It's me. Hi! I'm the problem it's me! I bring an update, and some good news! I'm down to writing the final 5 chapters now. I'm both excited and sad about this because that means it's almost over...
Aside that from that, though... Happy 16th Birthday to Secret Life! Today, 16 years ago, I, and so many others fell in love with a show about a teenaged girl who had gotten pregnant from a one-night stand at a summer Bandcamp. Little did we know that all those years ago, it would change our lives forever. Never in my life did I think I'd be writing Fanfiction about these two for almost 14 years. Yet, here I am, giving these thoughts to all of you who are about to read it. Crazy what a work of fiction can do to someone. It can change their life forever. Which is exactly what Secret Life did for me. Ricky & Amy forever, friends.
Alright, I've yammered enough, happy reading!
Sprawled out on the carpet, he sighed and continued to fiddle with one of his sister's toys. Feet swaying behind him while he lay on his stomach, he watched his dad sleep on the floor across from him, snoring with his arm draped across his bare chest.
"Hey, Johnny!" A loud voice cheered, walking through the door and startling him.
Rolling over to his side, John's brow furrowed and a finger went to his lips, "Shhh! Daddy is sleeping!"
Ignoring his grandson's declaration, George reached over and turned on the lamp next to the sofa, illuminating the room in a harsh light that caused him to squint before shielding his face with his arm. Rolling his eyes, he placed the stack of Styrofoam trays on the counter, "Morning to you too, sunshine."
Adjusting to the bright, Ricky grumbled under his breath and scratched the stubble starting to grow on his face, catching sight of the eyes peering back at him and chuckling at the boy in his underwear pretending a teething toy was a rocket ship, "Where did your clothes go, buddy?" John shrugged, making blast-off noises with his mouth.
"Probably the same place his dad's went..." George scoffed, putting a pot of coffee on.
Ignoring him and his blatant dig, Ricky rolled over and pushed himself off the floor, stretching through a yawn, "Ready to eat breakfast?" John nodded, following suit by getting up himself and making his way to the counter, standing there looking up at him. "Is mommy up?" Shrugging again, he took a seat next to his grandpa, swaying back and forth slowly while fidgeting with a spoon and singing to himself.
Using that opportunity, Ricky made his way into the bedroom, watching as she knelt over the bed attending to their daughter. Wrapping his arms around her waist, "Good morning" He kissed her neck, voice becoming slightly huskier as his lips trailed down to her collarbone, "You never came back to the floor last night..."
The baby on the bed gurgled watching them as Amy leaned her head against his shoulder, "Emma needed her mommy"
"Yeah, well daddy needed her mommy too..." He countered, sliding his hands down his shirt that hugged her hips perfectly.
Turning on her heel, she clicked her tongue and leaned up, meeting his lips with hers, "Uh huh..." kissing him with fervor until he broke for air.
Caressing her body, he sighed with a slight husk, "As much as I'd love to put our daughter in the crib and pin you against the wall..." His eyes were dark, kissing her softly, "Your dad is in the kitchen with our son, and that's not much of a turn-on"
Her eyes widened, her brow rising, "Yeah, no." Shaking her head, "No, that wouldn't be good."
He chuckled, "No, it wouldn't." Still hanging out on the bed, Emma squawked to get their attention, flailing her arms and beating her legs against the mattress. They both smiled before he broke away from her and climbed on the other side. "What are you so excited about?" He cooed, lying next to the baby.
"Mine!" Emma squealed and grabbed his cheeks with her tiny palms, blowing raspberries on his chin in response to his kiss on her nose.
"She's got you now, daddy." Amy stated with a giggle, "Good luck ever telling her no."
"Daja!" The infant squealed again, flexing her fingers against his stumble with a squirm.
Ricky's lip tipped up, turning his head, "Your dad brought breakfast, you should eat. I got this." Turning back to the baby, "Right, daddy's got this, huh?" He wiggled his body down a little and blew ticklish kisses across her partially clothed stomach, making her cackle while gripping his hair.
Amy giggled to herself, enjoying seeing them together again, knowing that little girl had him wrapped around her tiny little fingers for everything, and she was going to use that to her advantage down the road.
Feeling the pang of her stomach start to growl, she sighed and walked out of the room, pecking the top of his bedhead; eyes going wide at the glob of syrup her son was drenching his pancakes with. "Dad!" She scolded her father, taking the bottle from his hands, "You have to help him with syrup."
Shrugging his daughter's annoyance off, he stabbed a piece of his omelet, "Oh let the kid live a little -" just as they entered the room.
Seeing the plate in front of his son's face, Ricky dropped his head down, blowing a breath from his cheeks. "Don't look at me, blame grandpa" Amy put her hand up in defense, gathering a piece of hashbrown onto her fork.
Shaking his head, "Seriously, George! He's gonna be hopped up like the energizer bunny!"
Rolling his eyes again, George took his fork and started scraping the excess amounts of globed sugar into the other side of his container, "Problem solved." He huffed, looking at his grandson open-mouthed in protest, "They're no fun, huh?"
Furrowing his brow, John nodded and sent a glare up to his dad who slid his baby sister into her highchair before tousling his mop of hair, "If preventing my three-year-old from vomiting in my car on the ride back home is no fun, so be it." Grabbing the bottle of sugar, Ricky moved it further away from the other child's eager hands, and scratched his cheek with a yawn, "I'm gonna grab a quick shower" Pecking the top of Emma's curls, "Wanna get going before lunch and nap time to hopefully avoid bad traffic."
Keeping his gaze on the half-eaten omelet mixed in with hashbrowns, George waited until the bathroom door closed to glance up at her. Helping her daughter with the mound of scrambled eggs she was smashing with her fingers, Amy caught his stare and put her hand over to her mouth to shield her chewing, cocking her brow, "What?"
Doing the same, he pursed his lips, a knowing look on his face, "You know 'what'" Raising his fork to gesture to her attire, "That -" the t-shirt falling down her bare shoulder when she leaned forward.
A blush rose to her cheeks, tugging the fabric down to cover more of her bare legs, biting her lip, "It's just a shirt, Dad..." Staying silent, he leaned back in his chair and nodded with an uneasy look.
