I awoke with a start, in an environment even more alien than the one I'd just left.
I was in a cave, sitting propped up against a wall. Looking down, I saw my now much larger body was covered in thick armour plates, painted black and grey, the colours of the Sons of Antaeus. I also saw a pile of equipment in the corner – my equipment now. It was everything I'd asked for, including a large staff with two curved horns protruding from the top. I immediately recognised it as the Staff of Ahriman, though I felt it before I saw it. My new Warp senses, as undeveloped as they were, still showed it to me as it truly was – a tool of immense, yet evil, power. I could feel it drawing in ambient energy from the Immaterium, a reservoir of psychic power to draw upon whenever I needed it.
I was drawn from my examination of the staff when I heard a female-sounding voice shout "Hello?"
I was greeted by a tall, brown-haired woman, clad in light blue power armour, presumably a 3rd generation Mjolnir suit. She looked similar to the image in the Catalogue; more beautiful, though with harder, more chiselled facial features, the odd scar here and there not detracting from her appearance in the slightest. The biggest giveaway was the number 87 on her chestplate.
"Kelly-87, I presume?", I asked. It was strange to hear a new voice come out of my mouth, much deeper and gravellier than before.
She nodded. "And you are?"
I was surprised to hear she had an English accent. I hadn't played the later Halo games, so I guess I'd assumed all the human characters were American.
"I am… not sure", I replied. Given my circumstances, it didn't feel right to use my old name.
"You don't know who you are?" Kelly asked, sounding some combination of confused and amused.
"Just a moment", I said as I went through the strange experience of remembering someone else's memories.
The overwhelming majority were Ahriman's, of course. I would… remember those later. I instead examined the memories of the man whose body I now inhabited. It had cost me 5 credits to buy Memoria, but it felt wrong to take over someone else's body without knowing who they were. Any useful memories were a nice bonus.
After a couple of seconds of mental searching, I found what I was looking for.
"Amedeus… my name is Amedeus."
"That's not your real name, is it?" Kelly replied.
"It is now", I said with conviction, climbing to my feet – a surprisingly difficult task in terminator armour. "It's not my original name, but that doesn't seem relevant anymore. So for now, call me Amedeus."
"And my name is Cortana, thanks for asking everyone", said a voice emanating from my Company device.
Picking up the device, I saw a small, blue hologram image of my new AI companion.
"Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss overly snarky AI. I'd hate for you to feel left out now."
"Hey, I'm just making sure you aren't as humourless as you look. I don't want Kelly and I getting bored in your company, ok?" Cortana replied.
I laughed. "Well, I'm not a professional comedian or anything, but I'll see what I can do. At least I won't have to worry about boredom for the foreseeable future."
I stood up, reaching for my new equipment, putting the sword and shield in my pocket storage. "Before we go any further, I should ask; how much do either of you know about your current circumstances?"
"Not a lot", Kelly replied. "I have no idea where we are, beyond the fact we're in a cave. As to how… I know it relates to something called the Waifu Catalogue, somehow."
I nodded. "If you know that name, then you must surely be aware of its implications?"
"Yes, I am", Kelly replied, keeping her expression neutral, though I could feel her embarrassment radiating through the Warp.
"Well, there's no need to rush into things", I said. "We've got some important stuff to take care of first."
"Such as?" Cortana asked.
"Acquiring a ship capable of faster-than-light travel, mainly. I don't fancy being stuck on a backwater desert planet for the rest of my life."
"Will that be difficult?"
"Shouldn't be", I said with a shrug. "As you'll soon see, they're pretty common around here, so we could always buy one if need be. Though it'd probably be quicker to steal one."
"You didn't strike me as the thieving type", Cortana replied.
"This planet isn't part of the galaxy's main polity. Smugglers, slavers, and various other criminals stop by here regularly. I won't lose any sleep over stealing from them."
"Sounds like we'll be doing everyone a favour by stealing from slavers", Kelly said, looking determined.
"Exactly. You game?"
She nodded, grabbing her helmet and weapons as we headed out of the cave.
I took a lungful of fresh air as I stood outside. I had once, in my previous life, visited Arizona whilst on holiday in America. I wasn't surprised to see that the rocky outcrops here looked almost exactly the same as there, only more yellow than orange.
"There are two suns?" Kelly said, squinting at the sky.
"Apparently so. I wouldn't have thought this world would have a stable orbit, but what do I know? I'm not an astrophysicist."
