Note: This is an updated version of the story that I wrote early last year. It is mostly the same but with some tweaks and additions put in place to accommodate the changes established by the more recent productions of the franchise, most notably, the recently released Casagrandes Movie.
Shortly after her first day at middle school, a mentally damaged and vulnerable Lynn Loud Junior found herself a new 'mentor' of sorts. This man took her under his wing. He not only trained her to be tougher, but he also taught her his way of thinking.
One evening, when she was in his hangout, she was sitting on the floor by herself, sadly reflecting on her recent trauma, when he walked into the room and saw that she was not doing too well...
"Lynn, what's the matter?"
"Eh, it's nothing."
"Doesn't look like nothing from where I'm standing." he said. "Come on, tell me what's up."
Lynn sighed before revealing her inner thoughts. "It's just that... I still don't get why all those kids at middle school treated me like that. I didn't even do anything wrong!"
The man decided to sit down beside her and continue listening...
"They were such jerks! I was totally nice to all of them, and they just made fun of me, mocked me, humiliated me, and why?! I don't understand why they would even do that!" she continued venting.
He then spoke up and calmly replied "It's in their nature."
"What?" she asked, confused.
"Lynn, this is the most important thing I'm going to teach you. I'm sure all your life you've lived under the impression that you should be a good, kind, thoughtful person who treats others the way she wants to be treated. That's what everyone has always told you, right?"
"Yeah, something like that." she replied.
He then turned to face her and said, "It's all a complete load."
"Huh?"
"Lynn, you want to know something? I spent a long period of my life as a victim of bullying, and exclusion, and rejection. People are not good, Lynn. People are not nice... because being nice gets you nowhere in this world." he stated. "By their nature, people are cruel, aggressive, discriminating creatures that behave with hostility against those like us. It can be for any petty, dumb reason. Because you're the new kid in school, because you're on your own and you're an easy target, because you're different from them, because you're a nice guy and they like to prey on you for that... that's just the way people are."
"But surely not everyone is..." Lynn tried to argue, but was quickly cut off.
"It's evolution, actually. Different groups of our species have spent thousands of years warring with each other over petty little things. So, you enter a slightly socially awkward young boy such as myself into the mix, and what happens? They treat me like scum. They reject me." he said as his vocal tone and facial expression remained calm and level-headed, despite the words coming out of his mouth sounding increasingly hostile and angry. "Lynn, people are jerks, people are bullies, people are vicious predators that need to be neutralised." he then said as he stood up and sternly looked down at her.
Lynn just remained quiet and listened, both highly intrigued and intimidated at the same time by what her 'mentor' was telling her.
"Never allow weakness to show, Lynn. And never assume the best of others. They just make you pay for it. Like it or not, life itself is a competition. You need to get that in your head. Only then can I help you overcome this." he insisted. "Now... do you understand what I'm saying?" he said as he bent down and offered her a helping hand.
Lynn hesitated for a second, before considering that maybe he made a valid point. She accepted his hand and stood back up.
"You know? It may sound harsh, but I think you're right. If I'm going to save myself from being picked on, I'm gonna have to show those jerks at middle school who's boss!" she said aggressively.
The man just smirked as he could see his worldview was starting to rub off on the young girl. "That's the way." he said.
She was still a little unsure about what he was saying, but after falling victim to the harsh life of middle school, she was searching for a better way, and in her mind, she may have just found it.
The Loud's Finest Hour
Act 1: A Fiendish Plot
Morag, Joyce Crandall, Guy Grazer, the Miller family, Doug and Michelle, Vic, Bosley "The Bulldog" Bullworth, Hank and Hawk, Taylor, Pablo, Anderson, Chandler, and even alternate universe Albert/Pop Pop were all sat around the roundtable. They were all sporting devilish grins on their faces as they waited for Doctor Linnaeus to begin their conference.
Linnaeus stood up and spoke to her allies. "Good day, everyone. I think by this point we all know why we're here."
Morag then spoke. "Yes, those accursed Louds! They wronged us all! Like me, all I wanted was some peace and quiet, but NOOO!"
