Clinking beer glasses, Link watched some of his fellow soldiers and officers drink merrily. One of them had finally earned their knighthood and had invited Link, already a knight for seven long years, out to a tavern, deep within CastleTown.
As personal Knight Attendant to Her Royal Highness, Princess Zelda of Hyrule and Royal Guard to the royal family, Link was far more experienced than most of his fellow guards in terms of general combat. He'd had to go up against Yiga and random assassins, as well as Lynels and Moblins; leagues ahead of those who simply stood guard outside the door and rotated every day.
Link sighed, bored already of the drinks being downed in one go and refilled at a moment's notice. He had resorted to merely sipping his mug while the others seemed to compete on who could get the drunkest the fastest.
Looking around the room, he could see the barmaids carrying trays of drinks and food around to the other bustling tables. Sometimes, he could hear the average drunkard throwing a punch, a curse or threats at other patrons, though they paid them little to no mind.
It was the sudden shouting at his own table that caught his attention the most.
"Oyyy!" One of the captains shouted, pointing at the youngest member of the group. "Linng isn't drinking!"
Too drunk to say my name already? Wow, new record. Link remained quiet as the captain prodded him further. He looked at the watch on his wrist, only 57 minutes had passed since they'd arrived.
"Drinkkk! Come on Alphaaa, have a drink."
Someone has to bring you dumbasses back in one piece… Link thought glumly, taking a short sip of his beer. It'll probably be me again. He deadpanned as one soldier attempted to shove a drink in his face, which, upon briefly glancing into the wooden cup, found it to be empty.
"Ignore him Link, he's drunk."
I couldn't tell… Thank you for the obvious. Link rolled his eyes and looked to the officer who was supposed to be helping him escort back the drunks to the Castle, only to find him almost equally as drunk. Great, I'm designated escort… He wondered just how little punishment he could get away with if he left the five plastered officers here by themselves.
I wonder what Zelda's doing… Link was willing to bet half his monthly salary that Zelda's daily prayers were probably more amusing than the clown show he was currently babysitting. She was probably tinkering with her baby guardian named Terrako or sitting in her small personal library with Impa. Standing guard outside her tower during a thunderstorm holding every metallic piece of equipment seemed more pleasant at the moment.
"I bagged one last week!" Link's brow raised as one of the officers next to him loudly proclaimed, though Link was positive it was meant to be a whisper. Being drunk and all, it was probably difficult to control their volume.
Oh great goddesses… Are they really-
"Her Highness' handmaidens really are the finest" Link wanted to vomit, but not because of the alcohol. He was really going to talk about Aki, the new handmaiden to the Princess? "Y'ever had one in the sack?" Link felt he should cover his ears, but he imagined that might look a bit childish for a 22 year-old. "The way them omegas clamp down on you-"
Mannerless slob. Link gagged inwardly, feeling compelled to ignore the rest of the conversation immediately as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Really had to do that here? In public?
Almost instantly, he could feel the eyes of a few patrons on them without needing to turn his head. He knew he should probably do something about the situation, but what? He could pretend to be drunk and people would ignore him, he could leave the bar and risk receiving punishment from the higher ups for endangering his peers, or he could hide.
Hide it is. It took no time at all for Link to excuse himself silently, standing from his chair and going straight to the washroom. As he walked, he could already see the stares of discomfort from the other patrons. 10 rupees say there's a brawl before I come back. He waited in the bathroom, rubbing his face with water and patting it dry. Before he could open the door, he heard loud tumbling and screaming outside.
"Shut up you bastard!"
"Get off 'im!"
Cracking the door open, he noticed the officer who'd been drunkenly boasting about Aki, on the floor with a fist colliding with his jaw. Link let out an accidental 'ouch' before sinking back into the bathroom. That's what you get Thompson… Link shook his head for a moment, propping himself up on the counter and humming to himself quietly. Have fun explaining that black-eye to the commander in the morning. He knew the commander wouldn't take lightly to the guard making the Knights of Hyrule look bad.
He'd probably also be called in to testify because he was the only sober one. Link shook his head. Get my coat. Leave. He left the bathroom, plucking his coat from the small booth and pulled two of the drunken officers with him, dragging his charges back up the long winding hill.