"I think I can see a town over there", Kelly said, pointing at a few sand-coloured blobs on the horizon.
I tentatively extended my Warp-sight toward the blobs, feeling for signs of life. I hadn't had the chance to examine Ahriman's memories in detail, but it came to me instinctively – instincts that Ahriman had honed over millennia. Sure enough, I felt the souls of the town's inhabitants, burning like candles against the backdrop of the Warp.
"Yes, it is, and quite a sizable one as well. We should be able to 'borrow' a ship from some slaver scumbags there."
"A shame we won't be able to get there before nightfall", Kelly replied. It was difficult to tell the time of day with two suns in the sky, but it seemed to be late afternoon.
"We can", I said. I hadn't anticipated my first serious use of psykery would be something as risky as teleportation, but it wasn't like we were going very far.
"How?", Kelly asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Stand perfectly still", I said, grabbing her shoulder with one hand and holding my staff with the other. Drawing upon the infinite, arcane energies of the Warp, I created two vortices, one here, one just outside the town. With a crack of blue lightning, we were shunted directly through the Warp, from one multicoloured vortex to another. Kelly squeaked in surprise, but I didn't let that break my concentration; if I failed to shield us from the Warp for even a nanosecond, we'd be exposed to whatever dregs of the Gods of Chaos existed within this galaxy.
Fortunately I didn't have to concentrate for very long. Quicker than I could blink, we moved from outside the cave, to behind a hill just outside of town, shielding our arrival from view.
"What was that!?", Kelly gasped, shocked despite her attempts to suppress it. I felt a slight bit of gratification at throwing a Spartan completely off-balance.
"You telling me the UNSC hasn't invented teleportation yet?", I said jokingly.
Kelly shook her head. "The Forerunners did, but it doesn't resemble what you just did."
"Not surprising. I presume theirs involves sending stuff through slipspace. My method is totally different", I replied.
"Look, Kelly, Cortana. I realise you both must have a shitload of questions for me, regarding your present circumstances. I promise, as soon as we have a free moment, and are somewhere secure, I will explain everything to you, ok? For now, I'm afraid you're just going to have to trust that I know what I'm doing."
They would trust me, of course; them being part of my retinue ensured that. Still, I knew how I'd feel in their position, and I didn't want to make things too stressful for them.
"You know I'm gonna hold you to that, right Ame?", Cortana said. Kelly just nodded.
"Ame?" I said, incredulous. Thinking for a second, I said, "You know, that's actually a pretty decent nickname. Abbreviation. Whatever. Feel free to call me that instead."
"Lead on then, Ame", Kelly said, having regained her composure, smiling slightly.
None of us said anything as we wandered into town, too busy absorbing the sights and sounds of the alien city. Things were winding down for the evening, but there were still plenty of people around. We got more than a few funny looks, but no-one was stupid enough to try stopping us. I made sure to keep track of their emotions in the Warp; mostly apprehension, mixed with some curiosity and a hint of fear. They probably assumed we were a couple of mercenaries in the employ of the local Hutt crime lord, or something similar. I saw no reason to disabuse them of that notion.
As we walked, I tried to think of what else needed doing in the short term, vaguely aware of Kelly's curious examination of the various alien species we passed. I didn't know the exact date, but I assumed it was around the beginning of The Phantom Menace, as I had requested. If so, I could earn credits by stamping Anakin, as well as Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Maul when they eventually showed up.
Once we had a ship, we could look for other valuable individuals to stamp as well. I hadn't bought any lures, figuring Ahriman's knowledge of psykery would make them unnecessary. Fortunately, I was right; I could easily push an unsuspecting person's brain into unconsciousness, stamp them, wait three days, and be rewarded with some easy Credits. The Jedi's precognition might make things a bit tricky, but I could always do it when they were asleep, and Ahriman knew all manner of psychic powers that aided with stealth, despite it not being his area of expertise. You learned a lot in 10,000 years, as it turned out.
Speaking of which, as soon as our short-term needs had been met, I wanted to see what secrets of the Force I could learn from the Jedi, Sith, or anyone else. Perhaps that was Ahriman's scholarly nature bleeding over into my psyche. The jury was still out on whether the Force and the Warp were the same thing, but I was beginning to suspect that they were. They were both kinds of magic, after all; at most, they might have had different power sources. Hopefully then, my defences against psykery would protect against Force powers as well.
And that was another thought; the Company had given me a suit of terminator armour with psychic wards built-in, despite me not thinking to ask. I would have to do something similar for Kelly's Mjolnir suit. That would be a good way to practise my new powers without it being too spiritually draining.