"That's nothing! We spent months planning to destroy all the cherries in Michigan!" Carly Miller said.
"But those ding dang Louds got in the way!" Jeff finished for her.
"Especially that dork, Lincoln!" Ryan then mentioned.
"Ha, Lincoln Lame? That's hilarious, you guys losing to him." Chandler mocked.
"Nah, squirt. He has a habit of doing people over like that! Anderson told him.
"Yeah! We totally ruled the school bus with an iron fist until that baby dork got everyone to gang up on us!" Taylor angrily recalled.
"Don't talk to me about that! He and that obnoxious family of his cost me my promotion when they got everyone in this backwater town to stop me from creating the sixth great lake in Michigan state! I lost my job after that!" Joyce Crandall then spoke up as they all began listing their mishaps at the hands of the Louds.
"They cost me my job as campaign manager to Mayor Davis!" Vic followed. "And all I did was encourage a little cheating and slander. I mean, it IS politics!" he then said before adding "Then if that wasn't enough, that stupid boy showed up again and ruined my scheme at the old folk's home, and then they came and made more problems for me at my resort!"
"They cost me MY job as a celebrity TV chef!" Guy Grazer then said. "Screw those Louds, and the Casagrandes, too!"
"What are you guys complaining about? I was a tour guide for the dang White House!" Bosley said. "But I got demoted down to… *shudder* state government level. The President's given me the cold shoulder ever since those dumb Louds came to tour the place."
"They humiliated us in the middle of a concert and made us look like jokes in the music business!" Doug said as Michelle nodded beside him.
"They humiliated us like chumps on Halloween!" Hank and Hawk angrily shouted in unison.
"Yes, yes, you've all expressed disdain with the Loud family. Heck, as it turns out, their vexatious meddling isn't even exclusive to this reality." Linnaeus then informed them.
"What are you talking about, doc?" Jeff asked her.
"Well, I've recently mastered the science of traveling between universes, and it turns out our own universe's Loud family has even managed to extend their influence all the way to poor old Albert here. Luckily for him, I was able to help him escape confinement and come back into this world with me." she then pointed at the bitter old man in the wheelchair.
"That's what was bugging me!" Chandler then realised. "Aren't you like their grandfather or something?"
"No, the Louds of this world have no relation to me." ALT-Albert replied. "Those little runts traveled across realities to my world and ruined it! Now I'm here to return the favour!" he sinisterly explained.
"His accomplishments were actually quite fascinating. His former company had even managed to craft technology remarkably similar to some of my own. For example, some of what he had made struck great resemblance to my power suits." Linnaeus explained.
"Oh, you mean like the one that you put on that aggressive red-haired kid in the Astonishing Quest?" Jeff asked.
"Exactly! Speaking of which..." Linnaeus replied as a familiar face then appeared before the other antagonists.
It was Babs Bestie, looking as tough and as brutish as ever, with a stern and focused expression on her face, as she walked in and stood beside Dr Linnaeus.
"Her again?!" Carly questioned.
"Didn't she cause enough trouble for us last time, doc?!" Jeff argued.
"Yes, Subject 927 did prove somewhat difficult to handle at the time, but that should be no problem now." Linnaeus answered.
"What makes you so sure?" Ryan asked, rubbing his cheek as he strongly remembered the time Babs knocked him out with a nasty punch.
"Because Albert here aided me by providing a mind-controlling earpod that does exactly what it says on the tin. She is now under my command, and will not disobey me this time."
"Well, as long as you're sure. She'll certainly prove a valuable warrior at our disposal, that's for certain." Jeff said.
"And she's not the only brutish soldier we have under mind control." Linnaeus then added as a big, burly man with long black lockets walked into the room.
"Who is he?" Vic asked.
"This is Ham Hand. The henchman of Fifi Dufus. Unfortunately, Fifi refused to be a part of our faction because she wanted revenge on the Louds all to herself, so we took her out of the equation. But her henchman was a valuable ally to have in this conflict, so I used the same earpiece technology that I used on Subject 927 to 'convince' him to help us. He will prove useful when the time is right."