Was he going to get crap for leaving three soldiers in the bar in a brawl? Definitely. But was he going to tarnish his own position for staying? Definitely not.
"Lik" One of the guards mumbled as he dragged both up the hill, both of their arms slung over his shoulder.
"What Dikins?" He asked.
"Why didcha na halp him? Thomson go punched." He drunkenly slurred out. Link struggled to understand the drunk, but shook his head.
"His fault."
"Come on dicks!" Link kept himself from snorting as the drunks attempted to communicate. "Thomson deserve it! He's bein' goss!"
Link rolled his eyes as his two drunks continued their argument on whether or not Thompson deserved to get knocked to the floor into a sad mess. He struggled to hoist the two much taller men up, their legs dragging along the floor behind him.
"Can both of you try to use your legs?" He felt like letting them take a dip into the moat for a short second, before reeling himself with a deep breath.
With the two drunkenly apologising and attempting to use their seemingly useless limbs, Link found it marginally easier to assist them to the gate. Two night guards greeted him atop the hill with the most pitiful expressions he'd ever seen before allowing him entrance into the castle grounds.
Surely this counts as training right? Link silently wondered if he would be able to swindle the commander into getting him out of strength training in the morning. Lugging two 200lbs men around at his size was no easy feat after all. He was dragging around more than double his weight up the very sizable hill after all.
He quieted the drunks as he rounded one of the back trails of the castles, ones generally used by the soldiers to avoid the bustling Castle staff and any nobles who would be staying there.
Should I go get the other three? He debated with himself as he finally reached the barracks. He dropped the two guards against the barrack walls as he unlatched the door, and placed a brick to keep it open.
"Let's go." He heaved the two back onto their feet and dragged them up the three stairs, grunting heavily. Their legs limply dragged along the ground once again, nothing more than a few mumbles from the drunks in his arms as he finally got them inside.
The other three can find their way home.
Link quickly located their rooms and dropped them onto their beds, muttering curses to them before closing their door. Glancing at the clock on the wall, his eyes nearly bulged when he saw it was nearly two in the morning. It really took me an hour to bring them here from the tavern… A walk that normally took 15 minutes had nearly quadrupled.
Link knew if he returned for the other drunks, he certainly wasn't making it back before four and the usual wake up would only be an hour later.
A sleepless night if he went to fetch the other three.
I'll take the punishment. Link shook his head as he made his way out of the barracks and into the castle, past the sleeping night shift guards and climbed the stairs, a bit tipsy from his own drinks at the bar, and eventually made it to the residential wing.
"Is it true you abandoned the Sergeant and two knights at Thelma's last night?" The Captain of the Royal Guard interrogated him the following afternoon during lunch.
As he had guessed earlier in the day, when the Princess went to lunch with Impa, the Captain quickly pulled him into his office for a short discussion. Link bit his cheek to stop a small laugh from coming out.
"Don't you start laughing!" He could see the mirth and self control in the captain's eyes slowly fading. "We found one sitting in the moat this morning!"
Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, he repeated to himself like a mantra. In his defence, he was a small guy with limited upper body strength, and he wasn't supposed to be the only one dragging drunks back in the dead of night.
"In my defence, the Sergeant wasn't supposed to get drunk. He was supposed to escort the two others back himself."
"But I understand you also had designated charges? What happened to them?"
"I brought them back in one piece."
The Captain sighed and wrote down the details in his report. "Alright, I can't fault you for that, I suppose. What time was it when you returned?"
"Two in the morning?"
"That late?"
"It took about an hour to get back to the castle." He'd been essentially dragging two unconscious bodies the entire way.
He could see it in the captain's eyes; the want to smack his head against the desk as hard as he could. This had been the third incident—that Link was aware of—that involved knights getting drunk and causing a ruckus so early in the morning in the local pubs.
He assumed a thorough punishment in decorum would be issued later that day, and potential Stable duty would also be issued.
"Thank you for maintaining a level of decorum and professionalism last night…" He heard the Captain mumble under his breath. "By the goddess, I swear I could count the knights and guards with logical reasoning on my two hands…"
There's that many?! Link kept his mouth shut, but nodded.