"W-oah! Mommy d-are is jus a choc-owate c-hip pan-cak too!" John shrieked with giddiness, eyes widening at the treasure waiting under one of the plain pancakes in the container.
She giggled at him, using the break of the tension in the air to slip out of her chair and grab her phone, "I'm gonna go call Taylor - see how she's settling in. You good here?" Her father cocked his head at her and nodded, waving his hand in the air dismissively.
When she was out of earshot, George looked over at the tot shoveling a large forkful of chocolate chip pancake into his mouth, "You don't buy that, right?" Shrugging nonchalantly, John took a big gulp from the sippy cup on the table. Shifting his attention, "What about you?" Releasing a shrill squeal, Emma wasn't paying attention, plowing face first into her smashed breakfast; bits of chewed eggs mixing with saliva caked to her thin fingers, making George frown, "Yeah, me either. Those two are up to something..."
"Jaja!" Was the baby's response, putting her hand out to her grandfather, causing the toddler next to her to grimace in disgust.
Stepping further into the spray of hot water, he ran his hands through the suds plastered to his dark curls. Unbeknownst he wasn't alone as he hummed a familiar melody softly against the warm pellets pounding his skin.
Turning slightly, he didn't even get a chance to speak before her lips were attached to his, grinding against him with need. Having no reason to protest, he took the passion and slid his tongue into her mouth, messaging hers with a gentle rhythm as a moan escaped the back of her throat. Hands roaming down her back before circling her bare body in a frenzy, he felt himself start to react to her advances. Her breathing labored, pressing him against the tiled wall of the shower before breaking from his lips, trailing kisses down his chest until she reached his pelvis, and slid down to her knees.
"What are you up to?" Ricky chuckled through a smirk, but before he could counter, his breath hitched in his throat at her starting to stroke him with her hand, circling her thumb over his tip until he was fully erect.
Amy smirked with a wicked glint in her eyes, "I'm showing you just how much blowing I did all those years to my French Horn in band class," Running her hand quickly over his length, "Think of it as punishment for your little finger tricks last night." His mouth opened to speak, but quickly snapped shut, his head falling back against the wall as she took him into her mouth; casting him into her spell and making him weak to her charms; moaning with his hand grasping strands of her hair.
She took her time torturing him, her plump and slightly swollen lips gliding in rhythm with his breathing; until a twitch of his hips drove him deeper into her mouth, and sent her hands to his butt, squeezing; the pressure in his spine building with intensity.
"A-Amy -" Ricky rasped through a jagged breath, pulling her hair as she lingered on one spot before getting to the pinnacle of his erection; sucking his release like she needed it to survive. All the while fire ignited in his veins and stars burst behind his eyes, spilling into her moaning and swollen mouth with rapid gasps of air. Removing his hands from her hair, he bit his lip and tried to steady his breathing. "Game on," He thought to himself, letting her rise to her feet.
Amy turned around, " Bet Clementine never got him off like that..." smiling to herself and wiping her lips with the back of her hand.
Sneaking in behind her, he started to kiss her neck, fondling her breasts until she was subdued against him. "My turn..." He hissed into her ear, biting down on the lobe, clamping his hand over her crotch and sliding his finger over her wet folds, smirking at the loss of conviction in the moan of his name. "You want me to stop?" Sucking on her collarbone, he added another finger with a gentle swipe that made her squirm until he sped up the pacing.
Shaking her head, Amy's hand rose to ravage his wet hair as he added his thumb; gently stroking her clit "Uhn - More" before rubbing the sweetest of circles. "I - Ah!" She arched her back against his chest, taking her free hand and grasping his, driving it further against her to speed up the process, and gasping in reward when he obeyed and pumped his fingers faster and harder, messaging her breast and pinching the nipple until she was panting, spasming and clenching around his fingers tightly.
When her arms dropped and her eyes closed with a rough breath, Ricky chuckled and slid his hands back up to her chest, biting her shoulder and giving attention to her other breast, savoring her moans as she grasped the back of his hair so tight, it started to hurt. "Ricky I -"
The sound of a toilet flushing cutting her off, and freezing them in place. His hands stilled, sucking in a breath so he wouldn't be heard. A light little giggle floated over, causing both their eyes to widen and her to clamp her hand over her mouth in embarrassment that their son, who didn't stand but 3 feet away, could see them through the thin blue and white checked curtain.
Closing her eyes, she bit her lip and tried to conjure up something to say, just as he quipped out, "We'll be out in a minute, buddy".
Releasing her grip from his body, Amy's mouth went agape, waiting until the door closed and swatting his chest, "Why would you tell him that?"
"What?" Ricky questioned, shrugging, "I had to say something, Ames! You know how inquisitive of a kid he is. If I hadn't, he probably would have opened the curtain, and then we'd have a whole new set of questions to contend with."
Covering her face with her hands, she cried, "Now he's probably gonna need therapy in the next 10 years!"
Shrugging again with a chuckle, he bent forward to turn the water off, "Meh, hopefully by then Dr. Fields will have group sessions and we'll all be able to go together to save time." Stepping out onto the bath mat, he raised a brow at her hesitation to follow, folding her arms across her chest and looking down. "It was just a joke, Amy. John will be fine. Heck, he probably won't even remember this by next week." She still didn't move, dripping wet, and starting to sniffle. "What's wrong?" A shrug as her response, she bit her lip. Taking a step forward, he brushed her cheek with his thumb and tilted her chin up to meet his eyes, "What's going on, Amy?"
Through another sniffle, she lowered her guard and her arms to her side, "I should have known this weekend was too good to be true -" Pausing with a swallow, "That this -" gesturing between them, "this was too good to be true. Us. Together again... You're leaving and I'm stuck here -"
Leaning in, he kissed her, touching her shoulders with his palms, "That doesn't have to change anything with us -"
"Yes, it does! You're going back home with John and -" Another swallow, burying her face in her hands "And... her..."
Ricky's gaze became soft, a swallow of guilt coming as he stared at her tear-brimmed eyes. "Forget about her. Forget about everything except you and me. And our family, okay?" Taking her hand, "Stay here and work the program - do what you have to do. If I fit into that picture, you know where to find me. I'll be there. But, if I don't, and you choose to walk away -"
Folding her arms across her chest, Amy's lip began to wobble, "That's just it though! I don't want you to have to choose! Because if you do, it'll just seem like you're settling for me because of our history..."