"Well, then. It sounds like we have more than enough muscle and brains between us to finally beat those dumb Louds, once and for all!" Guy said.
"Precisely. We're going to need every bit of help we can get. We all know how formidable those Louds can be when they're truly motivated." Linnaeus claimed. "But this time, they won't know what hit them! They'll just be prattling along with their everyday lives, and then suddenly... they'll all be in peril!" she menacingly declared as she opened a small portal, which Babs then entered.
And sure enough, the Loud family was just getting on with their lives, completely unsuspecting of the plot that was being concocted against them. Lincoln, for example, was hanging out at the arcade with his friends...
"Come on, Clyde! Let's see who can get the most points on Smack-A-Troll!" Lincoln challenged.
"You're on!" Clyde accepted.
"I'll go first." Lincoln said as he started playing.
"Hey, Rust Man. Wanna go on the plane flying game?" Zach asked.
"Sure." Rusty said.
Liam was also playing on the hoisting machine while Stella was on the basketball machine, throwing hoops at the net.
Luna and her band were performing at the Burnt Bean for all their local fans, including the likes of Scoots and Mr Grouse. Luna sang her heart out as usual while her bandmates performed on their instruments with excellent precision.
"Rock and roll is running through my veins (hey, hey)"
"Electric soul like wires to my brain (hey, hey)"
"Oh, they're singing 'Play it Loud'. That's their best song!" Scoots said as she nudged Grouse in the shoulder, much to his irritation. "WOO!" she shouted.
"Play it loud! Play it loud!"
"I got no time for turning it down"
"Play it loud! Play it proud!"
"I live it, I breathe it"
"Don't tell me I don't need it now"
Pop Pop and Myrtle were also sitting in the audience, supporting their granddaughter and her friends.
"That's my granddaughter up there!"
Luan was still working alongside Benny at the Burpin' Burger as a 'Heidi Heifer', throwing around the arrow sign... and cracking a few jokes to oncoming customers along the way.
"Come on down to the Burpin' Burger. Hey... the burger was leading the fast-food race, until the hotdog mustard up the energy to ketchup, and emerged the clear wiener. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it?" she said as a customer drove by.
"What do you call someone who gets gassy from fast food? Lactose McTolerant. Ha ha ha ha." she said as another customer drove by.
Her manager Andre, and her boyfriend AKA the assistant manager Benny, both saw her working from inside the restaurant through the window.
"Well, I've got to say, Luan has come in handy these past couple of months, since Otis started getting that string of bad luck injuries that keep putting him in casts." Andre said.
"Thanks, sir. I'm glad she's fitting in around here." Benny replied.
"Though, it would help if you told her to lay off a little on the puns." Andre added.
"Aw, come on, sir. They're not so bad..." Benny tried to say.
They then heard Luan's next pun as a few more customers pulled into the drive-by. "You know? I should stop telling fast-food jokes. They never McSense. Ha ha ha ha ha."
"Okay, point taken. I'll tell her to tone it down a notch." Benny admitted.
Lucy was partaking in one of her many funeral service obligations. This time, she was holding a funeral for the Yates children, as their pet rabbit had sadly passed on. "For the time he spent on this earth, Robin the rabbit was a cherished member of the Yates family. His loss has been felt, and he will be missed dearly." she said as the Yates siblings tried to hold back their tears.
Their parents watched Lucy perform her duties from the back of the room. An impressed Mr Yates briefly whispered to his wife, "She's good. Maybe we should hire her when Aunt Peggs eventually kicks the bucket. Lord knows her health isn't all that great these days." Mrs Yates subtly nodded in agreement.
"And now, we complete the ceremonial flushing of the toilet. Robin's physical essence will now depart from this world to join with his soul in the underworld. " Lucy said as she flushed the chain, only for the toilet to clog.
"Nice going, Bumper! Now he's stuck in the toilet!" Beatrix berated her younger brother.
"Me?! The toilet flushing thing was Belle's idea!" Bumper argued, which sparked an intense debate between the "perfect" Yates children.
