Chapter 13
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September 1999
Summary:
At Sonny's PH, Carly continues to care for a broken Sonny and cleans his cuts. She refuses to leave Sonny alone until Francis returns. Tammy tells Jason that Johnny is looking for Jason and Sonny. Jason races to the PH. He enters and finds Carly with Sonny.
Felecia discovers Faison is still alive. Mac finds out and arrests the man believed to have killed Robert and Anna. Mac tells Felicia he tried but can't charge Faison with anything. They are releasing him. Faison makes a call about Master Spencer.
Katherine continues to stalk and manipulate Elizabeth and Nikolas. She takes a pregnancy test and intentionally lets Elizabeth know she is pregnant with Nikolas's child.
Weeks later, Katherine makes an appointment at a clinic. She tells the person on the phone that she needs to be pregnant as soon as possible. The doctor tells Katherine that the eggs have been fertilized and must be harvested now. Katherine finds out that she is barren as a result of the drug that Helena had given her.
Missing Lucky, Elizabeth wants an escape. She dresses up and goes to Jake's. Jason arrives and rescues her from a drunk patron. They confide in each other.
8/3-19/1999
Jason comes in. Carly says she stayed to help Sonny because Sonny wouldn't let her call anyone. He'd say he would be fine and, the next minute, would throw things at her. Carly says Sonny made her see how his wife died. Now, she sees him differently. She didn't think anyone could hurt more than she did or make as many mistakes as she has in her life; she slept with the wrong person just because Jason was not there.
Carly wants Jason to forgive her actions. She promises not to antagonize AJ if only to be friends with Jason again. Carly says, "I need you to recognize that everything I've done has been because I love you. Don't ever leave me again."
"Carly, I love you too, just not in the way you want. I forgive you, but please don't abuse the custody agreement. I'm reducing my visits as I don't want to confuse Michael. He is still getting used to AJ, and explaining that I am Uncle Jason and not his father will take some time."
"Ja-son." Carly whines."
"You need to let me go, and as hard as it is, I need to let Michael go."
"I'd do anything to be with you."
"Is it in Michael's best interest to drag him through another custody battle? Thank you for helping Sonny, but you should leave." Carly storms out.
Sonny says, "You should have been here for me, Jason, not Carly. You could be anything, and I made you into me. I've ruined your life. I want you out of the business so you will not get hurt."
"That's not true. You were the only one who treated me like a man, the only one who believed in me. I'd never change that."
Sonny throws his half-full glass of scotch and asks if it is easy for Jason to pick up where he left off. Jason replies that is all he knows. Sonny apologizes to Jason for yelling at him. Jason says he's used to it. Sonny says he is in a dark place and doesn't want Hannah to see that.
Nikolas and Elizabeth attend a musical act at Luke's. Alan and Monica allow Emily to see the show. Emily visits Juan at GH and sneaks him out. Nikolas explains to the group that he and Katherine have broken up. Emily joyously shouts her approval.
Elizabeth arrives at Kelly's to find Nikolas covering for her. He puts coins in the jukebox and entertains her by dancing with a mop. She takes the mop's place. Katherine watches through the window and leaves. Elizabeth has memories of Lucky and stops. They talk about the past and Lucky. Nikolas apologizes, and she tells him no, that he has been wonderful, and to please not stop what he is doing because he is improving it.
Elizabeth gives Nikolas a painting of LuLu to hang in his cottage. He thanks her profusely. Laura arrives. She also loves the painting. Elizabeth explains that she must return to work. Once Elizabeth leaves, Laura notes that Nikolas appears fond of Elizabeth. Nikolas agrees she is the best.
Nikolas hangs Elizabeth's painting. Nikolas says that the painting shows she seems to have more of a sense of herself despite what happened. Laura says Nikolas has been a good friend to Elizabeth. She thinks Lucky would be grateful that his brother was looking after her. Nikolas says he and Elizabeth were already friends. It's not as if he has had to make any special effort. Laura says that, under different circumstances, Elizabeth is the kind of girl she would like Nikolas to be with. Nikolas disagrees. He can't speak for the circumstances, but Elizabeth is the girl in love with Lucky. She still is. Laura agrees and thinks it will take her a long time to heal. He assures Laura that he feels nothing but friendship for Liz. To Liz, he is Lucky's brother.