Grabbing the towel off the rack, he wrapped it over her wet body, closing the space between them, "It's not a choice for me, Amy. If you're ready, then so am I. But if you're not, and you want to just chalk last night up to two parents grieving the loss of their child, then so be it. Well, figure it out later." Pushing a strand of wet hair away from her face, "I'm not pushing you. After everything we've been through, the last thing I ever want you to feel is trapped to be with me again."
Encasing him with the towel, she sighed into his chest, whispering, "I don't deserve you..."
"No-" He replied, kissing the crown of her head, a break to his voice, "You deserve someone better than me."
"You gonna help mama?" She asked, tucking his foot into the small sneaker on her lap. He reached for the other one, grunting as he tried to wedge his other foot inside the space, and whining when he couldn't. "That's okay, mama will do it." Kissing his head, she completed the task and slid off the bed, planting his feet on the carpet. "Stay right there while mommy gets ready okay?" He picked up one of his firetrucks, zooming it across the metal railing of the bed, a knock sending his attention up.
Glancing at his grandson, he sighed, "Again? Really? Is it really necessary to go out again?"
Spinning on her heel, she pulled her hair over her shoulder, "I'm spending time with my son and his father - what's the big deal?"
"Don't you mean your boyfriend?"
"We haven't put a label on it yet. We don't need to."
"And you think this - this arrangement is really going to work?" George clicked his tongue, putting his hands on his hips, "Amy the guy won't even commit to calling you his girlfriend - you really think having sex with him again is a good idea?"
Grabbing a cardigan from the closet, she shrugged into it, keeping her voice steady to keep the anger from rising, "If Ricky isn't in that place yet, that's fine. He doesn't have to call me anything. We're just dating right now - nothing serious."
"Uh huh - so I guess if it's nothing serious, you'll have no problems calling him up and canceling?"
"Why would I do that?" She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, defiantly
Taking a step forward, he put his hand on his grandson's shaggy blonde locks, "How about because you've been out with him almost every night for the last month? You do have a family, you know? You, neglecting your family for him - a guy who isn't even capable of asking you to be his girlfriend - he doesn't deserve you... and I don't want to see my daughter get her heart broken again by wasting any more pain on him."
Now he had crossed a line, and invisible steam billowing from her ears as she released her pent-up aggression was about to show. Clenching her teeth, Amy balled her hands into fists, "One, he's not that way anymore, okay? Two, Ricky doesn't have to prove anything to you. He's proven to me, and John, that he's in this thing until it no longer works for either of us anymore. And Three, John can have both his parents together with him. He's happy, dad. Your grandson is happy!" John looked up at her, his big brown eyes blinking slowly, making her sigh, her voice lowering, "So I'm sorry, I don't care what you think of Ricky, or me and Ricky. We're happy. My son, his father, and myself - are happy. That's honestly the only thing I care about. It's all that matters to me." Wiping away a tear brimming in the corner of her eye, she knelt to the tots level and kissed his temple, keeping her eyes focused on the dimple in his cheek that matched his father's. "So thank you for caring about me, but you don't get to justify who deserves me until you, get to know Ricky. Really get to know him."
The back door opened roughly, alerting them of his presence before he even ushered out, "Hello?" The door closed before a couple of heavy-footed boot steps got closer, "Amy?"
Hearing his voice, John's eyes widened and his little hands started clapping with excitement as he squealed, "Dada!" And bolted in a crooked sprint out the door, only getting halfway down the hallway before he was swept up in a series of tickles that had him squealing and shrieking.
Amy raised her brow at her father, gathering up the plastic toys from the floor to take with them. George raised his brow back, a scowl on his lips, about to rebuttal just as he peeked inside at their standoff. "Hey, there you are - you ready?" Ricky smiled, hiking their squirmy baby higher up on his hip, "I think the little man is starting to get rowdy - and I'm starving." Adjusting her hair into a ponytail on the base of her head, she glared at her father and knocked into his shoulder as she smiled at them and kissed him quickly, linking her hand through his and walking out of the house. Happy.
A light giggle floated through the air, causing him to quirk a brow, "What's so funny?"
"You're um -" She continued to giggle, pointing downward to his southern hemisphere, fully staffed, "You're poking me..."
Following her eyes, Ricky let out an amused scoff, "Funny, you weren't complaining a few minutes ago..." Molding his mouth against hers, and very subtly shifting his hips to hit his tip against her.
Breaking their kiss, Amy growled into his ear, "I didn't say I didn't like it..." and wrapped her legs around his, letting him brush against her with a stifled moan, "One more for the road?"
Raising his brows, he gave her a quizzical look, biting his bottom lip, "Amy Juergens, you're a little crazy you know that?" Hiking her higher on his waist until he was rubbing directly under her.
With a panted breath, she nodded and kissed him, "Mhmm" Taking steps back until her back hit the counter of the sink, and without hesitation hopped up on it, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting his hands roam her bare thighs as she worked his neck and whispered into his ear, "And last I checked, you liked that crazy girl... a lot..." biting the lobe and grasping the top of his wet curls as she brought his mouth level with hers and closed the space between them.
"Granpa, why mommy jus n-ot eat-ten her ewggs?" He questioned, flinging pieces of egg bits from his sister's tray, at her with his spoon.
"She'll eat them later, Johnny." He grumbled, trying not to show the disgust of hearing his daughter and her ex in the bathroom. He wasn't an idiot, he knew what they were doing - and what they continued to do since he got there. It made him mad, and also very nauseous.
Emma screeched at their game, shoving the green plastic spoon in her mouth and grunting. John cocked his head, poking the untouched breakfast in front of him, "Why? Is she jus n-ot h-unwgy?"
The sounds were getting louder and the bile rising faster in his throat. He had to get his mind off of it.
Grabbing the container and scooting it across the table, "Something like that, sure." George scooped a large portion onto his plate, watching as his eyes widened and tongue licked his lips. "Here, you can have mommy's. She can eat your dad's." The baby grabbed his arm with a whine. "Are you still hungry too?" Her response was a hiccupping grunt, followed by an open fist of egg bits and saliva. A strong odor followed another grunt.
