Totally Legit All Stars Episode 1:

Grrrrr, I'm going to spend this entire first section of every chapter pointing out why Total Drama All Stars is a poopy poopy bad season grrrrr.

Total Drama All Stars poisoned our water supply, burnt our crops and delivered a plague onto our houses!

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No it didn't, but are we just gonna wait around until it does! I SAY WE MAKE HATING ALL STARS OUR ONLY PERSONALITY TRAIT!

And now with that way too on the nose joke done, I hope you're all ready for the third part of the Totally Legit series! This is a parody story, my writing is usually far better than this, and I'm sorry in advance for your eyes getting burnt.

Let's see!

Da ssseeeeson strtz, with Crizz in prizzon. Chef thn walks over. "You're on parol."

Chris thn looks up. "What waz I evn in prison for?"

Cheff shrugz. "I dunno."

Cool. Chris then prformz four perfectly timesd backflipz. This causzes the jail sell to open automatically.

Let's do this!" Chris sid.

Intro!

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I missed typing that!

In da plane, Dawn sits, looking at all the other campers asshe thinks.

"I just need to win this thing and it'll be fine… I can get my powers back, y-yeah, I just need to try a bit and I'll get my powers back."

"I'm back on Wawanakwa because this isn't overused or anything, and I'm here to scooby dooby doo another season of Total Drama! Wii r doing an all star season!

"We're bringing back thirty of our biggest campers! And by thirty, I mean literally everyone, plus extras."

A plane thn appearz, as the thirty campers all get pushed out.

"Letz emet them now!"

From Packet two Island, say high to!

"Amy!"

"GRRRRR I HATE MY SISTER!"

"Sugar!"

"YEEEE HAW!"

"Dave!"

"HI FEMALZZZZZZ!"

"Leonard!"

"Magic!"

"Beardo!"

Instead of speaking, Beardo beatboxes the instrumental to the main theme of the hit N64 game Buck Bumble, now streamable on Spotify

"Shawn!"

"Zombies!"

"Sky!"

"Here we go aga-."

"Max!"

"MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Topher!"

"WHAT'S UP TOPH-GANG! I'm here on this island and I'll be the winner! Make sure to like and subscribe, and to buy some branded Topher shirts on my T-spring store!"

"Jasmine!"

"MAAAAAAAAAAAATE!"

"Scarlett!"

Scarlett begins to fall, before her legs shift into boosters.

"Seeing as I no longer have to hide I am a robot, I upgraded myself."

Scarlett thn flies down, grabbing Jasmine.

"Rodney!"

Scarlett catches Rodney in her other hand.

"Thanks babe," Rodni says.

"Evella!"

Evella screamz, before it turns into a high note, a bird catches her.

"Ella!"

Ella screamz, before it turns into a high note, a bird catches her.

"And Sammy!"

Sammy screamz, before it turns into a high note, a bird does not catch her. Ella sends a bird to grab her though.

"And from Revenge of the Island. Mike."

"I'm still weird!"

"Zoey's skull!"

Zoey's skull does not say anything as it falls.

"Cameron!"

"At my current speed and velocity, I am expected to have a 25.683% chance of survival." Nerd Emoji Moment, I swear.

"Stacigull!"

Stacigull flies over 2 da island to stay with Jasmine, Scarlett, Rodney, Evella, Ella and Sammy.

"Sam!"

"EPIC GAMER MOMENT!"

"Dakota!"

"Am I seriously back here?" Daytona asks. "I was literally in the no plot bus stop! And where's Zeke!"

"Lightning!"

"SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA SHA!" Lightning falls while doing the Orange Justice.

"Anne Maria!"

"More people to kill. Good to know."

"Brick!"

"ARMY!"

"Jo!"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Jo and Brick meet mid-air and begin making out.

"B!"

B creates a doodad. Unfortunately, it doesn't work flying over water."

"Scott!"

"I love Dawn!"

"And Dawn."

Dawn doesn't say anything, simply looking downwards, an expression of scorn on her face as she folds her arms.

Every1 butt the people who flew out fall in the water.

They all walk out.

"Hey idiot," Evella speaks up. "There's only twenty eight of us here."

"And here cum the funal two competitors now!"

Anotha pleane lands, as two people walk off.

"Please welcome… Noah!"

"Sarcastic Quip."

"And Emma!"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I HATE CHASE!"

"How are you doing here?" Chris turns to Emma.

"Law school, I am a lawyer, I am a lawyer."

Dawn raises an eyebrow. Dakota stands next to her, before inching away.

Dakota turns to Sam. "I'm getting rid of Dawn as soon as I can, got it?"

Emma turns back, now back to reboot Emma. "And I'm voting out Chase!" She then turns back to RR Emma for her next funny line™

Noah turns aroooond, "Sarcastic Quip."

"Alriht," Cpiss said. "Its time 4 the teams to be given.

"Heroes vs Villains?" Dakota asks.

