Ben wrapped her into his embrace, basking in the familiarity of the girl he still loved. "It's going to be okay Amy." He comforted, running his hand up and down her back, "Amy Juergens, when have things never went your way?"
Coming back into the kitchen, she raised a brow at the infant crinkling a piece of paper on his lap. Catching her stare, he rolled his eyes, "Don't start - she's not sleeping, and I'm not in the mood to hear it."
"Fine by me -" She chuckled in surrender, walking over with open palms, "It just gives miss Emma more Grandma Nora time!" And taking the baby into her arms, kissing her cheek. Having his hands free, Ricky tossed the phone across the table, hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. "No luck, huh?"
Shaking his head slowly, "I've called six daycares, three head start programs, and one activity center - nothing: nobody has any openings. And if by some chance they get one - it's going to cost double the amount of the church nursery!" Trying to hold his composure, he let his back hit the chair in defeat, "I'm supposed to call Margaret in the morning and see if she can maybe pull some strings -"
Reaching into her pocket, Nora pulled out a green card, laying it on the table, "Take it - I was saving for a car... but I want you to take it."
Lifting his head, he let the tears escape his lashes, shoving it back at her, "I can't -"
"I never gave you anything but a crappy life, and now that I can do something for you... please - take the money: use it for childcare until you can figure something else out -"
"You earned and saved this money - I won't take it from you." He snapped a little harshly, quickly regretting it as he grabbed at the roots of his hair, "I appreciate the offer, and I love you mom, but... I can't accept your money."
"...Ricky, you're drowning... you've barely got enough money to live on - please -"
Sniffling, "What kind of father would I be if I took money from my own mother to take care of my children?" Emma squealed loudly, kicking her feet and throwing her head back. "It's my job to take care of them - and Amy or no Amy, that's what I plan to do."
Through a tearful nod, Nora kissed the baby's cheek again, "John's asking for her again... wants to know when she's coming back..."
"He started that again after a bad dream the other night..." Ricky sighed, swiping at his cheeks, "He was starting to accept it - or at least I thought he was..."
"Have you spoken to Amy since -"
"No. Not since Emma got discharged from the hospital. She's still adamant on me giving her her way... and it's not happening."
"Are you worried about how she'll react to the papers?"
"No." He deadpanned, cutting his eyes away so his mother wouldn't see the lies hidden in them, "I can't." He swallowed angrily, sucking in a breath, "I can't care about Amy Juergens' feelings anymore." His daughters whimpery little cries only breaking him more, "...she chose this - whatever happens... is on her..."
About to respond, a knock cut her off. Confused at who would be there so late, he started to get up, but paused when his mother sprinted to the door and opened it cautiously. "What are you doing here?" She asked, hiking the baby farther up her hip.
"Who is it?" Peering out of the corner, "Kathleen, hi..." He smiled tiredly, waving her forward. Taking a few steps inside, she stood by the bookshelf, awkwardly toying with her engagement ring.
Tucking his hands into his pockets, Ricky blew out a breath, wondering why George's future wife would be in his apartment at almost 9pm, "Did something happen to George?"
"No, no George is fine... I actually came to talk to you." Kathleen quickly answered, glancing between him, and his mother holding the baby.
Taking note, "Uh, we'll just be in the bathroom - or something." Nora stated awkwardly, shifting the infant to her other arm, chuckling "Babies like mirrors right?" Disappearing behind the wooden door.
His brow rose slightly, "What's up? Are you okay?" She nodded. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thank you, I'm alright." She sighed, clasping her palms together, "I'm just going to come out and say it - I heard about the daycare..." His eyes lowered, partially embarrassed. "I want to offer my help -" His head snapped back up, opening his mouth to speak but getting cut off again, "Before you say anything, I have a big house, I have a yard, and I have the time..." Shaking his head quickly, his jaw twitched. "Listen Ricky, George and I will be married come this weekend, and we're going to be family. And that includes you, John and Emma..." Her eyes were gentle, caring, as she put a hand out to touch his arm. "I don't want you to have to worry about their safety at another daycare, or getting calls everyday. This way you'll know exactly where they are, and what they're doing."
His recoil must have offended her, because she dropped her arm and sighed. "I really appreciate the offer, but... I can't accept." Taking a few steps back, he swiped at his cheeks again, "I can't let you put your life on hold to take care of two small children - one of them a baby - I'll figure something out."
Following him, "I'm not putting my life on hold, I've lived my life, and raised my children - Grace is off in college. I have the time, and I don't mind a challenge... I am remarrying George Juergens after all." That made them both chuckle, before he cut his eyes away again, drawing his bottom lip up as he mentally fought against her offer. She saw it, and her eyes got soft, "It isn't fair to you to have to figure this out all on your own... take the help, Ricky." She reached out again, this time successful in putting her hand on his shoulder, "As much as you want to be strong, sooner or later you're going to crack under the weight because you can't raise these kids alone... so lean on the people who care about you - and your children - and let us help you. You deserve love and care too..."
Not knowing how to respond to her offer, or her kindness, Ricky tearfully shook his head, "I don't really know what to say..."
"Say thank you." She said quietly, engulfing him in an embrace.
Accepting the hug, he nodded, choking through his tears a quiet, and broken, "...Thank you."
"I can't believe you've been dating my roommate this whole time, and didn't even tell me!" She giggled, taking a swig from the flask they were sharing.
After Ben had hugged her, he asked if they could talk - catch up - and having been angry about Ricky, she needed someone who would be on her side.
One flask down, and they were both sitting on her bed, giggling drunkenly as they reminisced about the past.
"Dating is a strong word... I prefer, casually making out and fooling around -" He took the flask back, catching her wide eyed stare, "what?"
"That's - ewwww!" Amy slurred, scrunching her face up the way John did when he saw her and Ricky kissing. Ben chuckled at her childish antics, their faces mere inches from each other's. Without thinking, she crashed her lips against his, and just as quickly broke away from them.
"Sorry -" She apologized, panic in her voice.
Waving it off, Ben leaned in this time, taking her face in his hands as he kissed her. Putting her hands on his to remove them from her face, she rose to stand but almost immediately fumbled and fell backwards - right into his lap. "My - my head feels a little f-funny..." Her breathing started to quicken, an odd sensation washing over her entire body as her vision started to get fuzzy and the back of her head started to pound.
With her in his lap, Ben took control, gripping her by the waist as he drunkenly attacked her mouth with his again. Her brow furrowed, trying to push him off of her with her noddle arms, "What are you - w-what are you doing?" Amy was starting to stutter, her tongue feeling weird in her mouth with the knots in her stomach making her want to vomit. His grip got tighter, scaring her as she tried to protest, "Stop, I think - I think I need to ly down..."
A snarl came to his lips, grabbing her wrists with his hands and pinning her, his eyes clouding over in a darkness that truly terrified her as she squeaked out a weak "B-Ben!" Before everything went black.
Intense huh? Stay tuned friends...
Link to my Spotify The Book Of Me You Playlist! *Note some songs aren't available on Spotify.*
playlist/7LWi6e2JMBoKvcTb1sONlP?si=295a7a950e414227