They looked at each other quizzically before John wrinkled his nose and scrunched his face at his sister reaching for him, "Ewww, Em-ma, you poo-ped!"
Tossing his napkin on the plate, George bent forward to gather her up just as his daughter returned to the room. "Just in time." He scoffed under his breath, giving her a pursed-lip look.
Taking a seat, Amy nodded and ran her hand through her hair - her wet hair, "Sorry, Taylor needed to vent." She also grimaced at the odor wafting through the room, making her nose crinkle.
John pulled on her shoulder sleeve, pointing to his sister blowing spit bubbles next to him, "Mommy, Em-ma potty-ed!"
"What's going on?" Ricky asked, returning to the kitchen just as she rose from her chair. The knowing look she gave him, coupled with the odor, followed by a loud cry, gave him the answer.
"All clean!" She cheered, strapping the fresh diaper onto her waist and cracking a smile at her daughter's mindless babbling against her hands. "What?" She cooed, touching her cheek, "What is Emma trying to tell Mama, huh?"
"Jaajaa!" Emma smiled, turning her head to the left, "Dada!" Flailing her arms, and gripping the corner of the picture taped inside her crib, "Hi. Hi. Hi!" Pumping her legs with a growl.
Amy's eyes widened in amusement, leaning further into the crib, "Yeh, that's Daddy and John - you telling them hi? You gotta lot to say?"
She squealed again, gripping the picture with both hands, eyes squinted, "Jajaaa!"
Stroking the curls on the side of her head, her lips pursed inward, a prickle in her heart at seeing her daughter cling to an image of her father and brother: The two most important men in her life, gazing back at her with frozen smiles. But it didn't seem to faze Emma, her green eyes zeroed in on that bent picture while a tiny little smirk crossed her face - after all, she was his daughter.
Her stomach growled, waiting impatiently for the microwave to ding and relinquish her overdue dinner. It was almost 9, they had just gotten John down after a tantrum regarding not being able to have chicken nuggets for dinner since they were out of them. Ricky had class run late, so she had to make him a grilled cheese. A screaming fit ensued, food was thrown, and a door was slammed, causing her to have to skip out on her own dinner to attend to all of it. And now that garlic chicken Hot Pocket with garlic crust - would be all hers in the next 14 seconds.
He was lounging on their sofa bed, trying to write a paper, while their daughter lay beside him so she could eat with both her hands.
When the ding finally sounded, Amy wasted no time grabbing the plate and blowing hard on the steaming pouch making her mouth water.
"Momma will be right back pretty girl, just hold on another minute." She heard him say to the infant trying to comfort her irritable fusses at having to wait for her bedtime nursing session. Taking a bite, she watched as he smiled when Emma let out a little coo in response, shoving her
hands into her mouth, "Did you like that? You like when daddy calls you pretty?" She cooed again, pumping her legs ferociously against the sheets. Ricky took out his phone, making funny faces and snapping a few pictures. "Who is that? Is that Emma?" He pointed to the image, his voice pitched even higher as she gurgled at him with those piercing green eyes. "Yeh, that's daddy's pretty girl, isn't it?"
Taking a bite, Amy nearly choked on his loud shout of her name from the sofa bed and gulped down half a glass of water before sprinting over to the couch. "What? What's wrong?"
He was beaming from ear to ear, his dimples showing on his cheeks, "She smiled!" Looking down at their baby and stroking her head with his thumb, "Ames, Emma actually smiled!"
Taking another bite, Amy frowned into her dinner, not wanting to burst his happy bubble by telling him it was probably just gas, "She's almost three months old - you sure it isn't just a reflex?"
He shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully, "No, it was real - here watch -" Picking her up, he brought Emma to his lap, and held her tiny hand while his finger petted her button nose, "Who's a pretty girl? Is Emma daddy's pretty girl?" Without hesitation, the baby smiled a big, toothless grin, cooing with wonder at him as he showered her with soft kisses, "Yeh, she is! Look at you, smiling!"
Admiring her soft babbles, Amy smiled and kissed her hand, "You enjoyed having Daddy and John here, huh pretty girl?" Emma grinned pumping her legs. "Me too." Tucking a curl behind her ear, "Hopefully it won't be too much longer... And we'll all be together again - how does that sound?" A squeal, followed by a big open-mouthed, slobbery kiss to the image, was her response, making her giggle just as a soft knock sounded.
He stood at the door frame, leaning against it, just watching them, "I think we're gonna head out in an hour or so."
Turning towards him, Amy nodded, "Okay, we'll be right there." Tucking her hands under her arms, she lifted Emma out and pecked her temple when she started to whine, "I know, baby - mama isn't ready to say goodbye again either."
Zipping up the gray bag, and slinging it over his shoulder, he tapped him and raised a brow, "Hey, buddy time to go - did you check your backpack?" John nodded quickly but didn't look up, too busy crafting a tower to be bothered with such a mundane ask. Emma sat across from him, with curious eyes, eager to destroy his creation. Ricky chuckled under his breath, "Alright, hurry up and finish because we gotta go. It's getting late."
Coming back into the room, Amy ran a hand through her hair, "Have everything?"
Pursing his lips, he nodded, "I think so, but given how our son has had his things strewn all over this apartment - who knows? Guess I'll find out when I get back home."
Giving a slow nod, she stilled his hand that was fighting with the zipper of their son's backpack, with hers, "I meant what I said, Ricky - about choosing." Closing her eyes, she swallowed, "Don't make a choice based on this -" Moving her hand in the air, gesturing to the space around them.
Putting the bag on the floor, he took her hand and met her eyes, "And I meant what I said - it's not a choice for me, Amy." A smile twitched on his lips, "This -" gesturing between them, "Isn't a choice. It's you, and these kids - Our family. Every time." He squeezed her hand, "Let me deal with everything else." Leaning forward, and kissing her softly, brushing his thumb across her cheek with a longing sigh, "Hurry home, I don't know how long I'll be able to handle not seeing my girls every day, again."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, nodding into his shoulder with a hiccup, "Thank you for coming here. And for... everything else."