Lucy just facepalmed herself and said "Sigh" loudly as her funeral had suffered a little setback. "I guess I should call Lana to unclog it." she then stated.
Back at the Loud household, the siblings present suddenly heard someone knocking on the front door. Lana walked over and answered it.
"Hey." said a familiar face.
"Oh. Hi, Babs." Lana replied. "Lynn's not here right now."
"Really?" Babs asked.
"That is correct." Lisa confirmed. "To my knowledge, she is participating in a relationship-strengthening activity."
"Huh?" Babs responded.
"She means Lynn is out on a date." Lola said.
"Is that right? Never figured Lynn was the type." Babs claimed.
"Neither did we, to be honest." Lola remarked.
"Still, maybe it will bring out her inner romantic side." a hopeful Leni chipped into the discussion.
At that moment in time, Lynn really was on a "date"... though her version of dating was throwing down hard on the field with her new ruffian boyfriend. After meeting Maxie Cooper at a fancy party while he was acting as a security enforcer, the two decided to get together and accept the "sparring" offer Maxie proposed at the time.
Maxie approached Lynn, but she expected him to come forward and instead performed a leg sweep, flooring the larger boy.
"Come on, you can do better than that!" Lynn challenged him as she stood and waited for her opponent to get back up.
Romantically invested in each other they might have been, but that didn't mean they were taking it easy. The two young tough teens were having a fairly intense round of wrestling in the park as random civilians walking their dogs went past them with very surprised and weirded-out looks on their faces.
Maxie went for a takedown, but Lynn sprawled. She tried a chokehold, but Maxie then reversed it and pinned her down. Lynn attempted a triangle choke, but Maxie instead picked her up and power bombed her on the ground.
*WHAM*
"Oof!" she cried.
"Had enough?" the blonde boy asked.
"Pfft. Are you kidding? This is just a warm-up for me." she bragged as she quickly sprung back to her feet.
Both fighters then charged at each other again, but this time Lynn was ready. Using her opponent's weight against him, she grabbed an approaching Maxie around the waist, and allowed herself to fall backward while pulling him with her. She then placed her foot on his abdomen as she rolled back and managed to flip her boyfriend into a nearby tree.
"Ugh!" Maxie muttered. "Good one." he then complimented her before standing back up.
"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself." Lynn replied as she started to sweat. "Hope you're ready for more."
"Oh, I've got plenty more left in the tank." Maxie said back as he too began to sweat a little.
The two then grappled up close as they both grabbed each other's hands and tried to overpower the other. However, while there was certainly aggressive tension between the two at that moment, there was also another kind of tension, and they could certainly feel it.
"Well, just tell her I dropped by." Babs said back at the Loud house. "Oh, and also tell her that I gave you guys this." she then said as she handed Lana a brochure leaflet.
"What is this?" Lisa asked.
"Eh, just something the mailman left at my house. I just thought maybe it would be something you guys would be interested in."
"Ensnared?" Lana questioned as she took a look at it.
"I don't know. That's just the name of the place. Don't ask me why they called it that. Anyway, tell your sister I dropped by." Babs said as she walked out. "Oh, and tell Lynn I'm hoping she's man enough to give me another rematch soon."
"Bye." Leni waved her off and closed the door.
"Isn't that just a little peculiar? Babs Bestie walking all the way down here just to give us a leaflet?" Lisa pointed out.
"She just wanted to talk to Lynn about another rematch or whatever. She didn't know she wasn't here." Lana guessed. "Though I guess she could have phoned to check first."
"Thinking probably isn't her strong suit." Lisa commented.
"Ugh!" Lola muttered. "Those two ruffians! Can't they ever stop brawling it out?"
"Yeah, because you're such a pacifist." her twin then sarcastically snarked back.
"Hey! I resent that!" Lola said angrily, before lowering her voice so she could appear more calm and try to prove her twin wrong. "There's an important distinction between being able to defend yourself and being a ruffian."
"Well, I think it's nice that Babs is such a close friend of ours now." Leni said.
"To think, it was less than a year ago that you defeated her in the Astonishing Quest, Leni." Lisa recalled.