I was shocked out of my rumination when I heard, faintly in the distance, a very familiar tune.
"Is something wrong?", Kelly asked, noticing my startlement.
"No, actually, I think we're getting closer to what I was looking for", I said with a grin. "Come on."
I headed in the direction of the tune, realising we were on the less reputable side of town, but I didn't care. I couldn't resist paying a visit to the Mos Eisley cantina.
After a few twists and turns, I found the cantina. Pushing open the door and heading inside was… an incredibly surreal experience. It wasn't exactly like how it had been in A New Hope – it wasn't as dark for one thing, and the ceiling was, fortunately for myself, a lot higher, which made sense; they had to accommodate all sorts of different species, after all. It was extremely busy, filled to the brim with people getting wasted after a hard day's work. The most notable thing was the band, playing the iconic cantina band music. Spotting an empty booth, I headed straight for it, Kelly following close behind.
"Couldn't you have picked somewhere nicer?", Kelly said, sitting down on the opposite side of the booth.
"This place is a lot more significant than it might first appear", I replied, my face still plastered with a shit-eating grin. "Besides", I continued, lowering my voice, "slavers don't go to nice places to get pissed."
"Good point", she replied. "So what now?"
"I'll get us a couple of drinks, and try to get information at the same time. I'll also try to identify any slavers we can get a new ship from."
I stood up, heading for the bar. Due to my size, I didn't have any trouble getting the bartender's attention.
"What can I get for you?", said an alien which I didn't recognise. He was fairly human looking, except completely hairless, with bright red eyes, reddish skin, and pronounced ridges around his eyes.
"I'll have a couple of Kowakian rums and Lopez, please", I replied. I assumed Lopez was some kind of soft drink, seeing the name on the board above the bar.
"That'll be 5 truguts", said the alien bartender.
I reached into a pouch on my belt – something else the Company had generously provided, despite me not asking – and grabbed a few coins, appearing literally out of nowhere, before setting them down on the bar. I figured the pouch worked similarly to the pocket space, only designed to look innocuous.
"Coming right up", said the bartender, reaching for some bottles behind him.
Extending my Warp-sight again, I began searching through the various emotions of everyone in the cantina, hoping to find slavers. I was distracted by feelings of unease emanating from behind me.
Turning around, I saw Kelly examining my Company device, her eyes narrowed. I wondered if she was having an existential crisis at discovering she was a fictional character... then again, she apparently already knew about the Catalogue? Clearly, I owed her some answers sooner rather than later.
"I've not seen you in here before", I heard the bartender say. "You new to Mos Eisley?"
Turning back to him, I replied, "It would be hard to mistake me for anyone else now, wouldn't it? Yeah, I guess you could say that. My… girlfriend and I don't really get out much."
Realising the bartender wasn't going to respond, I continued. "Speaking of, I don't suppose you know of anything interesting happening in the galaxy right now?"
The alien did a double take as he looked at me. "Boy you really don't get out much, do you? Haven't you heard about the blockade of Naboo?"
"What's this about a blockade?" I asked. I already knew the details, but it would be interesting hearing it from someone in-universe.
"What rock have you been living under? A couple of weeks ago, the Trade Federation decided they got sick of paying taxes to the Republic for the privilege of making bank off of its people, and put the planet Naboo under siege in protest."
"Hasn't the Senate done anything about it?", I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nope. Apparently, since the Federation hasn't physically attacked anyone, they haven't actually done anything illegal. Meaning the Senate is stuck up shit-creek without a paddle."
"If I was ever wondering why letting a corporation get powerful enough to have representation in the Senate was idiotic, this tells me why. It makes me think that maybe the Republic isn't the shining beacon of civilisation they'd have us all believe", I replied.
"You can say that again", the bartender said, setting the drinks on the bar.
"Thanks for the drinks, and the info", I smiled as I made my way back over to the booth Kelly was at.
Setting the drinks down on the table, I said to Kelly, "I know I said I'd wait until we were somewhere secure, but I doubt anyone will hear us over that racket", I gestured towards the bar. "And we've got time to kill."
"Amedeus, am I… real?" Kelly asked.
"Ah, I saw you checking out my Company Device just now. It'd be most accurate to say you're a clone."
"Of someone who isn't real", Kelly pointed out.