Pulling back, a smirk came to his lips, brows waggling at her subtle innuendo
"Anytime." She reciprocated the look, pursing her lips inward and giving away that he knew she was thinking about their earlier escapades. Grabbing the bag from the floor, he tossed it on his other shoulder, tapping his son's shoes with the tip of his boot, "Ready to go?"
"No! I nw-eed bwuild my tow-er!" John growled, shaking his head passionately with a furrowed brow at being interrupted again.
Rolling his eyes at his defiance, "10 minutes, and then we're leaving, okay?" Ricky scooped the baby up and threw her in the air, making her cackle as he asked, "You wanna spend a few more minutes with daddy, princess?"
A tug to her jeans sent her gaze down, his big brown eyes peering up at her, "Mommy, will you he-elp me?"
Descending to the floor, Amy took a spot next to him and crossed her legs, taking one of the many colorful plastic pieces, "How many more blocks does this tower need, buddy?"
Taking a second, John put his finger to his chin in thought before grabbing the bag by his feet and shouting back, "All of dem!"
Her mouth opened slightly, feigning enthusiasm at having to sit there and listen to his choppy explanation about how the red and pink blocks can't go on top of the blue or the yellow ones, or else the tower will fall down. All the while setting her sights on them across the room: The brooding man's dimples were popping out of his cheeks, grinning ear to ear at their 9-month-old slobbery kisses to his chin, and shrieking with joy at just being held by him.
Amy felt a flutter in her stomach when Ricky spun them around and asked Emma where Mama was, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers.
They were those piercing yet gentle eyes that listened to her ramble at Bandcamp.
The same ones who marveled at her exhausted figure after just giving birth to their son.
That followed her movements in the school hallways with the same look every time.
That lit up whenever he was happy, and lowered when he was sad.
They were the same eyes that their son shared even down to the curl of the lashes.
The ones who cried pleading tears over her lifeless body in that hospital room, and wept brokenly over their child for months. Those tears were like tiny pieces of his heart shattering to the ground.
They held hurt and joy, pain, and love for his life, and their children, and even for her.
They were a warm pool of soft brown that speckled with flecks of yellow and made her heart beat faster each time they looked into hers.
Closing the trunk, he pointed to his son's mom holding their daughter by the passenger door, "Give Mommy and Emma hugs and kisses before we go." Obeying, John plowed into her legs, squeezing with all his little might. Amy smiled down at him, kneeling to his level and placing the baby on her knee where he gave her three hugs and two big kisses before his face fell and his hands went to his eyes, erupting in a cry. Sighing, Ricky put his hand on his shoulder, "What's wrong, buddy?"
Gulping air, the hiccups started, "I-I w-want mommy and Em-ma t-to c-ome h-h-womeee!" Throwing himself against her side and sniffling into her shoulder.
Glancing between them, she passed Emma off to her ex and engulfed their son into her arms, her voice barely above a whisper, "We're coming home soon, baby..."
His fingers locked tightly around her neck, not wanting to let go, as he hiccupped again, "P-pwomise?"
"I'll do better than that -" She countered, leaning back to look into his eyes, and wiping the tears from her cheek with her thumb. Putting her hand up, Amy folded all of her fingers down except one, putting it out to him, "I pinky swear - and that's the biggest promise ever."
"Rweally?" The boy sniffled, rubbing a fist into his eye. She nodded, taking his hand and putting his pinky up to link inside of her own, and placing a gentle kiss on it. He sniffled again, his voice soft, "I lov you, mommy..."
Embracing him again, she kissed the side of his head and scrunched his hair in her fingers, "I love you too, buddy. You be good for daddy, okay? I'll see you soon." With a slow nod, John swiped his cheeks accepting his dad's offer of his sister, and holding her tightly in his arms as Emma gave him slobbery open-mouthed kisses on the chin, making him giggle.
Taking the opportunity while their children's eyes were occupied, Ricky kissed her passionately, not wanting to stop or leave her again. When they broke away, he sighed and rested his forehead against hers, "I'll call you when I get in."
Caressing his cheek with her thumb, Amy nodded, "Drive safe."
Kissing her again, he squeezed her hand, "I will. Come home soon."
"Hwere, Mommy!" John piped up, lifting his elbows to assist in handing his sister back to their mother, who she accepted with ease.
Hosting Emma up higher on her hip, she watched them get settled into the car, giving them a wave for her to mimic, "Bye daddy, bye John!" Lifting her hand, Emma flexed her fingers, smiling as they waved back. "Bye-bye!" Amy's face fell in sadness as the Silver Hybrid left the parking lot, the baby on her hip agreeing with an irritable, fussy whine watching them go. Nudging her nose against her cheek, she sniffled, "I know, Emma... I miss them too..."
Shifting the baby over to her other hip, she rooted in her pocket for the key, surprised and a little annoyed to see someone sitting on her sofa, waiting - his eyes accusatory. Not having the mental bandwidth to deal with her father's blatant disapproval of whatever she did, she shook her head and sighed roughly, "Don't start!"
Feigning innocence, he put both hands up in surrender, waiting until the scowl left her face to speak, "Interesting weekend, huh?"
Shrugging, "I don't think interesting is the right word for it -" She took a seat on the couch, situating herself and the combative infant, comfortably, "But it was nice."
Pursing his lips, he nodded slowly, keeping his gaze on his granddaughter, "Just don't get too swept up in the niceness of it all, Amy - reality hurts."
Furrowing her brow, Amy gave him a quizzical look, growing angry with how cold her father was being to him, "Okay - what is your problem? You've been Ricky's number one fan since he proposed to me, and now you're treating him like you did before we started dating?"
"I don't like the way he treated you last night." George stated bluntly, his tone getting an edge to it, "Angry or not, no man should be allowed to say those things to my daughter. It wasn't your fault, and for him to blame you like that -"
Her hands flew up, gripping the sides of her head with her fingertips, eyes wild, "He knows, Dad. Ricky knows what he did was wrong, and he's sorry, alright?" She huffed, having to take a deep breath, "But you act like I don't share some responsibility in how he reacted. He was hurt and angry, and it's unfair to rake him over the coals because of it when he's grieving too!"
Seeing that his words had hurt her, he sighed heavily, touching her knee with his hand, "I know that - but Ames... I just don't want you to get hurt again, or any of your progress to suffer because of this - or him."