Emily sneaks into Juan's room, and Jason catches her. She says Juan thinks Sonny is his father and that he tried to spy for him but was attacked instead. Juan is faking the leg numbness because he wants to stay in Port Charles. Jason tells Juan that Sonny could not come to see him, so he sent him instead.
Jason's PH
Emily and Jason argue about Juan. She asks him to help with Alan and Monica. At first, Jason refuses but tells Emily that if Monica asks him, he will tell Monica that Emily should be allowed to make her own decisions. Emily tells Jason they don't like Juan because Sonny took Jason away. She uses his relationship with Robin to get him to help her. How she and Juan feel about each other is real, even though they are young, and it is no one's business but their own. He agrees to talk to Monica and Alan. Monica visits and is worried that Emily is using drugs again. Jason reassures her that Emily is clean from drugs. He hates anyone telling him what to do, so he will not do it to Emily. He tells Monica that he sees now that after his accident, she was only trying to help, but what she did was to push him away so that he had no other choice but to cut ties, and she better be careful, or the same thing could happen with Emily. Monica says she could not bear to lose Emily as if she had lost Jason. Jason says, "You haven't lost me; I am right here."
8/20-30/1999
Jeff calls Elizabeth and says, "I got Steven settled at the hospital, but I'm not returning as expected. Do you remember Anne Logan from your Gramps funeral? I ran into her at the airport, and we got to talking. I will spend a few weeks with her in New Mexico. She's going to show me the sights and do some camping. She's a doctor at Sante Fe Medical Center. Your grandmother worries, so please check in with her. Have you started classes at PCU?"
"I start classes at the end of next month. I got a few of the art courses I wanted and am taking some required core classes."
"Good, I hope to be back by then and for your birthday."
"Dad, you know I hate birthdays."
Elizabeth, sweetheart, it's your 18th birthday. It can be low-key. Last month would have been Lucky's birthday. That has to be a sad reminder that he never made it to 18. I'm sorry, Elizabeth. Are you still seeing Gail?"
"I've missed a few sessions, but maybe she can still help."
"I love you, and I'm proud of you."
"Thanks, Dad."
8/27/1999
Elizabeth listens to Lucky singing the song he wrote for her. She looks back at her life with Lucky and wipes tears away. She mutters, "Get over yourself, Elizabeth." She changes the music to a rock station. She sorts through her closet, wanting to wear something to make her feel special. She's not big on makeup, but if Jake isn't working tonight, she might try to order a drink. Settling on an outfit, she applies the finishing touches to her face. She wears the subway token she gave Lucky before he died. The late afternoon in August was warm, and she decided to walk. She walks into Jake's, wearing a tank top and jeans and carrying a small purse.
Elizabeth approaches the bar, chickening out on ordering something alcoholic. She remembers trying to order a beer from Ruby at Kelly's during her first week in Port Charles. The bartender hands her the diet soda, and a young man asks, "Are you sure you don't want something stronger?"
"I'm sure, thank you anyway."
"What about a dance? A pretty young thing like yourself shouldn't be alone."
Elizabeth feels uneasy and shifts her body away from the man. "No, thank you. I'm not interested."
The man pulls her toward him, "Don't be rude; all I asked for was a dance."
Elizabeth pushes the man, but he grabs her. She brings her knee in hard against the man's crotch. "I said no!"
He yells, "Bitch!" He raises his hand to slap Elizabeth when Jason stops him.
"The lady said no. Get in your car, and never go near her again."
"I didn't know she was yours."
"It doesn't matter. No, means no!" The man scampers away.
Elizabeth is more scared than angry but doesn't want Jason to know. She yells, "What is your problem? If I wanted your help, I would have asked."
"Elizabeth, Jake only lets you and Emily in here on my say-so."
"Do you see Jake here tonight?"
"On the condition that you wouldn't cause trouble. That was the agreement."