"Yeah, but she's moved on from all that, right?" Leni replied.
"I guess so." Lana said, just as she heard her phone ringing. "Ooh, I'd better take this." she said as she walked off.
"It's a good thing, too. Let's face it, we Louds have probably made more than our fair share of enemies over the years. We don't need anybody else holding a grudge against us." Lola claimed.
"Yes, I believe it is probable there are many individuals out there who are out for our blood..." Lisa predicted, though she didn't know just how right she truly was.
Lincoln stood there in the arcade as Liam and Clyde tried to beat the record on the dance machine.
"As soon as they're done, we're going next." Zach said to Rusty.
"Totally, and we're gonna ace it!" Rusty replied as the two besties high-fived each other.
"You know? I remember when Lori's boyfriend Bobby used to live here. Apparently, he knew this special dance sequence that helped him almost break the record on that thing dozens of times." Lincoln said to Stella.
"Oh? Well maybe you could call her, she might know what it is. Then you'd be in with a shot of getting the high score." Stella replied.
"Good idea. I'll be back in a minute." Lincoln said as he walked out of the building with his phone and called his sister.
"Hi, Lincoln." Lori answered.
"Lori, you remember when Bobby used to live in Royal Woods, and he almost broke the record on the dance machine in Gus' Games and Grub... do you know what sequence he used?"
"Ahh, there was a time I intentionally remembered everything Bobby did..." Lori began to romantically remember her early days with her boyfriend, before snapping out of it. "And yet, I still don't remember that. Sorry."
"Eh, I knew it would be a long shot, anyway."
"Actually, I'm glad you called. I was going to make it a surprise, but I guess I might as well tell you. I booked myself a few days away from Fairway. I'm coming home for the rest of the week." Lori then revealed.
"Wow, that's great!" Lincoln said excitedly.
"Yes, I'm leaving the nice, peaceful, tranquil Fairway so I can return to the frantic, chaotic house of the Louds. I must be crazy." she light-heartedly joked. "But seriously, I'm hoping things will be relatively 'normal' while I'm back."
"Eh, I don't see why not. I think this next week could be a rare break from chaos for the Loud family." Lincoln naively predicted.
Back at the villains' hideout, Dr Linnaeus and ALT-Albert briefly spoke in one of the former's private experimentation rooms once their meeting with the others had concluded.
"So, I take it there's more to this whole arrangement than meets the eye?" the old man in the wheelchair asked.
"Of course, like we would set this whole thing up just for the sole purpose of getting one over on the Loud family." Linnaeus replied.
"Then I take it there's a larger scheme at play here. May I ask what it is?"
"Let's just say our leader intends to change the world as we know it forever."
"Change the world, huh? In what regard does he intend to do that?" ALT-Albert questioned.
"Hmm, I guess there's no harm in telling you. After all, you seem like a man who shares our sense of vision and ambition, unlike some of the other imbeciles in this alliance. You see…" Linnaeus began to explain.
Elsewhere, Sisiki and Chipiri were still weak and unable to stand. Punguari, still wearing the Mask of Many Faces and in her Full-God mode, had transported them to a large grassland realm with bright orange skies. She let her weakened parents lay on the ground and rest after their fateful battle. She looked worried for them as she then turned away and looked at the distant sun in the sky…
"Don't worry, mom and dad. I'll fix this. But I'll need help just like I did last time. Ronnie Anne and her family will help me…" she said with a determined look on her face as she clenched her fist. "And I remember her telling me something about another family that might be able to help, too."
She then pulled a small photo out of her dress pocket, which was an image of Ronnie Anne hanging out with a close friend of hers… Lincoln Loud.
Author's Footnote:
As those of you who already read version 1 of this story can probably tell, nothing has substantially changed, other than a new scene and some slightly altered/added dialogue. Then again, this is an update of that story, rather than a completely new one. Of course, the later chapters will have some more significant changes and additions, but that's something to look forward to then. For now, just enjoy the slightly edited new version of "The Loud's Finest Hour". The next part will be uploaded... soon. XD