"It won't." She snapped through a sniffle, closing her eyes with a sad sigh as Emma puckered her bottom lip and reached up to her. Accepting, Amy brought her daughter to her chest and cradled her close, patting her back softly, "Ricky makes me happy, Dad." Emma babbled quietly into her mother's shoulder, her head shooting up and then crashing back down with a tiny giggle. "Even after all the crap we've endured... I still get butterflies when he looks at me a certain way..."
Watching his granddaughter cling to her mother, George touched her hand and cocked his head, "Is that why you slept with him - or rather continue to sleep with him?"
Her eyes widened, lips parting in shock, "How did you -"
"Oh please, you don't think I'm that stupid do you?" He scoffed, brow rising, "Ricky was on the floor in his boxers, you were in his shirt, not to mention his shower took almost an hour - which I could hear by the way -" Grimacing, he playfully poked her upper arm, "And your hair is still wet. Not exactly rocket science honey." They shared a chuckle before his gaze dropped again, and his voice lowered to a soft whisper, "Just... be careful, okay? Emma doesn't need a little sibling so soon after the -" Her eyes spanned up to meet his before lowering back down to her hands, tears falling down her cheeks. Guilt washed over him, and reaching for her hand again which to no surprise she recoiled again. "I just meant that just because Ricky is here for you now, don't let your guard down, alright?"
It was silent for a few seconds before her soft cries into the infant's curls could be heard, "You would have been such a good big sister, baby girl..." Amy whispered through a broken sob, "... Ricky said he wanted more kids in the future..." her lip wobbling as the tears rolled down her drawn-up cheeks, "What if I can't give that to him, Dad?"
Wrapping his arm around her shaking body, George rubbed her shoulder, "If Ricky truly loves you, and you love him, then it won't matter. You'll figure it out, together." Pecking her hair with his lips, he put his finger out for Emma to grab, a small smile coming to his face, "Cherish the two you do have - their health, their happiness - and enjoy them. They may be your only babies, or they may not. That's not in your control, Ames..." Stroking her arm, he pecked her temple, "Just focus on you. And healing. That's what we all want for you. It's why I'm here."
Nodding, Amy swiped at her cheek with her hand, lip twitching up a hare and snuggling into his side, "I love you, Daddy..."
"And I love you, Amy." He countered, wrapping his arms tighter around her, and chuckling under his breath when Emma lunged forward with a shrill squeal, not wanting to be left out, "And you too, monkey."
Sitting there in each other's embrace was comforting; her eyes closed in a moment of peace before she heard him 'huh' faintly
under his breath and followed it with a brow rise, "... The floor, really?" Not being able to withhold her giggle, she simply just offered a mischievous smirk and a small shrug - her way of reiterating not to knock it. Keeping his gaze on her face, George pursed his lips and tilted his head, shrugging with a quirked brow followed by another chuckle.
Switching lanes, he glanced up into his mirror, noting that the tot had been unusually quiet over an hour into the drive, "You okay, bud? You haven't said much since we left mommy's... Did you have fun?" He asked, turning the dial of the radio down just a hair, his brow furrowing in thought as the silence lingered. "Are you okay with all of this? With mommy and daddy living in different places?"
John sighed heavily, the book in his lap sliding down to the tips of his sneakers, his voice starting to crack, "Why mommy no wiv wit me? She c-an jus sleep in my bed!"
Sighing himself, Ricky gripped the steering wheel, "Mommy and I aren't ready for that yet. It's a lot more complicated than just sleeping in your bed, John." Another glance at him in the backseat, "The most important thing though is that mommy and daddy love you and Emma more than anything else, and do what is best for you."
With a quiet nod, it took only a few seconds before the sniffles started and a high-pitched whine filled the car, "I mwiss mommyyyy!"
Nodding, he took one hand off the wheel and reached behind him, patting his son's leg, "I know. But remember, they're coming home soon. Mommy made you that pinky promise, right?"
John rubbed his eye, his lips pouted, "Yeh..."
"Then we just gotta be patient and then... then we'll all be together again... We won't have to miss mommy anymore."
Taking time to sort through his complex feelings towards the situation, he stared out the window, and quietly mumbled, "Daddy... you jus lov mommy too?"
Ricky's brow shot up, unknowing how to respond to the blunt question. And then he remembered that John had caught them in the shower, and his perception of that must have brought the question to the front of his inquisitive mind. "What do you mean, John?"
Putting his hands above his head, he grinned, "Cuz you jus k-iss her!"
Blowing out a breath of relief that the tot was referring to the goodbye kiss they left off with - and not the tryst in the shower - he chuckled through a smile, "Yes. Yes, I did kiss mommy, but..." He trailed, trying his best to figure out how to explain to the 3-year-old the complexity of his and Amy's hesitation to just jump right back into where they left off, in a way he would actually understand. Craning his neck, he sighed again, "But mommy and I have a lot of stuff to sort through - and although I do love your mommy - we need to figure out some things if we want to be together again... and be in love..." Swallowing, he continued, "John - being in love with someone is much different than just loving them. Me and mommy used to be in love before mommy left... and while I'll always love mommy... mommy needs time to figure out her feelings about daddy before we can be in love again, okay?" Ricky didn't need to look up to see his son's response in order to know - the rough sniffle and a deeper sigh already told him how he felt about it, "Do you... do you want mommy and daddy to be in love again?" And while it hurt him that his son was hurting, diving back into a situation of unknowns, solely based on hormones or impulse, would inevitably hurt John worse in the long run if things didn't work out between him and his mother. So when John simply just nodded and pressed his fists into his eyes again while mumbled cries floated from the backseat, Ricky stroked his thumb across his covered knee and turned the dial on the dash up a few notches, "We can talk about this later, okay buddy? I'll turn up the radio so you can go to sleep for a bit."
Craning his head a little to the left, away from the screeching whines of the toddler pressed into his side, he shook his keys before jamming them into the lock; a look of confusion and concern crossing his face as it clicked open without sticking - meaning that it was locked from the inside. Furrowing his brow - because he knew he locked it with the key before they left - his eyes enlarged and he put a finger to his lips, putting the boy down on his feet and stepping in front of him in case someone was in the apartment.