"Maybe that's what I want. Maybe I want someone to fight with. Nothing else seems to work—not friends, not painting, and not time."
"I tried that."
"What?"
"I tried to fix what hurt by finding something that hurt worse. You may not believe me, but it doesn't work."
"How would you know? You never had one good thing in your life, and you lost it? You never had someone come along to make you understand the point of life—the point of what being alive was about—and proved it by being gone, leaving you with nothing. Do you know what nothing feels like?"
Jason shrugs. Not that Elizabeth would understand, but Jason knows how she feels. "Yeah, that's pretty much where I live. Please sit with me. I see you are hurting."
Jason walks Elizabeth to a table in the back of Jake's bar. Elizabeth talks about missing Lucky. "I don't feel his presence anymore. I feel he is gone. All that is left are a few mementos, some sketches, and a subway token." she holds it up for Jason to see. "A dress I wore on a date to the No Name, a shirt of his that doesn't smell like him anymore. He never got to graduate high school. His cap and gown are hanging in my closet since there wasn't space in his apartment above your shop. How am I supposed to stop wanting to live the life I haven't lived with him now that he's gone? What am I supposed to do instead? Am I supposed to go backward?"
Jason listens as she shares her grief. She says, "It's not as if I never got past something terrible. Last year after my rape, I didn't think I'd survive that. I couldn't imagine being normal again. Lucky helped me discover normal again. But now it's just an act, and everyone seems to be buying it, and I feel like a fraud or that I'm letting Lucky down."
Jason asks why she picked Jake's to come to tonight. "I didn't think anyone would know me. That's what I wanted, to be someone else. I wanted to be who I was before I came to Port Charles, before my rape. I was rebellious and didn't take crap. I was a brat. Maybe I can be someone else. I wish I could jump forward where I don't hurt as much or be a better person for Lucky."
"Lucky didn't make you into someone better. You did that. You survived your rape. Robin taught me things, too. I used to think she made me, but she didn't do any more than what Lucky did for you. She loved me, but I stayed myself. Even love can't make you into somebody new."
You know Robin and I keep in touch. Bobbie reminded me I'm overdue for my next HIV test. Robin tells me it's important I do that. Even though Tom tested negative, they still want me to take the test."
"Elizabeth, I'm sure Emily has told you I don't like telling people what to do, but I agree with Bobbie and Robin. The uncertainty can be stressful; the sooner you find out, the better."
"I know. I've spoken with Gail Baldwin and made an appointment for next week."
"Lucky didn't try to change me. It was more like he found something special in me and said I had talent as an artist. But now, I no longer fit into my skin, and my drawings aren't the same. They used to be happy, but now they are furious. I feel furious. Is that wrong?"
"No."
Elizabeth talks about her feeling selfish and having to keep silent about her jealousy over Katherine having Nikolas's baby or not saying how she feels about Emily and Juan. She says her Gram bought her new clothes for college, but she doesn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she hates them.
"You think it's selfish to miss Lucky? I miss someone all the time. You can make an excuse to wreck yourself, but I think that's selfish, and people who care about you could be hurt. Sometimes, when other people need you, that's enough."
"I feel ungrateful. I know I have a lot of people who love me. Emily, Nikolas, my Gram, and even my Dad, who will be home soon. So much for coming here to stop hurting and get away."
Jason stands and extends his hand. "Come on. I want to show you what I do when I want to get away." He walks her outside to his motorcycle. He hands her a helmet. "Do you want to go for a ride?"
"Where?"
"Nowhere."
"I could go for that. Elizabeth puts on the helmet and gets on the back of Jason's bike.
"Hold on; if you don't like something, just yell." Elizabeth nods her head.
Later, he pulls up next to Webber house. Elizabeth slides off the motorcycle. Her body tingles with excitement. "Wow! That was fast!"
"What did you think?"
"The wind was so loud I couldn't think."
"That was the idea."
"Jason, thank you. For the ride, listening to me, for everything."
"Anytime." Jason waits until she is safely inside her house. He smiles, thinking that the evening, while unexpected, was a pleasure for change. It was the first time in a long time he enjoyed himself." He roars away on his bike.
Next up
September 1999