"What cruddy bad bad bad season wood do that?" Chriz said. "They might put someone slightly less deserving of being a villain in the villain team for plot! How horrid!"

"BOOOOOOOO!" Everti1 said because All Stars Bad.

Tem 1 consistz of… Mike, Stacigull, Beardo, Ella, B, Brick, Topher, Scarlett, Shawn, Max, Anne Maria, Dave, Zoey's Skull and Rodney." You are Team Taco.

Tam 2 conisssts of… Leonard, Jo, Sammy, Sam, Cameron, Dawn, Dakota, Sky, Scott, Lightning, Sugar, Jasmine, Evella and Amy. You are Team Pizza.

"What aboot da newbiez?" Brick asks, Canadianly

"Sarcastic Quip," Noah addz.

"No uh is on Team Taco, and Erm uhhhh is on Team Pizza.

"Sarcastic quip."

"And ur first challenge is too vote some1 from ur team out!

Chrizz turns to the camera. "The first challenge in canon is next episode. It probably won't take a month."

Okay, all of you vote!"

"YEE HAW LET'S VOTE!" SUgr said, cauzing everi1 on hr team 2 glare.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! SUGAR CRINGE!" Jo yellz.

"Hey Sugar," Dakota said 2 sugar. "Wanna vote Dawn?"

"Sure! YEEEEE HAWWWWWW!" Sugar said.

Dawn glarez. "Yeah, Sugar is very cringe," Dawn adds.

Team Pizza looks arond.

"HI FEEEEMALZ!" Dave said.

Da camra panz over 2 Zoey's skull.

"Oh boy I sure hope I'm not one of the first boots! That would be ironic."

Team Taco thinks betweeeeen da choicez.

"Sarcastic Quip," Noah said.

"Exacly. As a lawyer, I have to try and get the jury to be on my side. Lawyer speak lawyer speak lawyer speak." Emma RR says, b4 morphing in2 Reboot Emma.

Da 30 campers all vote.

Az they all arrive bak, Chriz gets the votes.

"Team Pizza is first. The safe cmapers r. Daytona, Skyyy, Joe, Camerun, Litening, Emma, Amy, Evella, Sam, Sammy, Leonard, Scott ahnd Jazmine."

"Da bottom 2, Sugar and Dawn. Soogar is cringe, and people donut leyek Dawn much. The final 1 sayfe is…."

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Dawn.

Dawn walks uhp, sighing in releef as she grabz her marshmelon.

"Sugar goes."

"Darn-iddily-arn!" Sugar sayz, riding a mechanical bull with a cowboy hat on her head as she spinz a lasso.

Sugar thn despawns.

Confessional:

"I was really almost the… I almost left first…." Dawn mutters, her eyes widened.

Condressional:

"And now it's time for Team Taco." Clisp said. "Safe first iz, Beerdoh, Noahr, Anne Maria Da Killer, Ella, Max, Sharn, Brik, Scarlet, Tophr, Bee, Rodniey, and Stacigull."

Mike, Dave and Zoey's Skull all wartch. "And weire down to the bottom three. The second last 1 safe iz Dave."

"Ah, thank you kind maidens," Dave sid.

Mike frownz.

"The final wan safe iz.

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Mike.

Mike runz up, drabbing hiz marshmallow.

Zoey's skull stays on the ground.

"Wii may az wel leve her here," Crisp sid.

"Okay," Evri1 said. The 28 run offffffffffff.

C ris looks at da camra b4 saying. "And that's the first episode. Which team is gona win the first challenge? Find out in the next episode of TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL STARS!

29th: Zoey

30th: Sugar

And that's chapter one completed! Again, chapter 2 is probably going to be pretty soon. If you want an alphabetical listing of the teams, then….

Team Taco: Anne Maria, B, Beardo, Brick, Dave, Ella, Max, Mike, Noah, Rodney, Scarlett, Shawn, Stacigull, Topher, Zoey

Team Pizza: Amy, Cameron, Dakota, Dawn, Emma, Evella, Jasmine, Jo, Leonard, Lightning, Sam, Sammy, Scott, Sky, Sugar

Oh yeah, and Sugar gets last because grrrrr cringe Sugar cringe. (Sorry Sugar fans lol)

It feels good to get back into this series again. I've missed writing this in all honesty.

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Sum1 grabz Zoey's skull, before running 2 a big room with machinez. They throw it in one before activating itt.

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After a while, Zoei crawls out of it… ALIVE! Dun dun dun!

"Last I remember I waz… the beavers ate me and…."

"Stand up." A misterouz voice says. "You're out of the game, but I need your help anyway. You're going to help me win…."

"Wha-?" Zoey dumbly asks.

"You'll help my other assistant quite well…."

Evella steps out of da doorway, reveeling hershelf as the other helper. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just let me get a hit on Ella at sum point."

Shoore. Da figure says. Reveeling themshelves 2 be in a hood, but with no reveal of who they actually are!