"Depends on what you mean by real, Kelly. This version of you, sat right in front of me, is as real as everyone else. The original you, the person who was raised to be a Spartan-II supersoldier, originated in what is, from the perspective of my original universe, a work of fiction. Then again, this entire galaxy also originated in a work of fiction, and you weren't questioning whether that was real, so I guess the line between reality and fiction is pretty blurry. To be honest, I thought you already knew that, given that you knew about the Catalogue."
"I did, intellectually, but looking through all this…" Kelly trailed off as she gestured towards the Device. "Seeing myself listed as a companion, alongside my fellow Spartans, and given a rating of Tier 5, has given me an entirely new perspective on my life. It's one I'm not sure I like."
"To be honest, I'm not sure what I can say, other than you'll get used to it" I replied, shrugging. "Before yesterday, I had no reason to think I was fictional either, yet here I am, a cloned mind of my original self, inhabiting the body of a fictional character, in a fictional galaxy, surrounded by fictional people. Having been forced to confront the fact that the Company is capable of making fiction a reality, I have to consider that there is a non-zero chance that I am fictional as well. Yet, when everything here is as real as everything in our previous lives, does it really matter?"
"You know that probably means someone out there in the infinite multiverse has written a story about you, as well?"
"Probably? I'd say it's a statistical certainty. It's something I've made peace with", I said, drinking my rum and Lopez. I preferred whisky, but it was still pretty good.
"Was getting alcohol a good idea?" Kelly asked.
"You know with Body Defence we can eat and drink whatever we want, right?"
"Now that's going to take some getting used to", Kelly replied, sipping her own drink. "Way too sweet for me", she said, a look of disgust on her face.
"Clearly, civilian food and drink is something else you'll have to get used to", I replied.
Kelly snorted in response. "You know you still haven't told me where we actually are."
"Right. This planet is called Tatooine, somewhere in the galactic outer rim. As I said earlier, this world isn't part of the Galactic Republic, the galaxy's main polity. This entire system, and a bunch of others, are owned by the local crime lord, so it shouldn't be a surprise that slavery is alive and well around here."
"What kind of crime lord amasses enough wealth to own dozens of planets?", Kelly asked, frowning.
"The really old kind. The guy in question, Jabba is his name, belongs to an alien race known as the Hutts. They aren't immortal, but they can still live for centuries, meaning plenty of time for wealth to accumulate over multiple generations. I imagine he inherited most of it."
Kelly nodded. "To briefly change the subject, did you identify any slavers in here?"
While I'd been at the bar, I noticed a table of 6 tough-looking human men being especially loud on the opposite side of the cantina. Brushing my thoughts against theirs, I realised I'd hit the jackpot; they planned to leave the next morning, then travel to Kashyyyk to capture some wookiees to sell. Apparently, the hairy aliens were good for manual labour… though I did wonder why someone wouldn't just use droids for that instead.
"I have. On the other side of the bar, there's a table of 6 guys, all human, who are planning to leave tomorrow morning. They're planning to capture some innocent aliens to sell. The planet they're heading to is nowhere near here, so they'll have a ship capable of travelling through hyperspace."
"Hyperspace? I presume that's these people's equivalent to slipspace?"
"Pretty much, though the underlying physics is totally different… probably", I replied.
"You know, you gave me quite specific information just then, about the slavers. How did you find all that out without being noticed?"
"Good question. I'll give you a hint; it's related to the method I used to teleport us here."
Kelly's brow furrowed, looking thoughtful. "I don't see how they'd be related."
"I used… Well, it feels a bit silly to call it this, but it's really the best description. I used magic."
Kelly's eyes widened. I felt bad for turning her worldview upside down yet again, but it was better to get these things out of the way quickly. After a second, she once again looked thoughtful. "I really shouldn't be surprised to learn that magic exists, should I? Given every other revelation I've had in the past few hours."
"It's not called magic, but yeah. People in this universe call it the Force. The people in the universe my… new self is from call it the Warp. They're not exactly the same, but they're close enough. It is something I intend to master. As will you, in time."
"You intend to teach me magic?" Kelly asked. I could feel a twinge of excitement from her through the Warp.
"I'd be an idiot not to. I saw you looking at my Device earlier; you noticed I bought something called 'Template Stack'?"
Kelly nodded in response.
"The individual I chose to Template Stack, Ahzek Ahriman, is probably the most powerful sorcerer alive. My own power isn't even a pale shadow of his. But as I use it, and learn more about it, that power will grow. Eventually to match his power… and eclipse it. And what better way to learn than to teach? Plus, I think it'll be fun."