Taking a few slow steps forward, while crossing his arm over the frame to keep his son back, his face immediately contorted in shock before turning to frustration at who stood in his kitchen. "What the hell?" He shouted angrily, a fist clenched at his side.
Stirring the wooden spoon in the pot on the stove, she jumped having been startled, her brows rising with a wide grin to match, "Oh good, you're back! I made dinner!"
Motioning for the tot to enter, he shut the door forcibly, an edge to his tone, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I just told you - I made dinner, didn't I?"
When the boy saw their unwanted visitor, he ran directly into his room, continuing his string of whiny protests. "How did you even get in here?"
Rolling her eyes, she shut off the burner, "Doesn't matter - sit. The spaghetti is almost done."
Tossing his bag to the floor, "No, it does matter!" Ricky ran a hand over his face, trying to keep from yelling, "I've been stuck in traffic for over 2 hours, and already had to contend with one tantrum - so I'll ask again - how did you get in here, Clementine?"
Shrugging off his aggravation, Clementine grabbed some plates from the cabinet, avoiding his angry eyes, "I may have... found the extra key..." When she heard him huff, she stilled from plopping the spaghetti on the plate, "Why does it matter? Do you not want dinner?"
"Can you just forget about that for a minute?" He responded, taking a step forward, "This isn't a good time! John left his bear at Amy's and didn't realize it until we were an hour away from home. So I'm already in a bad mood -"
"DADDDYYYYY!" A loud, ear-piercing, screech sounded from the hallway, making him sprint without a second of hesitation into the bedroom. John was on the floor, face pressed into his open palms against the hardwood, sputtering with harsh sniffles, "I t-tant f-fwind Tev- Tevinnn!"
She crossed her arms over her chest, raising a brow, "What the heck is a Kevin?"
"He is mine!" He yelled angrily, pounding a closed fist against the floor
Sighing, Ricky bent down to comfort the boy, "Kevin, is a little stuffed Tiger that John keeps under his bed -"
His loud sobs interrupting, he rolled over and wailed, "Tevin is jus gwone, dadddyyy!"
Picking him up gently, he ran his fingers over his head, "Hey, maybe you just misplaced him, buddy. Should we go look?" With a nod, "Alright, c'mon, let's see if we can find him." They stood and started looking, first in the bedroom, and then the bathroom, before moving onto the hallway and the rest of the apartment - shouting the toy names obnoxiously with each new place they searched.
She was getting annoyed, watching with rolled eyes at the child's persistence and his enabling of his ridiculous behavior. The food she made getting colder causing her even more frustration.
Searching the kitchen, they came up empty again until his foot tapped the trashcan peddle, eyes shooting up at her with a hardened, angry look, "What is that?" Ricky shouted abruptly, picking up the mangled remains of a tiny stuffed Tiger, with cotton dangling from his body.
Clementine's eyes widened but she feigned innocence, playing dumb to his accusation with a confused, "What do you mean?"
Closing the lid, he slammed the evidence on the counter, "You know what I mean! Why was it in the trash?"
Relenting, she sighed and nodded, "Okay..." circling around to the destruction, "I was vacuuming... and it... it kinda got stuck in the vacuum..."
His eyes shifted down, too angry to see her face, his voice weirdly calm as he said, "So instead of just telling me the truth - that you broke into my apartment and destroyed my son's toy - you chose to lie about it and watch me search?" Before exploding with a hard fist pound to the countertop, making her flinch, "What is wrong with you!"
Seeing the remains of his toy splayed out in front of him, John's bottom lip puckered in sadness, "Is - Is he swick?" He first looked over at his dad, who shook his head slowly before looking at her with a scowl on his face, uttering a loud, "Y-you j-jus a m-meanie butthead! I-I h-hwate y-youuu!" And taking off into his bedroom, slamming the door, hard.
Spinning on her heels, she became irritated, "Are you just going to stand there and let him speak to me like that?"
With a shrug, Ricky furrowed his brow, "You destroyed his belongings and then lied about it. He can feel however he wants. Don't stifle his feelings!"
Her mouth became slightly agape, "So you're just going to walk around and allow your son to tell people he hates them?" He shrugged again, fueling her, "We'll I'm not!" Stepping past him, she put her palm to the wood and started banging on it, "John - open this door!" His response was a growl and a swift kick from the other side, making her purse her lips and jiggle the door knob more.
Shaking his head at her, Ricky put his hand to the knob and lightly tapped his fingers against the wood, "Hey buddy - hey, it's daddy. Can I come in?" He heard him sniffle loudly before the clink of the lock, and pushed the door open enough to step through, putting his hand up to stop her from following, "I need to talk to my son - alone."
Waiting until his father was safely inside the room, John flicked the lock closed again and kicked it again, growling, "I-I h-h-hwate Temin-tine!" Before slinking to the floor in a heap of his own slobbery sobs. "M-mom-myyyy!" He cried out, fisting his eyes and taking short breaths between hiccups.
Ricky frowned, taking a spot on the floor next to him and rubbing his back soothingly, "I know you're upset, John. I am too. But hating people isn't nice. We can be angry, and sad, but we don't need to hate, okay?"
Not listening to his words, he slapped his legs with his palms, declaring, "I want my mommyyyy!"
"Well?" She questioned, standing by the stove with her arms folded across her chest.
Stepping out of the room, he shrugged, "Well what?"
"Did you get him straightened out?"
Furrowing his brow, he scoffed, "You're unbelievable, you know that? First, you blatantly destroy his favorite toy, and then you have the nerve to get angry at him for being upset about it?" Rolling his eyes, he took a seat on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Why were you even vacuuming, anyway?"
Tossing the spoon into the sink, "Excuse me for wanting to do something nice for you!" She shouted, whipping the apron tied around her waist, off, "You always say how you have no time for anything anymore since you have school and work, and you're always taking care of John and Emma. I thought you'd appreciate having your place cleaned!"
Not appreciating her disregard for his cookware, he rose to his feet, "By staying here all weekend without permission? You really thought that wouldn't make me upset?"
"I wouldn't have had to, had you actually answered a call or text so I could have told you!"
"I was with my kids -"
"And her!"