"You're dismissed Sir Link, please return to your usual duties."
No punishment? Fantastic. "Thank you sir." Link bowed his head and left the office, mentally cheering.
"And what was that about, Sir Link?" He was greeted by Princess Zelda and Impa staring at him the moment the door was closed behind him. "Does this incident have to do with the pub trip you took?"
"Maybe."
"Impa was the one who found the Knight in the moat this morning." Before he could the urge from overcoming him, a quiet laugh erupted from his mouth causing him to slap a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound. "I would love to hear more details over my afternoon tea. Now come, Purah is waiting for us."
"So this… thing can emit waves of energy?" Impa looking at the glowing blue altar-like object in the royal laboratory.
"This thing is a guidance stone!" Purah shouted back. "Remember it!" She huffed at Impa's confused face. "We currently have three main ones. This one is our backup, but the others are in Hateno and the third is in Akkala."
Link sat back on the sofa, watching Zelda bounce around the room, her body shaking with excitement. Impa, on the other hand, was poking and prodding the stone with a calculating eye.
There was little he understood in Ancient Sheikah Technology apart from the deadly blasts the guardians occasionally let off during testing had taken about a week of standing around confused before Robbie, another researcher, surprised him by lacing a couch in the lab for Link to relax on while they worked for hours with the Princess.
While it was mostly used by himself and Impa, it was also occasionally used for coffee and tea breaks, and he'd even found Purah passed out on the thing, a blanket half-hazardly thrown over her as she snored louder than a Hinox.
He watched as they discussed something about ancient cores, the differences between the large ones and the small ones, and power sources.
"The terminals in the towers are giving off independent sources and we think we might be able to harness the energy to materialise the users to the top at some point, it's quite fascinating!"
Materialise? I think I'll stick to fighting…
He didn't miss the literal stars that appeared in the Princess' eyes. "That's amazing! Travel would be so much faster! It wouldn't take us ages to reach the springs!"
So no more three-day horseback rides? Link pouted silently. He enjoyed the camping trips he got to enjoy with the Princess. He quite enjoyed the looks of amazement she gave him whenever he threw random ingredients into his cooking pot for their dinner.
She continued to gush and smile as Purah proceeded to open a slot in the Guidance Stone.
She's so cute… He laughed to himself as she ducked her head into the stone while Impa held a small light in her hand. Her voice echoed light from within the short pillar.
"I must know where you found this giant core! Perhaps I can help you look for them on our next expedition!"
"Perhaps we can have Sir Link sniff out the cores for us." Impa snorted, casting a look his way.
Those smell like oil and death. No thank you.
"Oh that's brilliant! His nose is above average! Check it, Robbie's sense of smell isn't quite as good at hunting them down…" He could hear the hope in Purah's voice and he gulped audibly.
Am I going to be a guinea pig again?
"Oh please let me borrow him for a day Princess! Indeed to see just what his abilities are! He's a perfect specimen for my tests!"
Please say no… Please say no…
"Purah, you know the channels you have to go through to get permission. We're not doing it for you." Impa chastised. "We can't just lend you Sir Link."
"But, I don't want to talk to His Majesty." She whined. "Just let me have a bit of time the next time I see you both! Please?"
"We'll see Purah. You know, you can always ask him face-to-face… He's right there… He won't bite." He could hear the concealed amusement in Zelda's voice as she pointed in his direction. "If you want to do something with him, you should probably just ask him. He might say yes."
Thank you.
He watched the two interact before him. Purah fidgeted around, lowering her voice below audible levels and carefully glanced his way. Zelda seemed amused and laughed, nodding along with whatever the director said.
"Purah, tomorrow we head for Death Mountain to assist Daruk, so you're more than welcome to tag along." Were the last words he heard before seeing Purah bound up in happiness.
I am the next guinea pig. He sighed, shaking his head. He removed his boots and kicked his feet onto the sofa, laying down and closing his eyes. He knew they'd be busy on the Guidance Stone for at least another hour, and his limited amount of sleep from the night before was starting to affect him.