"I learned a lot during my training as a Spartan, but I never would've dreamed of learning something like this", Kelly replied, now smiling.
"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'll have to buy you your own Template Stack first, or possibly Added Potential, and I only have 2 Credits right now. That's why I asked the Company to start us off on Tatooine; there'll be some easy credits I can make in fairly short order."
"From stamping other people who can use magic, I assume?"
"Exactly. I should…", I trailed off, noticing the slavers I'd identified getting up to leave. "The slavers are starting to move. We can talk more later."
"What's your plan?", Kelly said.
"We follow them, far enough behind so they don't notice us. Cortana can hack their ship's computer, allowing her to control the entire thing. Then we subdue the slavers, preferably without killing them. They might be useful."
"Useful for what? Stamping?"
"I doubt they'll be worth anything, but I may as well try. I was actually thinking of practising my new powers on them."
"I might object on moral grounds, if not for the fact they've committed crimes worthy of execution", Kelly replied.
"Precisely. Now let's get going, in case they decide to take off early", I said, downing the last of my rum and Lopez, noticing Kelly's was practically untouched.
As we walked out of the bar, tracking the slavers through my Warp-sight, I said to my device, "I'm sorry for ignoring you Cortana, but I didn't want to attract any more attention than necessary."
"It's fine, though I'm not happy about it", my AI companion grumbled. "I noticed the 'no droids allowed' sign, the racist bastards."
"Well, in a minute you can have some fun with the slaver's ship, though I doubt it'll be much of a challenge. Their ship is bound to have a Holonet receiver somewhere, you should be able to get in through that."
"One step ahead of you there, Ame. The slavers are on their ship, and I've already got the whole thing bugged to high heaven. Breaking in here was completely trivial. Haven't these people heard of anti-virus software?"
"Perfect. Just stop them taking off for now, we'll be there in a minute."
Heading in the slaver's direction, keeping track of the location of their Warp-presence in realspace, I quickly found my new vessel. It appeared to be a small cargo ship, of a design I hadn't seen before, though some parts were reminiscent of the Millennium Falcon.
"Cortana, I need you to lower the cargo ramp, but don't touch anything else unless they try to take off. If we can take them by surprise, so much the better."
"Can do, Ame", Cortana replied. Sure enough, the cargo hatch slowly slid open, allowing Kelly and I to board. As soon as the ramp slid shut behind us, I noticed several cages in place of where the cargo would normally go.
Well, that settled answered the question of where the slavers would be living, at least until I decided to render them not living.
Using a small bit of psykery to muffle both mine and Kelly's heavy footsteps, I made my way through the ship, finding the slavers in the common room. The stench of alcohol was overpowering, even more so than in the cantina. They were all heavily drunk, so none of them noticed my arrival. Not wanting to change that, I pushed them all into unconsciousness, something made easier by their drunken state.
"Well that was easy", Kelly said. "Are you going to put them in the cages in the cargo bay?"
"Well, it does have a certain amount of poetic justice", I grinned. "I'll deal with them properly tomorrow."
Sticking the slavers in their own cages, I examined the rest of the ship. It wasn't huge, but there were a few rooms in the crew quarters, as well as a bathroom and kitchen. One room in particular had a large double-bed in the middle, presumably belonging to the slavers' leader. I guess it was mine and Kelly's room now.
"Not exactly the height of luxury", I said to Kelly. "Still, it'll do."
"I'd say it's quite a lot of space for three people actually, especially when one of them is digital", Kelly smiled. "I take it you aren't from a military background?"
I shook my head. "I was a tax inspector."
Kelly laughed. "Ok, now that is definitely not what I was expecting."
"Which is why I chose someone who actually knows how to fight to accompany me on this strange journey", I replied. "I have the knowledge, courtesy of Ahriman's memories, but not the mindset. Not yet at least."
"I'd be happy to help with that, Ame. As well as with everything else."
"I look forward to it", I replied.
I truly was looking forward to it as well. We had our own ship now, and years until the Clone wars started, so plenty of time to explore the galaxy, teach Kelly how to be a psyker, and more… intimate things as well. Yep, life was definitely looking up.
AN:
I am honestly blown away by the reaction to the first post. Over 100 likes in 1 day is way more than I ever expected. It's quite humbling really.
I realise I leaned on the 4th wall a bit here, but there's not going to be any actual 4th-wall breaks.
By the way, I'm not actually a tax inspector.