Throwing his head back, Ricky took a deep breath, "Yeah, and Amy, alright?" Running a hand through his hair, "What is your problem with me showing my children that I can get along with their mom? Hmm?"
Bunching up the apron, Clementine spiked it to the floor in a rage, "You can't be serious! How can you not see how much you even uttering her name, upsets me, Ricky?" Grasping the roots of her hair, she exhaled angrily, "How would you like it if I constantly brought up my ex, or went to see them? You wouldn't! So I shouldn't have to stifle how I feel about yours! Not when you blatantly ignore my wishes and go see her whenever you feel like it!"
Shaking his head, he spoke through clenched teeth, "Amy and I have kids together, it's different!" Shrugging out of his jacket, "I can't just cut the mother of my children out of my life because you don't like her! Nor am I going to!" Pointing at her with fury in his eyes, "You knew what you were getting into, Clementine! You knew from day one, that Amy was in my life, and I had important priorities! So you don't get to sit here and play the victim!" Closing his eyes, he flexed the tension in his hands, "Amy Juergen's is always going to be a part of my life - like it or not - so I suggest you either get used to it or -"
Her eyes went wild, "Get used to it?" Taking one of his son's toys from the bookshelf and throwing it across the room, enraged, "GET USED TO IT?!"
He put his hand up at her outrage, "Would you be quiet -"
"Excuse you?" She shot back, her eyes widening in disbelief at his reaction, "I will not be quiet! Let your son hear this because I am NOT going to get used to you and your ex - who LEFT YOU not once, but TWICE - spending time together! I will not get used to your kids telling me they hate me, either!" Pressing her back into the wall, she bent forward and pressed her head into her hands, letting the tears fall down her cheeks, "I shouldn't have to play second string in your life, while your ex - who honestly doesn't care about you - gets to just bat her eyes and pout her lips, and get control over everything in our lives!" She continued to cry, sniffling against the back of her hand, "She doesn't even care about your kids -"
"That's enough!" He seethed, not being able to rein in his temper any longer, but took a long, drawn-out breath, looking down at his shoes, "You should go - I've got class in the morning and I'm exhausted."
Raising her head, Clementine clenched her jaw at him and balled her fists into her thigh, mumbling under her breath, "All of this over a dumb stuffed animal! I'll get him a new one!"
Ricky's eyes snapped up at her, his lips pursed into a tight line before taking another long breath, "That's not the point, Clementine! You came into my home without asking, took something that didn't belong to you, lied about it, and now have insulted the mother of my children. I have nothing else to say." Leaning forward, he grabbed a pillow that had fallen from the couch and squeezed it, "And for your information that 'dumb stuffed animal' was a gift from his mom!" Shaking his head again, his voice became icy, "When Amy was in the hospital, after giving birth to Emma... John was having a rough time - nightmares every night, scared to death that something was going to get him since Amy wasn't there - So she gave him Kevin to put under his bed... 'Tigers protect people they love', she told him." He sighed, feeling for the ring on his finger that he no longer wore, "It was a gift Amy received from her grandmother when she was John's age, so Amy gave it to him, and he's kept it under his bed to keep Amy close to him if she couldn't be ever since." A tear fell onto his cheek, turning his back to her, "So, yeah, Kevin might be just a dumb stuffed animal to you - but to John? That raggedy tiger provides him comfort if his mom can't... And you destroyed it!" Turning on his heel, he sniffled and swiped his cheek, "It's ruined! And John's upset, and now I have to take time out of my day, and my life, to see if my mom can salvage what's left of him! So thanks so much for yet another sleepless night! Go!"
About to repeat himself when she stood unmoving, his phone chimed loudly. Reaching for it, he couldn't help the smile that came to his face when the image of them popped up: Amy had Benny perched on her shoulder and Emma standing on her legs, scrunching her nose - the caption reading, "Benny missed the car ride home, but he's safe and being loved!"
Watching his demeanor change almost instantaneously upon seeing his phone told her that there were bigger issues on the surface of this argument. And that issue was a certain brunette who she absolutely loathed.
Swiping her own cheeks, Clementine slammed her palm against the drywall, "This isn't about me - or that stupid Tiger... it's about her!" Scowling through a wobbling lip, her eyes filled with tears again, "You're not over her, and you're taking the fact that she doesn't want you, out on me!" Waiting for a response that didn't come, as he just stood there with his jaw clenched, she sighed, "Answer me this... if Amy came back tonight... and she came over here and asked you to run away with her, would you do it?" Her voice broke at the end of her sentence, trying to keep herself from falling apart in front of him.
Ricky was silent for a minute, moving his jaw around and staring at the floor before muttering a low, "I... don't know..."
Closing her eyes, she shook her head, "Yes you do. You know you'd say yes..." She waited again for his response, but scoffed at his silence, grabbing her purse and giving him a a glare as she stated, "So I guess we have a problem..."
Settling more into the sofa cushion, she cuddled against the tired baby tighter and wrapped the pink blanket over them. Emma rooted her head into her shoulder, fighting sleep with a few soft whines. "What do you think, peanut? Do you think Mama and Dada could ever be happy again? Hmm?" Amy asked, running her hand in soothing circles across her back.
Her head rose slightly, adjusting to lay on her other side before starting to suck on her thumb, "Da..."
"Yeh, dada!" She squealed quietly, kissing her mess of dark curls on the crown of her head, "You love your dada, don't you." Emma's little sigh of a response as her breathing started to even out, signaling she was on the cusp of falling asleep, made Amy's lip tip up. "You wanna know a secret?" She pressed her lips against her ear and whispered, "Mama loves your dada too..."
Adjusting against the small mattress, as his son's head laid on his chest - losing the battle against his drooping eyelids - he closed the book they were reading quietly. Pressing his fingers into the soft blankets, Ricky smiled at the way the hazy toddler kept scooting his body toward the middle of the bed. Knowing his leg was probably going to be pinned for another half hour before he rolled over, or woke him by moving, he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and brought the image back up. "Just a little bit longer, buddy..." He whispered against the tot's cheek, leaning forward just a hare to cover his body up and place a quick kiss on his forehead before resting crookedly against the headboard and closing his eyes.
What do you think this means for our favorite couple? Will they try to make a go of things for a second time? Stay tuned... ;)